Stuborn 3 1/2 Old Not Getting Out of Bed in the Morning

I'd try simply putting him in big boy pants all night long. I had a similiar issue with my son. If he had on a pull up, he would pee in it. So, I switched to real underwear. But, after going on himself a couple of times, he decided he just didn't like it and has since used the potty every time. I would just explain to him that now he is too big for pull ups. Put plastic sheets on his bed, be prepared for a couple wet mornings, and I will bet the problem will go away.

It's probably time to stop putting the pull-ups on him. You might have to deal with a couple of accidents, but you're so close to being all the way done with potty training!

Hi Michele,
If you know for sure that he is dry and then just lying awake there until he goes I would get rid of the pull-ups. If he wets the bed in the morning (and you are sure he is awake when he does it) just say "oh man your 'Bob the Builder' sheets (or whatever) are all wet. You'll have to help me change the bed now." Having it happen might be enough to make him decide that he really doesn't like a wet bed. Just remember that every once in a while it could happen for no reason at all. Good luck to you.

I haven't read through all the posts, so I am probably repeating someone else's response, but I would suggest putting him in underwear. My son who is almost 3 went through the same thing. He was completely potty-trained except for first thing in the morning he would pee in his pull-up. So we just "bit the bullet" and put a wet protector over his mattress pad and put him in underwear. He did not like peeing in his bed and getting everything wet. It took about 4 days of changing sheets for him to get into the new habit of getting out of bed to pee when he wakes up, but it worked. Good luck!

You've already gotten most of the advice I would have given. If you think there's a power struggle involved, try to not react emotionally at all, but just be matter-of-fact. "Oh dear, you pee'd in the bed, time to help clean up." I'll just add, is he going to bed early enough? Could lack of sleep be causing him to want to stay in bed in the morning?

Well, you might not like my answer but I think it's the best solution. Get him out of diapers. Simple. You stated that he doesn't need them at night but is using them as his crutch in the morning. Pull Ups, in a way teach kids that it is still ok to go in their pants. Obviously, going "underwear at night" will mean clean up in the morning for you, but I don't think it will take long before your son "gets it." I'd suggest towel layers on his bed, a mattress pad, and a washable blanket.

Also, when your son has his morning accidents in his bed, have him help you clean it up. NOT a favorite thing for kids to do and they will learn to stop this behavior.

Good Luck!!!!

D.

Hi Michele,
All the potty training battles get so frustrating, don't they? With my daughter it often seemed like when things got to just be a power struggle, it worked better for me to step back a little bit. Little kids want so desperately to have control over SOME things in life, and we parents just can't make them go potty so frequently the kiddos decide that's one thing they will control. Does he get many other choices about his day? These don't have to be big things, just "the red socks or the blue?" but that seems to help kids let go of other power struggles a little bit. I do agree with the other posters about switching to undies and having him help you change the sheets, but maybe take a break for a week before you try that so you both have some time to cool off about the issue.
One other thought is that maybe for some reason he's scared to get out of bed by himself, especially in the dark? Also, be careful what you wish for with him getting up by himself, as he may decide to get up and stay up -- not fun when it's 6am and you don't need to get up until 8! (Speaking from personal experience with my little one, anyway!)
Good luck to you!
Sara

It sounds like he's simply not a morning person. Either am I, and even when I was a little kid, I was slow to get out of bed.

If you know he's awake, why not simply go get him and bring him to the bathroom, so he can go in the toilet?

If you know for a fact that's he's dry overnight, and his pull-up isn't wet until the morning, THROW OUT the pull-ups.

Seems like the common advice is to get rid of the pull ups and make him 'help' clean up if he still goes.

I have more of a question than advice. My question is- how do you then make him 'help'? I mean if its this 'power struggle' that he wets the bed in the first place, how much more of power struggle is it gonna be to make him carry wet stuff to the washer?

Good luck with whatever you decide!

I agree with Diane. Don't put him in a Pull Up. I layered a couple towels and a garbage bag under my son's fitted sheet so if he wet-- so be it, we just changed the sheets and towels. With your boy though it sounds more like a power struggle. If he lays there and wets without a Pull Up on then make him help you clean up.

michele, this is when you get up , and pick him up when he is asleep, and carry him into the bathroom and pull his pants down and sit him on the toilet, and hold him as he wakes up and pees in the toilet, he does not get up till he is done, it should not take long, also pull-ups almost dont help, get a nice matress protector, and put him in big boy panies, when he wets the bed, the consequences are he is to help wash the bedding, and carry it to the laundry and put it in the wash, note the word help there, he cant do it all by himself, but it can help him learn the consequences of him peeing the bed, let him pick out his underware, he might be so proud not to pee in them, dont shame him though and i had 3 boys, and each of them did not finish potty training till around 4, so be patient and hang in there, but sitting him on toilet early in morning before he wets might help, and he could be in a deep sleep and unable to get up too, so keep trying and keep working with him, sounds like you are doing a great job, sounds like you got most the tricks down, keep up the good work, and hang in there, D. s

In the scheme of things this is not something I would be too concerned about. Eventually he will get tired of the wet feeling in his pants and start using the bathroom. My almost 4 year old son still wears a diaper at night. I have two friends with 5 and 6 year old boys. The 5 year old still needs to wear a diaper at night and the 6 year old occassionaly wets his bed. Be patient, all of this is going to seem trivial in 5 years - wait until they are teenagers!

As far as the potty training thing... don't stress out about it. I asked my daughter's pediatrician last year at her 4 year check up and she said not to worry too. Sometimes it can take a while for them to gain control of this. I know it's in the morning, but he's probably so tired that he can't get up by himself. Eventually he will. My daughter is still in pull ups most nights, unless she choses to try without. She does stay dry (finally) and will get herself up during the night to go, or hold it until morning. (she'll be 5 in Dec.) My son has been difficult to potty train too, but from what everyone says... it's best not to stress about it. As inconvienient as it may be to have still change diapers or use pull ups, when it comes down to it this issue is one of the only things these little guys actually have control over in their world. And as far as him not getting up in the morning... you could try setting a timer for 10 minutes or whatever you choose, and if this goes off and he's still not out of bed, he gets a time out. That could be a stronger motivation than a sticker for him. ??? Or maybe have him pick a special breakfast item that he can choose if he gets out of bed nicely in the morning. You will find what works for him and what works for you too! Good luck!

Michele, I say you should praise GOD that you have a child that stays in bed! My son never NEVER did. Boys are different and most Dr's will tell you that accidents will happen until they are 8 at least, he will start getting up to potty when it starts bothering him. I wouldn't stress about it too much