The More the Merrier??

hi M.-

well if you want to have a nother great child go for it but if you want to go through everything again thats great trust me i luved watching my lil sister growing up like as a new born it was preatty fun lol but if you think you can put up with it and if you think it would be great go for it.YOU SHOULD TRY!!!! have fun let me know what you de side.good luck :)

Ok well I have a strong headed, loves lots of attention and hates to share mom 4 year old. An energetic fun loving excited 2 year old and a 3 month old. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I am very much a control freak and like order and hate chaos but when it comes to kids we all manage to make each other happy even in the chaotic times. I also teach gymnastics 3 days a week so that can add some stress sometimes but I really wouldn't have it any other way. I think you should definitely go for it!!!

Hi M.!

My name is M. I am a mother of 3. I have a 7yr old daughter a 4 yr old boy and a 2 yr old girl. I was real worried about how a third child would change my life. The thought of maybe a bigger vehicle, school, and many other expenses surely came to mind. My first child spoiled my husband and I both. She was a breeze. A very mellow little girl and the light of our life. We had our second and some things changed but not a lot. He is a little boy through and through. A lot of energy!! When we brought home our third child yes a few more things had to change but not much. I stay at home with my kids and I love every minute of it. My little ones birthday is in a few days and will be 2. She is learning from the older siblings and is potty trained. I do find myself sometimes thinking holy cow I have 3 kids wow where did the time go. I come from a big family. My mom had 8 brothers and sisters and I had 5 brothers and sisters. I enjoy the 3 I have and maybe in the future 1 or 2 more. You sound like your family is a loving family so why not have another one if you are ready. Hope this helps you in any way.

Hi Mel.
I have 3 kids a girl and 2 boys ages 22,17 & 16. While I definitly feel the third rounded out our family, having 3 (to me) totally changes things. Three kids can never come to a consensus about anything. They never want the same thing at the same time. Even if they all love pizza, they'll be one who doesn't want pizza that day--same with activities. Compared to the amount of time I was able to spend reading etc... with the first, the 3rd gets the short end which can be disheartening. On the other end he's around more alone with me while the other 2 are out. Not trying to talk you out of it but I just don't believe those folks who say once you have a couple having more is no big deal.

I have 3 girls. The 3rd was a surprise. We were planning on having just the 2. My girls are 3 1/2, 20 mths & the last (hopefully, if the dr did the surgery right this time) will be 3mths on 3/2. It was a transistion since my 20th old is such a mommas girl. The girls love the baby and my 3 1/2 yr old is a big help! I think it all depends on your current stress level and if you can add to it without losing your sanity. LOL. I think 2yr spacing is really good. It worked really well for my 1st 2. I have some rough days but who doesn't. AND little time with my hubby at this stage. Since he was the 3rd child (LOL) he feels neglected at times. I think if you have family that is willing to help (live here) it would make it easier. It really depends on your support system and what your comfortable with.
Good Luck!

Hi there, I am a mother of 5 all 1 1/2 years apart from eachother. All I can say is, if there is a will there is a way. You can always make it work finacially. We live off a weekly food budget of $100 and we seem to always have just enough. Our budget is tight, but it is worth the sweet little spirits that come into our family. As for the spacing of the children, I grow up in a family of 7 children, all of which were 1 1/2 apart as well, 4 boys and 3 s, I can't tell you how fun it was growing up in a large family. We had our quarels like any other, but all in all we were good friends and are even better friends now that we are all grown. Nothing is better or more rewarding then children. Good luck on your choice. You will be blessed.

I am a mom of 4 (3 girls and 1 boy) Although it gets exhausting at times, they learn how to share, play with others and always have someone to watch out for them. I had my first 2 only 10 and 1/2 months apart and the 3rd cam 19 months later and my last was 2yrs after that. When they were little I made them all take naps at the same time and go to bed at 6:30- 7pm so I could have down time. With the baby, she was just little off the schedule, but not by much. I involved the older ones in helping me change diapers (getting me wipes, new clothes etc. When ever it was time to nurse I had the others gather around me and I read stories to them. My kids are know ages 5 to 9 and I am blessed with being able to 4 other kids during the day. My kids never spent much time infront of the TV or computer, so their imagination and creativeness keep them busy. Yes it does get loud and the kids do fight with one another, but 2 kids will fight aas well as four.
C.

Howdy,

I have four beautiful girls ages 8, 6, 5, and almost 2. I love them all.

Baby number three was the most difficult because I only had two hands and usually one of them was holding baby number 2. Once I figured out how the hand thing worked everything was good.

On age, I would have them close in age so that they had someone to play with. My two year old is always sad when her sisters go to school and she is by herself.

Hope this helps and God bless you whatever your decision may be.

K.

Hi! We have three little monkeys! They are ages 2, 4 and 8. We were not planning on 3...our last was a surprise. And what a great surprise. The 2 oldest are boys and our youngest is a girl. I wouldn't change it for the world....even on the craziest days. There are definite challenges with 3, but there are challenges with any number of kiddos. All 3 of mine get along pretty well. The boys ar very protective of their sissy....the boys are not always the nicest to each other. There are days that I want to pull out my hair and then I get a sweet I love you momma or a sloppy kiss or hug and it all makes it worthwhile!!!! The 3 make teamwork in our marriage a necessity. Hope you all make the decision that is most comfortable for your family.

Hi M.! We have 3 kids ages 7 (boy). 5 (girl) and 3 (boy). We weren't planning on having 3, thought we were set with one of each, but God had other plans and blessed us with one more! I have to say going from 2 to 3 was a HUGE adjustment for me personally in the beginning. I have two hands to hold on to two, so that left one to chase around the store! HA! (Maybe because they were closer in age.) Now that they are older it is much easier, and I cannot imagine my life being any different. If you are both wanting more children, then go for it! Each child brings new and amazing adventures and perspectives to life. I wish you all the best!!

M.,
I totally had to laugh at your, why not 4 or five comment! Before my husband and I even got pregnant we discussed the amount of children we'd like to have someday. I said two (as that was all in my family, me and my bro), he said three (like his family)....I said no, if we have three, why not have four and keep it even. Well, I believe the Lord has a sense of humor....when my oldest was almost one we started trying for #2 which turned out to be twins! So I had three kiddos all under the age of two. Four years later, we had #4, and two and half years later #5. I love having a large family, and have been blessed with the opportunity of staying home. We feel completed with our family and now are dedicated to raising this bunch. My kids are each others best friends, I wouldn't change it for the world. Chaotic?? Somedays, but for the most part....wonderful!
Having a good three or four years between is kind of nice, then you aren't having to buy so many diapers or having to potty train with a newborn. You'll know in your heart if and when you are ready. Best wishes!

Alison (sahm of 5 great kiddos 13,11,11,7,4 and one awesome husband)

I would say wait. Those were the ages of my oldest when I had my 3rd. It really adds to the chaos. We love the 3rd and he is a blessing, but if you think your life is crazy now it is even crazier with three so young.

I thought three kids sounded good, but I had to talk my dh into it... we have four now because sometimes that third child becomes three and four. Yes, identical twins. Having four kids is kicking my butt. The change from 2 to 4 was huge, but I do thank my stars we waited until the second was three and a half to give her younger siblings. It was so much better than the 2 1/2 year difference between my first and my second. A three year old can be reasoned with in a way that a two year old cannot. That's my two cents.

I have 4 children - 8,6, and nearly 3 and 1. I find that having kids two years apart is difficult unless you have an incredibly well disciplined 2 year old. I don't know if that's even possible. Right now I am trying to find ways to confine my 2 year old while I'm trying to nurse my 8 month old without distracting him from nursing. I was dreading this since I have already experienced life with children two years apart. Well, I find it to be far worse than I remember probably since I am also busy with getting the older kids to school, homework, laundry, all the things that are more, with more children. I don't want to discourage you though, since I think that bigger families are awesome, just more work. I really want to have another girl, since we only have one, for the whole sister thing, and so badly that I have considered not complaining one bit about any of the work that goes along with it. Basically I say go for it, with your husband's agreement of course. I would have rather had them farther apart, but I am more strongly into trusting God about timing. Regarding the older one being jealous, ours is still jealous. I see that we made some mistakes when our second was born, like losing her bedtime routine, especially the rocking, singing and prayer time (15 min.) and not spending the quality time with her that she needs. So have more children, just keep everybodies love tanks full. The older ones are incredibly aware of how much time you spend taking care of the baby.
I find that taking care of kids and the house is a lot of work, but the bottom line is that I wouldn't want anybody else to do it for me. And the rewards, like the joy of watching them grow and loving you back, far outweigh the costs. More kids does mean less free time for you and your husband, especially short term. But doo it well and you will turn out some great kids, which obviously this world could use more of.

I hope the best for you and your family.

I have 5 kids, 3 boys and 2 girls. I am for having more kids. Everyone know their limits and what they can handle. The more you have does make things crazier but the love you have for them outweighs it. My kids don't always get a long but when they do it is so fun to watch. My three oldest are boys then I have two girls. I have had my kids as close as 2 years and 20 days apart up to 3 and 1/2 years apart. There are positives and negatives to both. I love having my boys close and in school together but when they were young it was hard. My daughter is 3 and 1/2 yrs younger than my youngest boy and it was a good gap. I needed it at the time. You know yourself and what you can handle. Just know that my kids like having a lot of siblings(most of the time) and even have asked me why we aren't having more. Your kids will do great either way.

I am in a similar pickle - mine are currently 4 and 19 months and we are debating a third, either soon, or maybe wait until my youngest is closer to 3. It is all such a good balance right now, with lots of crazy days, that although I can't imagine not having another baby, I can't imagine adding to the chaos! I am curious to see your responses!

A little about me... I have a 9 year old step son (we have joint custody) and 18 month old twins. I also have a nephew who will turn 4 in the next few months and he spends a lot of time with me and my kids. My sedan works fine for us, for now. I can fit 3 car seats in the back (it is snug), so a larger vehicle would be nice, but at this moment is not a necessity. However in the next couple of years it will be, since my oldest will be traveling for sports and we won't be able to fit all of our stuff! Since you already have a boy and girl, the 3rd would be set for clothes and toys, and it sounds like more than likely, you won't have more then 2 kids in diapers at the same time. So that expense will remain the same. The biggest change that I noticed from going from 1 child to 3 was not the expense, it was the lifestyle change. Your family will be ready to pack up the car and go to disneyland, the water slides, etc and with a new born that hampors those activities for a long time. Granted the age difference we have in our kids is greater, and for the reason my husband and are having t he same decision now. Do we really want more, or do we miss our toddlers being babies. the other challange I am facing is how long can we afford for me to stay home. Good Luck!

Hi M., My husband and I had decided that we would stop after two babies, I wanted more, but he was adamant. SO he was going to have a vasectomy, but sooner rather than later, I was pregnant again. My daughter was only eight months old at the time. I felt very scared. however, I am so blessed to have these children so close together. I have a son, 5 years, daughter, 3 years and a son, 2years. They are the best at sharing of all my friends kids, they always have a playmate around. yes, it gets loud and chaotic at times, but it is the best. Sure i had to get reacclimated to life when the 3rd was born. But he was such a gift to his brother and sister, they really love him. We had three car seats stuffed in the back of a sedan for a couple years. But it worked. I thought that I always wanted four, but once I was outnumbered I realized we were staying at three. I have other friends with three kids each and it seems the more the merrier!

Hello! I have a 5-yr-old daughter, a 3-yr-old daughter, and a 6-month old daughter. There are lots of girls in this house and frankly my husband feels a little out numbered. In our case with my 2nd pregnancy I had a problem because I have Rh- blood and my daughter is Rh+ and somehow I got sensitized to her blood. I had the Rhogam shot with my first but somehow things went wrong the 2nd time. Anyway we were told that having a 3rd baby would be extremely difficult and that the pregnancy could be very rough. We decided to take a leap of faith and went for it. The house is definitely more chaotic but from my point of view I wouldn't have it any other way. My two oldest are only 22-months apart so waiting until the 2nd was 3 seems to be better for me. I like it because my 5-yr-old is very independent and helps alot with the baby and the 3-yr-old is potty trained and fairly independent too. For me personally it would have been hard to do 4, 2, and newborn but the extra year makes it great. I am primarily a stay-at-home mom but I am a speech therapist and do some work teaching classes on the weekends. I love having 3, although I am extra thankful because the last pregnancy could have been a nightmare and it wasn't. I hope that helps. Good Luck!

Oh, yes, Sweetie - three is a new kind of chaos! A lot of women do this without breaking a sweat. I am not one of them. Maybe it's the particular angels I have - they keep me constantly running in circles! A big thing is that they now outnumber "us", that is, the adults in the house. And sometimes I'm concerned that each is not getting the individual attention he/she needs. But at the end of the day, I wouldn't trade being a mom of three for anything in the world. God blessed us with a beautiful and, um...what's the opposite of boring???...family dynamic and I'm thankful to Him every day. Perhaps when they're older I can take a breath. LOL

By the way, my first two - Michael and Caleb - are almost four years apart, and my youngest - Mercy (what a lovely surprise!) - is almost 2 1/2 years younger than Caleb. I'm glad I didn't have them closer together. In fact, sometimes I wish Michael had been in high school when Caleb was born. lol : )

Since you were looking for others' experiences, here's mine. But there's really no way of telling what's right for your family yet, M.. I'd pray about it and make sure you're prepared financially, physically, and emotionally before you jump on in. All the best to you and Super Hubby in your decision!

~ R.

Hey M.,

I vote yes, on the more the merrier!
I am a mother of 3 kids. I have 2 girls who are 18 months apart (ages 7 and 6 now). I also have a son who will be 4 this July. I love having the 3 children! Yes, it gets crazy, but thats part of having chldren. Just pack 3 of everything, and make sure the kids learn to help with one ~ another. My girls love helping with their little brother, and they even tell me they want me to have another baby. Being that I am a labor and elivery nurse perdiem, they also see many babies at my work.

We are very happy the kids are close in age. My girls are extremely close, sometimes making up their own kid language, and my little guy is well taken care of by his big sisters and Mom and Dad. He blends right in as the 3rd child. We are still debating on the 4th one. It seems after having three, what is to having 4 or 5? Its amazing how there is always enough love to go around! Hope it all works out!

I am pregnant with #3 right now. I just wanted to say that for each of them I, as the mom who would be doing most of the child-rearing (was able to stop working to be home when daughter #1 was 2 1/2), felt emotionally ready to have another baby. Our gap from #1 to #2 (both girls), is almost 4yrs, and that is because in between I had my own athletic pursuits I was not ready to give up in order to be pregnant again. It is more difficult when you have 2 little ones to be able to have your own pursuits, but I think my life outlook changed between them. Then being home with daughter #2 her whole life was completely different to having #1 and working, and having her in daycare, and having much more chaotic evenings with all the home responsabilities you have between work ending and bedtime. But with number 2 I really had so much more time to enjoy her as a baby and that made me feel ready to have another. Plus it was more relaxing to be the home-maker - basically doing the same things I did in the 3-4 hours after work, but having all day to fit things in and not feel rushed and worn-out. I know I am fortunate to be home with them. When the eldest started Kindergarten, it was a big transition for me - far more emotional than I imagined , and I realised how short of a time it is really that they are wee ones, and you have that much treasured time. I feel like she graduated from home and I hope I have her prepared for the big wide world of school!
I am anxious about how it will be with the gap to newborn baby boy being just 2yrs behind #2, but with the bigger gap between the first, I wanted them closer. We started to see the more-the merrier philosophy, with out being blind to the extra chaos of course! When it comes down to it, family is everything, and we feel we are only enriching all of our lives, for the entirety of our lives (eg more grandchildren perhaps!) to have another addition.
It can be hard to get back into baby mode after a long gap, but on the flip side everything is new again as you forget how much they have grown when you see them next to a newborn!
So I would just say, it is very important for you to be ready emotionally as the mom, and it may happen given more time. I think you need to consider your needs, and that is not being selfish when it comes to parenthood! If you decide to have 3, then the spacing that works best for you will ultimately be the best for your family.

I do think the more the merrier. I have 4 children ranging form 11 to 2 1/2. When deciding to have our third we were told that going from 2 to 3 is not a big deal....that was wrong..the jump from 2 to 3 is huge!!!! You are now outnumbered and even the best behaved children can make it a little frustrating at times. BUT...I wouldn't trade it for the world - 3 times and hugs and kisses, 3 time the love....it is also an added expense...but when you see how they interact it is well worth it - heck we went for 4!!!!! I think the pros far outweigh the cons....and the children are happier with more siblings around to play with and hang out with- they are very well adjusted kids who make friends easy and have genuine concern for others.

I have 3 kids 4 and under, and it is crazy! I love it though. My first 2 are girls and they are 16 months apart, and it is perfect. They are best friends. Adding number 3 has been a bit of a challenge. You only have 2 hands, so when all of them are pulling at me at once, it gets a little crazy. I love having them close though. My personal preference is to have them all close so they all grow up together and can play together and be friends. Everyone I have talked to has said that once you have 3, you can handle as many as the Lord will give you. Get through a few years of diapers and teething and babyproofing, and then you move on. If it were me, I wouldn't wait. You'd be surprised how big of a help a 4 year old can be! She'll also get a lot more self suficient over the next year, which will take some of the stress away. Everyone is so different, and every baby is different. If you have a good baby, it makes a big difference. All my babies have been amazingly good and easy. It's when they hit 2 and 3 that things go a little crazy.
The final verdict from me, is go for it! Yah it will be crazy, but it won't always be that way.

I have three (and no more, fixed the husband!) but they are all 2 yr's minus 10days apart (9-21-02, 9-11-04, 9-1-06) and I thought going from 2kids to 3kids was way easier than going for 1kid to 2kids, you already have the multitasking down. When the baby is a newborn they sleep quite a lot and your daughter will LOVE to help and believe it or not she could be! This year my oldest is in kindergarten all day now and I feel like I have been given a tiny gift of time because I was so used to last year living with the 4,2,and new year olds all day. All three (two oldest girls, baby boy) all actually get along quite well and even put up with baby brother destroying any and everything they try to build, some tears are shed but they get over real quick and love their little brother. Also having them closer together like that I think they adjust better to having to share the attention of mommy. It is crazy busy but with two at the ages you have you already know crazy busy, have them quick get out of diaper stage faster and then you can be to the point I am now FINALLY getting rid of the bulky baby swing and bassinet little tiny baby toys and clothes when they are outgrown - you know take back your home a little and not have to keep all the little baby parafenilia for additional years.
Best of luck and wishes to you!!

My husband and I have 5 children. This is something that we decided we wanted for ourselves. I think it's a very personal decision. If you feel you would like more kids, then do it. Having 5 kids is chaotic and hard, but it's exactly what I've always wanted to do with my life. If you feel your family is complete with 2, then it must be complete. We are not sure if we are "done" or not. Our youngest is 8 months old and if over the next couple of years, we feel that it's time for another, we will try. As far as spacing goes, our oldest is almost 11, then 8, 5, 2 and 8 months. 2-3 years was a good span for us, but I know that's not the case for everyone. We planned all but the last one. We wanted a 5th, we just didn't know she was coming so soon. So you can plan, but that doesn't always mean that's how it will work out. I heard someone say once that they never heard anyone say they wish they had fewer kids! Best of luck with whatever you decide. You'll make whatever decision is best for your family!

I have three children ages 9, 6, and 3. Girl,boy,girl. The third really sent shock waves through the family. (Pregnancy complications and colic... yikes!) For me personally, having more time in between children was a must. I am considering a fourth at this time because I think having an even number breaks up the two vs. one that usually happens. I also have two friends that have had two kids close together then a gap of 4-6 years and then two more close together. I think this might work for you. But the more I've talked to people the more I realize only you know what's best for you.

Well I understand completly! I am 21 and have 2 boys ages 3 and 22 months.... a step daughter thats 20 months and one on the way due any day!!! so i have my hands full but i have come to find having them so close actually is better.Of course they have their moments but the baby has brought the kids even more together they love planning things for the baby and buying things its awesome.

There's never a convenient time to have another child, bottom line, because there will always be extra work involved, but there also come additional benefits, too. With our sixth on the way in September, NONE of them planned, (ages 15, 14, 9, 5, & 3) I have found that no matter what, we have all just adjusted. There has always been provision somehow, and the thing about families is that however many you have they have no point of reference for how many children should be there anyway. So don't over think the whole process because the perfect timing will never show up and no matter what happens everyone will have to learn to live together anyway. That's what a family is; people coming together and sharing their lives. Life will make room for another baby if you want to have one, and that should be what your decision is based on, not necessarily what college will cost in the year 2027. All that will work itself out in the proper time...

M., when I was pregnant with my third child I was very much unsure of how things were going to work. My second child was 10 months old when I learned that I was pregnant. I was terrified! I didn't know how this new baby was going to fit in. Would there be enough love and patience to go around? Definitely! Well, maybe the patience department runs a little dry sometimes. We didn't plan on our third being so close to the others but she is such a blessing in our home. She is so different than my other two and she really brings so much more to our family than we could have thought. Watching all of my children's different personalities is so amazing! Don't worry about the education and long term challanges so much. In time you'll adjust to meet those needs. Think about what it would mean for you right now and focus on those feelings. I'm now pregnant with my fourth child and cannot wait to meet him/her. Good luck in your decision making!

If you want the third child go for it. As a mother of three and my littlest two are only 18 months apart, I can tell you that if you survived you adjustment to having a second baby, you will find the adjustment to baby number three to be easier. Yes, it is more expensive, however you shouldn't have the same difficulties that you had when your second baby was born. The adjustment had some difficulties, it takes longer to get out of the house, my lap can only hold so many, and there is the financial aspect. However I don't think that you would regret your decision to have a third. But you need to sit down and decide if you are ready to have another baby. But I would recommend waiting until your youngest is ready to be potty trained, because having two in diapers if very stressful, it felt like all I did for a year was change diapers.Hope this helps.

I know this is going to sound extremely old fashioned, but I am thinking how easy it was when I had my children. (Except the second, for which we waited 5 years, and were wondering if we would ever have more than one)

Because I was willing to take however many children I was lucky enough to receive, I never worried about it. HOw nice to just let nature take its course. AFter fearing I would only have one, I decided it was a whole lot better to have them come! :) I received (birthed and raised) four children who are 5 yrs apart, 17 months apart, and 25 months apart. I really empathize with families today....so many choices, it boggles my mind. My dad (who passed a few weeks ago) always said the more advanced we become, the more we complicate our lives. How true it is!

If you know you can love and nurture another child, I say go for it! I will never regret having the children I have, and sometimes wish there had been more, but I am thankful for the four I have. The hardest part was addressing other people who saw me as irresponsible for having more than two children. I love all my children, but I am really thankful for the youngest, since I was so much more relaxed with all the experience I had had, I believe we share a better relationship.

Blessings to you in whatever you decide!

M.- I am a mom of three and though the chaos is definately more I would not trade it for the world. It is a balancing act to give everyone the same amount of attention especially since I have 2 boys and one girl. She wants princesses and tea parties and baking, the boys want to run and jump in mud puddles. I have to admit though we are thinking of adding a fourth because once you go to three you already have the car and house space to accomodate another. Luckily I have twins that are almost 4 and a 17 month old so the age difference has helped some. the 4 year olds like to help take care of their brother. Good luck with your decision. I work too and am trying to figure out how I can stay home with my loves.