My SIL is getting weirder by the moment. This year she sent us a thank you note for her son's Christmas gifts. Is this normal/expected/courteous? I think it's weird.
We have ALWAYS spent Christmas together. We live close enough to spend all of the holidays together. There is nothing different about this year - we didn't buy extra gifts, spend a lot or go out of our way in some unusual manner. We have never sent thank you notes for Christmas presents, only birthdays. This struck me as so odd, I just had to ask what you think?
My rule of thumb (I refer to Emily Post for these sorts of things) is that if you open the gift with the person present, you can thank them verbally at the time. If the person is absent (like if they mailed the gift, or had to leave before it was opened) then you absolutely need to send a note. So if you were all together, a note is lovely, but not expected.
I make my son write thank you's every year. He must write thank you's for Christmas, birthdays and pretty much anytime he receives a gift. In my opinion it is the least he can do when someone spent their time and money to pick out something special for him. In his notes he typically writes two -three sentences. One is a thank you for the gift. The others are details about how he is using it or what he specifically likes about it. These are things he can't tell them at the time he opens the gift. I know many people feel that thank you's are a thing of the past but I think they are still a good polite thing for children to learn.
I find it a bid odd that you consider your SIL's gesture of gratitude to be a sign that she is getting weider. Perhaps she is just trying to be better about expressing her gratitude.
I did not always understand the importance and value of a proper Thank You, but now that I do, I am sure to send them as much as possible. This year I sent thank you cards for Christmas gifts for the first time in my life.
agree with Karen and Emily Post
Maybe she is trying to teach her son proper etiquette. I think, its great. My children always write thank you notes for all gifts they receive. my daughter is now teaching my grandchildren to do this. I would call and make a big deal about how much you appreciate it to the kids if she had them write them.
I don't think that's weird at all. I don't typically send thank you's when the person is present when opening the gifts, but I do on occasion and think it's great. I think more people should express their appreciation and gratitude in this way. It seems that the thank you card has become a thing of the past and everyone's just sending thanks by email or text message (or, just not sending one at all), which is too impersonal for my taste.
Personally, I think its rude to not send a thank you note. Christmas, birthday, valentines....whatever the holiday....a gift is a gift. I think your view on this is the wierd thing here.
I always make my 7 year old son write Thank You's, it teaches them to be thankful for what they receive. I don't send a TY for Christmas to family members, unless it was someone we don't normally see and they get them something. I beleive it is good for kids to acknowlwdge who they received gifts from. I do not write a TY for my 2 year old, I think they should be old enough to write and understand what and why they are writing.
If you open the gifts together and say thank you in person, you don't need to send a thank you note. For birthday parties we usually do because it's more of a confusing environment. For xmas, we don't, within the family.
Just ignore it - don't feel you have to reciprocate unless she mentions it or insists. It may be that her kids really are into writing thank yous and enjoy the whole process.
