Temper Tantrums - Jacksboro,TN

This months parenting magazine has advice on discipling toddlers and asks this very question. Their advice was to try making animal sounds ( such as mooing, meowing, or barking) at the child and this supposedly redirects their attention from what they are upset about. Now my son in only 15 months and already is starting to throw tantrums. It does seem to work for him, mostly because he seems confused at what Im doing and looks at me as if I am crazy. But he stops. I do agree that walking away works, but if you are out in public that does not always work, so try making animal noises, maybe it will make her laugh instead.

When my son did that I asked the dr about it. He said that was normal that they are 'feeling you out' to see what they could get away with. He told me that when they do it, ignore it and when they did something good, reward or praise them. I ignored it alot at home. At home, I could walk off and do something else and let him pitch his own fit in the room alone. I thought I would pull my hair out until one day my son did that at Walmart and I was so embarrassed and mad, I was shaking. I totally ignored it. Luckily I saw a friend of mine there and told her to talk to me for a minute till he quit pitching his fit. I turned my back to him and nearly cried to my friend while he was pitching this fit. We pretended to talk and to look at stuff on the shelf and totally ignored him. We even walked off far enough to get away but not far enough that I couldn't keep an eye out for him. (I sure didn't worry about anyone kidnapping him while he was acting like that.) It was the longest 5 or 10 minutes I have ever spent in my life. He soon quit and got up and never did it again, not at home or in the store. I guess he figured out that he was not going to get anywhere with me acting like that and never tried it again.
M.

What has worked for me in the past is to figure out the cause of the tantrum first, and then act accordingly.
If you think it's because she wants attention, then igore the tantrum, and praise her and talk to her when she's being good. Sometimes it helps to place the child in a safe corner or spot to work it out (kind-of a time-out, but a little different).
If it is because she's frustrated, then igoring it isn't going to work. Try to talk it out with her. Say "Wow that is really hard to do, but you are doing a great job trying! Can I help you?".
If it is because she wants something she can't have, then calmly explain why she can't have it first. Then ignore the rest of the tantrum, and place her in the safe spot, if needed.
I only punished my daughter at that age when she did something wrong, not for the tantrum itself. They are just starting to talk and to try to work out their frustrations, and they can't help that. When I knew she was having a tantrum to manipulate me (she was 3), then I punished her for it. The tantrums went away quickly at that time.
I had some really terrible twos with my first daughter. My pediatrician gave me some good advice. He said I had to really try to set aside some time alone with her where I was COMPLETELY focused on what she was doing (it is harder than it sounds, since I usually multi-task without knowing it!). I noticed that she did get a lot better, but it did take time.
Good luck! Remember that you are doing a great job, and that you just need to be calm, firm, and loving. This phase will pass before you know it!!

My son is going through this right now. The best thing I have found is by ignoring because he is not getting the attention that he is trying to get by throwing the tantrum. He doesn't do it as often now because he knows that I will not respond negative or positive.

The best responce is to walk away, break off all interaction. What ever it takes for you to make it clear that there is no way you will even look at her when she is acting that way. My son is now seven but he could throw the most spetacular tantrum, acadamy award winning, but that phase only lasted about two weeks. Good luck you can do it.

My son started throwing tantrums around 2yrs. Ignoring him did not work. He would make an even bigger spectical of himself to get my attention. So we implemented the nauty chair at home. It took a few weeks but he got the picture fast. Mommy was not putting up with his temper and the chair was not a fun place to sit for a few minutes. He would get up several times the first couple of times we implemented the nauty chair but I was consistent in my actions. If we see any signs of a tantrum now, we just mention the nauty chair and he corrects himself and tries to alter our attention to something different. He is now 3yrs and 8mths. We do not have tantrums to the extreme as we started.

ignoring it worked for me. My daughter threw such a terrible tantrum one afternoon I was in tears wondering what in the world, as a mother, I had done wrong. I ignored the tantrum and put her in timeout. I had picked her up from parent's day out and on the entire drive home she pitched one heck of a fit. It took all I had to ignore the behavior, but I gave her no attention. Once we got home I put her in her room with some kleenex and told her she had to stay there until she calmed down and until I felt we could talk about it. A while later we were able to sit down and try to talk about the situation...needless to say, she never acted like that again. But I do believe it was aggravation in not knowing how to express herself or communicate.

good luck

J.,

My son is almost 2 and I've found that putting him in the corner has really helped. I only leave him there for about a minute or until he stops crying, but it really works. She might not want to stay there at first but if you make sure to put her back and make her stay, she'll understand you mean business after a short time. The other thing is that I always make him apologize and hug me when I let him out. It's really cute when he says "surry". I talk to him again about what he did wrong and say not to do it again and he knods his head and says "K". My other son is 8 and it has actually helped so much with him too. I make him stay for 8 minutes though. I've always heard that it is sopposed to be a minute per year of age. It's such a relief to me to not have to think of different punishments all the time or argue about things. I just say set your timer on the microwave and get in the corner. He has to stand facing the wall, with his hands to his side until the timer goes off. I just started this about 2 months ago and life is so much easier and the kids are so much more behaved. Good luck.

J., I have worked with young children for 8 years. This is a very common questions from parents, the best answer is to let them throw their tantrums, as long as they are in a safe place where they can't hurt themself. Any attention to the tantrum, whether positive or negative is still attention. Meaning that an action that gets attention will be an action that is repeated. Ignore it. When the tantrum is over you can discuss it. Take her feelings seriously, but let her know that the tantrums will get her nowhere. Hope this helps. P.

My grandbaby did the same thing when she was two. We were at the doctor's office one day and she did it again. The doctor said that she would show us how to handle this. She closed the door and left her in the room by herself. Cheyenne pitched a fit and hit her head on the hard floor and then cried and wanted her grandma. After she was quiet, the doctor opened the door.