Temper Tantrums - New Windsor,NY

Your daughter is frustrated. Get the book Supernanny by Jo Frost, amazing advice. Then when she throws herself around walk away from her. If she throws herself on the floor when she doesnt get the fruit snack she demands just walk away to another room. of she follows you walk away again. When she settles down (and she will) tell her you cannot talk to her when she screams like that. You need to nip this now or you will have a terror of a child. Time outs and all that jazz are needed too. Definately check out that book. You donthave too listen or do anything she offers, but she makes a whole lot of sense and my toddler is truly an amazing little girl thanks to some of the tactics I learned. Also make sure she is not tired, hungry and getting all the attention that is possible since the 5 month old was born, she went from center of attention to secondary to baby. To her that is the end of the world. Be sensitive to that trauma.

Hi S.,

The tantrum stage is a tough one. Good for you laughing on the inside. It's important that you can keep your cool while your child can't.
At one point my son was having really bad tantrums. Whenever he would burst I would take him to our couch and gently hold him. I'd just hug him until he gained control of himelf. He's such a mover that it wouldn't take long for him to settle right down. He knew that was the only way he could get down. Another thing I did was immediately started whispering to him. It forced him to be quiet so he could hear what I was saying. That worked wonders!
If you want to have your daughter in an environment where she will learn to play well with other children her age I second the idea of joining your local MOPS program.
One last thing...I love the book Creative Corrections by Lisa Whelchel (http://www.creativecorrection.com/) It has given me so many different and creative(go figure!) ideas on how to handle difficult situations.
best of luck

Oh my... I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Been there, done that.

I will tell you a little story about my grandpa. When my brother was little he threw tantrums all of the time. He usually went behind a chair, and kicked and screamed.
One day Grandpa got tired of it, so HE went behind the chair, threw himself on the floor and started screaming and kicking with my brother.
This shocked my brother so much that he stopped!

I also did this to my son once and he really changed his way of doing things afterward.

Now, I am not saying that this will work for everyone, but ya never know. Sometimes when a kid sees how funny an adult looks doing it, it shocks them and they quit.

As for going to the neighbor's home, I would put an end to it completely and I would let the other mother know why. There is no reason your daughter should be hit and screamed at by another child. She could be picking up on some behaviors from the neighbor child.
If you are concerned that she isn't making friends then maybe see if your local library has story time you can take her to. (She is too young for preschool, in my opinion.... she's still just a baby, preschool is for age 4 at the youngest as far as I am concerned)
Also, you could see if you have a local MOPS program... here is their website: http://www.mops.org/index.php?srctype=menu

They are a support group for moms and kids.

Good luck!

http://www.meetup.com/topics/

You should join a playgroup ( see link above)

If there isn't one in your area or near you you can always start one of your own,

Basically other moms with kids get together and schedule fun activities for the kids in the area.I LOVE it, keeps my little guys happy and busy,

I would stop allowing her to play with the neighbors kid.

before she throws the tantrum you warn her she has 3 minutes of play time left, that after 3 minutes play will stop
( or whatever activity)

if she is hitting you say NO HITTING or you'll go to bed.
no screaming or you'll go to bed
( whatever the offense is)

then after one minute you say you have 2 minutes left,
then after one more minute ONE minute left
and finally you say its time to stop.

When your daughter thows a tantrum, simply pick her up and put her in her bed or crib, and leave the room.

If she gets out of bed, pick her up and put her back in there.

do this until she stays.

set and egg timer for 2 and a half minutes,when the alarm goes off, go into her room and say, ( daughter) Your in your had a time out because you were misbehaving, you hit, and you didn't listen, ( Whatever the reason for her punishment)
tell her to say she is sorry and then after she says it, kiss her, hug her and let her play.

When out of the house a stroller or car seat work as a portable alternative strap them in tell them why they are in time out, and then walk away ( she can scream her head off all she wants) but after 2.5 minutes hopefully she is calmed down. you return to her room, and say are you ready to listen?
You are in time out because you didn't listen.or hit or whatever-- YOu cannot hit because hitting hurts, when you don't listen you hurt my feelings, you have to follow the rules ( just a short to the point reason as to why this occured not a long lecture an WHY she cannot do this)

good luck S.

M