I think the problem started when a teen that young gets "serious" with another teen for SO LONG. She's very young, depending on a boyfriend so early? that is sad. I'm gonna try and encourage our girls at that age that there's NO REASON to be going "steady" with someone for that long. Date around. Have fun, you are KIDS, don't take everything so seriously. Leave the complicated, long-term relationships for adulthood!
So, my advice is only based on the fact that I would not have let them be SO attached at such a young age. If I was in your situation, I'd just use it as an example that they ARE still kids and relationships should only be serious when you get older. I'd tell her to have fun and take it easy. Now she isn't weighed down by the obligations, restrictions, and the crazy emotions that a relationship can have. You are only 16 once....
And I'm not saying a teen isn't capable of a strong bond with another... but I think that a long romantic relationship does not belong in childhood. It robs them of something.
OH... Wait... I thought you were talking about how your 16 year old just broke up with her boyfriend that shes had since freshman year... but you are talking about a 14 year old?!? Geez, what's up with the need to have a boyfriend at 14? I liked boys then, for sure... went on some dates (with different guys- and VERY casual. ended up more like going out with a boy who is a friend kind of thing). Never had an official boyfriend! 14 is DEFINITELY too young. Too bad you can't convince her otherwise cause I'm sure if Big Sis is doing it, she's got to, too... :(
I'm not trying to sound harsh. I hope these girls have a GOOD father in their lives. You don't want them out there dating to try to replace anything lost from absence of a good father.
Gosh, just re-read what I wrote. Just trying to say I'm really not trying to be mean, but I may have come across as such...