Those with 2 Under 2- I Need Some Advice

My son was 19 months when my daughter was born. We spent a lot of time being sure he was a part of the baby prep. We asked him to help choose a blanket for baby, when we were painting her room my husband had him "help". Just little things referencing the baby when we could. We also got a couple fo books from Barnes and Noble about him becoming a big brother, and although I'm not sure how much he retained, they seemed to help a lot, as he heard and saw how the baby would change his home.

After our daughter was born, the first 6 months or so were a little difficult, but nothing drastic, just an adjustment to our routine, as it is with a new baby no matter when you have him or her. We made sure that I got to spend time with J, separate from his sister, so it wasn't as if I abruptly was gone. We had dates, just him and I or my husband and him, and as a family. We tried to include him in feeding the baby, getting her diapers, etc. My biggest heartbreak during all of this time, and the hugest lesson learned, was when she was around 6 months and J was just past 2. She was sitting up on her own, and we were praising her "Good job Maddy!" and so on, the J looked at me with the biggest and saddest eyes and said "Where is my good-job, mommy?". He then turned and went to go play with his blocks. It broke my heart, and I realized that even though we hadn't purposely done it, he was feeling like she was getting all of the attention. We made a concerted effort after that day to be sure to praise both of them.

After that it became significantly easier. Now that my son is almost 5 and my daughter is 3 1/2, it is almost like raising them as twins. My son still gets to do his "big boy" stuff on his own, but he loves teaching Maddy to do things. They play together all of the time, most of the time nicely. They are usually very good about sharing, and helping each other. We still make sure to have special date time with each of them separately, at least a few times a month. They are the best of friends, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Good Luck!

Hi A. M-

I have 7 kiddos...born between 1989...and 1996 (twins were my finale...LOL).

I found with one and two (14 months apart) 'I' was more concerned about this than the kiddos EVER were. I got my eldest son an anatomically correct doll (I thought my now ex was going to have a COW)...and tried to have him become interested in 'nurturing' 'buddy' (the name he gave the doll).

He dragged that doll around by the random arm...leg...or NECK (yite!!) and had me PETRIFIED to give birth!

When his brother came, he was fine...my 'special helper' with wipes/dipes etc. NO Jealousy at all.

Then, their sister was born about 17 months later...and they were BOTH helpers...the only concern was 'why is caitlin's fanny in the front?'

Once we discussed penises and vaginas...the house re Sounded with questions TO visitors regarding their genitalia! lol

After that...it was common place for another baby to come along...and a toddler to move from 'our' bed...to a 'big person' bed.

I think A LOT has to do with YOUR attitude...and making it a positive event for the 'younger' kiddo...

Best Luck!
michele/cat

Actually I would not be concerned about him understanding because he is young. My dour kids were all a year apart. Mine thought every time I went to store, I came back with a baby. Lol. He will be good at helping get a diaper etc. just be aware that when you are feeding baby, to make sure he sits with you and you can read a book or give him something to do. They cannot get the concept of new baby so I would not go overboard. I have seen that backfire with kids that are older. They have heard about this new baby over and over and over that they end up resenting the baby. My feeling less is more. Bring baby home, incorporate I to family without a big fuss.

My girls are exactly two years apart. During my entire pregnancy we talked about the baby in mommy's tummy, and that pretty soon I would go to the hospital and that the baby would come out of my tummy and come home with us. I kept it in those simple terms, and repeated it alot. We also read a lot of books. These are some good ones:
My New Baby-Rachel Fuller
I'm a Big Sister-Joanna Cole (there's a big brother one too)
Baby on the Way-Sears Family
What Baby Needs-Sears Family

Good luck!

A co-worker had taken her children to a local hospital's siblings class. She said it helped them to realize mommy would be in the hospital for a few days. Perhaps you can do this with your kids.

just don't rush your 18 months old child to understand what's going on....
or if you're are anticipating that it will be a troublesome when the 3rd baby's going to be born that your 2nd baby will be jealous why don't you show him pictures or videos of a good relationship of an older and younger sister or brother

Updated

just don't rush your 18 months old child to understand what's going on....
or if you're are anticipating that it will be a troublesome when the 3rd baby's going to be born that your 2nd baby will be jealous why don't you show him pictures or videos of a good relationship of an older and younger sister or brother

if this is your 3rd, then what did you do the 1st time around? Use whatever worked for the big brother!

I used books & that helped a lot. It's been years...so not sure what's available now.

Wishing you a speedy & safe delivery!

We didn't explain. The children were 15 months apart. Eventually went from #4 to #5, and each time the newborn has to be protected from siblings (that's the hardest part). I could not leave the baby alone at all with any of them (well especially the current toddler,) so baby spent first few months in the corner sleeping, behind a gate. Those months passed quickly, though!

My first and second are 20 months apart. My son came to all my prenatal appointments, we found some good books about the new baby coming (ck your local library - there are TONS of them). But other than that, we didn't do much.

I will say, the transition was much easier than I imagined it would be. But I think it is almost easier with the older child is so young. They really adjust fast. Our only time that I needed to change things was my husband had started doing my first son's bedtime before baby came. We had to switch back after, my son just really needed me at that time. My husband had to hold the crying baby and I put the older boy to bed. It only took a week and then we switched back to my husband doing bedtime again.

Good luck!

My girls are 15 months apart. I agree with Patty and Jess that you don't need to go into too much explanation. Under 2, they just are not capable of understanding what being a big brother or sister means or the changes a new sibling is going to bring to their lives. They are very adaptable and are usually better at handling change than we adults are. Your son will handle it like a champ, I am sure!