I have a two year old who seems to have 2 personalities!!! 75% of the time he is so well behaved (well for a 2 year old :-)) and the other half the time he is an absolute tyrant. He hits, bites, pushes, screams and overall acts like the kid I never thought I would parent!!!! I am consisent with discipline. He seems to spend entire days in time out.... We are very stern with him and as mentioned it seems to work 75% of the time. But when he has these bouts of being the devil I just don't know what to do. He will hit me or another child. He will go to time out sit there and cry. He comes out we talk about what he did, why he was in time out, he apologizes and then 2 minutes later he does the EXACT thing again. I am just at my wits end. ESPECIALLY when I am his punching bag because that is not a situation I can remove, know what I mean?????
Any discipline advice??????
Is he tired? I know when my boys are tired they are far more likely to disobey and be cranky! I have a good friend who is a stay at home mom and her husband works a lot. Her 3 year old acts out a bit because he wants & needs his Daddy's attention. Do you think that something similar may be going on at your house? Just a thought. :)
we have a daughter that sounds similar to your son...she's almost 2. we read, "Healthy Sleep, Happy Child" and noticed that sleep is the most HUGEST influence on her behavior and that book is totally true and totally helpful. Good night's sleep + good nap = angel....bad night's sleep + short nap (usually due to a busier day which can put her over the edge) = total toot. So now, if she's tired, we just cut her some slack and get her to bed asap, even if she screams in her crib for a while b/c she's tired and none of us deal w/ that well.
We had the same issue for a while with our son. I agree with the tired issue, that was usually the cause. We have also done the taking something away...again, TV hits the hardest it seems. That is still the one thing that gets his attention the best...he's 4 now. One note on the time outs though. We found ours were not being effective either so we moved his time out chair to the laundry room. There's nothing in there to play with or do, so it really seems to hit home that he's in trouble. His other time out place was a corner, but he was still able to hear everything and although he'd sit and cry, it just wasn't hitting home like it should. Our laundry room is right off our kitchen, but it doesn't get all the sound that the corner did, so he feels like he's missing out on something more there. I'm not talking isolation, just removing more stimulation from him. It's really made a difference, also in how much he cries while sitting there. I guess he figures since he can't hear us as well, we can't hear him either, so he doesn't waste as much effort on screaming!
Is he talking much? Does he use many words? Sounds to me like he's frustrated and perhaps it's due to his inability to communicate. If so, try teaching him some signs. There's a bunch of good websites out there I've heard. My son was delayed with speech and I knew it was getting bad when he started to act out. The first thing the speech therapists recommended was teaching him some signs so he could better communicate. It could also be he's overly tired too. My son will definately act up when he's tired.
what's his currency? what does he LOVE and would hate if it were taken away? I (and other friends of mine) use/threaten taking away tv for the rest of the day. No TV shows at all. (unplug it if you have to). Or you can be specific -- "No Thomas the Train today."
I also give a warning and I offer him choices...."Matthew, you have 2 choices. The good choice is to stop hitting and be a good boy. The bad choice is to continue hitting and to make mommy upset. If you keep hitting, then you'll have no TV the rest of the day. What choice do you want?"
I've always heard from parenting specialists that offering choices helps kids feel they have some say in their lives...and they learn that with bad choices come consequences.
J.,
You are not a failure in your parenting. Sometimes children are just a little more challenging. If you would like some support you can always call your local ECI and they will do a free evaluation then let you know if there is something they can do to help you. You can call 800-628-5115 for you local program.
