Looking for Age Appropriate Book for "The Talk"

The American Girl book is a good one. I can also recommend "What's the Big Secret?" for this young age group.

When my daughter was in 3rd grade I bought a book called "Where Did I Come From." It was great and, after telling all my friends about it, they bought it for their daughters too. There is another book written by the same authors for older children (I believe my daughter was in 7th grade or so when I got it) called "What's Happening To Me Now."

There is a series of books that are all age appropriate that discusses this...the first one is for 3-5 y.o. and just says that boys & girls are different in every way including our bodies....it was a good place to start for us. especially because I have 2 nephews the same age as my 2 daughters and they accidentally might see each other going potty and there have been questions. I'd reccommend checking out the book series, you might even want to back up a book or two in the series just to ease her into the whole thing. "A Series for the Christian family: The New Learning about SEx: Why Boys & Girls are Different" by Carol Greene. Good for you for starting at this age! good luck.

There is a wonderful series of books called "God's Design for Sex", put out by Navpress.
They have 4 books that are broken down by age:
Bk 1 - "The Story of Me", ages 3-5
Bk 2 - "Before I was Born", ages 5-8
Bk 3-"What's the Big Deal?", ages 8-11
Bk 4 - "Facing the Facts: The Truth About Sex and You", ages 11-14
I have used them with my children. These books present sex and our bodies as a wonderful gift that God has given us.
You can probably get them at Mardels or a store similar to them.
Hope this helps.
D.

There is a wonderful series for 3 age groups (5ish, 7 and up, 10 and up) that I bought for my two children (ages 6 and 10). The 7 and up book is called _It's So Amazing_, and it was a great way to introduce the topic! The 10 and up book, _It's Perfectly Normal_, goes into more detail about puberty (more like the American Girl book, I believe - it's definitely "TMI" for a first discussion with a child who isn't close to puberty yet, regardless of age!). I don't recall the title of the book for the youngest group at the moment. The _Amazing_ book has bits of humor and clever illustrations that make even the most reluctant parent (or child!) feel comfortable discussing the topic. My son had not asked anything at all about sex, reproduction, etc. since I was pregnant with his sister when he was 4...giving him the book to read on his own and then talking about questions afterward worked really well for him. Even though we, as adults, know "the details," it's helpful to have a book as a resource to help us explain it in a way that teaches our children the facts as well as the emotional component. Good luck!

--M.

You know, I truly believe that there is no 'right' way to handle this. Each child is different. Having said that, the way we handled this was to be in a place where I was alone with our daughter...I think we were at the park. We have 2 smaller children and we didnt want them to continually interrupt. I just started asking her questions to see where she was, and went from there. I gave her information then encouraged her to ask me questions. To be honest, I was shocked at how well she handled it all and suprised at the maturity of her questions.

To be specific, I think I asked questions as to whether she knew how babies were made and left the 'sex' word out of it for awhile. I told her that there was a special way that moms and dads love each other and asked if she knoew what that was. Then I would give a little info and see how it registered. I always encouraged her to ask questions and tried not to give too much info before checking in with her. That way, if she 'got it' then I wasnt overwhelming her.

Over the years I have found that once I opened the topic for discussion, as she had follow up questions, she came to me. And if I felt it was time for us to check in, I would and she was ok with it because we never had 'the talk,' just a series of one-on-one time talking about stuff.

I have always found that using books - for us - is too formal and uncomfortable. I use books for me before I talk to the kids if I am unsure about something or need a little information before I go to them. I want my kids to know they can come to me and I will talk to them, not just read them a book. Eventually they may decide there is more information to be found by skipping you altogether and go to the library. Books are great, but open conversation, hugs and closeness will take you much further.

Above all, I think whatever your approach, you need to make sure you dont look or sound uncomfortable or embarassed. Your child will take her cues from you.

Take what I've said with a grain of salt because only you know your kiddo...you will know what to do and waht to say. Just let her guide you, she may suprise you!

Hello! I have to say that I don't understand why anyone needs a book! You are a woman, you've had babies, you know all about the birds and bees! Tell your daughter she can ask you anything she wants. When she asks, tell her the truth (if she finds out you didn't, she won't trust you with her questions). When you tell her the truth, only tell her what she asks, not additional details. EX: how is a car able to go? You put gas in it, turn on the key and put your foot on the pedal. You don't have to go into detail about how the engine works (not right now anyway). Once you begin these conversations, always remind your daughter that it's better not to discuss this topic with friends as her friends parents want to be the ones who talk to their kids and they may not want their kids to know as much as she does. I did this with my boys and they always trusted me to talk to me all the way up to their teens and early adult years. And believe me, I was a single mom with a deadbeat ex-husband, and when my boys asked me what a wet dream was at age 9, I was not excited to have to have that discussion. But it gets easier and ideally, it's the teen years that you want them to feel they can be open with you so having honest age-appropriate discussions when they begin asking is very important. They need you, not a book.

Shannon Ethridge is an outstanding speaker and author on this topic. She has an awesome book called, "Preparing your daughter for every woman's battle." She is an amazing Christian woman that 'tells it like it is'. Here's her website... you can order the book here. http://www.shannonethridge.com/

I went to the Family Christian Book Store on Preston Rd. They have a nice selection of books that will explain things.

Some of the other women had great replies: open communication is the best thing. Don't limit this discussion to just one talk, this should be an ongoing discussion - throughout her pre-teen and teenage years. Things will change for her as she grows. Use the books as a springboard to a real discussion, not as the end all. Before you read any books to her though, read them first yourself: there may very well be content in them that you do not agree with (I'm not talking scientific, I'm talking moral and ethical). Good luck on this important topic! My mother never had a talk with me, she only conveyed that it was a dirty, shameful topic. Please try not to be embarassed at all when you talk with her, practice first with someone - your husband or a good friend.

I love the Where did I come from? series. It has cute illustrations. It came out in the 70's and I remember my mom reading it to me and other parents borrowing it for their kids. A great follow up is What is happening to me? for puberty changes. More and more girls are hitting puberty earlier and starting their period much earlier than many of us did. It is common for 4th graders to start. So you might want to get both books now.

The Care and keeping of You - American Girl is a great book - I've read it with both my girls (9 and 11).

I have a 13 yr old girl. I used a couple of books from the library and just made sure that I have OPEN communication about anything. She knows that anything goes as far as talking to me.

She still says "ugh" to the books but she will come to me to ask specific questions and I just answer to the best of my knowledge. If I do not know an answer, we call our pedi Dr. Piga and she is fantastic to answer such questions.

4th graders were shown a video by the school nurse to also help prepare her for puberty. Some moms totally ignore this stage. I also ordered a free booklet and info from playtex or someone like that and had it ready for her.

As for her cycle, that has been tougher because I had a hysterectomy in 2001 and I don't have to deal with that anymore. Thank God and I feel better than ever!!! I help her keep a detailed report of her cycle each month and when we go to the pedi for any reason, I take an updated copy for her files.

Just be there for her, keep an open mind.

I recall my mom being SO prudish about sex and nudity. That can backfire on you. It is no big deal as long as you are communicating with each other.

Good luck....they grow up TOO fast!

I know you have received several responses, but the first one naming the book "Why Boys and Girls are Different" by Carol Greene is a great book to start things going, but may also be information she knows. The second book in the series "Where Do Babies Come From" will be more your daughters age group. I am looking for it myself. They are Christian based books, they explain with pictures (not too graphic) and they don't go into too much detail. Sometimes the simplest answers are best at the age they are at.

My daughter oldest is 7 and we just had an episode with having to talk about sex and what is appropriate and what isn't. We got a huge shock on some of the words she has heard in other households.

Becca

Just an FYI ask her what she already knows and you may be suprised. I have 4 kids, 3 of them are girls (13,14,16). As long as you don't over react and keep an open door invite, she will tell you just about everything. This has worked so far for me and mine (i hope). I even had my son who is 11 and can not stand to talk about anything come and asked me some questions. Its a trip, but they have to grow up and you might as well be the one they come to for advise.
Good Luck,
M. H

The Care and Keeping of You from the American Girl Library is GREAT. It does not talk about sex, but about puberty and body changes.

Focus on the Family has great literature out about this. Dr. James Dobson is a well known Christian Author and speaker. You can do a google search for this organization.

L.