Softball vs Wedding

I don't think it would cause an uproar. I think that she needs to be there for her team. Who's dreams would you dash, your adult sister or half doz+ 13 year old girls. It is very impoortant for her to get to enjoy this with her friends. They have worked hard to get there. I don't know anyone that would be too upset by this news.
Good luck.

Championship is priority, for the reasons already listed.

Honestly, how many 13 year olds would want to be a a wedding rather than with friends. Ask her what she wants to do and if she choose the game, so be it. Tell you family that it was her decision and you support her. Also, think of it this way, you get a mini date night with your hubby...how often does that happen with kids in the house?

As a former softball coach and current volleyball coach, I know the importance of teams and a player's attendance.

My question is to you-What have you stressed with sports to your children? Is it if you commit to something, you stick with it? If so, you need to defend your values and explain that to your family and child. The fact that she is going with another family and some of you are going to the wedding shows your committment to both. Families will ALWAYS find something to be disappointed in.

I've had players change plans at the last minute after some very frustrating times in wondering if we'd play at a tournament or not to be there....keep praying and best wishes! It will work out in the end, and your family's well being is the most important. (Tell her to hit a homer in honor of her cousin!)

I wouldn't worry about other family members and just worry about your daughter, your sister, and her child that is getting married (I assume it is your sister's daughter as I don't think your sister's son would be as concerned).

All of you should go have lunch and you should explain the situation and how much this means to your daughter. If they are good people then they will understand...that is what a family is suppose to do. If they get mad, and upset then they need to reevaluate what family means to them. It is sad that with all the days in a year, two very important events would fall on the same day but it happens.

Congrats to you daughter for her big achievment and good luck to her team!

A.

Hi C.-

I don't know your family but I certainly wouldn't think anything of it if it was my 13 year old cousin that wasn't coming to my wedding. Certainly if she had been a bridesmaid or had another role to play in the ceremony it would have caused a problem, but if she was only to be a guest at the wedding I don't understand why they would be mad, disappointed perhaps, but I would hope they would understand.

I guess the only suggestion I have for you is to call the cousin directly to let him/her know that your daughter is sorry she won't be able to make it but she has a commitment to her team. If you feel that the cousin will be understanding maybe even have your daughter call him/her so that she can express how difficult a decision is was and that she is sorry that she will miss the wedding. As far as the rest of the family goes, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. If you need to let them know she won't be there then do so but otherwise I guess I don't think a big announcement is necessary.

Your family must be really close. Honestly if I was in a similar situation not only would my daughter miss the wedding to go play in the tournament, I would probably miss the wedding to go watch my daughter play in the state finals instead.

Sorry I wasn't able to be more helpful....

Good Luck,
K.

Hi C.,
I agree with everyone here. We have always taught our son that when he plays a team sport, he needs to think of the good of the whole team & not just himself. If missing the game means the whole team is hurt, then by all means have your daughter go to the game. Just explain to your cousin the whole situation & what will happen if your daughter misses the game. I'm sure she will understand.

C.
www.candlesarelove.com

Be honest..tell them your child will be attending a special soccer tournament and you are very sorry it coincides with the wedding, but your daughter missing the game means the entire team suffers, while she may be missed at the family event but it is not imperative for the wedding to go forward.

If your family cannot understand that there are times when difficult decision like these must be made, perhaps it is time to re-evaluate your relationship with them. At some point each one of them has had to make a personally difficult decision that would affect the desires of others around them and they need to be able to look at it from that perspective versus finding fault with your decision.

Good Luck!!! ;-)

Her whole team is counting on her to be there. I understand your families disappointment, but they should understand your daughter's commitment to her teammates and be proud of her for making it to the state tournament. Its not like she's missing the wedding to go to something inconsequential like a party or school dance, this is a big accomplishment for her.

Most people would understand the situation and not be too upset by it.

I would say if it causes an uproar then your family may have their priorities wrong, I understand the importance of a wedding, But you have probably spent your daughters whole life teacher her to be responsible and follow through with her actions, if she misses this it would hurt her deeply I'm sure, but would also be sending her the wrong message about completing the things you start...
Good Luck to her team in the finals, hope they take it all!!

PS me personally , I would rather go to a ame than a wedding any day!!!

I agree with everyone else. You might want your daughter to make perhaps a mini-scrapbook /photo album of experiences and memories they have shared and have her hand write her a note saying something like,"I'm sorry I won't be there to share this moment with you but I put together a memory book of a bunch of other times we shared great moments, love you and conagratulations!"
Good luck to your daughter!