Television Watching and Small Children

I have to say I'm in the same boat. And it's always good kids shows like pbs kids or something, and we do a lot of other great stuff too. I may be rationalizing, but I think as long as it doesn't take the place of other great activities it's okay. Sometimes it's just plain necessary so mom can get something done (cook) and it keeps them out of mishcheif.

I would say you are balancing it out well. My tv is usually on all day. We aren't always watching it but I need the background noise. We sit and play and when Dora or Deigo comes on she plays with them, while I get a little cleaning done. Or we will watch together and talk about what we are watching... My daughter has speech delay so anything that gets her talking is good stimulation and she has begun talking to the characters on the tv, so we sit and play the games with them.

I don't know about anyone else but Noggin & Sprout was all I watched for the first 18mths of my daughters life. I know "they" tell you all these things of what you shouldn't let your kids do but the truth is you have to do what works best for you & your kids do many other things besides watch tv, so I wouldn't really worry to much if I was you. My daughter turned 3yrs old in December & she knows all her colors, can count to 20, knows all her shapes, all her ABC's (she can say & recognize them) she even tries to write a few of them now & she learned all this not just from us but with the help of educational tv programs. I know I watched ALOT of tv as a kid & I think I turned out fine. I'm not knocking anyone if they think kids shouldn't watch tv, but I think if you keep doing what you're doing & you know what your kids are watching, they will be just fine.

Good Luck & God Bless :)

My almost 3 year old son watches a lot too. He has to watch a show right after he wakes up, before he goes to school. Then when he comes home, he watches about 1-1.5 hours before bath and bed. On weekends, we watch a lot more. probably a good 2 hours in the morning and another 2 after nap. He is extremely active and to be honest, it just doesn't worry me. I know what the guidlines say, but i watched more than that amount when I was growing up and I don't have ADHD or anything else. We strictly watch Noggin or PBS, I will not allow anything more than that. He learns a lot from the shows and I can use them to help explain things like manners, safety and other daily activities. Like, "see how little bear always says please and thank you?", or "Franklin hurt his friend's feelings so he said he was sorry." When the TV is not on, my son goes in his play area and plays amazingly by himself. We are outside everyday doing something and he gets tons of exercise. I'm not saying that it SHOULD be this way, but it is for us and it works. He just started watching when he turned two and I have to say, my life greatly improved. Before that, I had no time to clean or cook!

Don't worry too much. You are not alone. I was one of those people that said I would never let my kids watch tv for a long time. Then I became a mom. The tv was about the only way to get my baby to sleep for about a month or 2. I think he liked the colors or something. Now that he is 2 he still watches tv but he is not engrossed in it for the most part. I only have the "educational" shows on and most of the time he is playing with his trains or cars while watching. It just lets me get a break and get some things done around the house. We do a lot of other stuff too so I really try not to feel guilty. If I can get 1 hour of sanity a day, I am happy.

C.,
I feel your pain and concern. I have two kids, 6 & 3, who love to watch TV as much as yours do. I have recently become a working from home mom and get to see how much my 3 year old spends in front of the TV. I try my hardest to divert his attention with any type of project. I discovered that he enjoys to "cook" with me, so I invite him often to help me cook his lunch or dinner. You do so many things right and should not be so hard on yourself.

You are not alone! And thank you for this post, I needed to read the responses as much as you. My son is two and with me at home full time. We get out every morning for a few hours but then usually stay at home to play (inside and outside) during the time between nap and dinner. I try to keep his TV to 2 hours a day but sometimes it is more. It is on right now!! A bit in the morning, a bit after nap and , of course, while making dinner. He loves to "read" (look at books) so I often say "read a book then TV". And that shaves a few minutes off each session. My husband and I talk about it a lot since I feel so guilty about it but we both feel that I am doing so mcuh with him during the day and a little TV so I can check email, clean and get myself together is okay. I also try to watch as much of the shows with him as I can.

Hope this helps.

My kids used to watch TV like crazy when they were that little too. Now, they are 5 and 7 with school and other activities, they hardly ever watch TV. I wouldn't sweat it too much. It's something they will most likely grow out of. It will be replaced with some awful video game that must be regulated. As long as they're healthy, able to socialize with peers and make good choices, I really don't see how Nick Jr. is hurting them. My daughter learned so much from watching Nick Jr. and PBS shows. She would just spout off little facts that she learned on Dora. I hope this makes you feel better. Trust me there are worse things they could be doing.

Jen

First I want to say all those boys wow????? as far as watching tv I know the doctors say to limit tv but my 18 month old loves noggin. On saturday morning I get about an good 1/2 extra in the morning and when I am cooking I let dora and diego help me. I am a TV junkie and I turned out fine. I think if that was all they did it would be a problem but it sounds like you have a lot of mommy time with them learning so whatever works to keep your household quiet is cool. With another baby TV might be your only chance to keep the older boys quiet

I think it all depends on what your kids are watching. I have a 4 year old daughter, who is very active, and she watches T.V. all the time. She's like a sponge and it amazes me the kind of things she learns from watching t.v., she's picked up more Spanish from watching Dora then I did taking it in school for 6 years.

But your there mother and if you think there Watching too much TV then they are. Most cable/dish companys have settings so you can limit the times when they can watch tv and what they can watch.

All in all you sound like a great mom, and I don't belive your doing anything wrong.

I am a SAHM of one 2yr old boy. You have your hands more full than I do so the TV may be a way to help you to get the essentials done (breakfast, lunch, ect.) which is completely understandable. My son however, only watches 1/2 hr to 1hr at the most per day and is usually in the am when he eats breakfast. I wouldn't beat yourself up about it, your kids sound healthy and well adjusted. You are providing a great example to them by fixing healthy meals and exercising on a regular basis. It doesn't sound like it should be a big deal, your doing a great job I am sure!

~S.

Personally, My son watches tv a lot too! Some days he watches more than other BUT I feel that he learns a lot from it. He watched baby einstein still. He watches Sesame street and others. He watches Noggin and sometimes the disney channel. He's only 2 years old but he learned his colors, shapes, and numbers by doing this. Of coourse with the help of us reading him books, but it reinforces what we teach him. To an extent, I think TV is ok, it just depends on what they are watching.

Hi C....As a mom of 2 and a daycare provider to boot...we also struggle with this issue. I generally do not have the TV on for my daycare kids/room. But, because I have 3 babies to contend with, my kids will spend much of their time in the family room watching TV many days when I'm busy...noggin and PBS. While there are days that the TV does not go on, I feel that my younger son (3) is really learning lots of positive social behaviors he may not get the opportunity to learn otherwise while I am working all day in the home. But, on those days the TV is off, I keep him busy with play-doh, watercolor paint, crafts, and other learning devices to keep him on track with gross and fine motor skills. As well as giving him alone time in his room to play/pretend...which he is great at! I worry also, but I also don't think it's hurting him, as long as there is a balance. If you are concerned, try limiting the TV and getting creative with things that will keep them busy while you work. Don't feel guilty...you are a great mom and your kids are not suffering by watching TV!

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no more than 2 hours/day of TV and/or computer use for children 2 and older and none for those younger. I realize this may be a challenge to address and there is a gadget called TV ALLOWANCE that helps with this.
Alternate activities for children may consist of listening to music in the early morning and doing some exercise prior to having breakfast..the children can lead themselves in this; or, quiet activity of reading, or looking at pictures if too young to read, doing puzzles, etc.
I have 4 children, now adults, and they were only allowed to watch an hour of TV/day except for Saturday mornings when cartoons were allowed prior to doing family chores.
Good luck with this challenge

Bless you, C.. You have your hands full and you sound like a wonderful mother. I can totally relate. I feel like I spend my time with my children trying to keep them away from electronics of all kinds (TV, play station, game boy, dvd). My kids are older - 13, 10 and 5. I'm pretty strict as far as rules (no electronics during the school week and 2 hours on the weekend.) However, every day, the rules seem to bend. And, because my husband likes to watch TV, they end up watching way more on the weekends and sometimes during the week anyway.
While yours are young, it's smart of you to think about this. My gripes about TV, etc. are that it seems to decrease imaginative thinking and play, they seem bored when they aren't allowed to watch TV, never want to play their many board games, etc. It sounds like you're doing a good job finding other things for them to do. I wish I had better specific advice, but if you can, steer them away from it now. The younger ones end up watching what the older one or dominate-personality one wants to watch (so in my case, my sons have seen more pre-teen Disney type shows than they ever would have wanted). You are so smart and conscientious to think about this!
All that said, C., you've got to take care of yourself and throwing on a good DVD for them can often be the best thing for you, especially while they are so young (in my opinion.) Don't exhaust yourself or feel guilty! It's better for them to have a well-rested, calm mother and watch too much TV than a worn-out, frazzled mom whose keeping them constantly entertained, you know?
Good luck and best wishes for your family and your new baby,
L.

I have three children. 9,7 and 4. Sometimes it is hard to not let them watch tv all the time but I believe as long as you guys have "outside time" and are doing games and crafts it kinda lets you have a little "me" time to if you know what I mean. Reading books is very important to it gets them ready for school. I think you are doing just fine. There are some moms out there that allow tv to watch their children and if that was the case then yes it is to much tv but 3-4 hours I think is fine. Just my opion though. Good luck!
R. R.

I know that you have gotten alot of answers, so here is one more from a Grandma. When my daughter was little (she is almost 29) I had to work all day & Yes I did let her watch TV. She loved the shows that had music. MTV was different back then. She was very active & still is. She has great values & work ethics. I believe she learned from every aspect of her life. I now watch my 2 year old grandson during the day. He is dropped off at 7:00 am. I have TLC on for him when he gets here. He loves Hi-5 & dances to the music. We watch Wilber. This is about reading books (he loves his books). Then after breakfast, we watch Bindi The Jungle Girl. He is learning about animals & their names. He gets so excited when he can tell me which animal is on the screen. We either play outside if the weather is good or stay active inside. At least 2 days a week, we go to Monkey Playhouse (an inside playground) so he can play with other children. My point is, that if all they do is watch TV, there is a PROBLEM. Children learn from everything in their lives, including TV. It sounds like you have control over what they watch. They are also active with other things during the day. You sound like a good & loving mother. Good Luck

My son just turned 4 years old and is also a t.v. junkie. He watches it in the morning while getting ready for preschool and after he gets home in the afternoon, he watches mostly Disney Channel or DVD's. I wouldn't worry about it too much as long as it's educational or they learn something from it. I remember as a child that I couldn't get enough of it either. As long as they have other interests also it's not that bad. My son learns a lot from what he watches and I know because he talks about it all the time. I hope this helps.

I think you are being a little hard on yourself C., how do you do it all, and while pregnant with a fourth....Some days it takes so much for me to take my two year old son for a walk to the park, only child right now and I'm also a stay at home mom trying for a second. I try to not let myself feel guilty as long as I take him on outings at least 4-5 days a week. I do not think they are watching too much T.V., plus I'm sure the shows they are watching are somewhat educational right?? Either way, they get plenty of stimulation with eachother/friends/family/school. Plus, you said you do things w/them every day. When you're at home w/ them, you need for them to do something else other be at your feet while you get your necessary things for the day completed. My God, you're not a super hero...Sounds like you need some time off from being Supermom...Even if for a few hours.

We only have one T.V. in a back bedroom. So T.V. watching becomes a planned family activity rather than an all day affair. This is how it has been since we moved into our house in 1994. Your family has to be committed to changing the T.V. habits.

I would have to agree with those that say not to worry about it too much. First, the kids get physical activity, read books (or are read to), and do other activities. It's impossible to structure enough activities in to an entire day, every day. If you want to cut a bit of that tv time out, maybe just encourage them to play by themselves and entertain themselves (legos, blocks, drawing, play doh, etc.), which should be too difficult because you've built activities in to their daily lives already.

I always said that I wouldn't let my kids watch tv; but my husband and I are in grad school, we work, and we have two young kids, so I do have to rely on tv more than I would like. I have a 3.5 year old who watches a bit of tv in the morning while we're getting breakfast, packing lunches, getting dressed, etc., then she watches while I make dinner, and sometimes while I give my one-year old a bath. Noggin is great, because it's designed for toddlers...there are no commercials, and a lot of the shows are somewhat interactive, or at least are not at all aggressive (no real conflict at all) and teach kid-values like sharing. My kids (even the one-year-old) try to help me with chores and other things, and go to bed pretty easily, and are (generally) well-behaved.

I watched too much tv growing up, probably, but my values I got from my parents. I think that's key, and you sound like a great, engaged mom who is a good role model for her kids. As they get older, I like the idea of giving them more and more responsibility around the house and for their own personal needs, and they won't have much time for tv, anyway! We'll see how that works out in my house, too. Isn't it funny how we have to adjust our parenting styles and beliefs to match our own family's needs and realities?

Good luck!

We originally let our son watch Baby Eistein videos and some PBS, so we could have some time to get things done. I started to become alarmed when I'd look at his face, glazed over and glued to the TV. Then I read an article with a recommendation from the American Academy of Pediatrics that said no TV, videos, or computers until the age of 2, and after that it should be very limited. It turns out that they are not sure what the rapid movement and flashing light of the screens do to developing brains. We stopped everything. It was tough at first, but our family has adjusted nicely. I can't help but believe that it has been beneficial for our son, who is now 4 1/2. He is calm, easily able to focus on detailed tasks, and spends most of his time exploring his world and interacting with us in a daily rhythm of play, meal prep, and household chores. I hope that this is helpful.

Hey C. -

Congrats on another on the way!

I wonder if you could shave the time after quiet time off? If you're waiting for the 2 year old to get up, could the older two sit at the kitchen table and do play-doh or color?

I feel a lot like you - I tend to turn to the television (Rosita is singing to Luis as we speak!) when I need 20 minutes to get something done. Mine are (almost) 5 and (just) 2 and I feel that I can finally trust the 2 year old to not eat play-doh, crayons, etc. so it's been a lot more easy, not-too-messy art projects at the table while I work on dinner, unload the dishwasher, etc.

About a year ago, I gave my older child 2 tickets (scraps of paper I had cut into little rectangles) and told her that they were TV tickets. Each ticket was good for 1 show and when her tickets were gone for the day, she was out of TV time. It worked really well and made her pick the shows she wanted to watch instead of just watching another show because it came on before I could get there to turn it off! It also taught her a bit about budgeting and saving - if she wanted to watch Cinderella, for example, she needed to save both tickets because it counted as two shows.

I think if you're concerned about the TV, then it's probably too much for your family and your beliefs as a Mom. Try cutting down bit by bit - your older boys are definitely old enough to both understand and find other activities that don't involve a ton of mess!

Good luck!
C.

I know this is from a few days ago, but I'm just catching up on my emails. I have twin 6-yo boys who are now in Kindergarten, but when they were in preschool they watched a TON of TV. I always felt guilty about it, but I really disagree with the argument that they aren't learning anything - there are so many wonderful shows that teach them so much about colors, letters/numbers, reading even, and the all important how to get along with others! I only let them watch certain age-appropriate shows, not junk, but I feel if you monitor what they're watching, they can really benefit from it, and the # of hours/day doesn't matter too much (unless it's like ALL DAY). Plus, you really need that time to get your own stuff done! You simply can't be hands-on 24/7. If you're feeling too guilty about it, you can "misplace" the remote sometimes, or the batteries can "die" (remove them from the remote); or give them paper & crayons or playdoh & that'll keep 'em busy.

Mom, Can I be honest here?? Who has control over the activities in your home???? If you are worried that your kids are spending too much time in front of the TV-SHUT IT OFF! While I have to say there are many entertaining educational shows for kids, there are also many other things they can be doing while you are cooking. A 5 year old can set the table, a 4 year old can put out the placemats and napkins and the 2 year old can can learn to count while the bigger boys count out the napkins and placemats and silverware. If you are needing them to be in one central location so that you can keep an eye on them while you are cooking, any kind of floor game will do that. Involving them in your daily chores will lead them to be responsible and good little helpers. Kids love to dust and sweep. They may not do a perfect job, but they will learn as they do. Even a 2 year old can fold underwear! And don't worry that they are boys doing girls jobs! If dad is concerned that his boys will turn out to be sissies, dad needs to turn off the TV, forget the movie and be Bob the Builder with the boys. It sounds like his "hands are on the remote" if he watches movies until time to go to bed. Hands on beats eyes on TV any day. TV should be a reward not a babysitter. Pick a night that's movie night. Make it very special with snacks, special seats and everyone getting to pick a movie when it's their turn. Prepare the snacks together, cuddle up on the couch together and clean up together. With a new baby on the way any help the boys can give you will be greatly appreciated and it helps them feel that the baby is theirs, too. Two year olds are great diaper getters and the older boys can focus on what mommy needs. Knitting your family together with chores and activities will give them a sense of ownership and pride that TV will never give them. With 5 males in your house you can be the slave or the queen....you decide!

I am presently trying to ween my little girl of TV. My parents have the TV on from the moment they wake up til they go to bed so over holidays like X-mas our daughter gets WAY too much. I have gotten it to 4 hours a day right now (compared to the 9 + she had at grandmas) and feel pretty good about it. Another problem for me is that we didn't own a TV until about 6 months ago and it is too big to put anywhere but the main room. Thankfully, the TV is our roommates so when they leave in 2 months so the the TV.

It is good that you see that. TV is indeed really bad for young kids. I have a 5 and a 2 y.o. . Since I took the TV from them they just play the whole day together. It is really DESTRUCTIVE for their development brain. It is really sad that FEW people know it. I could be on and on about it. But check the work of the WALDORF SCHOOLS. A school for the ELITE of thinkers way ahead of any game you will ever see. Make Montessori a joke. (ex-Montessori teacher speaking).
1-2 hours is a ""LOT"" of TV. Fortunately you can see with your own eyes if you just turn the it off. I saw it!!! I takes few days for them not even remember it is there. Be patient.
TV, KIDS and their full potential of imagination DON'T MATCH. And kids without imagination are clown of our society. Yes we need all kinds of people and they all should be respected. Just think which kind of adults you want then to be. Good luck on your own research...Your kids future in your hands.
Boys should get dirt and not watch TV AT THIS TIME. Have you ever wonder who makes these cartoons? Have you ever seem a gay pride flag(6 times) in the Diego's armadillo episode. I did. Sad,sad, sad....Play with them. Tell stories when you were a baby at bed time(THEY WILL LOVE IT)...Trust without TV they will play together for most of the day. Because imagination have NO limits.
You will see a lot of answers saying it is OK....But IT COULDN'T BE FAR FROM THE TRUTH.

C.....Wow, it was like I was hearing myself talk. My kids do watch a lot more television than I would like them to. Sometimes it truly is the only break stay-at-home moms get and I handle it in two ways. On the days that I'm tapped out physically and emotionally, I let them watch several hours a day, but encourage them to find things to do together; (like play school or McDonald's drive-thru!) sometimes they do, sometimes they keep watching t.v. Other days I claim a "no t.v. day" and they have to help in what I'm doing or do their own chores. My bottom line is no t.v. in the morning before school. I tell them their brains will turn to mush!! Anyway, don't be so hard on yourself. It sounds like you have a healthy, happy family. We do as well and so I try to throw the guilt in the garbage. Try a "no t.v. day" and if you aren't ready to lock yourself in your bedroom closet by lunchtime, call it a great success! Remember you are in the toughest years of motherhood and marriage (yours are younger than mine and I think you sound like a fabulous mom!)

I'm a mother of a 5, 7 and 17 year old and live in Venice. I joined a MOPS group and wish I would have years ago...I love how normal it makes ME feel!