Toddler Separation Anxiety/general Moodiness

Updated on October 06, 2011
G.S. asks from Chicago, IL
4 answers

Hey moms -

I have 2 daughters - my youngest just turned 1 and the older one is just over 2.5 yrs old. For the past several weeks, my oldest seems to be having a lot of trouble handling her emotions and seems to be experiencing separation anxiety with me. She will be happy and having fun and then suddenly decide that she wants me to hold her and start crying when I am unable to do so. Then, she will start crying about just about everything and cannot stop. It seems to be worse in the evenings when I am preparing dinner and as my husband gets home. (Several days lately she will say that she doesn't want daddy to talk and she wants to have a conversation only with me.) Dinner time is a disaster - she will cry and refuse to eat. At my younger daughter's birthday party she was doing great & having fun and then suddenly needed me to be in the same room as her and paying attention only to her (and no one else's attention would do - even though some of her favorite family members were there).

My husband and I have tried a few tactics with varied success. I have tried giving her a little bit of alone attention for a few minutes but she seems to just drop right back into her 'tantrums' when I go back to what I need to do. We have used time-outs to try to giver her time to settle down and relax - one time that worked and she snapped out of it, the next day she continued until we just had to put her to bed without reading books (a big penalty for her). My husband has tried to remove her from the room and do something with just the 2 of them. I have tried talking soothingly to her and ask her to stop talking & crying and take some deep breaths.

I was just wondering if any of you have experienced anything similar and have some advice about what might be going on and what tactics have worked well for you. Is this just the 'terrible twos' hitting us late?

(As a side note, she does get quite a bit of sleep - 7pm - 7am plus a long afternoon nap 1:30pm - 4pm (approximate times - varies a bit each day as she likes to play in her room).

Thanks!

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K.D.

answers from Provo on

Try an afternoon snack. I have noticed that my kids are AWFUL if it is getting to be a while between meals. A piece of fruit, a cheese stick -- something light and small that will give her a little boost to get her through to dinner.

And there don't have to be terrible twos, threes, fours. They aren't terrible, they are children pushing boundaries trying to figure out what is acceptable as they grow older. Set the boundaries, set the consequenses, make sure she understands what they are, then enforce them.

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S.L.

answers from St. Louis on

It sounds normal to me. Not that will help you at all. This is just something that you will have to deal with the best you can. Trying to give her some alone time and then working with talking through the problem and not giving in on what your stance is on the topic at hand (eating, talking while you are talking so another adult, daddy talking to her etc...)

I have only heard about the trying threes, but I know they are real and I know they are coming for me too!

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

The terrible two's just prepair you for the threes. With my sons the more I gave into it the worst they got cause they learned they could keep getting away with it. Now when others are around i know it's a little different. I usually woudl take them in another room and explain that we don't act like that. Yes you want to give them time and attention but you don't want to teach them that throwing tantrams will get them the attetion.

Good Luck and God Bless.

A.S.

answers from Detroit on

Didn't need to read further than the first couple of sentences...

Before I even opened your post, I said... Nearing 3yrs old. THAT's it.

Welcome to the "trying threes". Both of mine @ 2.5-3yrs old started this. My son is 3 now.

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