Our Family Is Moving 6 Yr Old Scared to Death and Excited

i just moved during a school year with my popular five year old daughter. I went in to meet her new class with her and showed her why she didn't need to be scared and that although these kids were new to her they were just as nice as her old friends. i also let her keep in touch with her old friends. so now she has double the fun.

I don't have any advice on your request. I just wanted to say "God Bless You". I too have a little one in heaven. It's been about 18months. His twin brother, thank God, is still with us. I know what a hard road it is. I'm not sure how long it's been for you, but if you ever want to talk... I'd love it.
T.

I wouldn't worry about it. If I were you I'd play it up and tell her how she's going to have so much fun making new friends, and seeing lots of new things. We are a military family. Our daughter had to leave Kindergarten near the end of the year. We came to NY and she made friends fast, and settled in well. She started 1st at the same new school and then we decided to buy a house. That put her and my oldest son switching schools during the year. They both transitioned well with no problems at all. If you are moving close to any holiday party though you might try to let her stay until after the party. That's what we did when we bought our house right before Halloween. Luckily we were close enough I drove them for a week so they could go to their halloween party at the old school. Then Nov 1st (I think was the date last year) they both started in their new school. I just drove them the first day, walked them to class to meet the teacher, and they both rode the bus home that afternoon. I have just found that as long as I haven't made a big deal of it the kids haven't either.

Our family moved last year. My two older boys were 10 and 7 at the time. The first day in their "new school" was the day before my middle son's 8th birthday! Are you close enough that you can visit the school before they enter? We did that with ours and that helped ease some of the tension. The school should be able to give you a tour, show you which classroom he'd be in, introduce him to the teacher, etc. You can also do some things to make it an exciting change - get a new backpack or lunch box, even a new outfit for the "first day". At this age, I think it's much easier to adapt to a move. I was very worried too, but things have worked out very well. Remember that they can sense our stress, so try not to worry too much. Have him get addresses/phone numbers/e-mail of the kids in his class so he can write to them about his new school. My boys thought that was pretty cool. Good luck and enjoy your move!!

LB, sadly I have moved a few times over the years when my children were young like that. Although it was a bit tough for them at first they both did adapt very well. I think that when they are little it is probably alot easier. I couldnt imagine trying to move then now (ages 12 & 15) think it would be alot tougher you know? I hope she is ok. Would love to hear how she makes out in the future. Good Luck

Dear LB,

We moved in the middle of the year when my son was in 4th grade. Fortunately, we only moved across town and they let my son finish the year out in his old school. When September came it wasnt any easier than if we would have moved him mid year. He was nervous about making new friends, liking his teachers, etc... but he made a new friend the first day and he actually made some better friends in the new school.

I dont know how far you are moving from where you are now, but if it is possible you should try to make arrangements to have your daughters friends over on the weekends. She will be excited to show off her new room, etc. and it will give her something to look forward to all week long.

Kids seem to adapt way faster than us adults so I wouldnt be too worried. Just make sure you also talk to her about how she is feeling, all throughout the process.

I hope everything goes well. Good Luck in your new place.

Keep me posted :)!

~ Cyn

A lot depends on your kid. I was brought up in Rochester. I had friends, I was happy. My parents decided to move to Ohio at the end of second grade. My mom was up about it; my dad was somewhat melancholy about it; I am sure they told me it was a good move finanacially etc. etc. I was a shy child. We moved to Cincinnati. It took me a long time to make friends. I eventually felt at home, at which time (only 9 months later, before the end of third grade) my parents told me we were moving to Columbus. Columbus was more enigmatic for me. The school was a suburbian school and not easy for someone like me to fit into. I eventually made some friends and I did voluntarily switch schools in High school. I can only say that through everything my heart was always in Rochester. After I got married, we ended up coming to Rochester. Even now, everytime my husband complains about the weather, etc. and talks about moving to warmer climate, I have a stroke of panic set it. It's all emotional, and doesn't make a whole lot of sense,I'm sure, and I can't explain why I feel this way, but I always have. I tell you this because it is not easy for some people. Others move their whole lives and just think nothing about it. I think the approach to your child is very important. I would emphasis the good and the bad. I do remember my mother telling me that my good friends would still be friends no matter where, and I do have to say that I am still in touch with some of my former friends, even though they have moved away from Rochester, and some of my elementary friends and/or family members have come back or are still here and we have kept in touch.

Well having been that child I would say it depends on a lot, how outgoing your child is, what kind of area you will be moving to, and how you respond to her behavior.
I was outgoing as a child, until after our 2nd move kids weren't too nice, then the third move the kids were terrible and I ocmpletely locked myself inside of myself until High School (this was 3rd grade). The first move I speak of was our 3rd overall, but my first while in school, and we moved from one state to another, and from the country to the city, being it was 2nd grade it was ok. When the next move came and I went to a rich suberb, having come from the city, it was terrible. Kids were so mean to me I would come home and cry. By 4th grade I was in time out every day, and visiting the principle every 2 weeks.. (My parents also got divorced at this time). Part of my problems overall was my mother ignored me when I told her kids were being mean, and when I took on new interests, she ignored them too. Anything from new clothing styles to taking music classes. So as long as you are a tentative parent, things should go smoothly, unless there is a drastic change, but with a lot of love from you it will all be ok. Just remember change can be a much bigger deal to kids than us because they still can't see the bigger picture of life. Good luck!