Some Advice About Work-children

Hi Y.,
Gosh I know how you feel! I work full time and have two little girls. When I get home from work, my husband leaves for work so trying to divide my time betwen my girls, and the housework is not easy. I really envy those women whose houses are always spotless! The way I see it, my girls are only going to be little for a short amount of time. The moments with them are fleeting and they're a precious gift. I consider that more important than dishes or laundry. The housework will always be there, your kids will not. I do try to keep things up by taking an hour each night after they go to bed (8:00) to tidy up and one weekend day to do a top-to-bottom cleaning. I don't always get to, but I'd rather not have my girls look back at their childhood with me and say "Gee, my mom never spent much time with me but boy was our house clean!" It's a hard balance and i sure wish my house was spotless but some things are just more important. I hope that helps.

I totally hear you because I seriously give total props to working mothers. I don't know HOW you guys do it!

But, I will say that I ask my friends who work how they get by and this is what the best plan was that I was ever told...my friend, Christina, said that she did one every night she did dishes and every morning before work she put them away. She always made sure to wake up before her son. Before he got up, she would shower, put away dishes, and figure out what was for dinner that night. Then, once she got home from work, she made dinner and started the dish washer if it needed it. After that, it was all about her son, and then after he went to bed she did one thing, it was either clean the bathroom, kitchen, etc., but since she was doing this, on the weekends she didn't have much to do to get caught up on housework. She also did one load of laundry every other night. This wasn't a big deal to her and didn't take away time from her son. I thought what she was doing was brilliant, and she never felt like she was behind in cleaning or that she wasn't spending enough time with her son. In the beginning, you may have to write down what you'd like to do everyday, but after a while you'd be in such a routine that you'd do it naturally.

Another thing that works great for me during months where I'm flipping a house and working everyday is keeping Clorox wipes in all the bathrooms. That way, since my kids make messes of mirrors and counters in there, I just have to grab and wipe real quick while I'm in there and the bathroom looks clean.

My husband and I work full-time. And you're right...it is hard to juggle keeping the house clean, spending time with the kids, etc.

One important thing we've learned is: Make peace with imperfection.

The next we keep repeating to ourselves is: Is it more important to spend time with your children, or to have a perfectly clean and tidy house? We only have about 3 hours with our girls before bedtime. So - we try to do 2 loads of laundry a day, and our 4 year old loves to help. We save the dishes for after they go to bed, or while one of us is giving the kids a bath, the other tries to straighten up some.

We also will ask ourselves: If we can only do 1 thing today, what's the most important thing to get done?

There's a website that might prove helpful: www.flylady.com
It can help develop routines and make the household run a lot more smoothly.

Good luck!

Y.,
My husband & I work full time, too. My 2 daughters (from a previous marriage) live with us full time, and his 4 children live with us about 50% of the time. We're in constant motion.

I don't have any magic way to deal with it, but I think it's important for you to know you're not alone. I can ALWAYS find something that needs to be done in our house, and there is just not enough hours in the day to get everything done.

First of all, remember that your boys won't be toddlers forever. As they get older, they will be able to help. For example, our kids put their own 'stuff' away, make their own beds, put their own clean clothes away, gather up laundry for me, empty trash cans, set the table, etc. It really helps. Of course, with older kids, the extra time gets filled with homework, packing lunches, and sports/school events (all 6 of ours play soccer right now!!), but at least these activities are a little more rewarding than emptying trash cans! :)

Here is an idea: Make a list of all of your household responsibilities, and categorize them as daily chores and weekly chores. Ask your husband to choose a few items from each list to 'own'. This means you don't ever have to ask him to do them or remind him about them. They're his. Try to offload at least one thing that you particularly dread. I'm blessed to be married to a true partner, and he is more than willing to help. After all, when Mama is happy, everybody is happy! :)

As exhausting as it may seem, try your best to keep up with things during the week so you don't have to spend your whole weekend catching up. Pick things up at the end of each day. Do a load of laundry each day. Choose one weeknight to dust or vaccuum.

Lastly, keep things in perspective. Your kids will only be little once. Enjoy them.

I hope this helps!!