Son Does Not Eat

just wait and you will learn
the only constant is change... soon the bambino will
impact the food budget...
they go through stages. I had a child weighed 23 pounds
for what seemed 2 years... I planted a garden
a wee one for the wee yard and she was eating sugar peas
off the vine. Anxious for the zucchini. showing off the
tomatoes. but you have awhile for that... at his age, they want to
pull the sprouts and they are good too... many of them
j of indy

Dear Aleisha,
It is common for children to go through seasons of eating a lot, a little. As long as he is increasing in size and healthy, please don't worry. Just don't feed him a lot of junk food. He will be just fine.

E.
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At 19 months, they have a mind of their own. And their bodies. I always said they will eat when they get hungry or when their body says it is. As a mother of six my number six was a picky eater and didn't eat as much as I might think he should have.( Sometimes skipping meals.) I found he ate one good meal a day and snacked the rest. Also, as long as they are growing and are healthy and eat good food when they do eat they are fine.

Any doctor would tell you that kids of that age eat what they need. As long as it is healthy food and he is growing, don't worry about the amount so much. Too many kids these days are obese, so don't push him,or it could create other problems down the road.
C.

Dear Aleisha W, Your son is a tipical little 19 month old. Do not be concerned if he is not eating as much as you think he should because his little body is not in a growth spurt right now and he does not need that much food. As long as you are giving him healthy foods he will be fine. When he is hungery he will let you know. We adults have a distortion of the amount of food we should eat. So relax, your husband is right(this time). About myself, I am a grandmother of 4 grown sons and 4 grandchildren that I love dearly.

If your son is not underwieght then I wouldnt worry, I am a firm believer in they will eat when they are hungry. just make sure that the food that he does eat is healthy and contain all of his nutrients.

Hi Aleisha. I am new to this site. I have three children, ages 14, 12, and 8 (boy, girl, girl) and am a licensed independent social worker (full time) and single parent. I work with children in private practice,with a specialty in early childhood issues/early intervention (autism spectrum disorder, anxiety and other mood disorders, ADHD, and other developmental disorders). I see a lot of feeding issues, and have gone through some of the same fears as a parent, especially with my first (son). First, I would ask you if he is growing appropriately. Has your pediatrician mentioned any concerns with his growth chart? In my son's case, even though for years he was below the 5th percentile in weight, he was consistently tracking at this level and never had a period in which he stopped growing, so we never had concerns from our doctor (although his bird-like eating freaked me out!) At around age 4, he suddenly decided that eating was really, really ok, and he never stopped. At 14, he is now about 5'8" and 130lbs... by age 5 or so, he began to track at about 50th percentile for weight. If the pediatrician feels your son is growing well, that should relieve a lot of concern. In general, little ones at this age can be incredibly picky eaters. Some days you may wonder how they actually continue to survive... do they get by on air? But I had a doctor tell me (and learned in one of my classes) that with children this age, consider what they eat over the period of an entire week, rather than focusing on what they eat (or do not eat!) in a single day. If he is growing, has energy to play, is not lethargic, and is not complaining of any pain or distress...he is more than likely fine, and this is a typical part of his development which will change (believe me) with time. Generally speaking, young children will not allow themselves to starve, and often the more anxiety we as parents project onto mealtimes when we have concerns can really create more problems. Taking a relaxed approach (insofar as possible) and continuing to offer him a lot of healthy choices throughout the day is probably the best approach. You don't want to have control issues develop around two areas on particular; feeding and toilet training. When there is parental worry or pressure in either of these areas, more severe problems can develop. Best of luck to you and your little one!

E.

Your husband is probably right. Toddlers don't eat the same way we do. They are so interested in their world that they only stop to eat until satisfied, then go on with thier business. My 5 yr old son has always been this way. I just make the most of when he does eat. I make sure to fit in some fruit, veggies, protein, and healthy grains by lunch time. Remember that your son's stomach is about the size of his little fist. What is about 5-6 bites for you, could be an entire meal for him. At our house we eat six small meals each day every 2-3 hours. This will lead to healthy eating habits, and it's good for metabolism and keeping your blood sugars more level. Your son is probably just following the natural rythym of his body. He is probably fine. If you're still concered, I'd mention it to his pediatrician at his next check up.
M. S

Hi I am not sure whether this is the best advise or not but i too have a now six year old daughter who is and was the same way. I spoke with three different doctors about my situation and they all told me she would eat if she was hungry and as long as her weight was not affected or health then i was not to worry too much about it. And as i said before she is now six and has been this way since she was taken off the bottle and is healthy as ever I just force the milk and juice more to get the vitamins in her because she tends to drink more. Just thought i would give you some information that i was given, hope this may ease your mind but i know its still difficult to understand being a mom. Best wishes to you guys and hope everything goes ok.
A.

I can realate to you on this subject! My daughter is 2.5 now but when she was right around your son's age she also wasn't the greatest eater. I am not trying to worry you, but my daughter is still not a good eater now. It has always been a battle to get her to eat three meals a day. Every other kid I see eats so well and gains a good amount of weight! But my daughter justs isn't like everyone else. I did ask my daughter's doctor what to do and she said for us to cut back on the liquids and absolutely NO snacks. The Dr. also said to make sure to feed her her food first (at every meal) and then give her the milk after she is done eating, because that tends to fill them up! And actually I did notice that when I used to give her milk at meal time she would always go for that first and then after she drank most of it, she would want no part of the food. So I did what the Dr. said and still to this day I give her the drink (well most of the time/sometimes I give in)after she eats at least half of her food... but if you fell you have to giver her a drink during the meal, just give her a bit of water... sometimes I do that! This does seem to help me.. but honestly, I still have difficulty with her! Some kids just aren't big on eating.... and my daughter is absolutely healthy and her weight is fine (even with the occassional missed meals), I hope this helps. Good luck!

My 3 y.o. daughter is the same way. She's gone thru phases, currently in one, where she will eat just a few bites and says she done. But she is growing and gaining weight normally and that's what counts. They'll eat when they're hungry. She gets snacks during the day, but if she doesn't finish her lunch, that is what she can have for a snack later. If she doesn't finish dinner, she doesn't get dessert. Sometimes taking away her dessert will push her to eat more for dinner and sometimes she just says ok and gets up. If he is growing normally, just relax even though I know it's hard not to worry.

My pediatrician told me that my toddler's stomach is not very big and 4-5 Tablespoons of food can actually fill him up. So I wouldn't worry if your 18 month old isn't eating that much since he isn’t snacking on unhealthy foods. I had to feed my toddlers 4-5 times a day. That is awesome your baby isn’t picky! Sounds like you are doing a Great job! Good Luck on baby #2...

Many Blessings,

S.

It's a phase! My son did the same thing until recently and he is almost 4. He would eat one good meal a day and that was that. I even tried cutting off giving him so much milk. Good or bad everything our children go through is a phase. This too shall pass. Trust me, now my son eats about 8 times a day and it's not junk. He asks for grapefruit, apples, pears, cereal and on and on. In the past two weeks he's turned into an eating machine.

Good luck.
K.

I am a SAHM also. I have 3 kids ages 10, 7 and 2. I went through the same thing with all my kids. My 2 yr. old still does not eat much. They will eat when they are hungry, try not to force him. As long as you are giving healthy snacks along with healthy meals you really don't need to worry. If there has not been a big difference in his weight then he is getting enough food to keep him nourished. Soon enough he will want to eat almost all the time. Sorry to hear about the miscarrige. Good luck with baby #2!!!!

I wouldn't worry too much about it. Children eat when they are hungry, and your son may be receiving all the calories he personally needs for the day by lunchtime. It's probably just a phase. God bless you and your family!

Aleisha,

Quit worrying. Children are much better at listening to their bodies at his age than at any other time (including adulthood). He will eat when he is hungry and only as much as he needs. You decribed him as "thriving". If he were not eating enough, you couldn't have said that. Did you realize that a serving for a toddler is only about 5 or 6 half inch bites? Believe it or not, that is true. We often try to over feed our children because the serving size they need looks incredibly small. But keep in mind that just as your stomach is about the size of your fist, so theirs is about the size of their fist. Ask your son to ball up his fist (you may have to show him with your hand) and take a close look at just how small that is. Then you will be able to feel more comfortable about how much he is eating.

C. P.

Dear Aleisha,

The most important meal of the day is breakfast. Unless your son's doctor feels he doesn't weigh enough, you should relax. Ask your doctor about his weight. If it makes you feel better, ask you doctor should he take vitamins.

Best of luck,
B.

I wouldn't worry about it. Toddlers go thru this off and on for a while. Kinda the same as they did as infants, going thru growth spurts where they'd eat more, then taper off. Same concept for toddlers. As long as he's getting good healthy foods in him when he DOES eat, it's no biggie. Remember that a baby or toddler isn't going to starve themselves. They'll eat when they're ready. Just relax, Momma! :-)

i kind of agree with your husband. kids eat when they want to. where adults eat because they are bored and it sounds good and portions are to big. this is what you look at is his weight ok? does it steadly move up. my son is four he is only 35 pds and my other son is two and weights about 30 pds. my 2 year old eats everything. my almost five year old is the pickiest eater. and sometime it only consist of bananas and bread and ok. hates milk won't drink it even if he dies of thirst. does not eat harly no meat but a couple pieces of chicken and one or two pieces of bacon. and there is some days that he does not have no meat. i offer it but unless i want to make him eat it by force he will not. so don't worry. he will eat when he is hungry and as long as he is eating each meal. he is fine. my nephew eats like a half a cup of chicken noodles for dinner and he is like 12 .

I think he is a typical 19 month old eater. At this age, we questioned my girls' eating or not eating enough, and until recently (25 months) we are ok with them eating what they want and not fighting with them when they say they are done. The Parents or Parenting magazine in February had a good article about toddlers' eating habits. Check out their websites, because the article made me feel way better. If I recall correctly, the meal times for kids this age is about 10-20 minutes. After that, they are no longer interested. My girls also eat a wonderful breakfast, and each meal after that they eat a little less. We supplement with healthy snacks and water between meals. Good luck.

Don't worry too much, Mom!

Kids have a better understanding of HUNGRY/FULL than we realize. At any given age, kids need only that number of tablespoons of nutritious food a day (4yrs - 4 Tablespoon)
I know it seems like too little, but kids go thru spurts and slow periods of growth. (by all means keep offering good nutritious food - no junk)
D.

I had the same problem with my son who is now 5. Every time I questioned the doctor, she would say he was ok and would eat when he was hungry. She did recommend mixing Carnation instant breakfast with his milk, so he would get the vitamins he needs. He loves the vanilla! Also shortly after that we found out he has allergies, the very first day he took his allergy medicine he started eating more, it seems that since the membranes in his nose were messed up from the allergies, he didn't really taste much, made sense, the doctor said he was just eating until he was full because he wasn't really crazy about how anything tasted. I am sure I would eat a lot less too if I couldn't really taste much :) Hope some of this helps. A.

It has been my experience with my three little ones that one good meal a day is sufficient sometimes. I think that someone told me once, or I read somewhere, that if they are hungry they will eat. I don't think that you want to force them to eat. As long as you are offering healthy meals and snacks throughout the day I think you are doing just fine. Your child may be going through a period of time when he does not eat much, and later on he will eat more. Another thing to keep an eye on is his weight, to make sure that he is not significantly losing weight.
Best wishes to you.

Your sons stomach is only as big as his little fist.When he is hungry he will eat more.Forcing him to eat when he isn't hungry will cause weight problems in the future.Relax, he will be fine all kids go through eating and not eating phases.
And never tell him to clean his plate cause other kids have none,My parents pulled that one on me.

As someone who has struggled with my weight all my life I would say that as long as he is eating healthy foods and is growing up to par, you should not make food an issue.
Our society makes way too much todo about food, and if you look around you will realize that it is nearly an obsession.
If he knows what his capacity is then so be it....so many of us don't....when he is hungry have the healthy food there for him.

I am someone whose mother was over anxious about my eating habits -- I didn't like food as a child -- and I am here to tell you calm down, your child is perfectly normal. I suspect your anxiety stems from your issues with miscarrying and trying to get pregnant. Miscarriages happen for a reason; rarely because you didn't do something right. Your child will let you know when he is hungry and when he has had enough. Your behavior will send him signals that something might be wrong with him and you don't want that. You sound like a really good mother; relax and enjoy being one. The next child will come when it's supposed to.

My 16 month old daughter doesn't eat either. As long as he is still growing properly at his checkups I probally wouldn't worry. My daughter was at 25% on the growth charts and just suddenly dropped off the charts. She was not getting the nutrition she needed to grow properly so we had to put her on a nutritional supplement(pedisure). So just make sure he is still around the same on the growth charts that he has been. Good Luck.

As my old time family physician told us, when he is hungry he will eat. Just make sure he gets a good vitamin to keep things strong inside.

Believe me, he got hungry one day and he started to eat. He is now 26 yrs old, 176 pounds, 5'11" and has to watch what he eats.

P. R

Don't stress over it- he will eat when he's hungry. With all the obesity in this country, we don't need to add to it by force-feeding our children (I'm not saying you do, but I've seen parents giving their toddlers adult portions-shame!) AS long as He's healthy, you're doing a great job.

I raised three kids and my philosophy was "if a kid is hungry, he will eat". I also have a 19 month old grandson who is going through the same thing. He is a little underweight so my dgtr is trying to give him snacks. Make sure he drinks milk, eats vegetables and fruit. If he is losing weight, talk to your doctor. Otherwise, just relax, he will soon be cleaning out the fridge!

Hi Aleisha-
I have gone through this at various times with my children. Their pediatrician has always assured me that they will eat when they are hungry. All you can do is offer him the food. Children stop eating when they are full- unlike adults who tend to "clean their plates"! Good luck!

you have to remember just how small his stomach is! I agree w/ your husband. I wouldn't try and feed him when he's certainly not hungry. That only leads to eating disorders and obesity. His little body will TELL HIM when it's time to eat. Maybe his digestion is slow.

Regardless......if you're giving him quality stuff, then I wouldn't worry about it.

Children will eat enough to stay healthy. Your job is to provide a wide variety of healthy foods - his is to eat it. Most adult greatly overestimated the portion size for a toddler. Remember that it's 1 or 2 teaspoons per age. So just 1 or 2 green beans is a serving of veggies! When my kids were young, they'd eat about 2-3 tablespoons total at each meal on average. They all ate a great breakfast, a little lunch and rarely more than 1 or 2 bites at dinner.

I know exactly where you are coming from and believe it or not your husband is right. My son is 21 months old and he does the same thing. He normally eats a good lunch, but for Breakfast and dinner he normally takes a few bites and says he is done. I know he'll grow out of it. My oldest will be 4 next month and I would say he didn't start eating 3 good meals a day until he turned 3. I didn't worry too much because he has stayed on his growth chart and seems healthy. As long as your son isn't losing weight, I wouldn't worry too much. I think they just like knowing this is one of the few things they can control in their life at this age! Hope this helps!!

Your son sounds like a typical almost two year-old. I have two children with another on the way and sometimes I don't know how they eat enough to stay alive:) It's pretty typical for kid's appetites to slow way down once they've hit a year old though. Keep in mind that kids don't eat like we do (just because it's dinner time). They really listen to their own bodies and if they are not hungry, they don't want to eat. I have a good friend who is a dietician and it drives her crazy that her son is the same way, but as she says-that's what vitamins are for. As long as he is growing and gaining weight that is satisfactory for your Dr., things will even out eventually.

Read "My Child Won't Eat!" by Dr Carlos Gonzalez. It addresses exactly this issue and will help put your mind at rest. Essentially, it says that healthy kids will not starve themselves. He eats as much as he needs to eat. And he eats more in total than you probably realize. Most toddlers don't eat much at all, especially compared to when they were babies. But that's ok because their growth has slowly so much too. And many toddlers only eat one good meal a day. You have to look at nutrition as a long term thing (on the scale of a week at a time, not a day at a time). Your job as parent is only to supply healthy choices for him. Pushing him to eat is prone to only cause either overeating and obesity or eating disorders like anorexia. Just know that he'll eat when he needs to eat!

The first and most important question, is he healthy? I mean is his weight and all that stuff normal? Does his doctor have nay concerns? I have two girls (6 and 3) and honestly, somedays I am suprised they have not wasted away. Does your son drink a lot? My girls would drink all day if I let them. If he is constently drinking he could be filling up that way. I'm sure you've heard "he'll eat when he's hungry." That is hard for us mom's to hear. There are only a few things we can control to make sure our kids are healthy and if they are not eating, how can they possibly be healthy, right? Check with his doctor to see if you can give him some vitamens. At least then you will know he is getting some nutrients. It is encouraging to hear that he is not picky! Sound like you are doing all the right things. He may not be growing right now, that could be a casue too. Maybe you should take the extra money that he is not using for food and put it into a savings account for when he gets to be a teenager and your grocery bills double !! :)

Sweetheart DO NOT try to change your childs wonderful habit of eating only until he is no longer hungry! If he continues this pattern into his adulthood you will NEVER have an overweight child. Just remember to keep the in between meals as fruits and vegetables. You are ahead of the game already since he does not want to eat until he has consumed all YOU think he should eat.

Just wait until he is a teenager and starts to eat according to his growing body! You will wonder if he will ever stop. I have a boy who would not eat much of anything and when he became 12 and 13 he ate 7 or so banannas a day along with apples and oranges and his favorite food is broccoli and baked potatoes. He loved chicken and beef and thinks chicken nuggets is a food group!. lol. He is smart and healthy. He gets straight A's and does his chores without more than a sigh!

Be thankful and enjoy that baby. And God Bless you and your entire new family.

you are over-reacting. don't force the issue. he will eat more when he is hungry.

E.

sounds like the same thing myson did, his doc said it was just a phase, that babies need a resting stage between growth spurts, & that if he's not loosing weight & growing in height & not listless, then he's fine..& sure enough, he started eating us out of house & home. i pretty much have it down to a t now when his growth spurts kick in & always have something availible for him to eat. he's 5yrs old now & is in 8yr old clothing..just keep an eye out for when he starts wanting to eat more & sleep more those are usually 2 signs of a growth spurt.

I had a similar problem with my daughter. She would only nurse for few moments and then be finished. Then would want to nurse again in a short time later. When she was older she would only eat enough to make a bird full. When I talked with my pediatrician even in the beginning he said that she was a "half tanker". Meaning she would only eat enough to get satisfy her hunger then come back for more when she would be hungry. Hope that helps a little.

Hi Aleisha, I am a mother of three grown children and the grandmother of three young ones. Children go through times when they don't eat as well as you might think they should. Usually, they get through this on thier own without any encouragement and without any problems. As long as he seems healthy and he is getting enough fluids, and not losing weight, he will be fine. Usually nothing to worry about. Have you tried supplementing his diet with pediasure, or something like it? If you are really worried, talk to your pediatrician, they can guide you through any questions you might have. Good luck with this and your attempts at a second child.
V. H

My daughter is the same way (22 mons old). She eats a great meal at breakfast and then not so good for lunch and dinner. She just went to the doctor and is growing and advancing just fine. We went through it with my 6 year old son as well, and it was the same, he grew and advanced great. It just seems like it is a phase that they go through. I noticed with my son when he would hit a growth spurt you couldnt feed him enough and I am sure my daughter will be the same way.

I understand your worry, I worry too, but I have been there and my son is just fine and is a great eater now. Good luck.

Don't worry your son will be fine. He is actually getting at the age where he probably wont eat that much for a while but he will grow out of that stage. As long as he is eating breakfast and a little bit at lunch and supper he is fine. I went through this with my kids and they are all fine and I talked with their doctor and he said it is fine that most kids go through this and they will eat when they are hungry. Don't stress! He will pass through this stage in time.
D.

I am 31 yrs. old. I have been married going on 12 yrs. this Nov. and my husband and I have 3 boys ages 10,7 and 4.

My nephew has always been like that. My sister talked to the dr. a lot on the subject and as long as he looks healthy and such, don't worry. Some people just don't need as much as others. My nephew is now 5 years old and he's a very healthy boy. He still eats like this...then all of the sudden one day he'll eat 3 times as much. Kids usually know better when they are hungry and nurishment. Don't worry, Mom.

Hi aleisha, im 74 and have 10 children.if yu have been to dr with yur child and he says hes healthy, dont worry.i think yur husband is right, yu are worrying too much.yur child will eat when hes hungry. Also remember breakfast is the best meal of the day for yu. Yu can give him juices and jellos and puddingsand even mash bannanas in milk for him to drink. Dont yu worry yur child will eat when he wants. Hope ing for luck with baby 2 M.

Hi Aleisha,

Your little guy sounds like a typical toddler to me. I usually see toddlers eat one good meal, one so-so meal and one meal that they're just not hungry for. Their growth really slows down after a year of age, so they don't eat as much. You'll want to watch how much milk and juice he's drinking, though. These can really fill him up, so he's not hungry for other foods. Hope this helps, A..

we were told that babies/toddlers will eat when they are hungry and frustrate moms when they are not. as long as your ped says he is healthy and gaining weight there is no reason for concern. sit back and enjoy, it will get better.
(mom of 2 one a 23 month old scavenger when it comes to eating.)

I had the same worries when my son was small.. he would eat just a very little in a day but i took him to the doctor and he said.. Matt would eat when he was hungry. my son is now 21 and very healthy and has 2 children of his own.. so they will eat when they are hungry.. no worries.

Not any thing to worry over! :) i always had a small appetite and don't you remember ever hearing that a person's stomach holds about the amount of food that will fit into- is it one or two hands? so it really is not much. Growing up i was always encouraged to eat more. But my appetite was satisfied! i started getting picky about the things i ate at about 2 or 3 years. Ate hotdogs but i would have to have the skin peeled off it first then i got to where i would peel it off myself and then i finally would eat them without peeling off the skin. I didn't eat much meat besides hotdogs and bologna- texture- could not chew a piece of steak - i could chew it but it would never break down! :) Very picky eater i was but i ate lots of peanutbutter and drank lots of milk- the doc. said i was okay and not to worry about me so my mom didn't worry and all was well.
And i never ate much- that is really good to listen to one's body and to know when enough is enough - your son will never have to worry about being over-weight if he always listens to his body like that...and also i was particular about what i Felt like eating- my body wanted different foods at different times. TruST that no child is going to starve themselves naturally! But i would Not eat something i did not want to eat even if i was hungry...staying at a babysitters one night i went without dinner but i was fine with it- i sat there for i believe over an hour but i was Not going to eat that- she was a tough cookie old lady so i bet i sat there for several hours. No big deal. But no child is going to turn down food they like if they are hungry- they just won't. They will eat. i say keep giving your son foods prepared to be visually pleasing( i would not eat sloppy looking food like say baked beans or potatoes with gravy and everything was kept from touching the other on my plate). As he gets older you will know better what he likes and does not.
There are many foods i did not eat until in my 20's! But for me it was great because i actually had New foods to enjoy!-Like broccolli which my mother had always over cooked so i Never was interested in the least -and oatmeal. It MIGHT help a bit to eat with your son but... i bet he will still eat just enough to satisfy his body's hunger. and that's gooood.