Someone Make Me Feel Better About Moving with an 8 Year Old

We moved every 3 to 4 years. Lots of kids do. Most seem to adjust very well.

It's great that you're moving in summer. There will be other new kiddos at the school.

He'll be fine - if everyone has computer access you can set up skype or facetime (apple products) to let them video conference for free.

This is the right age. If he is outgoing, it shouldn't be a problem. We almost moved right after 4th grade, but ended up not doing it. My dd was actually disappointed. She was looking forward to meeting new friends.

We didn't give our kids a say. We told them we were moving and that it was going to be an adventure! :)
We dropped them into a new state, new house, new school, new friends. They did just fine.
My parents moved us across the world and we did fine. We were expected to do fine.

Umm, I moved every 2-3 years growing up. It's NORMAL for a lot of people to move all the time, especially military families. So think about those kids who sometimes more every 6 months, and don't get to be near family at all.

Stop researching it, because he will be fine. The more freaked out you are about this the worse it will be for him. Just go with the flow and things will be fine.

He is at a good age to make the move especially since you are planning on doing it between grades. He will end the school year with his buddies and begin the new year with new friends.

I found it easier to move in the summer. This would mean that my kids would be new along with many others on the first day of school in the new school and they would make new friends. It is a bit different when the school year has started and you have to prove yourself to make new friends.

Visit the new town a bit more and explore it with your son. Get out the computer and work up a "Where in the town is?" Then you set out to find all the interesting things for him to explore and enjoy. You too may also find out some things that you didn't know about the home town. Reconnect with the friends that you had but also make sure that you make new ones with similar likes and interests.

Enjoy the extra time you have together as a family. Remember money isn't everything. Having a cohesive family unit that is happy is more important. Besides when you weigh everything the so called pay cut may be an increase because you are now traveling as much and will need as much to live on. Rework your budget and you will be surprised where the so called extra money went that you can now use in your new location.

Best of luck to you and yours. I moved about every four years to different states and countries while hubby was active duty and the kids were little. It got a bit more difficult in high school. We stayed in Europe for one to graduate with his class. We stayed in New Mexico so that the other could graduate with her class (we moved when she was about to go into eighth grade and that was hard).

Besides that your son can Skype his old friends for a while. After a bit they will kind of fade away into memories. This is part of life and it is not a bad thing. New friends will replace the old. Just be positive and all will work out fine.

the other S.

Mostly, it will depend on how YOU react to the move.

We moved in 1991 from Iowa to central Texas..... my kids had been born in Iowa, and had lived there their entire life. (Our families were in Kansas, though... not Iowa.)

It was a major corporate transfer... and one of those job offers you can't refuse... "Move, or go find a new job."

Anyway, our kids were almost 10, 8, almost 6, and 6 months.

We all treated it as a GREAT adventure! We didn't mope around about it and worry.... we knew that kids tend to be more resilient than the adults on stuff like this.

They all did great!

We weren't able to involve the kids in the house-hunting trip, or that kind of planning, but it all worked out just fine.

Talk about all the POSITIVE things about the move... and as you said, don't project YOUR fears and concerns on him.

If YOU are not traumatized, if the move is good for all of you, he will be fine. If you are an emotional wreck about it, he will feel that. You really need to let go of the dream of roots. It's a NICE dream, but it's not the end of the world when you move as long as you don't MAKE it the end of the world. It's an adventure - treat it that way. We just moved my son last year - he was part of the packing adventure, the moving, etc. It's just something that happens.

Military kids do it all the time. We moved every 3 years ... Sure there were some adjustments that had to be made and losses to be grieved, but that was 40+ years ago. Think of the technology updates since then. Your little guy will be fine. Stop googling the bad things and focus on the good times with Daddy home more for everyone.

If he is as happy, outgoing, compassionate and adaptable as you say... then he will be just fine. As long as YOU keep your worries about his adjustment to yourself.

We moved into a new house (same county, but 25 miles further north) and the kids into a new school (private school where they knew NO ONE) when our son was 9 and daughter was 6. 4th and 1st graders. They did great. Made new friends. Adjusted to the new house. It was absolutely fine.

My son is pretty relaxed and makes friends easily as well. I have always talked to them about being welcoming to new kids coming into their school (way before we ever thought about moving) so they have seen "the new kid" from the other side. Son made one of his best friends ever that year. It's been 6 years since then and he's no longer at that school, but he still keeps in touch with his best friend from there. Daughter really didn't have a best friend before the move. But she made one at the new school. Her friend called me her aunt and my daughter called her mom the same.

There were no ugly mood swings, or waking up at night with bad dreams, or anything at all.

If YOU take it in stride, so will he.
Think of the possibilities! :)

Bmamma, don't feel guilty about it; you are making the right decision for your family, sometimes this involves, moving, changing schools, etc. We have moved two times with my then 2nd grader and even though she was apprehensive she adapted beautifully. She is a very bright, friendly and roll with the punches kind of girl (she is almost 12), and part of her laid back attitude was my own positive attitude to moving and life changes in general.
anyways, don't worry mama he will be fine.

We recently moved with an 8 year old. To be honest, the children loved it! We had to change schools from one that we loved, but there was no problem with starting the new one. Remain positive and upbeat, and make it into an exciting adventure for him.

Remember that many things can be "traumatic" for kids. New sibling, starting school, etc. Trauma or not, the move is happening.

The best thing you can do this year is prepare your son. Gather contact information of his friends, take lots of photos. Ensure that he'll be able to keep his happy memories with him for a long time.

I think in a way it's good for him to learn to adapt in a new environment. Plus, doing it now is much better than waiting till middle school. My mom moved us away when I was 12 and my sister 9. I did not adjust well at all but my sister did fine.

Updated

I think in a way it's good for him to learn to adapt in a new environment. Plus, doing it now is much better than waiting till middle school. My mom moved us away when I was 12 and my sister 9. I did not adjust well at all but my sister did fine.

My husband moved every year of Elementary School and has no regrets - he had fun meeting new people and doesn't look back on it with any negative feelings. I was an elementary school teacher for a long time (third grade!) and I always tried to pair up new students with friendly students. They seem to adapt quickly. Just make an effort to set up play dates, join teams, etc and he will make friends quickly. I think that our worry as parents is always worse than what actually happens.

He will be fine. We moved a LOT when I was a kid. It didn't get hard until middle school. Luckily I was able to stay at the same high school for most of the four years, moving and changing schools at that point would have been awful.
Just remember, moving is normal, it's not the end of the world. Military kids move all the time, and parents change jobs, get transferred, etc. Unless your child has serious emotional and social problems he will adapt and thrive.
I would also advise not to talk about it too much, that could actually stress your son out even more. Stay positive and upbeat and don't share your own feelings of anxiety. It's all going to work out for the best!

The situation you're describing sounds a lot like what happened to a good friend of mine. Her boy was the same age when they moved away and sounds a lot like your son.

You'll be delighted to know that the move did nothing but broaden his horizons. He blossomed even more, made more friends, and still had the stability of knowing that a huge core of people still loved him and missed his friendship. We will always be his hometown friends and he can carry that thought and keep it when he needs to. But so far, he hasn't needed to be reassured.

I miss this family every day, but I know the kids will be fine. And I predict, so will yours. Good luck!!

You need to do what is right for your family. He will be fine. Military kids move every. Opulent of years and do fine. He will make new friends. Makes for a flexible child and that is always good.

We moved every 3 years. To move up you moved out. We moved overseas as well.

It was a way of life and you just went with the flow. My mom was amazing with her excitement. She would go to the library and get all the information about where we were moving to. She made it an adventure.

Stop goggling and getting the scary stuff. Make this an adventure for you son and yourself. It will be okay.

I think it's sweet that you are so caring and sensitive about your son. You sound like a great mom.

I'm one of those moving horror stories, unfortunately. We moved when I was in 7th grade, and then again in 9th grade. It was terrible, to say the least.

But the good news is that my youngest sister was only in 3rd grade, and she seemed to adapt much better than I did.

So . . . I think if you're going to do it now is the time.

Good luck and hang in there. Everything will work out. Because you're so sensitive to your son's needs you will be able to help him smooth over the rough edges.

I'm a teacher and I've seen lots of new kids. Sometimes it can take a year to fully adjust, but most do fine much sooner than that. And, in my experience, elementary is a much better time than middle or high school for changes. If he's an adaptable kid, he'll do fine. Good luck!

Kids move all the time. And I grew up in a small town, whenever someone new came to our class, they were always popular because we'd always been with the same kids and these kids were new and shiny.

Well, we have moved a few times with our kids, and it has gone well each time. The last time we moved, my oldest was 8 (youngest was 5), AND it was in the middle of the school year, just to make things really fun for all of us. ;) So, we had to uproot the kids from their school (which they both loved) and all of their friends in the middle of October. To top it off, it was a forced move (I was told by the company I worked for at the time that I had 30 days to move, or lose my job). We really didn't have much notice or time to prepare the kids.

All that being said, you would think this would have been a traumatic move for the kids. But it wasn't. We made a conscious effort to treat it like an adventure - searching for a new house, walking by the school they'd go to if we chose that house, playing at the closest park to each house to see how we liked it. The kids actually had a great time. My stress level was through the roof, but they never knew it.

In terms of packing, I had the kids help me pack up their things and label each box. That way, they knew which boxes on the moving truck were theirs, and that their things were definitely coming with us.

I really think your attitude toward the move is going to set the tone for him. If you are matter-of-fact about it (we have to move because of Daddy's job, and his job is what keeps a roof over all of our heads... You will get to see Daddy more often after we move...), and treat it as an adventure (we're going to get a new house, and we will look for a yard where you can have a dog... or where your room has a view of the park... or where we will have a playroom where you can set up your Xbox...), then he will be happy. If you treat him like this move is going to scar him for life, it probably will. (Well, actually, no it won't. Kids are pretty resilient!)

In the meantime, check out FlyLady's tips for moving. Her ideas will help you maintain your sanity as you prepare to move. Good luck!

Can you go visit where you'll be moving a few times before the move? If he makes new friends there he'll adjust more to it, sort of looking forward to seeing his new friends.

I understand how you feel. Too bad hubby can't find work where you are. Sounds like you're really happy there.

We just moved a few weeks ago with our almost 8 year old and almost 5 year old. It was super exciting for our youngest, but harder on our eldest. She definitely had her moments of being upset or sad, she still talks about her friends at her old school... But she has done very well. She tells me she loves her new school better, and her teacher too. She has always made friends very easily, but it took her a little while here at the new school. After 4weeks of school, you would never know she was the new girl.

My advice: keep all lines of communication open. Ask him how he feels, but don't overwhelm him by harping on it. Make him feel like a valuable member of the family by asking his opinion on the new house: who should get what room, paint colors, etc. Also, kids learn by example. When he sees you make an effort to go out and meet new people, it will help set him at ease and he may do better.

Best of luck to you and your family!!

What will help a great deal is to make the move in June so he will have time to get adjusted and maybe make a friend in the neighborhood before schools starts back up. Even if your husband has to start work sooner, maybe you could stay to finish out the school year. This helped my daughter TREMENDOUSLY!

We were lucky enough to move into a neighborhood with alot of kids so she got to know them over the summer. And one was even in her grade and they ended up with the same teacher too. That was almost 2 years ago, and they are inseparable BFFs now.

I think walking into a classroom in the middle of the school year as the new kid could be very traumatizing for some kids... I know it would have been for mine and for me as a kid. But I think if you handle it right and give them time to adjust before dropping the pressure of school and learning and fitting in on them, they will adjust and be happier.