Super Whiney Heinie!! 2 Month Old Is a Total MAMAS BOY!

Jeez, I'm sorry but you act like he's 6 or 7 and whiney. He's barely come into this world! Infants need quite a bit of mama time and want to be held by mom almost constantly. Actually, they need body to body contact to thrive. Have you tried wearing him in a sling or baby front pack, like a Baby Bjorn? And by the way, you simply CANNOT spoil an infant!!!

My second son was the same way. My oldest seemed to be enchanted by just looking at the world around him. My second? Nothing really made him happy unless I held him and walked around outside. I couldn't just take him for a stroll in the house. I understand.

I used a sling A LOT! After he was fed, diapered, and otherwise physically attended to, he basically lived in the sling for a few months. His choice, not mine. But it worked.

I also worked at home, and as weird as it sounds, I would read him my e-mails (who is he going to tell?), talk to him about what I had to do, and even "dictate" to him as I typed. It was weird, but it worked for us. The hardest part? When I went back to work in the office, I still would talk as I carried out my tasks!

sounds completely normal for a two month old. I suggest you get a sling or a Bjorn pack and carry him with you. It really will help and give you free hands to do other things. At two months, it isn't about being entertained. He isn't doing it to just get attention, he needs you.

ok um wow. He's only 2 months old. Infants don't cry unless they need soemthing even if it is just needing you. Babies don't cry just for attention. They don't know what that is. Try wearing him put him in a front carrier or sling and wear him , tell him what you are doing , talk to him about everything. Go to the mall with him in a carrier there is lots of noise at the mall. If he's happy naked maybe he as an allergy to the clothes or detergant you use on his clothes.

Ummmm...He's 2 months old. You are his world right now. You cannot spoil an infant.
Have you tried wearing him in a sling? And TALK to him constantly....even silly stupid stuff. That's the great part about being alone with an infant--you can talk about anything and everything you want and tell ALL your secrets!

Two MONTHS old?!? Of course he's clingy! He's not some little doll you can dress up and prop in a corner. If you can't work and pay him attention all the time then get a sitter to be with him while you are working. Keeping the TV or music on all day is not the same as interacting with him. He was use to riding and growing inside you for 9 months and it's noisier in there than you think. To be on the outside is quite a different environment and of course he wants to be held and carried. Babies absolutely need to know they are loved. Consider getting a baby sling so you (or a sitter) can wear your baby as much as possible. It's impossible to spoil any child under the age of 7 months. They are made for holding. My son was so happy being right next to me all the time. Now he's 11 yrs old, as tall as me and has been way too big to sit in my lap for years. He's a great kid and we are so proud of him, but sometimes I wish I could hold my happy little baby again. Too bad we can't bottle some of those moments so we can enjoy them again later on.
Additional comments:
I don't think people are intentionally attacking you, but the tone of your question brings out a lot of concern from people. Playing music and or TV all day just doesn't make it sound like you have bonded well with your son so people are afraid for your child. The way I understand the term, 'Mama's boy' is a grown man who can't bear to part with his mother (as in move away from or get married, etc). I can't fathom how this term could possibly apply to an infant. Sorry for the communications snafu.

He is only 8 weeks!!! I have twin boys and one sounds like your baby and it doesn't mean he is whiney he just needed more human contact than his brother. Please look up Happiest Baby on the Block it explains that human babies actually need an extra 3 months in utero but would be too big for us to carry. look at the animal world to see that other mammals are born able to do a lot more than humans. Please stop complaining and figure out a way to hold him all day. I did with two

I agree with the moms right now who say you can't spoil him enough at this age.

He's obviously needing that attention and the reassurance of Mom being there. I think the suggestions of a carrier/sling, etc are good ones. He needs your closeness and comfort.

Our daughter was a grumpy little baby - I wondered if she had colic and would outgrow it by 3 months. Right before then, I was diagnosed with cancer (day before our son's second birthday), and all of a sudden my point of view changed - I couldn't hold her enough, and that need on her behalf really comforted me.

She changed the day I was diagnosed - like she knew something grave had happened and became the most angelic child.

I hope this little one settles soon - I know it's hard, but it's only temporary.

Well, this is the web, so I may interpret your post the wrong way... but to me it sounds like you have not properly bonded with this child. The way you write about him, your choice of words ("this kid"!?) and the general tone of your post just strike me the wrong way. I would strongly urge you to speak to a health care professional about how your maternal/child bond is developing and whether you may be experiencing postpartum issues. I have just never heard anyone speak about their newborn this way, unless they had postpartum depression and failed to bond with their baby.

Now if this is not the case, get a sling or carrier, wear your baby, read a few good, modern parenting books. If you cannot or do not want to meet the needs of your infant hire a nanny to at least give him a good start in life!
Good luck!

This question really took me aback. Maybe your older children were exceptionally easy babies. He sounds fairly normal for a 2 month old. Do you really expect him to entertain himself for a long period of time? I'm not trying to be snarky, honest. Most little babies like being next to mom best and if you get 5-10 minutes out of any of those baby gadgets, you're doing pretty well. Wearing him and talking to him while you work are good suggestions. I loved my Ergo. The baby faces you when he sits in it. You can also put the baby on your side or back when he gets older by rearranging the straps. Would it be possible to get a Mother's helper or maybe a relative who wouldn't mind holding him and entertaining him for a few hours while you get some work done? I know how hard it is when you have stuff to get done and they are doing what babies do best and being clingy. It will pass though. =)

OK, here's my response to your response (you asked :). I do not think it was the facts in the post I think it was the language you used. When you call him a "Super Whiney, Mommas Boy" say "he cries just to get attention" wants to be held "all day long", "he just whines and whines and whines" but then say he has tummy time, bounce time & swing time, I think people are just turned off. Lots of us had newborns that went through phases where they screamed constantly. When you describe it the way you have it just seems like your acting like something is wrong with him and I was just making the point that he sounds like a typical newborn. I am so not a "perfect mom" and am really not a judgemental person at all. I just get sick of people acting like newborns have some secret agenda to make us miserable. I see them more as little defenseless, needy creatures who demand a ton of attention. I guess I pretty much was my babies "puppet" for the first year or so of life and despite feeling overwhelmed and exhausted a lot of the time it worked pretty well for our family!

ORIGINAL POST:
"He is two months old!!! He is not manipulating you to get attention he is acting like a normal 2 month old. Get yourself a sling or carrier, strap him on and go about your day. You are a long way from him entertaining himself or self soothing and you cannot spoil an infant! He is not a mamas boy, he is not spoiled, he is a tiny baby who wants to be near his mother, totally normal. At two months I pretty much did hold, carry, rock and nurse my girls all day long. Thats's what motherhood is.

Try babywearing. It'll free your hands but also give him the closeness he needs. You can try a sling or wrap. It sounds like he may prefer the wrap so he can look around a bit but if he sleeps a lot while you hold him a sling is often easier to get the hang of. Mine went through a similar phase. It's a phase don't worry.

you may have raised 'two perfect girls' but your son is not one of them, and every child is different. So he has different needs.... I highly doubt you and your husband have the same needs all the time, right? Go with his flow! get a sling, wear him when he's cranky, feed him when he's hungry, snuggle him when he needs it. He's only been in this world for 2months, and he's still learning how to be a little person and still very much thinks he's an extension of you and not his own body yet. He won't sit and be happy in a bouncer alone, or in a swing or under a play mat thing. He's still very very new and whle he may seem clingy he is just a newborn.

Also I want to reiterate what Ina mentioned, with bonding and post partum depression. No you aren't expected to hold him all day but maybe putting too many unrealistic expectations on a newborn if you aren't really bonded with him yet.

But just relax, go with his flow, wear him in a sling and follow his cues. he will be way more restless if you try to make him do what he's not ready to do. He needs to know he can trust you and depend on you, so go with his flow right now.

I agree with the baby wearing idea. My daughter was very much like this and yes it was very hard to get anything done with a baby, and I was not trying to work from home. She was also like this a bit after I returned to work so weekends were a challenge. I had a front carrier that I originally bought for trips to the park and such but ended up using it more in the house than outside. Another thing that may work is recording your voice, or maybe even recording yourself with a video camera (even the family) and playing that on the TV to keep him occupied a bit. And yes, the idea that you will spoil a baby by picking up or paying attn all the time is old school.

Check out thebabywearer.org. It is a great website about wearing babies and the many different types of carriers you can use for different situations and to meet your different needs. My son didn't want to be put down until he was about 3 months old, and it was very difficult for me to function until I began wearing him. It's the best of both worlds, and really, you can't spoil a 2-month-old. Wait until he's about 5-6 months old before you start worrying that you're holding them too much. Read "The Happiest Baby on the Block" about the 4th trimester, which may help you understand your little guy, and try to find something where everyone is happy! Good luck.

Hello R.! The book "Happiest Baby on the Block" was a life saver for me......so was the Moby Wrap sling. My daughter needed movement, snuggling and noise all the time too. The book had GREAT techniques and the Moby wrap made carrying my little one all the time so much easier. Plus they LOVE that closeness.
Good luck!

He's 2 months old, that's completely normal. Give him the love and attention he's asking for!

I have 3 boys who are very much mama's boys. My oldest was happy just hanging with everybody. My middle son wanted to nurse 24/7 and my youngest had to nurse and be held all the time. Turns out the youngest had acid reflux. I am of the school you can't spoil a baby. They cry for a reason because they cannot not say "I hurt", "I am uncomfortable", or "I just need to be held." Yes, it is hard to get anything done when you have a kid in your arms. I wore all my kids for the first year. If he is absolutely never content when you set him down talk to your pediatrician, there could be medical reason he wants to be held. And if he's happy naked well turn up the thermostat and let him be naked.

Hi R.,

This part of motherhood is obviously hard for you. Please don't worry about your little boy being a Mama's boy. He is less likely to be one when he gets older if he feels wanted and loved. That's all you have to do. And now it is okay to be a little clingy.

I would suggest day care if you can afford it while you are working. Set aside an hour to play with your baby every day. Read a book to him, let him sit on your lap, walk him in the stroller, even watch a video with him. Just treat him like he is the only person on earth for that hour.

When he takes a bath make it fun too. Toys and splashing is okay! What's cleaning up a little water if you just made him feel loved and fun. A story at bedtime.

Listen R., if you are not the type of Mom that doesn't enjoy spending the entire day with a little guy that is okay! Just make quality time together, allow him to be a baby. Hugging and loving is part of that and it will go away too soon. But if it makes you a better mom to put the baby in daycare......go for it. Obviously he loves a little commotion and action as you described.

It's cute that he likes to be naked, and will be a help when you begin potty training later on.
:)

I think the baby wearing suggestion is going to help you both out quite a bit. I would like to respond to your request for clarification on the "negative feedback."

Imagine the kind of mothers who sit and read the questions and take the time to respond with their own experiences and suggestions. The audience you targeted is one that's going to be more keen on attachment parenting styles and the reading and research of infant behaviors and the like. Yes, most of the books these days agree that you cannot spoil an infant. (Birth - six months.) In this light, perhaps you can see how some of your tone and phrasing may concern other mothers who, in light of their own research and experiences, simply cannot understand your seeming level of frustration with your infant.

I am a hyper-researcher, but I understand that it takes time you may not have to spare when you have a newborn. Message boards like this are helpful to try and tap in to the knowledge of the community, and I hope you continue to use it. Whether your tone and phrasing were inspired out of work frustration and sleeplessness, no one is really going to know by reading. The concerns about you struggling with postpartum issues stem out of that, though. Don't discount the value of talking to your health care professionals, both for your son's "fussiness" and your unease. They may be able to present suggestions to help you cope with or "fix" whatever is going on.

Good luck.

Definately do Happiest Baby. In fact get jump started right now on You tube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6KnVPUdEgQ. Wearing him also sounds like a good option, but you know what I think he really needs - Sleep. He sounds to me like a very overtired little boy who cannot get to sleep because he's too tired to start with. It doesn't make sense, but if a baby is very tired he will sleep LESS and be more cranky. At this point he needs at least 16 hours a day (up to 20). From the time he wakes up he should never be up more than two hours including the time it takes to put him back to sleep. By the time you are done feeding he may only be awake and playing for 15 minutes. What would happen if you spent the time you are spending with him now, rocking and cuddling him to sleep in a quiet space with some white noise. Start the going back to sleep process at the first yawn(or other sleep sign) you see - if you miss your moment you may be too late (Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child)

I would get a mayawrap or a mie tei (I think that's how it's spelled) and carry him with you. Either of those will leave your hands free to work around the house and baby will feel safe and secure. The first 3 months of life really are the "4th trimester" (Happiest Baby on the Block book). It takes a lot of getting used to the outside world and he's telling you he needs more comfort and security like he had in the womb. I loved my sling(best money I EVER spent) and it was a life-saver as my son had some health issues and needed to be held and comforted a lot when he was tiny.

Hello, My son was exactly like yours. Not only, he would not sleep unless near a warm body. I could simply not bear to let him cry, the idea just drove me nuts!!! So I spent 4 months constantly with him... until... he had enough. Eventually started sleeping on its own, happy to spend15/20 min doing the same thing during the day.. but if you had to do something or plan something it was the day that all went wrong.He didnt like the pram.Sling worked miracles!!!
I was alone with him all day and at times I really went mad...trying to find things to do and waiting for my husband to come home sometimes very late. High maintenance maybe but he is bright and independent now and really proud of him(2 and 1/2)
I just had a girl and I am amazed, she goes to sleep alone from the beginning, sleeps all night (the boy woke up 3/4 times a night until he was 9 months old)and she is happy on her own that sometimes I think
I will pay for it later...
Every baby is different have different needs and personality.
Every time I tried to adapt it to my needs it all went terribly wrong with a lot of crying and stress. Nothing is for ever
good luck

SoundS to me like he could have some sensory issues going on and possibly some food issues as well. But I honestly had my 4th in a sling unless he was sleepig at night next to me allmost 24/7 for about 6 months he is my most content baby yet. I don't believe you can spoil a baby and he is our last so I wanted every second of the baby time I couldnget. Indonhave various slings ring slings mei tais and wraps which helped too I could and still do switch things up depending on the task.

Hi! I absolutely agree with buying a sling or baby bjorn carrier that will leave your hands free and allow you to snuggle with him a bit more. But, one of things in your question that caught my eye is that you said he was happy when he was naked! The way you describe him sounds a bit like a baby who is slightly ill or uncomfortable -- you know when your child gets a little sick, they whine all day long and the only thing that helps is a big time distraction (the house is crazy) or Mom holding them. If I were you, I would do some investigating on the clothes. Perhaps, he is super sensitive to textures or feeling restricted. Maybe he feels like his clothes are slightly itchy/hot/tight or just uncomfortable. I would try putting those cotton sleepers on him, but a size too big and see if he is happier. He's 2 months old, so he's not going to get tripped up in clothes that are too big and he doesn't have to look like a fashion statement. I have a girl and a boy -- opposite personalities and opposite genders -- but one of the greatest things about boys is that they really adore their moms and always like that extra time with Mom to feel safe and happy. Finally, you mentioned that you are working from home -- I do that too. I can completely sympathize with your frustration, but I think with some adjustments and detective work, you'll work it out for both of you!

Hi R.! I didn't read your responses, so I apologize if I'm redundant. I just had to write in to tell you my first daughter was JUST like your son. I literally had to drop everything in my life and hold her for about 6 months. I was just about to go totally bananas when she decided it was actually OK for me to put her down. I just assumed all babies were like that until I had my second one. What a pleasant surprise. I guess I don't really have any advice. Just wanted to say that I think some babies just want to be held more than others. It'll end eventually. Try to focus on the positive - like the great biceps you'll end up with :)

My daughter is only 6 weeks right now, but sometimes she just wants me to hold her...and I try to hold her as much as possible, but you're right - it's impossible to hold her all the time!! One of the things that SOMETIMES works for me is putting her in a bouncy seat in the bathroom with the lights and the fan on - the fan gives white noise and the lights entertain her for some reason...and the pacifier...and she will fall asleep. I am going to see about getting some of those 'white noise' tapes for her nursery...she may like it in the crib. Also - keep your baby on a schedule - then he will know what to expect and kind of keep it regulated...my DD is so good out in public and never cries, but at home she is more fussy...she used to be ok in the swing, but now she prefers to lay on a blanket next to me on the couch...that way I can still eat lunch or do whatever while my DH is at work, but she will still feel me close to her. Also - when he is on a schedule, and it's nap time, he may have to cry it out....go in every 15 minutes and let him know you are there for him, but he could just be tired and usually when my DD cries it out it will only take 5 - 15 mins total and then she will be sleeping...and the ortho pacifiers don't stay in - so I use the round ones that curve outward - they stay in better...Good luck - it won't last forever!!!

Regarding the other posters:
I don't think they understood your tone....I thought you sounded like a REAL MOM....not someone fake and acting like lack of sleep and a screaming baby is completely relaxing....no one tells you how frustrating it is when you are worried about your little baby - which is a sign of a good mom. And calling him 'this kid' etc is probably just your colloquialism coming through....You were being emphatic, but the women on here took it too seriously....don't even worry about it....

R.

Some babies just require more than others. At 2 months, he may just need to be closer. You don't say whether there was any trauma at birth. If so, the baby often needs to just be picked up on demand. If you have a baby sling or one of those carriers where you can pop him in and he can lie or sit against you that may work. They leave your arms free, he can lie against your chest and you can work. Once he is secure, he'll probably mellow out. He may also be picking up your frustration and is straining to make sure it's not him. Babies can't articulate, but they have discernment. Make sure your response to him is loving instead of expedient. That should help.

I feel your pain. My challenging child is now a beautiful, cooperative 18 year old, but my husband and I still remember her first year like it was yesterday. Unless we were willing to listen to her scream - and I mean high volume, veins popping on her forehead, little knuckles white - we had to hold or engage her 24/7. And sometimes nothing we did worked. We had to learn not to take it personally, do everything we could for her and accept that even then sometimes she would just wail.

We didn't have so many choices in wraps and slings but I learned to do everything wearing a snuggly - including going to the bathroom or writing a policy memo. When I took her and her older brother for a walk or to the park, I had to take the stroller, snuggly and backpack and move her from one to another to keep her happy.

As she got a few months older, when I had done everything and was sure she was dry and fed, sometimes I would put her in her crib for a few minutes, close the door and give myself a break. I also used a lot of calming breathes during that year - make sure you don't hold your tension in your jaw or shoulders and get some breaks from being in charge of his happiness here and there. While I was home with her all day my husband made sure to do a lot with her when he came home.

I also always made sure to soak her in when she was calm and happy or sleeping quietly and remind myself that that happy baby was my real girl, she just needed some extra help to get there. Eventually she out grew out of the wailing and clingyness and became a very independent toddler (challenging in a whole new way!) It also became clear she had sensory issues - picky about clothes and tags and socks - and like your guy, loved noise and chaos. So pay attention to what helps and what doesn't.

Hang in there and Good luck!