Toddler Not Sleeping to Insist to Sleep in Our Bed!

Why don't you just sit in his room with him until he falls asleep? Maybe a white noise machine would help him sleep deeper too.

I know this is exhausting. You are doing well, but do not give up. Keep walking him back, do not speak with him.

Consider Placing 2 gates in his door way. Stack them. He may fall asleep on the floor, which is fine, he may cry, just check on him and tell him to get in his bed.

Maybe you need to lock your bedroom door. Maybe you need to place a gate at the top of your stairs.

Tonight, tell him. "You need to sleep, DO not get out of your bed."

Make sure he cannot see or hear anything going on around the house from his room. All lights off except where you are. Turn down the TV, turn down cell phones. lower your voices.

What is is his day like? Last nap should be over by 2:00.. No morning nap.

LOTS of really active play in the afternoon.. 1 1/2 to 2 hours if you can get it, Running, climbing, yelling, peddling.. Outside play.

Quiet dinner time, no TV at night or during dinner. Quiet bath time. Read stories.. no conversations.. Maybe rub his back or head while reading.

poor tired momma.
this is so hard.
but after your hard night's work, you let it all backslide and lost whatever ground you'd gained.
dang.
you are absolutely doing it right. persistence and patience are what will win this battle. i agree with victoria, quit carrying him. but don't succumb to anger. silently walk him back up the steps and back to his room, quick hug and out the door.
your husband needs to take a few shifts so you can get some sleep too.
hang in there!
khairete
S.

Stop escorting him back to bed.

Just stay there outside his door. When he opens it, say "NO! Go back to bed. It is bedtime now."

For every time he does it after, when he opens the door, just say NO! and pull it shut. He'll probably cry, but eventually he'll get the point.

You have to be firm...even a little mean about this. Stop carrying him back to bed. If you have to, put a childproof handle on his door so he can't open it. Or do what I did...turn the handle around so the lock is on the outside.

Whatever you do...don't give up again! This shows him that if he pressures you enough...even until 4 am, you'll give in!

It will take a few nights... but don't carry him back to bed. Make him WALK. You walk right behind him with maybe a hand on his shoulder at first... and just "escort" him... don't carry him.
He will lose ALL benefit of getting up and coming downstairs. As it is with what you have been doing....even if you don't let him stay in your bed, he gets snuggle time in your arms when you carry him back. Remove the incentive and you'll get less of it.

By not allowing him into yours. Be sure that you will be up again tonight until at least 4:00 because you gave in last night.

Tired as you are, there is no quick fix. The only way to fix it, is to not let it happen. If you have to, put baby gates across his doorway so he can't get out and then shut your bedroom door so you don't have to hear the inevitable screams when he realizes he can't get out.

Do not give in. Every time you give in, you add additional time it will take to break this habit.

For one thing, you can decide not to let him come into bed with you. Literally.

Two-year-olds have strange brains. They're trying to sort a lot of things out - things that they can't articulate - and they don't have imagination sorted out from reality. They're also good at playing power games. (Oh, I bet you knew that.)

If it's 8 p.m., it's pretty obvious what's happening, and he can go right back to bed. It's harder to tell at 3 a.m.

One thing you can do is to go to your library and find Russell and Lillian Hoban's BEDTIME FOR FRANCES. Read it to your son and enjoy it together.

You might see if he would like to do a little "reading" before he goes to sleep at night. Move bedtime up just a bit and let him take books with him in his own bed. You can turn out the light later. That might occupy his mind a bit - give him something new to think about that relates to his own bed.

Then you might say, "We need a lot of sleep at night, just the way you do. If you really get frightened in the middle of the night, you may come in, but only then! And if you come, bring your pillow and blanket, and you may sleep on the floor. But you must be very, very quiet and not wake Daddy up."

That offers your boy a couple of new things to think about. He can use his door-opening ability, and he has access to you if he's truly worried, but he will not get the bed - he will get the floor. Some children love this camping-out sort of feeling, but most get tired of it. He also must be quiet and not call attention to himself. If he responds to this by being very un-quiet at 3 a.m., then you know this, too, is a power play.

You could put a lock on the outside of his door and tell him since he is not staying in his room it will be shut until you open it. If he decides he'd rather stay in the room without a lock then let him but be sure he does it. We had that with a couple who decided about that age to join us every evening when it was their bedtime. They wouldn't come to our bed or anything but sit on the steps listening and watching and had to told to go back to bed way too often until we got that stopped. They don't want to miss anything. Adults have so much fun, you know.

You can only fight him off for so long, IMO. Both of my kids did this and here are some tricks that helped us. My son (now 4) has been worse about this than my daughter (3 in April) We put a soft light (40 watt) on in my son's room. It gave off more light than a nightlight, but less light than the room light. We discovered he would sleep for several hours, wake up and be scared because he didn't know where he was or was afraid of the silent darkness. He would come to our room. My husband or I would escort him back to his room and lay beside him on the floor until he went to sleep. We didn't talk to him because we realized he wasn't completely awake and many times we could just put him right back to bed without having to stay with him. If it was late enough in the morning around 5:30 or 6am, then we would let him climb into bed with us as my husband usually gets up around that time to get ready for work. I love that snuggle time with my kids! Other times if he just insists on being in the room with us, we will make up a bed on the floor and let him sleep there. We just kind of go with the flow with it. They eventually work themselves out of the phase.
Good luck!
HTH,
A.

You have already gotten some good advice about being consistent with your son and under no circumstances letting your son into bed. My son had this problem as well but what really finished the exhausting process was to offer him a "night pass". I went to the dollar store and found some fun and inexpensive toys then made an index card with the sun and moon on it. I told my son if he needed me he could use his night pass, but if he had it in the morning he could pick a prize. It works great! Your son may be a little young for this but something to consider. Hang in there and good luck!

His room is probably already set up as a safe place to be. Let him know what's expected before bed and what you will and won't do to have him stay in bed, follow through. Have a baby monitor near and turn the knob around and lock the door from the hall.

I'll commiserate with you. My 4.5 year old is still in my bed because I don't have the determination to keep putting her back in her bed all night long. I know it would only take a week at most, but man, I'm exhausted with a newborn. My daughter will sleep in her bed, but only if we stay with her until she falls asleep. And by then, I'm usually out too. Lol. And she usually wakes up in the middle of the night and sneaks into my bed anyway.

I still sit with my almost 3 year old until he falls asleep. Sometimes I sit in the couch with him, because at least that way he is confined. Usually I cannot sit by his bed because he just keeps sitting up and trying to get out of bed. It's just not a battle I feel like fight. As soon as he has fallen asleep, I place him in his bed. He's usually there for the night.

He does come to our bed in the middle of the night, and we just let him. We have an open door policy. If our boys want to come to our bed in the middle of the night, we make room for them. 99% of the time, everyone just goes right back to sleep. Just a thought!