My son is continously talking and doing irritating things and it is driving us all up a wall. We can't watch tv or even think when he is around. For me it is ALL THE TIME. My daughter doesn't even want to babysit because he is so annoying and I totally understand. I gave him time outs all morning and threatened to take his bday party away and now all he's doing is whinning. He does things over and over when I tell him not to and send him to his room. I follow through with punishments and it doesn't seem to help.What else can I try????? Help mommys it's been an awful morning. Part of the reason is that he has no one to play with. I want to take him for a bike ride or to the park but the day starts out so horrible that I feel it would be rewarding his bad behavior if I do it.
He's 7. I took him to the fair with his friend last night and today hes whinning that he wants to go again and crying. I told him only one time. He woke up hugging me and so happy then it all changed once I said we can't go again. He gets bored since he is the youngest and his siblings are much older. He's had a play date and sleepover already this week and two nights of sports plus the fair with friends last night. If we had neighbors with kids he would be outside every day all day. I take him out a lot but he needs to ride bikes with friends and play all day. He is very smart and needs the structure like he has at school to keep him occupied. I often have appts to goto so I can't really set a schedule that will stick. He ended up calling his gpa to go golfing and that made his day! I love my dad. He came through for me when I needed a break and him and my son both needed time together and a change of pace. My son loves to help with chores. We did them right when we woke up. He took his sheets and blankets off and we put them in the washing machine and he played in the yard a little and rinsed off his dishes. He always needs to be doing something or he gets antsy. There is really only one tv show I watch during the day. Maybe that's when I can arrange something for him to do. I don't like the wii going for a long period of time or every day. If I did he would sit quiet but I don't want the tv/video games to act as a babysitter. It has been so hot for the last couple weeks we haven't gone outside as long as needed but today it cooled down and he is getting fresh air. Thank you mommies for your advice:) I realized I need to give him more structure.
Playing outside would NOT be a reward, it would be an opportunity to help him be the kid you want him to be. Get him exercise. Get him outside. Spend some time with him. Then, and only then, complain about how he's not letting you watch TV in peace.
eTA: He sounds like a great kid.
You shouldn't think of it as "rewarding" him for bad behavior, he might be bored, or cooped up and needs to play outside for awhile. Take him to the park to play with some other children. He can get some fresh air, while you get a break. It might be good for you both, and a nice change of scenery for awhile.
Also, how old is your son?
As a parent educator, I can tell you that he is used to so much negative attention that it's like a habit.
How is he in school? Many kids who misbehave in school either have no discipline at home, rule the household or have issues that have been overlooked like reading issues, vision issues, etc....
He is seven. Sit him down and tell him each and every morning he is to eat breakfast and clean up after himself. Then, you need to get both of you on bikes. Do NOT mention the bad behavior. Tell him that this is going to be the new routine. You need to be consistent ! Ride a bike w/ him for at least 1 hour. You need to turn this around. The excercise will help his behavior !
If there are other concerns, you should talk to your pediatrician. Without knowing all the facts and visiting your home, I have no true way of telling.
At seven, he should be dressing himself, cleaning up at each meal, putting his clothes away and possibly setting the table for dinner.
If he has good behavior or does chores tell him good job....etc...
Do not threaten to take his B-Day away over an over. Either take it away or not immediately. Consequences should be immediate. This is about his overall behavior that needs to be worked on.
Take him to a local pool, library, playground each day from 9 - 11 am.
Tell him after he clears his breakfast plate, you guys will be going to ____.
Tell him what u expect of him behavior wise. If he misbehaves there, take his hand, walk to the car, let him know in JUST 1 sentence why you are leaving and send him to his room. Hopefully, there is no TV, etc... in there.
Again w/out being there, I can't say too much, but, you need to have a structured routine ! And he needs to get some excercise and social time. He should be practicing reading, too. Go to the library, let him choose an age level book and have him read it to you -- where you need to be on the quiet side.
Good Luck and keep me posted !
It sounds like he is bored and looking for attention. Spending time with you isn't a reward. It is something that he needs and shouldn't depend on his behavior. Maybe take him out of the house for awhile to burn off some energy. When you get home you could set him up with an activity to do to keep him busy for awhile. I'm not sure how old he is so it is hard to offer age appropriate suggestions.
He sounds bored.
Why doesn't he have anyone to play with? We never had many kids in our neighborhood but I made sure we set up plenty of playdates, especially during the summer. My kids would have been bouncing off the walls if they didn't have friends over at least a few times a week, and I needed them to stay busy and happy for my own sanity too!
If you can afford a week of summer day camp sign him up. Get him involved with sports, swim lessons or some other activity or class.
We also went to the park and the pool a lot, the kids play with other kids while mom sits and chats with other moms or just relaxes with a good book :)
With my son, giant rewards or consequences did not help. It needed to be smaller things that he could see right away. At school, they do this with tickets or tokens that he could collect to get a reward. We don't really do this at home, but a lot of people use the jar of marbles.
You could keep him active with chores and projects around the house.(My son hates helping with dishes, but likes cleaning the windows with a spray bottle of water or crushing cans for recycling.) Maybe you could check out some books from the library that have ideas for experiments, summer activities, art projects, etc. You could give him some challenges to do independently. (Can you build a pencil holder out of legos? Can you find a bug and draw a picture of it? Make a crossword puzzle out of beach words?) Does he have any friends that you can arrange to meet at the park?
For the problem with him interrupting the tv, you could try taking turns(if you let me watch my show uninterrupted, then you'll get a tv turn later) or have him ask for your attention properly and then give him your undivided attention for a few minutes (Excuse me, Mom, can you come see my lego project now? OK, I will turn the tv off in 5 minutes, and then you can tell me all about it.)
Use a checklist to help structure his day. What 10 things do you want him to accomplish each day? What 1 or 2 rewards will he receive for accomplishing these tasks? Start there. You will be surprised how fulfilled each of you will be.
Sounds like summer boredom to me.
Can you put him in a summer day camp? Even if you can't afford to send him every week maybe every other week? I send my GD to day camp every other week because I can't afford to send her all the time and because I feel like she should have some summer days where she sleeps late, hangs around the house, and plays with the neighborhood kids. But too much of that gets boring. So I've found that sending her every other week works very well.
Other than that, is there a Boys & Girls Club near you?
If neither are an option, I would suggest spending some time trying to come up with things to occupy him - maybe like some cool science experiments or something. If you give him more structure, he will probably behave better.
Dont threaten to take him birthday party away! that sounds like a empty empty threat! If you give time outs all morning than clearly time outs have lost all effectiveness and you need to change that routine ASAP!
Have you heard of the expression "feeding the meter"? Put the time in with your son early in the day BEFORE he starts whining and misbehaving. Then give him time to himself for a while, then feed the meter again, play with him for 20 minutes. Invite a friend over once a week for him to play with.
