Step Daughter a Spoiled Brat

I agree with what others have told you and think you are on the right track to have a meeting with the father and grandmother. My $.02 is that the meeting should also include the mother and the mother's b/f and any other adults she is manipulating/able to pull into her web. The parents need to agree with each other so there is consistency in their homes and grandma also has to buy in since the girl is living with her. You and the mom's b/f are moral support only.

Good luck.

Okasy I think that your b/f has no back bone. It sounds like when things get tough he gives in. Who is the parent? He also needs to tell his mom to back off. He did not tell her how to be a parent to him. My mom has been great in that respect. The rules that are set in my house are also in her house. It sounds like the 14 year old thinks that when things get tough she can run to grandma. She needs a hard dose of reality that grandma is not always going to be there. It also sounds like she knows how to push the buttons and has been doing so for a long time. Old habbits are hard to break but now is a good time to break them. It also tells you something is going on when the mother sides with her b/f rather than face off with her child. To me it sounds like she has been pushed to the side and forgotten about and this is her way for getting the attention she seeks.
Maybe taking her shopping or out to lunch for some one on one time. Maybe that will help her to open up to you and her to respect you.
The other thing that I think you should do is seek a therapist or someone who can help address these issues. The birth mother needs to be included in on this especially since it sounds like she is shutting her out.

It might be stressful for you but it also sounds like this is her way of getting the attention that she was not getting from her parents. Grandma giving really is not helping the situation so maybe you and your b/f need to talk about your apporach to grandma.

Hope this helps, maybe gives you some ideas.

Hi H., I feel for you. First of all has she always been like this or has this started in the past few years. If this is a farely new problem maybe there is an underlying problem. Maybe she is acting out becuase there is something else wrong and she is not quite sure how to tell someone. However, if she has been like this all her life then your b/f needs to stand up and be a man. He is the parent not his mother, all he has to do is go get her and bring her home and lay dwon the law. The very forst thing he does is take away all of her priviledges and she has to earn them back. No giving in no matter what. I am saying he has to do this because this is his kid she definetly will not listen to you. It will be unbearable at times but that is what comes with being a parent, and in the end she will respect him and everyone. The grandmother just has to be told to stayout of it until the stepdaughter is undercontrol. If she is any kind of a woman she will realize this has to be done. Good Luck!!

Sounds rough and a lot to deal with. I would probably slap her around (repeatedly!!)....I, like you, have N. patients for brats. Keep your chin up and do the best you can. I hope that she doesn't come between you and your b/f. Good Luck!

I have no answer for you but i believe you are doing the right thing!

I can't imagine what you are dealing with, but I came from a divorced home too. I personally think it is very hard for a young girl to deal with mom and dad having a boyfriend/girlfriend and especially with other new siblings. This could be her acting out because she has no other way to get her parents attention. Be patient with her, it is more difficult than you might think.
Best of luck.

H., having a blended family, I know how absolutely difficult it is for you in this situation. It took years for my husband to get to the place that he was able to see he needed to set firm limits, but even now it is difficult for him to do so. Guilt and fear are two things that ran rampant in my home and are surely in your own. I'd love to discuss this with your further so please feel free to email me. After 12+ years of being the wicked step mother, I have a few tricks up my sleeve that are sure to help you. Infinite Blessings! Kristy