My 6Mo Son Always Wants Someone to Hold Him

yes it's normal, they want human contact and the bird's eye view. Get a sling or baby bjorn or a backpack and enjoy it, as soon as he is mobile, he will want to get down.

My son was the same way, but at about 5 mths old he began to use a walker, which I know they say is unsafe and all, but we have a 1 level home, no stairs...he LOVES it. He just needed to be able to do something on his own!

He wants it as he gets it ;-D..you need to start holding less (not as in not at all) but this is what he is getting use to and if you do not spend all day carrying him around (some people do) you need to engage him in some playing on the floor, tummy time is important as he need to build up his neck muscles and that would keep him playing (no baby likes it..it takes awhile)the swing, the high chair..we are not talking about Not holding him, but there are ways to start him playing more and choosing toys etc in his pack and play and or on blankets on the floor.

Find the bright shiny things that interest him so you can have him play..being the youngest and the baby he will be very use to everyones attention..but carrying him around everywhere is wearing you out..when the other kids are around have them engage him so you can cook and take a moment too

It's really normal for your son to want to be held. It reassures him that you are there. He is making big developmental changes and babies need to be dependent in order to continue developing their independence. I encourage you to hold him as much as he needs right now and he will grow out of this when he is ready. Consider getting a baby carrier (many different options), so that he can be held and you can have your hands free.

Definitely try some slings. There is absolutely nothing odd about a tiny baby wanting to be held all the time. Obviously you need to be available to your other kids and a sling will enable that. I don't know why everyone is so intent on having independent babies. I could do anything with my baby in a sling (well not anything). She even fell asleep when I was raking one day.

I totally empathize. My son (5mo) is the same way. In the beginning, I thought I'd just babywear him, so no big deal. Too bad for us, our son isn't so into slings! He briefly tolerated ring slings, then preferred a front facing carrier, but only for walks outside, and now might be back to ring slings, but again only for limited amounts of time. Mostly, he fusses and cries in a sling. I highly recommend seeing if you can borrow a sling or carrier first to try it and get used to it and see how your kiddo likes it. It's true he won't like it until you're comfortable with it, and it's true that at different phases he may prefer different carriers, but there are probably some he just won't do, at least not at the moment. You can try them on with him at the Papaya Patch. Would love to chat more, since you're the first other real, not-in-a-book mom I've seen who has this dilemma. Please feel free to message me!

OH gosh, this hits a nerve.

Babies want PEOPLE. Not plastic junk, not swings and exersaucers and bouncy chairs. Those things are very well and good for when you absolutely must take a five minute shower, or set the baby down while you're juggling hot knives, or whatever, but for pity's sake, BABIES NEED TO BE HELD BY THEIR PARENTS.

Six month olds are not supposed to be independent. They aren't supposed to 'play a little bit longer'. They need to be close to their parents, know that they are safe and warm, and connect on a physical and emotional level.

Invest in a good sling like a mei tai and hold your baby. Believe me, you will not regret it.

I don't have an answer, b/c I have the exact same baby!
Thanks for asking the question - I look forward to reading feedback, don't believe in "Cry it out"!, and would love to hear back if anything works for you.

best of luck!

oh, but one thing for sure - Many cultures do carry their baby. i do support attachment parenting and especially with an older sibling - rely greatly on our sling. My guy is barely 5 months, but at 6 - you can probably wear your on your back by now.
I suggest an Ergo baby carrier - it's the best. ( a little$$$, but you can find them used.)

p.s. - I just read some responses and your concern is reasonable. If someone hasn't first hand had a child that CAN'T be put down - they just don't understand. The long days - spending the whole day trying to accomplish one task - the screaming baby - while you frantically try to cut up ingredients for dinner. It's exhausting. And yes - most mama's might have a taste of this, but if you top it off with a baby that will only sleep on you to boot - well, now you're describing our kids and moms that start to feel like they are loosing it. You are an awesome mom, b/c you care enough to hold your baby all the time and haven't stopped in 6 months. It is completely reasonable to ask if there are some "tricks" out there to encourage a baby to tolerate not being held - and the folks who basically advised you to "suck it up" and hold your baby - while I'm sure had good intentions - are either super dooper moms, or haven't truly had an infant with such a high demand.

Keep on keeping on ;-)

VERY SOON your little "Cling-On" will be mobile.
Until then, I also suggest a baby backpack, L.L. Bean makes great ones with really good lumbar support. When you're sleep deprived and tired from holding a baby all the time, it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it's coming. I wish I could come over and hold him for you for a little while, I sure do miss those days.

Hi M.,

carrying him in a sling, i.e. "wearing your baby", may help you and your son. You can get stuff done, and he will get a lot of close-to-mom-time, which may help him become more independent soon. I carried/still carry my children in a sling a lot (actually my 8 months old daughter is sleeping in the sling while i type this, and i am sitting on a big gymnastic ball bouncing), and i find this to be a win-win solution.

good luck,

D.

Hi M.,
Try putting him in a backpack and he can watch what you are doing. Put some music on or talk to him about what you are doing. I wouldn't do it for very long--maybe an hour or so. That should help. Also, you can try to cook when he is asleep, or try to get dinner started at that time. Try to take some time with him to get outdoors, even for a short time, bundle him up and maybe put him in the stroller. The fresh air will be good and help him sleep, also gives a little variety to your day. Then maybe he will sit for a short time for you. I remember my kids being like this though too.....hope that helps

Hi M. I am a Mom with 3 girls 7, 5, and 11 months. This happened a little bit with my 3rd child and what my pediatrician told me to do was sit her on the floor occupy her with something and keep doing it. with out picking him up. Also the only other thing I have done that has worked was let her cry. Eventually she figured out that I was not picking her up and she would stop and move on to something else. Good Luck....

I agree with the other posters - some babies just want to be held all the time. Getting a baby carrier like the ERGO will help a lot:

http://store.babycenter.com/product/left+nav+pgroups/shop...

If the ERGO is outside your budget, I like the Moby wrap second best:

http://store.babycenter.com/category/left+nav+pgroups/sho...

My oldest was very independent my youngest is very needy always wants mommy. I purchased a sling by slinglings they are wonderful can be worn several ways and hold up to 40 lbs so it allowed me to cook, clean, etc while holding him. He is now 18 months and very very active and no longer wishes to be held at all. He very rarely will climb into my lap for a quick snuggle so enjoy all the holding and cuddling time now while he wants to and get some sort of sling or backpack so you can cook and run around with your other children.

your baby just wants to be held, and there's nothing wrong with that!!! Try "wearing" him in a sling, you will find your life so much easier with one! My favorites are Over the Shoulder Baby Holder and the Moby wrap, but really any will do. They do take practice and patience, but boy are they worth it! honestly, your baby needs you, please do try wearing him in a sling, it makes him happier and your life easier!

Hi M. - Question, is it specifically being held or wanting to be with you? Can you put him on the floor to play with toys or whatnot if you are there next to him? My 6 monthold loves to be held as well, but she is often happy to crawl around and play with toys if I am right there with her. So I can either get down there with her, and/or I can be doing something else too (i.e. folding laundry) and chatting her, etc. Worth a shot!

I was lucky all my boys have been extremely independent from the get go. I know friends of mine who end up carrying their kids around the house...try a backpack, ergo or something similar. He will outgrow it...but your arms must be exhausted!! I personally would try and get him interested in other things...but I am not in your shoes...so try the backpack! Good luck.

H. Z. (SAHM 5, 4, 15 month old boys)

if he wants to be held, then hold him. if you need two hands to do other things why not invest in a sling so he can be with you when he wishes to be. babies grow up way too fast! soon enough you'll be asking him if you can hold him because he'll be off doing things on his own and not needing/wanting to be held.
ps my daughter who is now a very independent 27yr old, was my appendage for the first year until she started walking. always on my hip. i was a master at doing things one handed. :)

I think the idea that babies should be independent beings that entertain themselves is ridiculous...they are babies, and when they are no longer babies they will not want to be held all of the time. I think some babies want to be held more than others, but it is impossible to spoil or love a baby too much. I would definitely find a carrier though, as this will make your life much easier.

my son, now 21, was exactly the same way. I found out that he was simply bored being left by himself. we lived in an apartment and so I could use a walker when he was that age without any danger of it tipping over. I hung different rattles on door knobs and he moved in the walker from rattle to rattle. that helped a bit. I also tied a cloth activity center to the tray of the walker to keep him busy. the real change came when he started to move and was able to do things by himself. he became really easy after that because he could explore and get himself from point A to point B. I never left him crying for an extended period of time and he has turned into a well adjusted young man who is studying marine biology. but then he was my first child and I didn't have the challenge of having to take care of another one as well. but my husband was a fishermen and gone for days at a time and it wasn't easy
One suggestion I have comes from a friend who had a baby like that years after mine. she carried her son in a carrier strapped to her chest with the baby looking at the world around him. this worked for her.
Good luck and I hope this is just as temporary as my situation was.
(mother of two children in college)

Do some research on "babywearing" (google it on the internet). THere are many different types of slings to wear him in and have your hands free to do things. The website www.askdrsears.com is a great resource, and gives science based reasons to wear your baby.

M.,

My son will be 6 months old next week and he is behaving the same way. Naps about 30 - 45 minutes a couple of times a day. Will play by himself for a few minutes if he can see me in the room, but otherwise likes me to be with him. Even prefers to sleep on me and be carried around. But eventually he does tire and will sit quietly in a swing for a little bit watching the mobile. I think its a phase at this age. I find it frustrating too but I try to remind myself that the day will come soon that he won't want to be held so much and I'll miss cuddling him. Good luck.

T.

It's just a phase. He'll outgrow it. Both my daughters went through it but eventually overcame it.

Hi M.,

I feel your pain! My first daughter would NOT be put down for the first 6 months of her life, not even when sleeping. We used to take shifts all day and night holding her until we finally had to let her cry it out after we tried everything else. Worst time of my life -- and hers, too, I presume.

Anyway, baby number 2 (7 months old) is a lot more independent, but still goes through phases where she wants to be held all the time. I agree with the other moms about wearing the baby, but mine is over 20 lbs already and it just kills my back to have her on my front, plus I don't feel comfortable cooking with the baby so close to the knives, stove, etc. I've just ordered a Beco Butterfly to try wearing her on my back, so that might be a solution for you.

Also, a friend just loaned me a Graco/Baby Einstein activity center and a Jumperoo -- both of which have been lifesavers! She's in the activity center right now, which is the only reason I can sit and type this!!

Good luck to you! If you want to, email me back in a couple of weeks and I'll tell you what I think of the Beco carrier.

M.