Looking Forward to Summer Break - Heak No!

I have three kids. I have NEVER had a single summer vacation like the one you describe. Maybe it's time to put away the parenting books, and just ENJOY THEIR COMPANY.

:)

I LOVE SUMMER VACATION!! It's so hard for me, with 2 weeks of school left, to NOT pull my kids out of school when the weather is this gorgeous. They stopped taking attendance last week, so that makes it even harder for me ;) I love having my babies home! They're my very great most best helpers, and they're my friends :) Life is so much easier at a WAHM when the girls are here to help with the baby. I can't wait!!... now, 2 weeks until school starts again, I promise I'll be feeling the way you are now, screaming at the empty school TAKE THEM BACK! TAKE THEM BACK!! ;) But for now, I'm really looking forward to having all my kiddos home and playing nonstop for the next few weeks :)

I look forward to summer vacation and getting to take my kids to parks, lakes, playdates, soccer, bbq's, and hanging out with mutual friends. I do NOT look forward to bickering and whining. Luckily, the good outweigh the bad.
L.

Maybe I'll change my answer in a few years, but no, I don't hate summer vacation. I can't WAIT to have my son home with us all day every day (daughter isn't in school yet). I miss him SO much and really enjoy his company!
My mom also said her favorite time of year while us 4 siblings were growing up was summer vacation, she just enjoyed having us around.
I'm sorry your kids are giving you a tough time, without being able to see the day to day dynamics it's hard to say what might help your household be a bit more peaceful. Good luck to you, and try to enjoy those special gifts your children give you - smiles, hugs, kisses, cuddles, storytime, flowers picked from the yard... love!

It sounds like you need to set boundaries and expectations and follow through with consequences when they are not met. It also sounds like you may want to keep some sort of schedule and or involve your kids in structured activities. If everyone know what to expect than it might make your life a little more peaceful!

I like summer and spending it with my daughter. She is 16 and before I know it she'll be off to college and I'll be empty nesting with hubby and I will miss the rare times she is slamming a door or giving me attitude because she can't stay out til 1am. We shop, have lunch, watch movies, etc.

Engage your children in summer programs. There are some very affordable summer programs through the school, parks and rec, sleep away camps, etc.

If they see how miserable you are.......they will also be miserable because they know mom hates summer because they are home and not gone all day.

You kids sound normal but it also sounds like it is time to work on everyone's behavior.

Blink and they won't be there before you know it.

If you reward bad behavior, you will get more and more bad behavior. I too think children are unnecessarily medicated. Children were much better behaved 60 to 80 years ago before ADHD or a myriad of other diseases were politically correct.

Ask them what they want for lunch. You give them two choices. If they say they don't want either choice, then say, "I'm sorry, those are your choices." If they still refuse, then say, "Ok, that's up to you, but nothing else and no snacks until dinner." Then use time out or stand in the corner or . . . for their unacceptable behavior.

You have become a push over if you let them slam doors or have screaming fits or temper tantrums. You are not supposed to be their friend. Your job is Mom. You can be their friend when they get married. When my kids screamed or jumped up and down or threw them selves on the floor in a tantrum, I'd have them do the tantrum exercise over and over again until they got tired of doing it. The one that screamed and jumped up and down had to scream and jump up and down until he got tired of it. Then I'd have them do it some more and more and more. It wasn't long before they quit throwing their temper. If they started, I'd ask them if they really wanted to jump up and down. Because if they did, I'd have them jump up and down until I got tired of it. (That was a long time after they got tired of doing it.) Then I'd have them apologize for their bad behavior.

I too hate the "I'm Bored!" When my kids complained of being bored, I told them, "Good!!, I've got something for you to do." It was read a book out loud to me, or pull a bucket of weeds out of the garden, or give the dog a bath or pick up trash or mow the lawn . . . (you have the idea).

My daughter has a wonderful way of getting chores done. She has good behavior chores and "negative behavior" chores. No one is assigned a given chore. She tells them, "This is your good behavior chore for this morning". OR she tells them, "That behavior is not acceptable, do you need a negative behavior chore?" Her kids are 7 (triplets), 3 and 8 months. The oldest 4 know what "negative behavior" means. She and my son require, "Yes, No, thank you, May I please have, NOT "Can I have" or "I want".
I have another son and his wife that require "Yes maam, No maam, Yes sir, No sir" plus all the magic words.

When I was bringing my kids up we had chores assigned for one week. We started with the easy chore, then the next week came a harder job, and next week the next harder job, etc. The hardest job was washing dishes (no dishwasher, and there were 10 of us). After washing dishes, the next week was "vacation" or a week of no jobs. If you didn't complete your job, you kept that job through the next week until you finished it. We had postive reinforcement for good behavior and negative consequences for negative behavior. If my kids used "dirty" words or profanity, I would burn out the garbage words with hot sauce. As a consequence, none of my kids swear or use vulgar language as adults.

Good luck to you and yours.

I really enjoy not dealing with checking on homework deadlines!
I'm not sure how old your kids are, but summer day camp might be a good option to keep them occupied and out from under your feet.
As far as the screaming and slamming doors go - that's not something I'd take from any child over 3 or 4 yrs old.
Privileges (tv, computer, phone, games, etc) are constantly earned by good behavior (and by good, I don't mean bare minimum civility).
If they can't deal with that then they are going to have a long summer of reading for entertainment.
My son considers reading to be a treat and he LOVES to curl up with a book and read it cover to cover whenever he gets a chance.

You are not alone! We have this issue every summer. This year I sat my girls down and told them if they acted that way they'd go to their rooms and sit in there alone all day. If they were good we'd do fun things. Now, it's only been a few days and I've already had to send them to their rooms, but especially the oldest has really been working on her attitude. And by the way, I think your kids sound totally normal!! Good luck mama!!

My advice to you is create some structure and get them involved in some summer camps that are a week or two at a time...Swim camp, soccer camp, wilderness camp, gymnastics camp etc etc....This will burn some of their energy and keep them focused on things other than fighting. well at least part of the time :)

I love summer vacation! But I don't put up with that type of behavior. If you whine you must be tired and need a nap, I don't ask them to do things I tell them it's time to do xyz, you don't say how old your kids are but I'd send mine outside to play if the baby is napping or have mandatory quiet time. And I definitely do not play short order cook with my kids you get what you get and you don't get upset.
My grandma watched my sisters and I and three of my cousins all summer we got along pretty good we spent almost all day outside. We had a kiddie pool, sprinkler, plenty of cool drinks and snacks and we usually ate lunch outdoors.
I think you need to set up a schedule and specific rules and stick to them. Put them where everyone can see. My older son's teacher uses a wheel. Everyone starts on green if they get more then one warning for something they drop down a color if it gets down to red you miss recess that day I would implement if you get to red you don't get a special treat after dinner. This seems to work much better then typical charts and time outs.

I have O. child. Going into 3rd in the fall, and although I did have a moment of panic when waiting for the bus on the last half day...I have to say more so than not, I love summer vacation with him. It's tougher in that I need to get him to my moms on the days I work, etc., but overall, we keep very busy and have a blast! WE have tons of stuff planned.
Do you have a kind of a schedule? Like have them do chores in the a.m. then all head out to somewhere, with dinner in the crock pot type of overview?
M "mom with a plan" is the best thing to try to be. Otherwise, they get bored, crabby and ornery!
A "mom with spontaneity" is the next best thing to be!

I don't think you are alone, judging from the previous responders...

I'm looking forward to some aspects of summer break. I'll be done with teaching and can just focus on my little guy. I'll also be *his* focus too, so there's going to be some strategic planning on creating quiet times during the day. Thank goodness for the sandbox and a canopy to put over it!

I have two girls 6 and 4 and there are days that they drive me crazy. Until this past year they were both in a 2 day a week program, and even then summer was hard. My 6 year old just "graduated" from kindergarden and I am looking forward to summer-check back with me in 2 weeks!

I am trying to create a routine for them so they know what to expect each day-its so hard to stick with. As many activities as I can think of and new chores and reading time for my 6 year old. This morning we started by making the beds (which I've never made them do) so thats a start.

But I totally understand how you feel. If you can keep them busy with different activities I think it helps greatly with the fighting.

I homeschool:-) So summer isn't different for me!

I've read several books too. Love & Logics was closest to what I liked, but I still had issues with it (just wasn't logical to me in several instances). But "Positive Discipline" by Jane Nelsen is what I'm reading and it's *finally* what I've been looking for! Just thought I'd mention it in case you hadn't read it. It is different than other books I've read.

I know other parents who aren't excited about having their kids home. It seems like a lot are stressed about the idea. So, you're not alone!

It does get hectic with the door bell ringing and the dog barking when kids are outside playing and the begging and complaining. I know what you mean. Although I will be happy to be on my schedule instead of the school schedule for awhile. I can't wait to enjoy time with my children at home. I miss them when they go to school. In a few weeks I'll probably be ready to pull my hair out but I also can't wait. My youngest is upset that school is ending-big shocker.

I am with you sister! I love that we don't have to worry about homework and getting up early but, my kids get so bored and start fighting with each other. I swear they hate one another. I so love the days I am off and everyone is gone. It's the only time I can get anything done around the house. I am going to try to do more with my kids this summer. Maybe going to a local beach or museum. I have a hard time getting my 12 year old away from video games. He doesn't have anyone in the neighborhood his age to get him outside. So I will be in misery right along with you.

You are definatley not alone! I only have 1 child, but she is SOOOO bored in the summer time. She always wants play dates and such. It's hard keeping her occupied! What happened to the days like when I was a kid and I was outside w/friends from dawn til dusk in the summers? I decided to put her in a summer camp 3 days a week (b/c that was all I could afford).. I work full time & my mom takes care of her while I work. But she constantly says "im bored" no matter what the time is. It gets expensive in the summer to have to find them something to do or have a daycare schedule. :) Good Luck Melissa!

You didn't say how old your kids are...Sounds like you need some consistent structure for the kids' days and a MANDATORY rest time in the afternoon, ot necessarily a nap but just an hour of quiet time. This is for you and them! For a meltdown...try going in the bathroom (take baby w/ you ) and shutting the door with a radio turned up loud...in other words don't give them an audience AND go there EVER TIME there is any meltdown. If it is their bedroom door getting slammed...take the door off. Whining about lunch...give two choices/both acceptable and do-able for you. I did alot of "snack lunches" when mine were little ie: veggies and dip, cheese and crackers, cut up bananas. Snacks and beverages: NO SUGAR, NO POP or Kool-Aid etc...
Plan your day the night before WITH THEM. Most kids behave better and have more fun when they know what is coming next and have played a part in planning the activities for the day. Make a plan and stick to it!

So glad to know that I am not the only one that feels this way! I love my kids, but my house turns into a pigsty as we are outside all day. I too get tired of the whining, fighting, etc. I don't know a kid that doesn't do it. I am only 1 of 3 stay at home mom's in our neighborhood and my kids get tired of playing with each other, so trying to keep up with "fun" activities for them gets hard. We have a membership to Fredrick Meijer Gardens in GR and go quite often. It's nice to give my brain a little break :) Enjoy your summer....it will be over before we know it :)

Well - I am a mom who works out of the home (well, and in it if you count my second job - LOL!) and I hate summer for another reason - piecing together a fun, engaging and not boring 11 weeks that incorporates appropriate down time and fun for two boys :)
I would love for one summer to just say - last day of school and then hang with the kids (fighting or not) for the whole time.
I guess the grass is always greener :) Hang in there. September will be here soon!

Well with two teens and a tween we have some days like that during the summer (especially when my two girls get into it!) but it's not the norm.
I enjoyed having them home more when they were preschool/elementary age because they pretty much just played all day. They didn't fight much and I didn't ask them to do much, it was pretty laid back. They never whined about what I was feeding them, they pretty much ate the same thing every day anyway. We went out a LOT, to the park, the pool, the zoo, etc. I think that helped us all from going stir crazy.
As supernanny would say, get out, have some fun and ENJOY your kids!

I see you already have a handful of responses, but wanted to reassure you that you are not alone. My summer consists of the kids & my hubby since he is a teacher!! So I have the entire family home - which does not help since I work from home. So during the summer it's either video game central around this house or hubby is gone golfing or something. So either way I am always with the youngest (19m old).
For the oldest, I am going to try to plan a playdate at least once a week with a school friend. Plus he is going to 2 different camps (Lego robotics & british soccer). So hopefully between those plans and camping we can survive summer still married :)

LOL you are not alone! I think I have a pretty well behaved kid and I get along with him fine but I STILL need a break from him. I would love to be able to sit in a room with him w/o having to explain something, clean up after him or just be stared at.

No one enjoys bad behavior!

Nope, you are not alone.
I don't really have the same problems as you but I do the here and there (and very annoying) "I am bored!" it drives me crazy, beside anything I suggest is never good.
I have found two things that works for this kind of days:
-Either I plan something and go out (that usually she complains that it will not be fun...but she ends up having fun most of the times)
-or I say, great, cleaning day! She always find things to do when I say that, lol.
Overall I like having her around and the toddler loved even more, is just a few days where she gets bored and cranky, is funny how right they can wait to go on vacations at school but by the end of them they are begging to go back to school, until they go back and it starts all over again!

You need to have a family meeting with the kids at the start of summer break and tell them what you told us. Ask them what can be done to solve this so you can all enjoy your summer. Let them plan lunches and perhaps even prepare them - fun stuff using cookie cutters, toothpicks or whatever. Do some picnics under a tree outside. I always established a quiet time for resting and reading.
Enlist their cooperating and also what to do if someone isn't cooperating. I think you should plan days to go fun places. I used to have one day a week when we'd all clean and a time each day when we'd all pick up/straighten up/sweep etc. then we could have fun the next few days. Get a positive attitude. I had 4 kids close together, the oldest with ADHD, and no air conditioning. You can do this, Melissa! Locate your sense of humor and get a good book to read when yuo have a bit of down time.

Sounds like your kids need some occupation outside the house in the summer months. You don't have to spend a fortune to get kids enrolled in summer camps, summer classes (anything they like -- art, martial arts, dance, sports, whatever) if you do it through a local community center. Even without camps, you can take them to one-time events around town, to the library for the library's free summer reading program (our libraries have lots of summer things for kids to do) -- check the local parks and recreation department summer schedule and your library's summer schedule. Get them out of the house and wear them out while you do it. Even play dates with their friends at the park are better than being inside the house while they slam doors. This doesnt' sound like a parenting issue, it sounds like classic and totally normal sibling tension when they're together too much and doing nothing specific, so this isn't necessarily a time for parenting books, it's a time for course and camp catalogs and library and park time. My several friends with three or more kids say the same thing every summer, Christmas break and spring break -- they need to have the kids doing at least some outside, organized things, some of the time, to give their brains and bodies somewhere else to be.