My son is going to be three next month. He has been occasionally (not all the time) using potty seat and potty chair in day time. He still wears a diaper when he goes to bed because I don't think he can hold it until morning (indeed his diaper is soaking wet every morning). Am I sending him inconsistent message?? Should he wear an underwear even though he makes a big mess?
I decided to keep diapers for night time. The pull-ups are good for daytime training but I heard that they do not absorb as much as diapers ( so should not be used as a subsitute for a diaper). Actually, some kids get yeast infections by using pull-ups. Waking him up during night time is out of question for me. He goes to preschool 5 days a week, and nice restful sleep is very important for him. We decided to focus on daytime training first and then work on night time later as some moms suggested.! Thanks for your help!
Hi M.!
What about training pants (Pull-Ups)? He can step in and out of them like underwear and they resemble underwear. Do you have a cut-off time in place for drinking in the evening? My son was less wait or dry in the morning when we used a cut-off time.
It takes a little longer for them to be able to hold it all night. I'm in the process of training my girl who will be three in Oct. I read a book that said to wake them in the middle of the night and have them use the potty. Also don't give anything to drink after dinner. Good Luck; I feel your pain!!
I'll jump in here with another point of view. My 5yo daughter was toilet trained for BMs by 22mos, and urine by 28mos. HOWEVER, she is in a pull-up at night. She transitioned from night-time diapers to night-time pull-ups at about age 3. She has a full 8oz of warm milk every night right before bed. I refuse to wake her up even once during the night in order for her to use the toilet. It is much more important to me that she gets a restful sleep than has a wet pull-up. She has had no problem with wearing panties during the day + pull-ups at night. I figure when she no longer wants/needs the night-time milk, the pull-up will soon go, too. But, for me, I'd rather pay for pull-ups than wash sheets every day.
I think you should let him wear underwear at night. When I was potty training my son thats what I did. He is 5 now. It will be bad for you at first because you have to wash sheets and everything but my son hated being wet. It made him uncomfortable. It made him used to waking up because he could feel it. Oh yeah - i put one of those like plastic mattress covers on too so the mattress would get soaked cause they are harder to clean. :-)I also had to monitor what time I cut off his last drink. Every child is different but that was just my experience.
My son will be 5 in November and last September was when I decided he should be going to bed without a diaper. He was waking up with a dry diaper a few times a month, we praised him and gave him small treats as a reward. It takes patience, a little sleep loss, and alot of laundry soap training them to go without diapers 100% of the time. I started by waking him up 3-4 times a night (sometimes I was late), even if he was wet I would still take him in to pee, eventually we worked down to 2, and now sometimes he goes himself, and if he had alot to drink that day I still wake him up before I go to bed. We still have accidents and he was scared to tell me he had one but I told him that he wouldn't be in trouble for having accidents that it's just a part of growing up and he's not afraid to tell me about them anymore. Trust is something you will also need to have for this too, I think that kids need to be very certain that they won't be in trouble if they don't succeed the first couple of times. Good luck and hope this has been helpful.
It seems to me that you are doing the right thing. Your son is only 2 1/2 years old, he's going to have accidents, some older kids even have accidents at night. That's why they have the overnight diapers for bigger kids who have those accidents, so that they can stay dry. So, even if your child is 3, he can wear those, or diapers to stay dry at night. In the daytime, if you want to put underwear on him so he can use the potty, that's fine. This takes a lot of time and patience. Some days he will be wet, and some days he will be dry until eventually he will stay dry at night.
Hope this helps.
No you are not sending mixed messages. You can't make him potty train before his bladder is ready. His brain may know what to do, but they may not be working together. The way to really know that they are ready to potty train is when they begin to wake up dry. That is not them holding it (because they are sleep they don't know they have to go), it's our bladder and brain working together. He isn't ready yet. Even though he is three, his bladder is not on board. Give him time. I know it is frustrating, but I've potty trained three and they did it when they were ready (cause Lord knows I was ready before they were). And don't show too much frustration because it may cause stubborness even when his bladder is ready.
NO...most children can't hold it all night. Children sleep much heavier than adults and he's just learning those sensations, so it won't wake him up. If you put him in underwear over night, he may start to feel bad about himself and potty training because he's "failing". Also, children's bladders are significantly smaller than an adults, think last month of your pregnancy small. He may have to get up several times during the night to go, just to avoid accidents. Most pediatricians agree that until your child goes to sleep and wakes up dry, the diaper stays. This can be until age 5 or 6 for some children because of week muscle development of the bladder (nothing you or they did). If by 4 he still is waking up soaked...talk to your doctor, they'll tell you if it's still okay or if they want to treat it. For now, be happy your son is doing so well (for boys 3 can be young)!!
Dear M.,
My daughter turned 4 in June and she has only achieved night-time dryness 90% of the time in the last two months. She'll go for about two weeks keeping her pull-up dry, then have an accident in the middle of the night. I was very frustrated trying to get her to this stage, and I looked up bedwetting (for lack of a better term0 on the internet and got some great information from childdevelopmentinfo.com.
My mother's solution was to keep me dehydrated. I swear she gave me about 9 ounces of fluid a day. My glass was the size of a shot glass, and I don't remember drinking all that often. I refuse to use this technique because of health reasons and because I think it is cruel.
You might want to switch to a pull-up rather than using a diaper. Only you can decide if you want to use a pull-up (my choice because it is easier) or let him wet the bed (I don't want to wash sheets and waterproof mattress covers everyday). Just keep in mind he's only three and I don't know how much he can help you change the bed everyday.
What has been working for my daughter is fluids restricted after dinner (but if she has been running around getting hot, I let her have a small drink), and doing "night-lifting", I take her potty before I go to bed, and her father takes her when he wakes up in the morning--otherwise she is up at 6:00 am to go potty and that is too early for me. I think she has too issues that obstruct her goal of nighttime dryness on her own: being a sound sleeper and heredity. Scientist have done studies that some kids are very sound sleepers and just can't wake up when their bladders are full. And this has nothing to do with the deep sleep that people with sleep apnea have. Of course, you need to decide what you are grateful for. I am very grateful that my daughter is a good sleeper and she'll get better night-time dryness eventually. Also, her aunt and one of her cousins wet the bed until they were seven, so I'm wondering if this tendency came from her grandmother (though she denies it). As far as I can tell, their mothers did nothing to help them stay dry at night. Most doctors don't consider bedwetting or not be able stay dry all night a problem until the child is 6 or 7, and I'm disappointed to learn that the hormone therapy isn't that effective.
To help your son during the day (since he seems to be still "hit or miss") you might let him watch a potty video such as "Potty Power"; my daughter still consults her copy on occasion. And this sounds yucky, but put a potty in his playroom. That way when he needs to go he won't have to stop playing for so long. A friend of mine did this with her daughter. She was four before she was potty trained and it was because she was too busy playing or watching TV to go use the toilet.
Hope this helps, and don't get discouraged. Boys take longer than girls.
A.
I just finished potty training my 3 yr old grandson, Archie. I allowed him to wear training pants all day,however I walked him to the bathroom every two hours. Of course sometimes he said he didn't have to go, but we went anyway. It's the same thing at night. YOU havae to get up a few times to take him to the bathroom. And especially the first thing when he wakes up or you get him up. Once you get the idea over that wetting should be done in the bathroom he will catch on. The next thing is if he wets his under wear inbetween going to the potty let them stay on him wet for five minutes or so. It should not feel comfortable.
I am a mother of 3 children and 2 of them are potty trained. I think you should allow him to wear the underpants at home, and so that he can begin to get used to wearing the underpants. And every couple of hours put him on the toilet, also allow him to go to the bathroom w/you. And when you pee pees/boo boos on the potty celebrate a whole lot!
My daughter was nearly 3 when she completed her potty training. I also put her to bed with a diaper. I think it does send mix messages. It's okay to pee in your pants if your sleeping. Instead ask him to wake you up if he needs to go potty. My daughter did and never wet the bed. after 3 nights of waking me up she asked to wear big girl undies to bed. If he should wet the bed try not to make a big deal out of it. Maybe put a water proof item down just in case and have extra linens available. Good luck.
Read the book "Mommy I have to Potty"
