B.,
I really like what Rachel B from the 18th wrote to you. She has the ins and outs of experience...I can tell.
I have a 15 year old step-son who was FINALLY diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. You are very fortunate to have the diagnosis early on. Make sure you follow through with the Speech Therapists, Counselors, Focus Rooms, easy access to the principal, fidgets and so forth. All of these things can be accessed by making sure it is in your child's IEP.
If you are having problems with IEP's then make sure you have a Disability Advocate. They can be costly but so refreshing to have someone fight for your child's rights. The advocate is well respected and knows all of the "Magic Words" that a school will respond to. Without those words the school legally does not have to tell you them or respond to your requests, pleas and anger. They will tell you they are doing all that they can do. In reality there IS more they will do once the advocate is on board.
All of this information is to let you know that your child is "NORMAL" for Asperger. They do not feel normal BUT they are for themselves. Being shy, unsure of how to relay feelings (hence the crying or tantrums), bullied by others (because his normal is not their normal) and absolutely no social skills (hence the name calling) is always the norm.
School Counselors who understand Asperger can meet with him and start explaining to him how HE IS normal, why others see him as different, role playing, etc. Focus Rooms offer get away from stress areas. Fidgets offer anger, frusration, confusion and helplessness control. The child needs to feel in control of their life so possibly the principal could make his door open to the child any time they need someone to "rescue" him from bullies. Gives the child a "safe zone" same with the Focus Room.
Just remember...any advice you give your child may not make sense to them. Their reality is not the same as our reality. Go to the library and get books on Asperger Syndrome. Read, read some more, talk with doctors, teachers, counselors, therapists, read still more, research online, chat with other mothers who have Asperger children and yet read more. You will be amazed at how you can change your way of thinking to help your child with advice, suggestions and working knowledge. Maybe some of these sites will assist you in finding local sites.
http://www.joshuacenter.com/
http://www.dmh.missouri.gov/kcrc/
http://www.asperger.org/
http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/
http://www.familiestogetherinc.org/disalinks.htm/
http://www.kumc.edu/aarc/
I hope I have helped a little. Keep Smiling!! Lilly :)