Making Your Child Give up Their Room/bed for Out of Town Guests

Yes my kids have often been forced to give up their beds for older guests. They didn't always like it but too bad.
Think totem pole hierarchy,
elderly come first, then parents, then kids.
When people start letting the kids' comfort rule the roost?
Oh brother, I wouldn't want to be in THAT family :-(
ETA: sorry Katrina A but I HIGHLY disagree. The kids have full run of the house, everything here is built around them. So if grandma and grandpa come for a visit they deserve a comfy bed and the kids can literally sleep anywhere. And I would NEVER send my in laws to a hotel! I absolutely love and respect them, and teach my kids to do the same, we WANT them here. Children can sleep anywhere, (hell, so can I) and there is no way I'd allow them to put their grandparents OUT OF THE HOUSE just because they are too selfish to give up their "space" for a few nights.

The kids are brats and the parents have let them become that way by giving into their whining.

I'd hate to meet these spawn.

You know why I love my 6-yr old? Because he always, willingly, and of his own accord offers his bed to his little buddies that stay over. My 8 & 6 year olds have bunk beds. From a very early age, whenever either boy has friends over, the youngest has offered up his bed and slept on a pallet on the floor. Yes, he is a great kid. Going to pat myself of the back now. :)

Absolutely, kids should give up their beds for invited guests. But more importantly, they should WANT to! I don't generally give up my master bedroom, but for my 96-yr old grandmother, I most certainly would without a second thought!

We have a true guest bedroom with an actual bed, dresser, side tables, etc. When we have more than one guest (which happens often), one of the girls will go sleep in the other girl's bedroom (they have double beds, plenty of room for two). Seriously, a 12 and 14 yr old were THAT selfish? I have almost 12 and almost 14 yr olds and I would be mortified, absolutely mortified, if they did something like that. Not only is it fair to ask a teen/preteen to give up their room, THEY should OFFER it without even being asked.

I can't imagine how angry I would be at them if they threw a hissy fit about giving up their room for a guest. I would NEVER take an elderly guest to a hotel and leave them there. You don't invite someone to come visit and then kick them out of your house because your spoilt brat kids won't be gracious for a few nights. Unbelievable on all counts. A blow up bed? Really? For a 90 year old? Take her to a hotel? My mind is blown. That is messed up.

I can't believe how rude, selfish and entitled these kids were. They should have offered their great grandmother their beds because it would be the decent thing to do. Not only did your cousins handle this situation wrong, but to raise such awful kids they have been doing things wrong for a long time.

If we had the honor to have a 90 year old grandmother come and stay with us, she would of course be given the most appropriate bed for HER needs!

Good grief. This should not even be considered any other way.

Who are these people? Are they just completely clueless?

Maybe it is a Southern thing, but if there is no designated Guest room with a proper bed, the kids would always be expected to give up their room for guests, no discussion it is just expected and we gladly do this..

We treat guests as royalty.. And we love it!

My kids never would have had the choice in the the first place, and grandma never would have spent the night on the blow up. They are guests, they get treated well. When grandpa stays with us one of my sons gives up his room, we tell them which one and they get no say. when my mom comes with her husband my husband and I give up our bed, and we sleep in one of the kids rooms and they bunk together. I think it was rude to make grandma be on the blow up at all, she is too old for that. The kids need a major lesson in respecting their elders, in respecting their parents, and in being grateful for what they have and not acting so entitled.

They made a 90 year old sleep on an air mattress? You have got to be kidding me! My daughter wouldn't have been given a choice, it would be give up your bed for a couple of days. Geez.

I mean, we don't have guest rooms, and our usual guests sleep on our pull out couch, but if my grandma was coming to visit, there's no way her back/hip/etc could handle it and she would get someone's bed, probably my daughters because it has the nicest mattress. (well my son's is a crib...so grandma wouldn't fit, hee)

What snotty kids. Sorry, but I just can't believe they made a 90 year old sleep on an air mattress on the floor.

We don't have a guest room. So my son who has a queen sized bed often gets to "camp out" in our bedroom on an air mattress or in his small tent when we have guests.

If my husband's grandmother who is 90 and very active like your grandmother came to visit. She could stay in either of our children's rooms or in our room and we could bunk with the kids.

Even as teenagers (wait, especially as teenagers) they should be able to understand why grandma needs a real bed to sleep in and not an air mattress.

I think everyone messed up. Someone should have given her their bed.

There is NO WAY my 90 year old grandparents would be placed on a blow up bed while my kids slept in a regular bed, heck I would have given up my bed for my grandparents. Now, I do have a 91 year old grandpa just like Betty White too, but NO WAY, would they be sleeping on an air mattress.

The kids don't make the rules in our house, they follow them.

Oh my goodness what parent wouldn't make sure that their teens or whomever, give up a room for a ninety year old woman? That is parents who fear their children. We should all and I mean all of us have respect for older people and children should be taught that.

1. I think it's assinine that your cousin didn't kick one of the kids out of their room for Grandma.

2. I think it's even more assinine that, if they can afford a hotel room, they don't have a real bed in the "guest room."

I don't think it was handled appropriately at all. I think they gave CHILDREN entirely too much power and were disrespectful to Grandma.

If it were my home, I'd have the kids bunk together and put Grandma in the room with the largest bed. After the owner of that room had cleaned it and changed the sheets and bedding for her. My kids would have done so without complaint, and proudly shown Grandma to "her" room.

First, it's not a 'guest room', if there is a blow up bed in there. Second, the kids shouldn't have to give up their room (how clean is it anyway?!?!). YOUR COUSIN should have given up his bed for grandma!!! He should have volunteered to sleep on the blow up bed. Plus, Grandma could have had the master bath to herself! Geesh!

Stories like this make me more and more grateful for the kids I have. Maybe they wouldn't be THRILLED to give up their space, but they would (and have) gladly done so for guests. We do not have a guest room set up, but two of our three children have double beds, and the youngest has a twin...they share space when we have guests.

Those kids sound awful, and the exact type of person I would tell my kids to avoid...and shame on your cousin and his wife for continuing to feed into their behavior. God bless the people who have to deal with them outside of the home.

Wow! When I was a kid, I remember my sister and I taking my bed APART and taking it downstairs and putting it together in the corner of the living room because our Grandma couldn't do the stairs after her hip replacement. Not only did we do this ourselves, but it was our idea. I just can't believe that the kids were not taught about responsibility and respect for your elders. If I were you I would call up your cousin and let him know how inappropriate his actions were, how disrespectful and down right negligible. What if something had happened to grandma? What if she fell crawling to the bathroom or to get help to get up? So many scarey things could have happened!

The only way I wouldn't move my kids is my son because he is autistic and the change in routine would be worse than sleeping on the couch. My daughter would never even think of keeping her bed, she would make it and change the sheets and even give her pillow to her grandma if she was staying the night! and she is only 4. Because that is what we do for grandmas and grandpas..

My heart is so disgusted with your cousin and his wife that...well I don't even know what. Maybe showing this page with its response to him would be a more effective thing to do than yelling at him on the phone. But, a conversation would be had in my family for sure!

What kind of grandkids or kid would allow that?
Ridiculous!
Talk about a lack of respect.

To answer your specific question? Yes.

My kids would not have even THOUGHT to pitch a fit about giving up their beds to their grandmother. Those kids have not been taught respect for elders.

I DO NOT think your cousin and his wife handled this appropriately and hope when they are 90 they also have to roll off a blow up bed in their kids' home!

I think your cousin's children acted horribly and your cousin and his wife should not have allowed them to win this battle. A guest who was invited to your home should be welcomed as much as possible and made to feel at home. A 90 year old woman should never have to sleep on a blow up bed if there is a real bed in the home. These girls acted incredibly selfishly and their behavior was rude and disrespectful.

Furthermore, your cousin's wife had a terrible solution. The grandmother was invited to the home, so to suggest (or rather insist) that she stay in a hotel instead is simply awful. That is not the visit your grandmother had in mind and shows a total lack of respect for her.

Any adult guest in the home should be given one of the daughter's rooms. A younger child or same age guest is fine to use the blow up bed instead, barring any physical limitations.

Your cousin's children sound like total brats.

The family should have bought a more suitable bed way ahead of time for grandma to sleep on, AND future guests. Problem solved.

It's disgusting they made a 90 year old woman sleep on an air mattress.

That being said, I would never give up my bed for someone else's guest, so I wouldn't expect a teen to do it. The parents invited the guest, they should be giving up their bed, so it's the parents who were being bratty and selfish. I'm very uncomfortable and I can't sleep when I'm not in my own bed, so maybe that's why I feel this way. I am still sorry that grandma had to go through that. The parents should have simply bought a more suitable bed for grandma to sleep on, much cheaper than a hotel.

I raised 3 kids (all 2 years apart) and none of them had to ever give up their rooms. Now that they're all out of the house, we have spare rooms, so we invited some relatives, but we are planning on selling the house. This is poor planning at it's worst :(.

We have an actual guest room with a bed, but when situations arise that we need more than one room the rule is that the kids give up their beds to the adults. We also have a media room with a futon, so the kids can sleep there or in each other's rooms.

Of course all those rooms are on the second floor so if we had relatives coming who couldn't do stairs either hubby and I would give up our 1st floor bedroom or we would book a hotel for the guest.

Absolutely the kids should give up their rooms, no discussion needed. Actually, it's not 'their' room, it's a room in 'my' house that I let them use and I get final say on who/what is in it :)

Wrong on so many levels. Cousin knew in advance that grandma was coming and he could have bought a bed for the guest room and had it ready for grandma and her stay. No blow ups and rolling around on the floor especially for a person who had a hip implant.

Children have not been taught the respect their elders. The world does not revolved around them. As my daughter would say, "Only the toilet bowl." They are going to have a hard life to live because of the "entitlement attitude". No one is going to want them around.

No one will be visiting them in the future because the word will get out and they will be on the outside looking in.

I have no more to say on this and be nice so I will end it here.

the other S.

PS My MIL is 94 and I would not do this to her.

Entitlement at its finest. No, the bratty teens do not get priority over a nonagenarian out of town beloved relative. What brats. But yeah, reading down below, why didn't the cousin and wife give up THEIR room!? My parents, who are in their 80s, just came to visit, and we gave up our room for them. That whole family is messed up.

Children that age who don't understand that a ninety year old woman should be treated with respect and consideration are not kids I would want to be around at all. Parents who don't just tell the kids to do what's right when they are acting like asses frankly make me sick.

I bet they have a really happy home that's about to get a whole lot more pleasant with the real teen years bearing down. Entitled kids of this sort are a menace to society and the sad thing is it isn't even their fault.

Indulgence is a form of child neglect IMO.

They'd have lost every single item in their room for a week. Then if that didn't teach them to be grateful for what they had I'd make sure the next time they'd do it for a month. GOOD GRIEF!!!

I can't imagine my kiddos not coming up with this idea on their own, to give up their rooms for GRANDMA!!! I can't imagine how selfish and undeserving these kids truly are.

I'd have told them going in that grandma was taking one of their rooms and it would be the one closest to a bathroom or the one with an en suite bathroom. Grandma comes first.

My brother is coming to visit in a couple of weeks and I've already started deep cleaning the carpet and moving stuff around. My grandson is happy to share his room with his Uncle and that he gets to bunk with us that night.

I think teaching our kids to be grateful and to share is how they grow up to be good adults.

On the other hand, we also have an extra room but we gave the bed to a needy family. We plan on making this a play room so we don't have plans to buy an extra bed. We might get one though, after reading this.

Why didn't your cousin and wife sleep on the air bed?

My kids would get the boot from their room, no question. My kids are only 4 and 7, but I hope they will be decent enough human beings in 6 years to care about their great-grandmother's comfort and safety.
I would be furious if my children displayed that kind of disrespect and they would feel my wrath for sure.

As far as privacy, I would tell them that they could move anything they wanted to the guest room closet or a box for the duration of her visit, and we would be sure that no one interfered with the closet/box/whatever. Beyond that, no way would I let my kids dictate this one. I might consider making them sleep on the floor with no blanket for the night, since that is the comfort level they were forcing on their great-grandmother. Vicious little brats.

That's just appalling. Of course one of the children should have given up a bed for their great-grandmother. If the parents didn't have the spine to parent their children, then they should have given up their room and slept on the air mattress themselves.

You don't invite someone to stay in your home without proper accommodations, and a blow up mattress on the floor is not OK for an adult guest, especially an elderly one.

Welcome to mamapedia!!

Sorry - a "GUEST BEDROOM" does NOT have a blow up bed in it. So it's just a room.

I'm not sure why you got involved in this. You asked for my opinion or thoughts. Here goes:

Personally I think the family should be ashamed of themselves for not being more aware of the situation and being so self-centered...that the girls were allowed to throw a fit - make someone who is family - feel unwelcome in the home? Tells a LOT about the family and who rules the roost.

We have a designated guest room. It has a bed on a frame, with an end table on each side and a lamp on each table, a desk and a dresser in it. We went have extra pillows and blankets in there.

In my home? If you are invited - you are made welcome. If we have more than two (as the guest bed is a full sized bed) we have a pull out sofa and both of my boys would willingly and gladly sleep on the floor to make someone else more comfortable.

Interesting question and I think it'd be more interesting if they didn't have a guest room... The fact that there is a spare room and they didn't think to have a real bed just seems silly. Like someone said, buying a cheap mattress isn't cheaper than footing a hotel bill? Plus the hassle of her being there? Makes no sense. And likely they'll have guests again and can use the bed again... Say there was no guest room and it was the LR couch, then yes, kids double up. It'd be unfortunate if it was for a long time but kids do need to respect their elders. I'm pretty sure my sister and I doubled up at some point. Overall, a grandma on an air mattress on the floor is disrespectful and ridiculous IMO. We had a guest and his two teenage sons a while ago. Our guest room has a big queen. So where were the teenage sons going? My husband thought our daughters should double up. He had a point. There's more to this story so I didn't make them but people doubling up for guests is not unheard of by any means.

"The next morning my cousin told his dds" Why did your cousin call his dentist? "dw"?

Yes your kids should give up their bed to out of town guests who are older than them! Kids can sleep standing up, older people can't.

My kids have never complained giving up their rooms. Doesn't happen often since we have a guest room that actually has a bed. I feel like there is a joke in there somewhere, what do you call a guest room that doesn't have a bed? Yeah I will work on that.

Oh Melanie brings up a good point, I would give up my bed before I would expect someone older than me sleep on a balloon!

Yes its fair to TELL (not ask) you kids to give up their beds; they are kids and your grandma is 90; I gave up my room for older (not necessarily old) and married relatives until I got married and usually slept on a foam mattress on my parents room. Even as a young married couple, if my grandparents would've needed my room then because of physical limitations, I would've asked my husband to move to another room with me, even if my no one had asked me to do so; it's the respectful thing to do.

Good Lord, seriously?!?!

My kids don't think twice about having company use their rooms while they are guests in our home!! We have raised them better than that!!!!! We do have a guest room but my boys have given their rooms/bed to grandparents, older cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. before our guest room was finished.

They would sleep together, on the floor, the couch or in the damn motor home if they had to but they would never allow a 90 y/o to sleep on an air mattress under our roof! And I wouldn't have to "tell" them, they would gladly give it up as a host should.

I not only insisted my 16yo give up his room tonight for some out of town guests, I made him remake the bed and thoroughly clean his room. No way in hell would my kids challenge me like that. There would be no "they wouldn't give up their bedroom" here. I'm pretty laid back in general, but my kids don't manipulate me like that. I would have told the girls one of their rooms was being used for an overnight guest, I would not have asked them.
I read this and told my kids about the situation over dinner. They were horrified the kids in this scenario wouldn't give up a room for her, and I have to say, they were actually ANGRY for that grandmother. In fact, even I was surprised by the strength of their convictions regarding this. They went so far as to say they wouldn't be friends with kids like this.

eta
I am so glad my mother did not raise me the way some people are raising their kids here. Their room is private? Not in my house. They enjoy a certain amount of privacy, but their room essentially belongs to me and their dad, since we pay the mortgage and the bills. They give up their beds because that is what is convenient for the household. I treat my kids with respect but to encourage this kind of sense of entitlement IS what is wrong with kids today, and those of you who wouldn't dare think to ask your kids to give up their beds for a 90 year old are poor excuses for parents. Yeah, I just said that out loud. Good luck in the teen years, they'll be manipulating you all over the place. On the flip side my kids will respect me and be appreciative for what they have.

Well if there is a spare room, they should buy an inexpensive mattress. One night at a hotel you can buy a mattress set. How could anyone put their 90 year old grandma on a blow up mattress. Inexcusable.

That is not acceptable ... unless Grandma would really prefer the hotel room. Growing up, I had the bedroom in the basement, and I was the only one with a double bed. My parents told me I was moving to the basement, getting a double bed and that I would always give up my room for guests. I wasn't even asked, it was just expected.

We are fortunate, in that we have a guest bedroom. If we did not, my boys would simply be told that they needed to be hospitable.

Wow.....my kids would be out of their room so fast for my grandma...same age, and same ability it sounds like. OR I would have rented/bought a real bed for her.

It sounds like it was an extended stay, which makes it hard for someone to leave their room, but a blow up mattress is not acceptable at ALL. No, I don't think it was handled correctly.

I think if they did not have an appropriate space for a 90 year old then they should have made other arrangements to begin with. Guests stay in the guest room, I stay in my room, daughters stay in their rooms...that keeps everyone comfortable. I would have moved my kid's bed in to the guest room before I put grandma in a hotel all by herself.

I personally wouldn't ask my teens to abandon their space. I would give up mine first (I imagine an older guest would prefer my room to a teen room anyway) or, like I said, make proper arrangements at the beginning.

Ditto Doris Day and Kristin C.

Didn't anyone see the movie 16 Candles?
Remember when Jake called Sam and the grandpa picks up cause he is sleeping in her room? LOL
Or the other grandpa sleeping on the top bunk falling asleep to the picture of the poster? LOL

Now that is family accommodations

One of the best movies!

That stinks.

At my house, I have 2 fully furnished guest rooms for any guest who visits located upstairs.

We do not have a guest room, so when we have overnight visitors for a few nights once a year, our kids have to give up their bed/s, bunk together, or sleep in the living room on the couch. I think it's part of the excitement of having guests, and so far, they have viewed it that way too. To me, making sure the visitors are comfortable is absolutely essential and part of showing that you are happy to have them there. The teens not being willing to do that for their own grandmother is really rude.

In my view, there are some down sides to housing close relatives in a hotel, particularly that we would have to arrange transportation to the house and it cuts down on the net time together. Waking up around the same time, sitting together for a leisurely cup of tea/coffee is really nice, I think, and makes the most of a short few days together. A hotel takes away that option. JMO.

I would have told the kids "move over" and that would be that. We are fortunate to have a spare daybed (or to have a mostly not living here young adult) when my mom visits so she's always had a bed vs a mattress on the floor. I think they also realized Grandma's limitations. What worked for other guests did not work for her, and I think that may have been an error in judgement on the adults' part, not realizing how hard it would be on her. I'd be mortified if I made such an error.

I understand not wanting someone in your space, etc. but if it was Grandma not able to get up or my kid moves, my kid moves. But the flip side is how did they get to the point where their teens take precedence over their elder like that? That I think is the bigger issue. You can ship Grandma off to a hotel (and spare her the obnoxious kids, I guess) but the real issue is the entitled children living in his home. Even my stepson gave up his bed for my mother - no blood relation!

Further, moving Grandma to a hotel solves the bed issue, but doesn't make for a very easy or convenient visit, does it? She now has to schlep back and forth. It that really any easier? I'd feel rather unwanted and wonder why I made the trip.

I probably would have had them draw lots in advance and see who got the guest room and/or let them decide who would bunk with who but I wouldn't have let them throw that much of a fit. There would be consequences for treating my grandmother that way.

I have a difficult time following this situation. So, they have a guest bedroom, but no bed? They can afford to put grandma up in a hotel, but couldn't spend the money to get a mattress and box spring (they come with those cheap metal frames)?

Bottom line - yes I'd expect my kids to give up their bed.

Shame on everyone. No air mattress and no hotel. How disrespectful everyone was and the wife (suppose to be an adult) is worse in my opinion.

I would never make a child give up their bed for guests. A bedroom is a private, intimate space. My parents made me give up my room at 16 and I still wish they hadn't.

I wonder if the children were told days in advance that they had to give up their room for grandma or the day before grandma came. The parents should have bought a pull out couch for grandma or given up their own bed. If they talk about plans in advance and they can't or are unwilling accommodate grandma, than why did they invite her in the 1st place? This is one of many reasons I never invite guests. I can't believe a 90 year old grandma had to go through this.

I know you have a thousand responses, but I'd just like to add that I would be horrified to have raised children who didn't WANT to give up their rooms for Grandma or Aunt Sadie. And I don't think much of a cousin who put Grandma in a "guest room" with no bed in it. Surely the children could have stayed on the air mattress or a twin bed could have been borrowed from a neighbor. The parents should be ashamed at having given in to two teens having a tantrum.

As a general rule, I don't think you make anyone give up their own beds for other people. If you don't have an extra bed then you don't offer to host guests unless they are ok on the sofa or floor. In this case, there was a guest room but not a real bed...the blow up bed was not an option for grandma but could have been a viable option for the teen...so the teen should have willingly taken the blow up (unless this was an extended visit). If they didn't do so willingly, parents should have made them. If they don't have a backbone, then the hotel was the next best alternative.

I would not force my child to give up her bed in a non-emergency situation.
I also would not have invited a guest to stay in a non-emergency situation if I didn't have a place for them to sleep. An inflatable bed is not acceptable for a 90-year-old, no matter how spry.
This should have all been worked out ahead of time.
The parents could have given up their room.
The girls could have taken turns using the inflatable if they didn't want to bunk together.
Or grandma could have been told ahead of time that she would need to reserve a room because they had no place for her to sleep.

If I had a spare room, I would make sure there was a "bed" available in it. As it stands, we have a folding camping cot. When my mother's come to visit we've set that up for her in my daughter's room, they shared. My daughter is 8.

If my kids were as old as your cousin's...coin flip, looser gets the guest room blowup mat and G'ma gets the actual bed. Then I would look into buying a futon for the guest room.

Yeah.. not a guest room if there is no actual bed. We have a guest room (with a queen bed). But sometimes, that is not enough... when a guest comes with kids in tow, or unmarried couples come to visit...

I was always booted out of my room as a tween/teen for my grandparents, as I had a full sized bed and my two brothers shared a room and had twin beds. It was easier to displace me. I hated it, but it was what it was. I think I was probably 12 or 13 the last time I had to do that.

Our kids are 13 and 16. The 16 yr old hasn't had to give up his bed/room for some years... daughter has a full sized bed (as does 16 yr son), but she is younger and it is actually easier to displace her and put her on a sofa. Her room is generally cleaner, and I know her bed is more comfortable.

We generally discuss sleeping accommodations with any array of guests who haven't been here before. Everyone knows what the arrangements will be, and if they are not to their liking, they are free to get a hotel. Grandparents ALWAYS get a bed (a real one). And the other rule is that WE do not give up OUR bed (the master bedroom). Sorry.
It can be tricky to boot a teen from their room depending on what is going on during the visit, if you have kids that are active in sports, etc... they can need access to their things multiple times a day, and several clothing changes in a 24 hour period. Not a big deal if your guests are just using the room to sleep. But if they are the type that move in and stay in there during the day, it can be a problem.

First - a guest room has a bed. The best solution would be to host grandma in an actual guest room. Second option - the kids give up their room and sleep on the air mattress. My son gives up his room to his two cousins (also kids) when my sister's family stays with us. My parents get the guest room (w/ bed), my sister and BIL get the pull out in the study. Their kids get my son's room and my son bunks with us. When we all go to her house, my parents get the guest room (in the past before they had the guest room, my parents go their bed and they moved out), we get one of the kids' rooms and the two kids share a room. It is not so much about powerless kids being low man on the totem pole. It is about how we treat guests.

I would not ask my kids to give up their beds before I had given up my own. Why didn't your adult cousins take the guest room airbed and give up their own bed to grandma?

I don't make my kids pay for my mistakes, such as having invited a guest that I was not prepared to properly accommodate.

Paying for a hotel is also an appropriate solution. I'm a huge fan of having visitors stay in hotels. Likewise, I prefer to stay in a hotel when I visit others. I would never be the person taking over a child's room/bed. I'd flat out refuse even if the kid was happy to offer.

Since they knew she was coming, and they have a guest bedroom, they should have rented a bed for her. Considering how the first night turned out, one of the kids should have given up their bed. Then the next night, the other. No tantrums allowed. I hope grandma went to a spa with room service and massage and not just some regular hotel. Or just went home

Is it okay to say that I'm just annoyed with your cousin? Who has a "guest room" without a real bed? Who invites a 90 year old to stay with them without thinking through the details IN ADVANCE?

Sorry I just can't help myself on this one. Your Grandma deserved more respect FROM your cousin and his DW in the first place.

I would hope that I could get a better response from the kids, but given that that wasn't the case, I would have bought an inexpensive double from IKEA, which with a mattress, would probably run $200, and, assuming there was room for it, put that in the guest bedroom. Cheaper than footing a hotel bill, keeps grandma close at hand, and keeps the teens from actuing surly towards grandma in a way that only teens can, which is the last thing poor grandma needs.

Best,
F. B.

The kids shouldn't have had to give up their rooms. Your cousin should have purchased an actual mattress or not invited grandma. Putting her up in a hotel was the LEAST they could do under the circumstances they created.

Well, my 4yo DD typically gives up her room (with a full-sized bed) when we have guests... But that's because it means she gets to sleep in Mommy's bed and she loves it! Lol.

In the same situation, I would have given up my own bed for Grandma's use, and used the blow-up. No way would Grandma have to sleep on the inflatable... but I also wouldn't force my kids to either. I think kids tend to be a bit more proprietary towards their rooms than adults... After all, it is the ONE space they get that is theirs... Why should they have to give it up? (Though, I would ask them to willingly give up their room and impress upon them get importance of making Grandma comfortable during her visit before deciding to give up my own. Youth has it's advantages as to the ability to sleep in less-than-desirable accommodations... But I wouldn't force them to do so.) I feel like if I am going to designate a spot in my house to be my child's, make them maintain it and take ownership for that space, then they should have the right to say they don't want to share... Though I really hope (and try to) that I raise my children to have enough compassion and respect that this would be a complete nonissue in our home.

If they had a "guest bedroom" I don't understand why it's a blow up bed. Typically there would have been a bed in there for her. If it were me, I would have bought a used twin bed and had that in the guest bedroom for her. It would have been WAY cheaper paying for that than a hotel. What teen "wants" to give up their room? And what adult would "want" to sleep in a teens room? If there were no other options, they could have pulled a bed out of one of the other rooms and put the blow up in the teens rooms. If there were no other options, I would have made my teens give up their rooms but sometimes it's not worth fighting about. JMO.

We had a discussion with my son that if he wanted the queen bed in his room he would have to give up his room when guests came into town which happens maybe 2 weeks out of the year. We bought him a twin blow up matress which worked out great, but he is only 8. I would say that in the situation above if I am understanding it correctly, I would have talked to the children in the household and your cousins before grandma came to make accomdiations for her to sleep in a bed. The make some great blow up beds that take up little space when deflated however a 90 year old sleeping on one maybe is not the best idea. If it was just a week then it should not be too big of a deal.

I am not surprised.

Just as some of these mothers act as though asking a teen to give up a bed is wrong. ...I do not get today's parents nor teens....

And this is why we don't have house guests....
But seriously...

A guest room is not a guest room if it only has a blow up bed. A guest room should have a proper bed of some kind. What they have is a spare room that they shove a blow up bed in. Not even the same thing. We've done that a couple times with younger (early 20s at best) guests/friends for a few days. We tell them up front that it will be a blow up bed in the sewing room/library and there isn't a lot of extra room because it's set up for our daily use and not as a proper guest room.

I always love how children are shown no respect of their personal space for no other reason then they are kids. I've never forced my kids to give up their rooms to guests. I would never think of it. Beyond the fact that I don't think I could ever get their rooms clean enough that I would want to put a guest in there anyway LOL

They should have either put her up in a hotel from the very start or gotten a proper bed for the "guest room" or given up the master bedroom if they were so set on having her stay and not invest in something better than a blow up bed.

Hotel is the way to go.
They should have done it that way from the get go.

I would have given up my own bed instead of making the teens give up theirs. Teens need a good nights sleep so they can function in school. I don't invite guests on school nights.

I think it's rude that your cousin's family (or anyone) don't have a *PROPER* guest room dedicated for guests. I don't like to sleep on someone else's bed, even if the person is happy to give it up for a few nights and the sheets are clean. This is why we have a guest room with a closet / dresser and a oull out sofa similar to this one.
http://auseniorshow.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/sofa-b...
I think the parents should have given up their own bed since they are the ones who made the mistake of not planning in advance, like some users said. I think grandma would rather have an adult's room over a teen room, and many teens don't keep their rooms clean.

I have 2 little boys and making them give up their beds is more of an imposition on *ME* than on them, since their toys, books, clothes, and other stuff would be jammed up in my room, so I have no space and no privacy.