A Spoiled Baby Girl!

Get a sling!! BAbies love and need to be held. You can put her in the sling and walk around with her. She'll love it. Once you get the hang of it, you'll love it too.

I don't know if you're breastfeeding, but if you are, you can use it to breastfeed in public. They are great!!

I've not read the other postings, so forgive me if this is repetitive. I've heard a lot of mom's love slings with their newborns so that they are still bonding and being held but moms have the mobility to use their hands. It seems like it may be a win-win for both of you. Just a thought to consider.

She is not spoiled she just want to be loved by you. I am still expericing the same thing with my 4 month old. I sometimes get overwhelmed but at the end of the day it makes you feel really good that she wants to be loved by you.
Good luck

She's not spoiled. It is not possible to spoil a 7-week old. Its just that she feels secure when being held and crying is her only means of communication. It will take some time, and patience, but as she feels more secure and loved it will get better. Think of it as the most precious time of your life. Forget about the housework and serve already prepared foods. Don't put too much responsibility on the 14-year-old, but do get some chores on a chart for all 3 of them and put stickers on when they complete their tasks.

I would agree... your little girl is not spoiled, she just loves being close! We had one of those wonderful baby slings for our second son. He also loved to be held all the time. I used to clean, shop, working on the computer... all sorts of things while he was with me.

get a sling. I think its totally ok to hold your baby when she wants to be held at THAT age.

Baby wanting to be held is not spoiled! My baby wanted to be held constantly, too, for the first 3 months. A sling was a lifesaver. Baby LOVED it and would sleep in it while I carried her hands free for hours. You can do many chores while wearing baby in a sling. She will be right against your body and feel your warmth, hear your heartbeat.
Carrying your baby will not spoil her. My daughter is now 22 months old, and secure enough to be comfortable with different caretakers: she's gone through two nannies, two daycares, and many different babysitters. She's also quite independent. Best!

Hi D.,

My son was the same way... after being through it (he's almost 19 months now) I think it has something more to do with personality than being spoiled, per se. Some babies are more prone to crying than others and need more attention.

If you decide to go the sling route, here is a great place to get one: www.wearingmybaby.com. Catherine makes the slings and she is very nice and personable. I bought one from her but had to return it because it was too big (I had bought the smallest size) and she offered to make me a custom one at no extra cost. The great thing about her slings is that they can be used even when the baby is much older.

E.

She's not spoiled, she's normal. If it is a problem for you though, I'd recommend that you consider getting a baby sling, they are wonderful, the baby is happy, and you have your hands free.

I just think you have two things going on here: Instinct and Temperment. It is basic human instinct for a baby to want to be close to her mommy. After all, without mommy, at a tender young age, she won't survive. Whenever she can get a chance right now, she will try to be close to you because it feels right and and it feels safe.

And then you have your baby's own little personality, which I do believe you are born with. Some babies are just born with a, "Look at me! I'm over here!" type of personality and they learn very early on how to use their voice to get attention but at this age, she's so young that she should have lots of cuddles and bonding time with you. It's really important to her emotional development. If you need some hands-free time for yourself, lay her down while she is awake and pat her back until she falls asleep, get a sling for her to be in while you get your housework done, or hand her off to your husband or 14-year old for a period of time so you can get some R&R.

You've got a lot of information and I agree, you can't spoil a child this young. Her personality is probably more that she needs the extra touch and the security of feeling close. There is something that I read when my little guy was born that said that the first 3 months of a baby were sometimes referred to as the "4th" trimester and that some babies need longer to transition from the harsh reality of being born. They were snuggled up and comfy all the time in the womb then one day.. bam! they are in a cold bright place and sometimes not so near that familiar mommy voice.
Listen to her and like some of the other say.. wear her. She won't be this way for much longer.

She doesn't sound spoiled, she sounds perfectly FRESH! Babies love to be held, and that is a basic need of theirs, HOWEVER, let her cry if you really need to get something done. Put her down for fifteen minutes to take a shower, or make dinner...she won't die if she is left alone (in a safe place) for short periods of time while you get something done. Don't neglect her, but give yourself a break...you can't do it all, especially all at once!

Remember, a baby cannot get "spoiled" under a year old. If you just continue to respond gently and lovingly, she will be much more comfortable and well-adjusted as she realizes that her NEEDS (all they have right now) will be met. People who let their infants cry are raising children who will not trust that someone will be there for them, and therefore they get panicky and cry MORE. So hang in there, she will adjust.
M. C.

Sounds like a baby to me. Your daughter is not spoiled at all. She is a baby! A newborn. Babies this age were meant to be held. She only wants what she should naturally receive. Get a sling. Wear her. It takes a bit of getting used to, but you can be taught. :0) She is more important than getting chores done or having time to yourself. As you know, she won't be a baby for long, so enjoy HER. Sit and hold her. Wear her. Make her your priority. As child #4, she deserves all the time you can give her. You need to change your attitude. She is not spoiled. Her mom is spoiled due to the other kids helping out so much during the summer. It is your turn now. I have four, too, so I know.

I agree with all the ladies who suggested "wearing her". My baby LOVES the Baby Bjorn. I got it when she was 3 weeks old and have used it while out shopping, while cleaning, while cooking, etc. It allows baby to be close to you, (She faces you and snuggles while her head needs the support and can face toward or away from you once she's able to hold her head up.)but you can still do whatever you need to do with both hands. Baby Bjorn is one of the priciest ones out there but soooo worth it- the one with the full back support. I have a weak back but at about 20 lbs. it still does not bother me at all. Also, it is pretty easy to adjust for you or hubby. My husband is abot 250lbs while I'm about 140 and he LOVES to be the one to wear her whenever we're all out together.

Also, remember your baby will only be this needy for a short time. It will be over far too quickly and once it's over, you'll yearn for the days when she just wanted to be held by you.

It does make your day a bit harder, but wearing her makes it much more doable. Good luck with everything- whatever you decide.

PS
A suggestion for the carseat problem: maybe you could try putting her in it while at home and possibly setting it atop the washer while in motion so she can learn to feel soothed in it?

aww spoil her a little longer, I say she is only 7 weeks old, but mom lol she loves you , and its not your time to do something its babys time give it another month or sooooooo.. let the house work get done by your magic fairies LOL

It is 100% IMPOSSIBLE for a 7 week old to be spoiled! YOur baby just spent 9 months in a safe, warm place going everywhere with you. Now it has just been 7 weeks and everything feels strange to your little one. Some babies just need extra comfort and to be able to smell you or hear you breathe. Invest in a baby bjorn and it will be the best money you ever spent. My daughter would spend hours in hers and she is now a very well adjusted, happy little girl. Then start off small by placing her in her swing or wherever happiest with the shirt you are wearing up next to her face. Sit there for a while and let her feel you and see you. Then gradually work away from that. I understand that having a baby attached to you so much can make life a little difficult...but you can't spoil a baby that young!

D.,

You should enjoy the days where the baby WANTS you to carry them. My son is now 14 months old and doesn't want me to carry him anymore. All he wants to do is walk all over the place on his own. I already miss carrying him!

And I agree, you can't spoil them. They are too young. I used to carry my son all the time. Now he's running all over the house!

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http://gagazine.com

Hi D., Have you tried "wearing" her in a sling? Dr. Sears has information about baby "wearing" and it worked very well for me and my son. He was very happy, calm and content when I had him in the sling. The sling I used is the SlingEZee...you can find it online and it will support the weight of a toddler up to 35 pounds. I wish you all the best. R.

Enjoy it! :o) That being said, it doesn't mean that she's spoiled - babies just need to be held! My first was like that; my second less so, but still wants to be held a lot. I just try to think that in a few years, they won't want it anymore... Plus, holding my babies when they cried hasn't resulted in any longterm "spoiledness" - my daughter is 3-1/2 and very well-adjusted and well-behaved, and my son seems to be on the same track.

I've "solved" a lot of the problem with a sling and a Baby Bjorn. You can do a lot carrying baby around in there - not as easily as if you were baby-free, but more than when you're just holding her!

Good luck!

She is not spoiled! She just wants to be held. At this age you don't get a lot of play on your own time. It's just too early. Hold her. This will pass very soon.

She isn't spoiled. She is very tiny and used to the womb. She needs the closeness of you. If you need to do things around the house then put her in a snuggli or baby bjorn.

I am a firm believer in letting babies cry a little! It is possible for infants to get "spoiled" by being held or catered to, too much. I am 34 and have 4 children of my own and with the last 3 had them on a feeding schedule, which i cant tell you how much it helped, because its more than just feeding them at a certain time thriughout the day, its about integrating the new baby into the schedule that your existing fam. already has! Your baby shouldnt be the center of the universe for your fam.but an added joy for all. Keep doing what your gut tells you. Let her cry a while before going to her. Think about getting a play pen something small that you can fit anywhere you are or go and begin putting her in there for small amounts of time each day then gradually get longer with the times shes in there, kids need boundaries and to feel secure, sometimes they feel unsure and thats why they need to be attended to so much, but with time she will learn to entertain herself and feel content with where ever she is. Now some of us have a hard time hearing a baby crying but its normal and the y really do need it. If you can take some crying now about 2-3 weeks it will be better in the long run. Then you will be able to do the things around the house or with your other kids that you need to do!Also, i believe moms know when theres something wrong, listen to her cry and determine if its a hungry cry or tired cry, or something else.There is a website you can go to to look at a particular feeding schedule that i used for my kids, (i wouldnt have been able to do without it)its www.gfi.org(growing families international) read about it and see if its for you they have the curriculum you can buy right off there
Hope this helps!
Blessings

First of all, you cannot spoil a baby!! It's impossible-- they don't have the cognitive reasoning to associate anything with manipulating. However, crying is the only way the baby can communicate she has a need, and it's crucial to respond to those cries so she can build trust in you (the essential developmental emotional skill of infancy). She is telling you something!

Have you invested in carrier? That way you can "wear" her and keep her close, yet have your hands free.
I have many (my kids were adopted from Korea and it's custom there to wear babies for many hours per day). But my favorite is called the Chunei-- it's a torso carry so it doesn't put pressure on your back. I ordered mine through www.ihosausa.com. They are kind of on the pricier side but again,soooo comfortable and very well made.

I might also make sure there's nothing physical going on such as colic or ear infection.

Good luck and pick up and love on that baby-- when you meet her needs so consistently, she will actually grow up more independent!

A baby can't be "spoiled." Please don't label her that way and then set up a "stigma" toward her. This will affect her whole life otherwise, by the attitude people have toward her. Not saying that you do this... but sometimes adults expect too much from a baby/child, and it's really not appropriate.

Babies just love to be held, it's a natural thing.

You can gradually just let her get used to being put down.. like you are and put her in a swing, on the floor, or other things. She may cry or grumble about it... but it's just because she wants to see you and be near by. As long as she is not in distress... and you are a few feet away... try just soothing her with your voice.... modulate your voice so as to provide a soothing tone for her... I would do this if say I had to wash the dishes and what not.

Being that she is so young... this is normal. She's only an infant. They also tend to dislike being in the car or in their car seat... it's a phase and will get better as she gets older. My son did this too.

They just need comfort... through being held, through using your voice, by being able to "see" you etc. In time, she may get more comfortable about being put down. But it takes patience.

If you need to do things around the house, there is nothing wrong with having to put her down, near you.... she may cry..but at the same time, you do need to wash dishes, wash clothes, fold the clothes, handle the mail & chores around the house. It's not unreasonable to put her down near you when you have to do these things. All Moms go through this from time to time.

Or play music, which distracted my daughter when I had to do chores. Other Parents just "wear" their baby on them with a sling... so this is another option. For me, my children hated the slings... so it didn't work. But just try it.

Good luck though, I know it's not easy...but perhaps your baby also needs to adjust to not seeing your older children around as much now that they are in school too.

All the best,
Susan

My baby loved the sling. I liked it because it kept my kids close to my body and let them feel secure, not to mention the weight distribution so my back never ached from carrying them. Hold your little pumpkin while you can. In a while, she may be too independent for Mom!
Good luck and congratulations.

Can you try carrying her in a sling? I used the moby wrap and loved it. It keeps baby close and you still have your hands free to do what you need. My daughter loved being held and close too!! It's in their nature.....they want to be loved and held. I hope you figure something out that works best for mommy and baby.

I understand what you are talking about, but I also think a 7 week old does need a lot of holding overall.

When my babies need to learn something (or re-learn) I give them a chance to practice.

In this instance, when you get a chance to spend close time with her without having to actually do something else, hold her and then, even though you don't "need" to, gently put her down with comforting words, like, "mama will be right back" or "look at ..." or something to that regard. Take a few steps away, keeping eye contact and giving reassuring words so she knows you're not abandoning her. Each time you try this (not over and over and over all the time so she feels like a lab rat, of course), go a little further, say a little less, but celebrate all of it with her.

I saw my son experience what you have every time we visited grandparents. (He is now almost 11.) Our 8 month old daughter teaches me again and again the need to practice stuff for her sake now and then. We are currently working on how she is to act when told "no" or "stop." Be patient, gentle, encouraging, and celebratory, even when it is horribly difficult. Get others to practice with her too. It's not just you she enjoys so much, I'm sure.

Blessings and a peace that passes understanding!

In my opinion there is no way to spoil an infant. Your daughter is just more verbal about expressing her needs! A sling (ring sling, wrap, etc. - check out mamtoto.org) may help you get more accomplished throughout the day, while giving your daughter the contact that she needs.
Take heart! If you're able to meet her needs in this way, you will have a very well adjusted, attached little girl.

D.,
Let me commiserate! I've got a 9 week old baby girl with the same problem! I got a baby bjorn carrier and started carrying her around the house. She loves it, and goes right to sleep in it, and I can keep my hands free to do what I need to do. I also figured out that I was eating some things (I'm breastfeeding), that were making her very gassy and uncomfortable. Things are now much better. I've also figured out that she seems to be much more comfy sleeping on her tummy (I only do it during the day where I can watch her, not at night). She seems to be a much happier baby now, lots less crying and having to be held. Maybe some of these suggestions will help? Good luck!

I know how you feel. my daughter is 4 months and she went through the same phase. All I did was continuously put her in her bouncer, then exersaucer then jumper than on the floor with toys and I started over again and again. She will cry alot and you might to but she will grow out of it.

Your baby needs to be held - so hold her.

I can't even imagine dealing with 4 children and I know it is very hard to not take care of the house. I do not think you are or can spoil a 7 week old. If she was 7 months, maybe, but not that young, she is a bit more needy. I am sure in the next few weeks, she will adjust. Can she fit in a sling or something like a baby bjorn, so you can have your hands free? I am not sure if she will like it, it is worth a try.
I hope things get better for you.
Colette

Can't spoil a baby. Enjoy it while you can. She will outgrow it. Keep rotating her from one place to another. Babies don't usually last in one thing(ie swing, bouncy chair, bumbo..) or another more than a few minutes unless they go to sleep. She really is at an age where she gets what she wants I'm afraid. Maybe get a sling or carrier to help you do other stuff while holding her- though be careful with that, no cooking for example...Anyway... it's just a phase, she'll outgrow it, and you can't hold her too much at that age.

I don't think you can spoil a baby that small. I have too, the first didn't want to be held and the second did. it is their personalities. Like previous people, get a sling. that is what I had to do. She just has the personality where she wants to be in contact with people all the time. How is that spoiling, to want human contact and love.

Perhaps you don't remember b/c your other children are older, but babies thirve on being held. I have a 6 month old and it was hard in the beginning and she hated the carseat but now everything is much easier. She plays on her play mat and enjoys going in the car (if she's rested & fed). I just let the house go to some degree when she was really young b/c this time is precious and it will be over. Sounds like you need to get a good baby carrier. She will love being with you while you move about and you can get some stuff done. I used the moby wrap (great for very young) and the tried & true Ergo Baby Carrier. When they're young and you use that you can put their legs in like a "frog" . I used it and still do a lot for getting her to sleep also. Good luck and enjoy your alone time with your baby!

D.,

You CAN NOT spoil a baby, since their sensory (hearing, seeing etcl) are not fully develop they relly on your touch. If you have her on her swing talk to her while you're doing something else. If this dose not work, I got a baby backpack and strapped my baby to it while I did house work she normally would fall sleep and I would just put her down for a nap.Good luck

the first couple of months is the bonding time for you and your baby alot of mother take 3months off from work to bond with the babies. At 7 weeks old this little baby is probably wondering where your other children are and trying to adjust the same you are to the change. when i had my children i had a friend come over and help me with some of my house chores,run errands,go to the store for me. she was a big help. my time for myself was when the baby was sleeping. when my husband was home from work he would help me also this was his bonding time with the baby and it gave me some extra time too. it kinda made it seem like i wasnt overwhelmed and i was able to enjoy my baby. i read other mothers suggest a sling and that is a good too.

i don't think your baby is spoil. a lot of babies like to be held all the time. my baby boy was like that too when he was younger. i bought a hotsling to carry him around with me while i do things around the house and he seems to like that.

Dear D.,

Well, my very best advice to you is to let her cry and comfort her if you can, then let the tears come. Maybe she is just a child that will cry a lot, maybe she WOULD like to be held, but that is not good either. She will eventually start noticing more of the world and explore it with her eyes, then her little body. Just let the crying happen, and get on with your life.
C. N.

No such thing as spoiling a baby. My 12 year old barely lets me hug her...enjoy it.

B.
www.HeyYouGetReal.com

You've had many good advices. My it sounds like you were quite busy as well with the kids being home, and just having given birth. I don't know how things are, but I hope duties & responsibilities are not just your part of the household. I do hope you have the support, in order to recover and spend this relaxing time with your newborn before returning back to work. It's great that you noticed that baby is able to quiet down after a few pats on the back (most of time). Give yourself more credit; and time. Most of all, get some support or a sitter if you find you need some time for yourself.

I agree - if you keep responding to her cries, she'll learn that she can trust you and will be less irritable later on. It's worth the time investment now for the future. Just lower your expectations on the cleanliness of your home or whatnot - your baby is worth the time.

Best of luck.

hi D., although it will be very hard you can not let a crying baby/child control you, being picked up every time they cry is what spoils them. i have a baby that just turned 3 months in my daycare, I gotr her at 6 weeks, i did hold her a lot as a new born, cause I love the way it feels, now I try and get things done while she is a sleep, but if she wakes up and crys and i am in the middle of something of something, i finsih then i go to her, if I didn't I would have things around the house started but nothing would be finished, so don't pick her up e ery time she crys, and break the spoiled habit. J. L.

My second son was wanted me to hold him all the time. I used a "snuggley" baby holder while I did my household chores. She sounds like she is needs to be close right now. She is very young. Try swaddling her and putting a heartbeat toy in the crib or car seat with her when she can't be a baby sling or something like that.

Enjoy her! She will grow up too fast!
H.

Hi D.,

Well you can't spoil a baby:) I would suggest a sling of some kind so she can be close and you can get things done.

She will be your extra special girl so get ready!!!!! No 2 are alike! Also you will want to keep an eye on when she cries. Acid Reflux is common and often the first sign is the kids cry when fed and also when they lay down. Often then need to be in an upright position.

Maybe a BabyBjorn carrier, lots are on E-bay.

Hang in there,
H.

The BEST thing about babies is that they are very easily retrained with a little bit of love and patience. :o) Right now she needs to know you're there. So, spend some baby time on the floor with her (playing and talking with her). Then after a bit (depending on how she does) walk a little away from her, so that she can still see you and do something (vacuum, dust, pick up) talking all the while. What to talk about? Your day, silly stuff, whatever she will not care! Ease her into it. Soon, you'll be able to walk into the kitchen (out of her sight, yet her not out of yours) and do something in the kitchen for a while. The same thing hold's true if you want to put her in the swing or bouncy. Spend time with her talking/playing than little by little do something else around her. Vacuuming usually works well! My babies were always in their bouncy on the counter as I cleaned my kitchen. Some days were better than others. On those "others" I'd just have great snuggle time and do my cleaning when she was sleeping! Good luck!

I have identical twins, and one of them was like that... She cried CONSTANTLY if she wasn't held, I wore her around the house in a baby bjorn all the time.

It turns out, she was in pain from a severe dairy allergy. Even though she was breast fed, the cows milk I was drinking was affecting her so badly that she started having bloody stools. I immediately took her to the doctor who said that it was allergy related, she was probably very uncomfortable all the time which accounted for her fussiness. Long story short, I stopped eating dairy and she was like a different baby! My advice is rule out that she might be uncomfortable from something chronic.

Best of luck to you!
S.

Hi D., At 7 weeks a baby cannot be spoiled. A pat on the back isn't going to cut it. She needs to be fed every 3 or so hours and needs to be held when she want to be. When you get around 4 or 5 months you can do what your doing. She needs to be held by you so she can learn to bond with you and later others. Good luck.