Spacing Between Babies?

I think that it depends on each individual family. However, a friend of mine studies child development and they said that 3 years is the ideal spacing for children because a 3 year old has the mental capacity to understand the shift in attention better than a younger child.

D.,

The psychologists suggest that the optimal spacing between children is 18 months, so don't feel like you have to rush. Relax!

Best wishes,
K.

Hi D.~

I had an IUD (Mirena) after my first child, who is now 4. We decided right around his 3rd birthday that we were ready for another. I had it taken out and got pregnant a few months later. Once I got back to a regular menstrual cycle I had no problems getting pregnant.
My hubby wanted our kids to be close in age, but since I was the one staying at home and also doing child care in my home I wanted there to be at least a 3 year age gap. I definately wanted one out of diapers before I had another in them! lol.
Good luck with whatever choice you make. Hope this helped a little.
M.

Well mine are 19 months, and 21 months apart. I got pregnant with my second one when my oldest was about 10 months old. Then I got pregnant (OOPS!) with my third when my middle child was 13 months. We lost our very first one, at full term, so we were in a hurry to conceive after that, and it took us a full 8 months to conceive our (now) oldest son. But I honestly think it had to do with grief and depression. Our next two were very easy to conceive, but I was not on any form of hormonal birth control.

My sons are now 3.5, 23 months, and 2.5 months. They're really close together! I think it totally depends on you, and what you want as a family. And also, your health should play a big role in your decision making process. Some couples prefer to space their children 3+ years apart. I kinda wanted them close in age. I like the thought of being finished having children at a younger age. They make great playmates too. But I suppose it is easier when you give a few years between babies. So things are pretty rough for me right now! But it's what I want. These are the days I'll miss when I am older.

I don't have any experience with IUDs. Wishing you luck for when you decide you are ready for your next one!

Alright, here's my take on the subject. First let me say that I have three boys ages 9, 6 and 10 months. So I have two that are 2 1/2 years apart and obviously one that is 5 1/2 years younger than the other two. My older two are pretty close, so sometimes I feel like the little one is always gonna be the brother left behind. (We plan on having another one in a few years, though, so he will have a playmate.) However, life is sooo much easier with the age difference. The older boys are never jealous, they are extremely helpful and just loooove their baby brother more than I ever imagined. I have heard that three years between is ideal because they are close enough in age to be interested in similar things and be buddies, yet far enough that the three year old won't demand so much attention. Some people want their children close to "get it over with" and end up living through hell the first 5 years. Our lives with baby are so much more peaceful this time around. Also, by waiting, you are a more experienced parent. Things don't get to you like they once did. Far apart is easier financially as well, we are far more stable in that regard than we were 9 years ago with the first kid. I also think it can be unfair to have kids so close together. Each should have plenty of time to be "the baby" and get everyone's undivided attention for a while. After all, how often do we get to experience that in life? Oh, I forgot to mention, the older two are in school, so it's just me and the baby most of the day. Let me tell you, that is WONDERFUL!!!

mine are all 4 years apart all born in august on 12 14 and 23 which works great for us but i believe it is a family decision my sisters are 2 years apart

Hi D.!
everyone has given great advice already...i just wanted to add to it. 3 of my 4 kids are about 13 months apart. (11mnths, 2, and 3.) it is important that your hubby want it also, b/c you are going to really need his help! again, it's really hard sometimes. esp trying to breastfeed (if you are) while chasing toddlers around. no sleeping and getting up with toddlers not understanding that mommy is exhausted. also think about diapers, wipes and other expenses that come with little ones close in age. it has worked out for us and i love it. i am an only child so i always wanted kids close in age.
like someone else said i also cling to the truth of everyone saying that it gets better when they get older....somedays i pray it happens sooner than later lol!
as far as the IUD, i don't have any experience with it...but a good friend of mine did, her dr told her to wait till she had a normal period, using condoms in the means time...then try to conceive. for them it took about 4 mnths before she got pregnant, but everyone is different.
whatever you decide, good luck and make sure it is something you and your hubby both want!
take care,
D.

D., hi!

From what my pediatrician told me and what i can attest to the time from 12 months to about 24 months (and sometimes beyond) is actually what we know as "the terrible twos". I got pregnant with my daughter when my son was 8 months and it was really hard b/c he was so demanding and starting to throw tantrums, well screaming whenever he could, now he throws tantrums. I'm personally going to wait to have my next (godwilling) when my daughter is about 21 months and my son will then be almost 3.5. But I keep hearing from others that even though it's really hard now (it really is) it gets a lot easier b/c thy start to play together, are closer etc. I have to cling to that truth at times b/c sometimes i feel like i'm gonna lose my mind.

hope this helps.
-B.

Well i am glad you wrote this question because my children will be around 17 or 18 months apart. My doctor is still not sure of a due date so that is why i wrote 17/18 months apart. I wanted to have three children but it took me and my husband 12 yrs to have our first and now we are due sometime is April. My brother and I are 4 yrs apart and my husband has 9 brothers and sisters so some are very close in age. He wanted ours close and i just could not believe that after taking 12 yrs for our first it only took about 4 months once i got regulated after having our first. It does depend on the person but since i have read your two responses i am glad we got pregnant right away because me and my brother were not and still are not very close and i really wish we were. So i am hoping my children will be close. Again thank you for the question.

My children are 17 months and 1 day apart. I wouldn't have it any other way. At first, with two little ones, one special needs due to premature birth, it was difficult but within weeks we had a schedule down and it worked great. My kids are very close to one another, they're each other's best friends. They're 9 and 10 right now, they have their moments when they bicker but for the most part they're great together. I like that they're born close together because they'll have things in common. There is 5 years between my youngest sister and I we rarely liked the same things. There's ups and downs with both, having them close together and far apart. Basically you have to do what's best for your family. If you can afford another child soon, and how hard it is on your body so close together, then I say go for it, but if not waiting wouldn't be bad either.

Hi D.! Well, that all depends on you. My 2 oldest now 11 and 10 are only 18 months apart. I have to say, it was hard at first because my son didn't understand at that age that he had to wait sometimes while mommy took care of the baby. However as they've gotten older it's much nicer. They play together pretty well most of the time. Of course there's other times they argue but not alot. I know of others who want their kids to be 3 or 4 years apart. I don't think there's any right answer. It just depends on you and your partner and what you want.

Good Luck!

S.

D.,
Obviously if God gives you children close together He thinkgs you can handle it....if the opposite is true it is meant to be. I know that isn't always easy to hear when your heart is set on a certain spacing.

My kids are 3 yrs and 9 months apart. They are inseperable! My older child (boy) adores my daughter and she follows him around like he is a superhero. Of course they argue and fight sometimes but they are best buds otherwise. My son last night held my daughter's hand while at a social function and he was helping read to her. So age difference is NOT the only reason kids are close or not.

Best wishes.
M.

I faced the same dilemma. We tried for more after my first was 6 months. Crazy? Maybe. Wouldn't change a thing though.

3 kids. My first two girls are 15 months apart. I love it. They are 4 and 2 1/2 now and best buddies. They play together and have common interests....it is great. My son is just 6 months. The girls help out a lot. They love to. They keep him occupied as well.

People ask about how hard it is...I love it. They will all soon be running around together. I figured why stretch out over 10 years with diapers? If you are doing now...why not get it over with? And my kids all love each other immensely.

Do what you want. Having them close is NOT a bad thing...at least for me. We have a blast. Vacations will be fun, going out is fun. Everyone (my kids) will be on similar levels.

Hi D.,
I have two girls who are 18 months apart, and I think that is was great having them that close together. There was never any jelousy with my oldest, and they are really close now. It is alot of work having two in diapers, but in my opinion it has been great for the girls to have one another. As for an IUD, I have one now, and am not sure about getting pregnant after one, so I am interested in what other mom's have to say about that. Good Luck!
M.

We found that a 3 year difference was perfect. I wanted my little girl first, which I got, so she would be mama's little helper and she is. Our son looks up to her and is 2 now. It was good spacing for us and we did plan it that way.
~R. B

Hi D.,

My son and daughter are 15 months apart-Like most people on here, I wanted my kids to be 2-3 years apart-however, God had different plans for us and blessed us with our daughter-while I was on the pill!! (Nothing is 100%) :) Anyway, the pregnancy was pretty rough the 2nd time around as my body had NO chance to recover from my son. My son turned 2 on 9/16, and my daughter turned 1 on 12/20, so they are still young. I truly believe there are pros AND cons to having them this close in age-I find that our son is starting to help out more and more, but there was a jealousy, and sometimes still is, issue. It's expensive with two in diapers at once, but I figure, heck, once they are out of diapers, that's IT! No more!! Anyway, I'm not sure if this helped or not, but there really is no RIGHT answer to this question. Just enjoy your precious little miracles-no matter when they come!!

C.

My children are 20 months apart and I love it. I did not think it was any harder having the second that close I actually think it was easier because I was still in that baby routine and nothing changed. I think my children are closer because of the close age. I got pregnant with my second when my son turned 1 and I did not have a problem. I work with a girl and her two are 11 months apart and my brother and I are 12 months apart we all agree that if we could of changed it would we and we all said no we wouldn't so go ahead and have another one if you both want another. Good luck and let us know.

As everyone said, it depends on you. There are valid reasons for having kids close together as well as far apart. However, your husband isn't quite ready, so you still have some time to wait before your next child would be born far apart from the first one. Just a few months could make a big difference. Why can't you take out the IUD and use another form of birth control anyway?

Good luck.
B.

I really think it depends on you, mine are 26 months apart, the first year was hard, but since then it is great having them close, they play together all the time. I did feel like giving my son just another 6 months would have made the 1st year easier, but now that they are older, I actually wish they were a little closer in age.

I was 4 years older than my brother, and my husband was 4 years older than his brother, and we were both positive we wanted our closer together than that.

I got pregnant with my son when my daughter was 13 months old. My son was born in May, my daughter turned 2 in June. Although there was some rough spots at times (baby up at night, daughter away early in the morning), they are now 3 & 5 and they are very very close. My son always wants to be with his sister, and my daughter is the mother hen. I think typical spacing is 2 years apart. I am divorced and my bf wants to have a baby. Hmm.. 6, 4 and new baby ? 7, 5 and new baby ? I think they would be too far apart.

From a medical stand point ob's or midwives usually say to give your body two years at least to heal especially if you have had a c-section. Otherwise if you have them close you will have everything at once diapers etc.. not having the energy or time to go out much while they are all young but when they get older they all will be going to school together. If you space them far it gives you a break and the older one can help and understand better about what is going on. Hope this helps

hey i have three boys and there ages are 3 the 1 1/2 and 4 months. so spacing out???? lets see my first two are 16months apart and my second and third are 17 months and i love it. everyone gripes at me that i should of spaced them out and i am honestly glad i didnt. my friend has two girls that are exactly 2 years apart( i know yours would be about the same) and she has the hardest time with them. they wont play together and she has to keep the oldest ones toys up just things that my kids do together they dont. its not as hard as everyone thinks.