Thank You Notes for Children's Birthday Presents?

We weren't allowed to play with the presents until the thank you notes were written. In the 1960's it was already a fading art.

If you're lucky today, you may get a phone call or some other acknowledgement of a gift. If my great-grandmother did not get a thank you for the smallest remembrance, you never got another thing from her again.

I say to send them. No child ever suffered from having to say thank you for anything, and learning to come up with creative reasons to be thankful for off-the-wall gifts has helped more than one person learn more about gratitude. Some times there isn't much more than the thought to appreciate.

I had that question years ago myself so I ended up buying Emily Post on etiquette) and according to that, the "right thing" is that if the present was opened in front of the person that gave it you are NOT suppossed to send any thank you notes. Hope that helps...

You sound exactly like me. I have a 2 1/2 year old and an almost 7 year old and I always send thank you notes for their birthday presents and I'm now getting the 7 year old to help with his. I rarely get them from other people either and have always wondered about that. My thought is that I will continue to do them because I think it is the right thing to do and maybe others will follow my example. If nothing else it shows gratitude which I think this generation is really lacking. My mother always made me do thank you notes growing up so I intend to have my children do them as well.

I send thank you notes, but I've noticed that it's taking me longer and longer to get them out now that I have four children so I have started doing something a little different. For my son's birthday I baught the jumbo 1 lb candy bars and removed the Hershey label and replaced it with a label I made on the computer with my son's pic on the front with balloons and streamers. On the back of the label it said, "Thank you for celebrating my birthday with me! Your frien, Joshua" I gave one to each child along with their goody bag at the end of the party. It was a big hit with both the kids and the parents. For my daughter's birthday I took a pic of her with each of the guests. During the party we made picture frames out of craft foam and put magnets on the back so they could hang them on the fridge at home. During the party I printed the pics and put them in the frames. On the back I wrote a thank you message from my daughter. Again, it was a big hit. And this has put an end to me trying to get thank you notes out a month after a party.

I have a 2 and 4 year old. At 2 they are old enough to color and put stickers on cards so I write a short note and say thanks and let the kids color and sticker up the cards. That way it is a piece of both of us saying thank you. My 4 year old can draw better so he will draw a picture of himself or the present. While they draw on the cards I explain that we are doing this to say thank you to aunt Vicki or your friend Caden for being so nice to buy you a present. I do go to the extent of even sending them at Christmas to the relatives that mail them presents.

This is a rare thing to write thank you notes as I never get any from any of the presents we give to friends but I feel my kids need to learn this now so they will continue on as they are older. And hopefully I'm teaching them to be greatful for what they receive.

Have you noticed nobody RSVP's for parties anymore? That really drives me crazy.

DOn't stop writing notes. that is what seperates you from the animals!!! I disagree with the emily post artical, I think you should ALWAYS give a thank you note for a gift.

I can tell people who have class they always remember to take a moment to write you a thank you note with in 1 week after the party. Don't worry if its not the norm any more. Not enough people do it but every one should. What is happening to this society where we think its ok to stop writing letters and thank you notes and give phone calls instead of emails? I always write thank you notes and feel its important to maintain personal contact with my friends and family.

We need to teach our daughters how to cook, clean, manage social functions and social ettiquite is important. I say this not to imply that its what women should do but because the world exists, in my oppinion, because of women and if women stop learning how to do these things they wont get done. As we all know, we can not count on men to do it. We would never have any social life at all if it were up to my husband. (he is a great, wonderful guy but he just does not pay attention to those things) so its up to us girls to keep the social ball rolling.

OH AND BY THE WAY, I wish people would RSVP to parties. I noticed that so many people have stopped doing that and I think that if one can take a moment to invite you to a party you can at least take a moment to let them know if you are comming or not.

A. J

I was just inspired to write this:

Don't be a dope, write your thank you notes.
When in doubt, send them out!
Even if late, sending notes is great!
If you have time to open the gift of a toy boat,
You have time to write a thank you note.
Getting presents from friends is nice,
So write your thank you notes, don't think twice!

Thank you very much, I'll be here all week....try the veal...

I know most people like to send Thank You notes, but I think they were originally intended only for those who you could not thank in person. People a long time ago couldn't come to a birthday party 30-40 miles away because it took too long to get there and they had to arrange hotels, or arrangements for staying overnight.

Nowadays I feel a Thank You note is good for those who have sent the present throught the mail and you cannot thank them in person. Or call them instead of sending a card.

Your child should be thanking the children/parents who bring their presents to the party in person so the Thank You cards are a little redundant.

I make sure to remind my children who gave them what whenever they are playing with them, and many times they will mention this to the gift-giver even months later saying how much they liked the gift.

Just my opinion and I know it differs from so many out there, but I feel you should see both sides of the story.

Becca

Some people may disagree with me, but I feel if you thank someone in person, especially at a kids birthday party, you don't need to send thank you notes. If someone sends you a gift, then that requires a note.

Some do and some don't. This year I took a group photo, scanned it and put it at the top of paper. I had my daughter tell me what she wanted to say, I typed it on the second half of the sheet and then she signed them. That way it gives a personal touch with the photo from the party that the kids can keep.

Gift - something given or offered with no expectation of return.
Don't feel pressure to do notes.....it was a gift! :)
(and in response to one of the statements below - If you only give a gift b/c you want a thank you card - then it's not for the right reason)
Besides, that's what goodie bags are for. That, and the fact that you just paid for that child to have fun, or you just had them in your home and probably 'gave' them many things.
Now - if they did not attend and sent you something - absolutely write a thank you b/c they weren't there for you to verbally tell them.

I used to send thank you notes all the time, but I find myself doing this much less lately. I figure, if the person is there to say "thank you" too, then there is no 'need' to send a thank you card. If I do need to thanks someone, then I do it by email if possible. I tend to really notice if someone says the simple words "thank you", so it has been a challenge for me to accept that some people don't use those words often...I have learned to purposfully over look this. Hope this helps!

M.,
I may be out of the loop here, however, I always thought the "goodie bag" was the hostess way of saying thank you and thank you notes were for gifts mailed, or when the person sending the gift is absent. There is so much pressure as a Mom to do everything proper, and just not enough hours in a day. Just the goodie bags alone can be burdensome. You know, I do the best that I can, and apologize to all Moms when I see them if I've not had a chance to send them out. It almost gets to a point where one might ask, "is it ever too late to send a thank you note?"

I always like an acknowledgement of some kind. If not, you have to wonder if the child even got the present or it was lost. My kids always acknowlege their gifts. A good rule a heard a few years ago was that the child could not play with the gift until a thank you note was written. Good Luck

Yes, we write them.

I love thatnk you notes. But you are right hardly anyone does this. I still do though. If i can find enough time to invite everyone to the party theni shoudl find enough time to thank everyone. Granted, sometimes the notes are late but i always send them. I think other people should too. I am out numbered on that but if it ever comes up casually i say so. I don't want to run off my friends.
Ps....something that i have done lately and everyone seems to love is a picture thatnk you. I find a group picture fromteh party or a picture of the bday girl. I make several copies and write my thank you on the back. Make a great keepsake as well.

YES! The sending of thank you notes should never die!! We too do not always receive them, but we ALWAYS send them. Keep up the good work!

Absolutely, write notes! At young ages, I wrote them; at ages 4-6, I wrote them and had my child sign their name. At 7-plus, they must write the notes...I tell them it's the priviledge they earned when they were honored with a gift. I also emphasize that this is a skill that will serve them well throughout their lives.
It always makes a lasting good (or bad) impression on me if we do, or do not, receive a thank you note.

Regardless of what others do should not impact what you do. God wants us to have a humble and grateful heart at all times.
If you are able to send out thank you notes, my opinion is that you should. My 7 year old writes her own, fostering her to have the same heart approach to life.
Blessings on you,
M

I write thank you notes for their birthdays. I don't usually receive them back either, but I think it is something that people don't do, but should. Just my opinion. I think it teaches your kids to be thankful and courtious. Either way though it's your decision and what you want to do.

We never did that as kids.

Hi M.,

My kids (ages 16, 9, and 4), always write thank you notes after their parties. Obviously I have to help the 4 year old, and sometimes the 9 year old too! I have to say though, that we have never received a thank you note for gifts we have given. My kids had a big issue with saying thank you for something they didn't like, because they didn't want to lie, so we told them to think of positive things they could say, like "purple is my favorite color, thank you", or "it must have taken a long time to find that ....., thank you. I don't get offended that we don't receive notes, I just think it's a little sad.

In my opinion, I think thank you notes should be written. I have a 2 and 4 year old. The 4 year old is the only one who has had parties so far, and I always send notes. I write the notes since he can't, but I read them to him so he understands that it is the "right thing to do" to thank someone for giving them a gift. I would say it is about 70/30, in favor of receiving thank you notes, from parties we go to for his friends. I heard a story on TV the other day that said kids who were taught to say thank you for things they receive - gifts, snacks, etc. turn out to be more self confident. I didn't hear the whole story, but it had to do with them learning to appreciate what they have and are given rather than expecting things in life. So I say...do the proper thing and write notes!

Hi M.,
We sometimes send thank you's. We have started to write or create thank you's on the computer and then attach them to the goody bags. My sons then pass them out and thanks each friend for coming. When we receive gifts without giving a gift back (goody bag) then we send a note in the mail.
I was not raised in this way, so I don't know the etiquet, but feel this is teaching my children to be thankful and polite.

Take Care,
W.

My daughter is 13. I wrote them for her until she was old enough to write her name and at that point, I had her sign them. As she got older, she would write the notes. I would write it on scratch paper and she would copy it. She now custom makes her own thank you notes with Hallmark card program on her laptop.

It is a priority here that you do not use anything you receive from anyone until a thank you note has been mailed. That is just the way I am. It is nice to hear that there are some moms out there that feel the same way. Thank you is a matter of respect, just like being on time.

She rarely receives thank you notes, I assumed it is the norm now but it will not be the "norm" at our house.

TF

My kids all write thank you notes for birthday and Christmas presents. When they are too young, I write it and have them sign their name. I usually include a picture from the party in the thank you note too.

I'm with you! I always take the time to write thank-you notes. I MAKe my teenage daughter and write one for my three year old son. And I never get any in return,except a very few from certain family members.(most times my family doesn't even send them) Its frustrating to me but I can only hope my children will learn from me and be appreciative to others. And realize it only takes moments to send off a thank-you note!!!

I still send thank you cards whether it is the norm or not. I think it is still the polite thing to do. It also teaches your children to be thankful and show appreciation. I would say that my daughter gets thank you notes from about 70% of the parties she goes to.

Children are too young to write thank you notes. Parents should write them... however; many times the children have gone through the presents without you watching every moment, and honestly or embarrassingly enough, you don't know who they're from. I have 3 and 4 year old little boys...last month, the 4 year old was inside unwrapping his brother's presents while almost everybody else was outside jumping in the bounce house and eating cake.

Hi M.:
If everyone chewed with their mouths open, would you let your child?
I know a lot of parents don't have their children write thank-you notes these days, but, you can take this opportunity to teach your children about thankfulness and gratitude. I have always written the notes (from their perspective) until my children are old enough to do it themselves. I actually do a hand tracing on the notes as a 'signature' when they are small, that the way child is included right from the beginning.
Here's another hint. If you really want to get into it, you can use a photo from your child's birthday party (I like the ones with cake all over their face) and have the cards made from them (Shutterfly can do this quite quickly). I go to friends homes and find the thank you cards stuck to the refrigerators, even a year later!
Hope this helps! It's a lot of work, but, I think in the long run you will be happy you've done it.

I think that Thank You notes are great! When my kids were too young to write the notes I would do it. Now my youngest can sign his name and my oldest can write the notes all by herself. In my opinion a thank you note is common courtesy and it teaches the kids to be thankful and appreciative. It is sad, but I think more and more parents are not taking the time to teach this simple "thank you" process to their kids.

If you want your children to learn good manners, now is the time to start. We have the ongoing discussion at my house as to whether it is okay to send a thank you note on line, and to date, I still require that my kids send actual notes, and it's funny, but they now "judge" their friends' manners on whether they take the time to write a note. We implemented a rule at our house that they could not use or play with a gift until they had written a thank you note for it. My kids are now 23, 21 and 16, and all are adept at writing a personal note. It is simply a good life skill to have.

i've always sent thank you cards for my now 3 yo daughter (also named M.!). she started to write her name last summer so for family members she'll draw a picture and sign her name in addition to the thank you card. i get so irritated when i go to parties and the "goodie bag" on the way out is the only thanks you get. i don't really remember writing many thank you's as a child but my stepmom always made us as we got a little older and i'm glad now she did.

My 7 yr old son writes his own thank you cards and he has done this for 2 years. Before that I would fill them out and have him decorate the card for an added touch.

Yes, my daughter just had her 1st bday and I wrote her ty notes (though I had her draw on them with a pen so she could participate). I write them for Christmas too, or any other thoughtful gift or act someone does for my family or I. My husband says it's a waste of time and money and I should send an email, but I personally believe it is very important to teach and show gratitude and a 3 second email just doesn't cut it for me. NO ONE else in my family does this and I don't expect it from them, though it really would be nice. It is sad how ungrateful children are TAUGHT to be.

I write thank you notes for my daughter's birthday presents. I don't write them for gifts sent from relatives far away at Christmas. I should though. I always resolve to, but in the rush of the holidays forget. My Mom always taught me that you should write a thank you note especially if you didn't thank the giver personally or they sent a gift and might not know you received it.

We do write (or color) thank you notes for Birthday Presents. We do the same for any gift at any time or any nice thing someone does for us, like handing down toys and clothes to us or babysitting for us for free. I write the note saying, "Thank you for the clothes! I look so pretty when I wear them." or "Thank you for playing with me! You really helped my mommy and made her smile."

My daughter would color the note (everywhere except for where the words are). Now that she's older, I'll usually ask her what to say and I'll write it down for her. (The things she says are always so cute!) I have her write her name on the note and everyone loves them.

The only time we don't write thank you notes is for Christmas presents from family or from friends that we exchanged with. (Christmas is too stressful already in my opinion!) If we receive an unexpected gift and we did not reciprocate with a gift of our own, we do write a thank you note for that.

For your little one, you can buy (or make) the cards that have blanks in them like, "THANK YOU FOR THE __________. I really like it! Love, _________________". Quick and easy and everyone loves them too!

Hope this helps,

K.

Hey M...I definitely DO write notes. I usually write out the thank you & a little note & have my 5yr old sign his name somewhere on the note! I'm originally from the East Coast & have noticed that a lot of things are different down here.
I always think thank you's are a good idea..they also will grow up w/the sence of it's importance! It's always thoughtful! You can even let your child pick them out!
Good luck!

I have an 8 yr old and two 5 year olds. Like you, I do not recieve many Thank You cards, but I do recieve some. The rule in our house is that you can not play with any toys until your Thank you cards have been writen. When they were too little to write, I wrote for them. When they learned to write their names, they began to sign each card only. As they got a little older, I would write out a sample Thank You and they would copy it and fill in the blanks. Last year my oldest daughter had a sample to follow, but she had to come up with the last sentence. I will require them to do more each year until they are doing it on their own. I also take a picture of my children with each gift and a picture of the friend at the party and return those photos with the Thank You card. The kids and parents not only appreciate the card, but love the pictures. I know it is easy not to do them, but it is the way I was raised and I believe it is the right thing to do.

This has been a source of guilt for me as I have not done this consistently with my 5 year old. The problem is we do such large scale things - inviting the whole class- I couldn't keep track of everything if I wanted to. I also think the bar has been raised and by the time the host child has given out goodie bags, entertained for a few hours and fed the crew - it seems like a fair trade off. Yes we have lost the niceties and it drives me crazy but then, we don't have very personalized events anymore where the parents know each other as well as the kids.
I have decided to cut it down the middle and have my child "write" thank yous to family and close friends. That way he develops the habit with people he needs to keep it up with for a long time. J.

My 4 yr old sends a thank you card for EVERY gift that she gets. She even sends a a thank you note to Granny and Pawpaw when she goes to stay with them. Right now she doesn't "write" the note, but she does sign her name, seal the card, put the stamp on it, and put it in the mailbox.

I have a 3 year old and a 5 year old who have each had a party for every birthday. I bought and signed the cards for the first two years. My 5 year old made his own cards for ages 3 and 4. Last year (for ages 3 and 5) I took a picture of all guests and birthday boy, created a thank you card at Wal-Mart and had the boys sign and decorate it. They loved it and so did the recepients. And I think it's just rude not to send a thank you card.

I usually write them for my kids but if someone else doesn't I don't worry about it. Everyone doesn't know the proper etiquette for receiving gifts.

My daughters are now 13 and almost 17 and we have always written notes. In the beginning it was like a journal entry-What Loren said about her new presents at her Party! Later the girls wrote their own notes. Still gripes me when I don't get thank you notes for Graduation, Baby or Bridal gifts and the mom's of adult children make excuses on their behalf. L. B (Work from home mom)

Hello,

I think it is a good idea to always write thank you notes. My oldest just turned 5, so he usually only writes the receipient's name and then signs his name. If he wrote the whole card, that would take all day. :) I would keep writing them.. maybe it will make the mom's not writing them think about it.

My little ones are below the age of 2, and I always ALWAYS make it a point to write thank you notes on their behalf. Not only is it an exercise in grace and good manners, it teaches them to be thankful and to take time to express their thanks in writing.

Haha, I find it quite amusing that everyone here says they send them and hardly anyone gets them. I wonder if that is because Mamasource moms are the kind of people who are more apt to write! Anyway, yes I do send them. I get the preprinted ones and help my son to write his name on them. Then I write a quick note on the back myself. He is only 2, but as soon as he is able, I will encourage/require him to write notes himself. I have received thank you notes from all of his friend's that we have given gifts to also - always from the moms. Some of them have taken a long time, so your ones may still be on the way. In fact we just got a thank you last week for a gift we gave in early February. You know how busy moms can be!

If I feel like my kids have not expressed their thanks enough at the party, then we will send a thank you card but not usually do we do it. We had a b-day party at Chuck E Cheese and it was really loud for anyone to hear my 4 year old so we gave cards this year. It was a printed card that I had her color and sign her name. The gesture is nice but honestly I don't expect them from anyone else for birthday parties.

My son just turned 3. I have written thank you notes for every Christmas and birthday. I just wrote 20 for his 3rd birthday. It's a pain, but I feel guilty getting them out "late" so I know I couldn't deal with the guilt of not sending any at all. He has a lot of friends and it's rare that we don't receive thank you notes from them. In my experience it's still pretty common to send them.

Our rule was "if the person is present" you thank them in person and "if the person was absent, but sent a gift" you write a thank you note. However, I have a friend who wrote or had her child write a thank you note for every gift. I think it is something that needs to continue to teach children good manners and thankfulness. There were times that my children procrastinated about writing the notes (for Christmas gifts as well as brithday gifts) and I would tell them they could not use that gift until they had written the note. That help motivate them.

Even though we don't receive many thank you notes from other kids, I still make my kids send them. It teaches them to be thankful and it's great writing practice! I have 4 kids ages 4,5,6,and oldest just turned 8. The older ones write the note and the younger ones just sign their name. They usually write the note before they play with the gift - helps them remeber who it's from and it simplifies the task of sitting down to do it all at once. Plus I remind them how fun it is to get notes from their friends. Just a thought!
Hope this helps!

We write thank you notes for any kind of gift and rarely get any. However, I think it is very important to teach my kids that we are to be grateful for what we have been given regardless of what others do because it is the right thing to do. Our world would be such a better place if more people would do things just because they were the right thing to do.

We have always written thank you notes. I guess I don't really care what the norm is (we have never actually received a thank you note). I just want my daughter to have good manners :)

I wrote them when she was too young to write, but now, she writes them.

I write the notes for my kids. (2 and 9 months) I let my 2 year old color on them so that she had part of in it. I still think that it is just polite to say thank you even if everyone else does not do it.

Wow! This was a real eye opener. Everyone I know does thank you notes so far. When my boys are old enough, I will expect them to do the same. Great topic!

Hi M.,

I have a four year old daughter and we always write thank you notes. We have always received thank you notes for parties we have attended as well.

I'm not sure what the "norm" is but I have always made sure I/we send out thank you notes. I think it's not only proper etiquette but excellent manners!
M.

Hi M....I agree with the other Moms...keep doing it, maybe we'll get others to start doing it again! :o) Here's a tip - I print a picture out of my bday girl and their friend and write a thank you note on the back of that. It's a memory and thank you in one.

Have a good one!
T.

Hi M.,
I have twin girls who are 2 1/2 years old. We write thank you notes for Birthday gifts. What I did to take some of the stress off is I custom made them with fill in the blank type sayings and their names already pre-printed on them.
I also leave a few blank lines for a personal message. I send these by mail.

I don't usually receive any thank you's for gifts sent out, but I don't feel right if I don't send them myself. I think it's good for the girls to recognize what they receive and acknowledge the gift giver. To echo what some of the other moms have said, it may not be the norm to send them anymore, but it is at our house.

I always do them for my kids - my 2 year old will color on them and then I'll write a little note. I find it rare too - I just figured it was our family!! I think writing notes (other than email) is going out of style. I've been to two weddings in the last two years and neither of them sent thank yous out.

It is good to remind them how nice people were to give them gifts, but until they are old enough to write, I haven't heard of thank you notes from two and three year old parties.

When I was growing up, writing a thank you note for a gift was just the "right thing to do." We had out sons write thanks you notes also. If we fail to teach our children and grandchildren the basics of manners and human relationships, we should not be surprised when, in the future, young adults are rude and treat everyone badly.

Up unil my daughter was in 2nd grade, I pre printed (or bought pre printed) thank you notes that said "Dear ________, Thank you so much for the _________. Love, ______________"

And I had her fill in the blanks. When she got in 2nd grade, she was able to write the notes from scratch. I'm pretty sure we've gotten notes from the parties she's gone to as well, so I don't know what to tell you other than keep up the social graces b/c not many do it anymore!

Hi M..

I think for children's birthday parties, it is the norm. Our girls don't receive them either and I don't ask my kids to write them to their friends. But I do insist that they thank the birthday child's parents before they leave the party and they do write thank yous for gifts from parents, godparents, and other assorted relatives for their own birthday and Xmas gifts. I think it's lovely that you've extended that to your children's friends. We can all use more politeness!

B

Yes - I insist that my son write his own thank-you notes for all of his birthday presents- absolutely! That is the way I was raised that is the way my son will be raised. And I've noticed that we rarely receive thank you's from his friends. In spite of that, I'll still make him write thank yous!

This is one of my biggest pet peeves. It irks me when parents don't teach their kids how to say "Thank You." It really is a simple thing to do. As you can probably tell, I am a huge believer in Thank You notes, and as long as I am around, my kids will write them.

My kids have always done thank-you notes. I wrote them when they were smaller and they could help decorate them. We've also used the fill-in-the blank and when they were older they liked to use Microsoft Publisher or Hallmark software to make them personal. Now that my daughter is older she likes to make the cards with scrapbook materials. We've also included photos-of the guests or of the gifts as they were opened.

One thing I've noticed is the kids don't complain about writing them. They may procrastinate a bit, but they always get done. We usually receive thank-yous from their friends, and they always got them from their teachers for various gifts. They know how it feels to receive them, so they don't mind writing them.

By instiling this habit early, it will become second-nature as they get older. And it's appropriate for other things too, like school and job interviews. I was once told that I got a job because I was the only one to write a thank-you note after a job interview!

I too write thank you notes, and now my 8 year old writes her own. I find that almost no one does anymore, but I like being different and teaching my kids to be grateful is one of the most important things we can do! Lord knows we do not have enough gracious and grateful people in this world! Keep up the great work, you are modeling how you want them to be when they grow up. S., Mom to two wild kiddos 8 and 4 :-D

Hi~
This is definitley a lost skill. I myself have 3 girls ages 10, 8 and 3. I am going to try harder to bring this back, as I have not written or had the girls write thank you cards in a long time. It is really sad that this is the norm now. I knew someone who would not let her child play with the toy until a thank you card was written for it. Yeah for her, I think! I had the idea to take a picture of the birthday girl playing with the toy she received and send that as a thank you...Again, just an idea that has not become reality yet. I think for a younger child I would write the card and have them participate in doing so. Well, I'm glad you brought this up...maybe it will encourage others to start the tradition again!

Its not petty or judgmental to expect a thank you note at all times and on any occasion. Its tacky and unappreciative when you don't respond with a thank you note even in the case of children's birthday parties. Its the responsibility of the parent(s) to make sure the gift is acknowledged, and always the correct thing to do.

Yes, we always had our girls write thank you notes for any presents they received -- even from each other and especially grandparents. When they were little, of course, we helped with the words but they drew pictures and "signed" them. They are some very precious mementos of their youth now that they are grown.
You may not get them in return, but that doesn't negate the responsibility of expressing our gratitude for what others do for us.

M. my little girl is 5. I have sent out thank-you cards for everyone of her b-days. I write them and this past b-day had her sign her name to them. But in saying that... I, like you, haven't gotten a thank-you card from any of the b-day parties she has attended. I think the "times are a changin". You should do whatever you feel comfortable with. I'm not sure if there is a "norm" anymore. Good Luck!

YES. Thank you notes are a dying art...folks aren't appreciative enough. I know at Weir's and other places (just for sure Weirs as of late) have cute pre-written ones for kids to fill in the blanks. It is a good way to let the kids start doing it on their own. Most of the time they say, "Dear __________, Thank you so much for ______________________. bla bla bla, Love, ___________". At first I thought that odd and not personal at all, but then I came to the conclusion it is pretty genius!
Don't let the "norms" of others stop you from being socially adept!!! :0)
On the other side, I have received several thank you notes from almost every single birthday party my son has gone to.
So not all folks are too lazy!! :0) There is hope!!!

Hi M.,

I have my 7 & 9 year olds write thank you notes. I just think it is the polite thing to do. I know a lot don't think so. Keep doing what you're doing and maybe they will catch on. That's my thought, anyway! :~)

T.

M.,

As old fashioned as it is these days, I have always done thank you notes. My oldest is 11 and she does her own and my youngest is 3 and I write hers and let her "sign" them. It teaches the appreciation and an awareness of who bought them what. B/C let's face it, with all that our children get, they forget who gave it to them b/c of all the excitement of the day. You're doing the right thing by having them learn how to be appreciative adults.

M.

I have two children and have always had them write thank you notes for both birthdays and Christmas. I think that it is a lost art in our culture and that makes it even more special and appreciated. There are a notes where they can just fill inthe blank with the To, From, and gift. This is easier if they are small. I dont think that it is the norm anymore, unfortunately, but I think for that reason it is even that more "great"!

I too have experienced the no Thank You notes and I think it's deplorable! I know everyone is busy and writing Thank You notes seems like a pain. It's just proper etiquette and I can't imagine where this part of growing up has gone! Here are a few ideas that I have seen at parties that make it easier: 1) have all of the parents write their addresses on the envelope at the party so that part is over with! 2) I have included photographs of the gifts given in the Thank You notes as well, it's a sweet personal touch! 3) Have someone at the party write who the gift is for - just like a shower, it makes it easier to match cards with gifts when the chaotic mess occurs! 4) I have also written what the gift was on the gift receipt and who it was from just as a reminder!

Even though I am thankful for the presents my children receive from others and intend on sending everyone a thank you note I never end up getting it done. I at least miss one of the steps involved! I have asked my older children to send thank you notes but only on rare occasions does it get done, a phone call works well. I have found that sending letters or pictures to friends and relatives “just because” works better for me, I like to add a P.S. to explain we enjoyed their gift and appreciate the thought involved…

My son, whose 11 now, always sends a thank you note. When he was younger, I wrote them. When his writing became legible, I ask him to write them. I have to ask more than once! What's right for them is not right for you obviously, or you wouldn't be questioning it...and it's always nice to get a personal, handwritten note, isn't it? I always open the hand addressed envelopes first.

I believe that having my child write thank you notes for all gifts that she recieves is a great way of expressing her gratitude. It is a great part of manners that over the years has been forgotten by so many. My daughter started writing thank you notes at an early age with so many being simple cards that you fill in the blanks as to what the gift recieved was and sign name. You can get these at Party City. As she is getting older (8) she writes them herself and is a great way to learn handwriting and grammar skills. Once she was little and we were invited to an outing with another family and I wrote a thank you note for a wonderful time-the mother sent me a thank you note for the thank you note and said that it meant so much that I took the time to write such. So there you go - have your child continue writing thank you notes.

I'm the mother of four (ages 2-7) and they all write thank you notes for every birthday and Christmas present (and my husband and I do for ours as well!). I write them for the smaller ones, but they "sign" their name, and the older boys write their own now (albeit with much moaning and groaning!). Most of our friends make their kids write thank yous as well.

YES!!My daughter has been "writing" her own thank you notes since she was able to scribble with a crayon. I would add the words either on the same page or seperate. It is so important to instill this basic etiquette into our kids. I grew up writing thank you notes and still do. I think that many people really do appreciate a letter especially in the days of email and text messaging.

We try to do thank you notes but sometimes its not always the easiest!
It is a good lesson for the kids to learn how to be courteous

We have instilled thank you notes in my son from a very young age. It is the first thing he does the day after he receives his gift. He needs to understand that if people take the time to go out and pick something out and purchase it for him, the least he can do is write out a card. When he was small, I wrote the note and he "signed" the cards. :)

I do write thank you's. I write them and have my child sign their name. My oldest (10) writes her own. I think it's a nice gesture. I want people to know that we appreciate people taking time out of their busy lives come to our party, and also for the gift. I know being a mom of 3 that it's hard to fit parties in some time. I will say that sometimes it takes us awhile to get them out, but we eventually get around to it.

Everyone has given you good advice and it is true that it is gracious to send a thank you note by post. However, if the gift giver is a close friend and you and your child are able to thank them in person then the verbal acknowledgment will often suffice. Gift givers who give with a true spirit of generosity are not looking for a "thank you." In fact, I often insist that no thank you note is required. It's like adding an additional five minutes of free time to your gift! But remember, a thank you note is an acknoledgement so if you receive a gift and are not able to give a verbal thank you then you should send a note so that the gift giver knows that you received it.

Hi M.!
I'm not sure how other people were raised but I was raised to write thank you notes for any gifts I receive, and the same goes for my children. I too have noticed a decrease in the thank you notes we receive, but that has me driven to write even more. So, my advice is to do what you think is right, and perhaps we can teach others what our parents taught us.

I know you've received tons of responses, but my daughter has always done thank you notes and my son turned one in January and I had pre-printed fill-in-the-blank thank you's that I sent for him. They make Thank You cards that match your invitations so no, sending thank you's are not completely gone! I do understand that other parents may not have the time/take the time to do them so it doesn't bother me when they don't send one back. It just makes the times when my daughter does get one that means a lot to her. :) Kudos to you for teaching etiquette. After teaching in a school for 3 years, I can tell you manners aren't taught like they used to be!

Most people just thank verbally. I used to put thank you notes in all of the goody bags. Now, with four kids.....they are lucky to get goody bags. lol I'm so lazy now I throw a bowl of candy out in the middle of all the kids and hand them a ziploc. I still get thank you's from people with one or two kids, but normally no. Me, well, the thank you's are no longer and so is sending a pic every six months to any family member I can think of.
If you want to send out thank you's you should. In my experience (kids 9, 5, 4, 1) most people don't. I don't and it isn't that I'm rude or ungrateful, just tired.

I always have my children write thank you notes - always. Before they could write, I would write it for them and they would draw a picture or something. I think it is important for them to learn to express their appreciation. I hope that it will influence others to write Thank you notes. It has become a lost curtesy in our society.

By the way, I feel the same as you when we don't receive Thank you notes. It has come to a point where we don't give gifts to those who can't take the time to say Thank you.

I always send thank you notes for my son's birthday presents. I receive thank you notes from most of his friends too.

I have always wondered about this as well. I write TYs cards for my kids (3yo & 18mos) for gifts they receive on birthdays & special holidays. My husband insists that you don't have to send them for Christmas if the giver is present when you open it. Otherwise, send TY notes to far off senders. Since my kids are so small, I like to take a pic of my child with the gift or while they are opening it and I will print it out on a TY card and then type in the thank you message. I don't think that anyone actully thinks my kids wrote the cards but I know that the giver appreciates seeing my kids enjoy the present. I hope this helps!

Hi M.,

I'm a Grammie, but I do know that my daughter, a mother of a 3 yr old, always writes thank-you's that look like they come from her son. She started out having them especially made, but he just had a birthday and I think she got them from Target...they were really cute. She even had address labels made with his name!!! LOL!

I think it NEVER hurts to thank the people that have gone to the trouble of getting a gift, a good life lesson! Now doesn't that sound just like a Grammie??? :)

D. G.

I have found unfortunately that thank you notes are no longer the norm, however; it is a practice I choose to instill in my daughter. My advice to you is that you send them if it is important to you. I have found that those that have "slipped" as far as this area of manners is concerned get "back on the wagon" so to speak and really appreciate the hand written note from me. My daughter is 2 and we just had a party for her family and just a couple of really close friends. Notes were in the mail on Monday. I even went so far as to tell her what I was doing when I was writing them. I hope this helps and keep writing those notes it is very important!

My daughter just turned 7 & this is the first year that she has written thank you notes to everyone. I gave her some thank you notes that I bought at the Dollar store and she is writing her own notes in there. She was actually excited to do this and I know it means alot to the grandparents & aunts/uncles.

Yes, my daughter writes thank you notes whenever she receives gifts (not just on her birthday). This is a courtesy my mother instilled in me when I was growing up. I wrote the thank you notes until my daughter was old enough. I agree with you. She RARELY receives a thank you note from other children. It sure seems to be the norm that thank you notes are not sent. To me, it is important to show gratitude and have manners.
K. N.

Hmmmm . . . very strange that you haven't received thank you notes. My almost 9 year-old always receives them for the parties she's attended, and we've always sent out thank you notes from her (she started writing them herself last year). I think it's proper to write a thank you note so even though your child hasn't received any, let him/her set the standard by sending them!

M.:
Ssaying Thank You for anything is rare nowadays. People have such entitlement mentalities that they expect you to celebrate their milestones, but show little to no gratitude for your efforts. I think Thank You notes are a matter of class. You being the classy mommy that you are, I would have my kiddo write them if they are able or do it myself if they are toddlers. You are a class act!

Love and blessings,
N.

I have 3 kids, ages 12, 9 & 6. We have always, myself included, handwritten thank you notes with the receipt of every gift, birthday, Christmas, Christening, etc. I realized a couple of years ago, after my middle son's 7th birthday right at the end of the school year (we immediately left for the month and we did not get to them until our return), that not writing the notes right away weighed heavily on my mind until they were done.
I wrote the notes and had them "sign" their name until about 4 yrs. I have the insert type of thank you notes for the young ones and make a list including name and gift for them to follow and mark as they do them. By about 3rd grade, they write the note on their stationary in long hand.
We don't always get them in return, but I've found that I feel much better once I've sent ours out.

I want to know all the people that responded to this post, lol! They seem to be the ones that still write thank-you notes. Where are all these well-brought-up people? I want them in my neighborhood.

I write thank you notes for my son because he can't write them himself yet. I involve him and helped him sign his own name until he was able to write it himself. I also have him put the stamps on and we put the envelopes into the mailbox together. Also, I do have one friend that still sends thank you notes for her son as well.

You can buy preprinted thank you notecards where the child just fills in the blanks & signs his/her name. I've seen these at Party Warehouse on Camp Bowie. Before my son was able to do this, I wrote thank you notes on his stationary.

I have a 2 1/2 yr old son and I've decided to do thank you notes from him, until he is old enough to do his own; I think etiquette and manners are very important to teach our children.

YES! I firmly believe in manners and in writing thank you notes. My son has JUST learned to write and he will be writing his own thank you notes for his bday party this year. A good friend of mine actually has her son draw a picture and write a general thank you note which she then prints on the computer and he personalizes he one. I love this idea because everyone then gets to see his artwork.

Like you, we rarely receive thank you notes in return. But, manners are manners. I can't help it if everyone else is rude - but we are going to mind our manners and send thank you notes!

It's still proper etiquette to send thank you notes, so I would suggest you keep doing it if it's important to you. Maybe you will influence the other moms to do the same! :)

I have always written the thank you notes for my son and when he started learning to write his name(he is 5 1/2 now) I have had him sign his name. I think it is important for us to teach our children proper etiquette from an early age. All of our friends do this as well so I think it is pretty common.

I have always sent Thank you cards for gifts. Now that my girls are older, they do it. I still do the boys cards and have them sign them because they are still young. We always send a thank you for coming and for the gift, always.