Okay so i have a 6 kids, 4 boys and 2 girls. My 14 year old girl has reccently been noticing males a little more lately, and ive been trying to give "the talk" but it has a been reallyhard, i never remmbered it being ths hard wih my 16 year old daughter. I try to be open with my kids, but my 14 year old just freaks out about all this type of stuff! Buying bra's, talking about periods, and even going to the doctor has always been a real struggle, but this is something that needs to be done. Any moms out there that have daughter like this or have any suggestions?
Thanks!
I agree with the car thing, but you almost hate to have to do that! lol
Ha, yes, I did the car drive with the talk.. Works great.. she won't feel like you are waiting for her reactions.
But our daughter was 8.
Then every once in a while I would add more or ask HER questions..
Well, I was like this for my mom, I think :)
I found it always less awkward if you have uncomfortable talks while driving. There's no distraction and no walking away, but at the same time, she can look out the window and pretend to not be interested if she likes. Sometimes the face to face and eye contact can be uncomfortable but this allows her to hear you without having to look at you or wonder what she should be doing.
I have no specifics on things to talk about or how, but that's a suggestion for where to talk to her.
Pick her up by herself in the car and take the long way home. Then talk. Maybe pick a song on the radio about love and say, "So...you've been noticing boys, huh?" and go from there. It's easier if you don't look at each other sometimes.
I agree with the 'alone in the car' talk. They can't go anywhere!
I'm also lucky that I have a husband that has worked on the 'shock and awe' method of parenting. Be it good or bad you never know what will come out of his mouth! And because from about 14-now at 17 she was all about being Daddy's girl it worked for me. I would mention to him privately things I noticed/observed and/or messages I wanted to get across and he was all over it!
We have a very open house. OK, we're not walking around nude or anything, but no topic is off limits. We've always told our kids that they could come to us with anything, good-bad and the ugly! ;) As the mother of a now 21 year old son I heard probably more than any mother would want. So it was beyond me how I had this VERY PRIVATE daughter. So the Super Dad came into action!
And funny you ask this question now. My husband just did a Target trip with me and I bought sanitary pads for our daughter. I commented that she will never tell me she needs them so I just buy them periodically and put them on the stairs and they disappear.
Good Luck!
I started talking when my now 16 yr old was a toddler.
My mom was the one who freaked about communication and I vowed that I would always be open and honest with my children
We are fortunate to have a bond that is very tight and communication is wide open about anything and everything.
Maybe you can start by getting a book for her that explains things if you do not feel comfortable.
Also, at 14, don't underestimate her...... she knows more than you think she does. Wouldn't you rather her get facts from you vs general info that may or may not be correct from friends?
I suggest that you find a couple of good books that give her the info you want her to have and give them to her. That way she does get the basics and you can use them as a starting point for discussions.
My daughter has a book about growing up for girls and she read it with her daughter starting around 8 or 9. My granddaughter, who is now 11, feels comfortable talking with her mother but sometimes, when she's thinking about something really personal, she'll come to me to talk about it. I mostly listen and make brief comments that helps her make good choices.
Perhaps your daughter would be more comfortable talking with someone else. Perhaps an aunt or the mother of one of her friends.
I recommend books from the American Girl series.
