What Do You Skip as a Soccer Mom?

We don't miss games. If not enough players show up they have to forfeit and nobody gets to play. That's not fair. When you commit to play on a team, you have to commit to show up to all the games. I've missed one game due to a scheduled family vacation, but I emailed all the parents letting them know in advance, so enough of them would show up to avoid a forfeit.

Practice - that's a diferant story!

Oh the joys of sports! We have run into some of the same issues. My son is in Cub Scouts, Football and Baseball and now my daughter is at the age to start in extra activities as well.
For us, we will choose a game over almost anything. I want to show my kids that when you choose to be a part of something, you need to stay committed to it. We have had kids on our teams in the past that were not so committed and were only there about half the time. It puts more work on the players that are their for the game. However, If it is just a practice, we will skip it for a bday party. Family and friends are important.

I have two kids very active in sports. We have missed many parties friends and family alike. I was brought up that if you commit to a team you commit to be there for the team and that's how we are with our kids. I am more apt to miss a practice than I am to have them miss a game. The team counts on each of thier players, if there are too many players not there then sometimes the team has to forfiet and its not really fair to the other players, however there are the times when there are special circumstances, like a wedding, communion etc, at those times we give the coach notice before hand that the child will not be there. Each parent has to make thier own decsion for things like this, but that's my 2 cents! Hope it is a little helpful.

ah, the scheduling woes of a sports family. for us it was baseball. that league dictated our lives for over 10 years!
i think sports are a valuable part of childhood and there are few things that my kids really missed out on from being part of a team. there were a few parties, and some vacations that had to be rescheduled (especially if all-stars kicked in....what a mixed blessing THAT was) and there was endless frustration with dinner, homework and exhausted parents.
but it was worth it.
i agree with the posters who say family is more important than sports, but i think that family PARTIES are not. the nieces and nephews and cousins and grannies are all still there, and while it's best to party en famille, it's not a terrible big deal if you take a gift over another day, or take them out for ice cream, or just send a card. every now and then. family is family and a good family understand busy schedules. but if you can't commit to a team, at least most of the time, then you really shouldn't put your kids on one, KWIM?
the wins or losses really don't factor in.
khairete
S.

most soccer practices are only an hour. why do you have to miss something? Can't you just go a little bit late? I do think the practice is important. But I think that with the proper planning you can still go to things. bring her clean clothing and a washcloth to the practice. let her wash up change clothing and put on deodorant she will be fine.

I am a football mom. Most of the friends in the class also play sports and understand that Saturdays are game days and will intentionally schedule for Sunday instead. When we have conflicts, the team comes first. We made that commitment when we signed up. The team counts on you to be there and do your job and not just when its convinient.

I usually try to work things around my daughter's soccer games. If there was a b-day party and the soccer game ran into it I would let them know we would be running a little late. I even told my friend when I was one of her bridesmaids that I would be late to hair and make-up because my daughter had a game.
If its a close family member (like a sister) that's planning their kid's party I would ask her if she could push it back an hour later if I knew the times interfered. We never really have a problem with practices because they're usually on a Tuesday or Thursday when not much is going on.
I think my daughter has only missed 2 games out of 3 seasons because once she was sick and once we were on vacation. I do think they should be there for their team unless its totally unavoidable.

If we are on the team, we do not miss for any reason other than illness.

Not too much, actually. It's all in the planning. Granted, we don't have family all around us...but if we did, then I'd expect I'd give them the soccer schedule in an email at the beginning of the season, not because they need to work around me by any means, but because they might want to come to our games and stuff. I know that my son's friend is playing Tball and we have his schedule so we can cheer him on when we're able, and they have our son's kung fu tournaments on the calendar and have come when he was testing for a belt to show their support. That way, they'd at least know you weren't flaking out on them because hey, they had the schedule ahead of time that said you have a game.
We're pretty strict on team practices and games, a commitment is a commitment. I agree whole heartedly that sometimes you have to leave a party early or arrive a little late because of a prior commitment. But if it was something special or a VERY close person, not just "normal" close relationship, I'd make an exception if I felt an exception was warranted. We've missed a game for a funeral, and we missed some KF practices if he was sick, but that's all so far.
Don't forget to practice at home: that makes for fun family time (you're taking interest in your child's interest, and that means SO much)....real basic stuff like practicing basic drills, running with the ball, in/out of cones with the ball (make it a fun relay), 1 touch and 2 touch passing, "etc" and include cousins, neighbors, etc.
I think it's funny that one mom said "Sports won't be there forever" and used it to support sports NOT being a priority. I would use that exact same phrase to support why it SHOULD be a priority for now....your kids won't have this chance to play, feel part of a team, build their confidence, have fun, make friends, etc forever.

Luckily I really don't have to deal with this (no family close by) but I have several friends who do. It seems like they are always running here or there to someone's birthday or anniversary or something with the family. Why not keep the obligation to the sports and then spend a couple hours another day with the niece or nephew? If there are a buch of people at the party how much time do you really get to spend with them? Take them to a movie or lunch date instead. I realize it is their special day but if you have the ability to see them all the time, take advantage of the other times.

My son plays competitive soccer - everything but homework and school related activities take a backseat to his soccer. He has missed practice for a choir performance and an all day field trip, but never missed a game. This summer we qualify for select, so it's tournaments all summer, our vacation is even being planned around them.

My daughter plays rec soccer. She'll miss practices if we have something else important going on, but it's only happened a handful of times in 6 seasons. She's missing one game this season to do a mud run with friends, it's the first she's ever missed. She will probably go competitive in the fall and her schedule will mirror my son's.

Soccer is a team sport, and the team needs all the players. Skipping out on soccer games hurts the whole team. Skipping practices hurts both the team and your player. Players need to attend practice to learn the skills and how to behave together in a game situation. There is a player on my son's competitive team who misses practice a lot. Single mom with carpool issues, I understand, but it's really hurt this boy in terms of fitting in to the team. The other boys don't trust him with the ball because they don't ever get a chance to practice with him. IMO when you commit to a team it becomes a priority for the duration of the season. You make a choice to join knowing there will sometimes be sacrifices.

By joining a team sport, you have made a commitment to that team and it would be unfair to then not follow through on that commitment. Plus, it teaches children responsibility and ownership. But there is always a balance. Your 11 year old daughter is old enough to understand that sometimes you have to choose, although you may not like it. My 13 year old has been playing soccer since she was 5. She has had her share of missing activities (parties, etc.) because of practice/game conflicts.And there are times she is unhappy about it, but she loves playing soccer so in the end she's OK with it. If your daughter is really enjoying playing, then she needs to commit to it (especially since practices are only one a week). The fact the team hasn't won a game yet isn't an excuse to skip practices/games.

I know it's tough to make those choices. My daughter also played basketball at her school this past winter. She had an opportunity to go to U.S. Women's soccer game in Frisco back in February, but the game was on the same day as her basketball tournament. She was so mad because she really wanted to go to the game! But she knew she would regret it if she missed her b-ball tournament so she made the hard choice. Her b-ball teammate, who is also a big soccer player/fan, chose to go to the soccer game., which meant she'd be able to play in the first b-ball game but then would have to leave. Only guess what? When the time came, she couldn't leave! She burst into tears, she wanted to stay and play . . . and she did. And their b-ball team won the tournament! Amazing teamwork . . . and that's what you want to instill in your children.

Don't get me wrong . . . there will always be exceptions. Illness, obviously. Or a very significant moment in a family member's life (sibling's h.s. graduation, grandma's 100th b-day, etc.). Or perhaps religious reasons -- a girl used to play on my daughter's soccer team whose family objected to sports on Sundays . . . so she was never at Sunday games. But this was cleared in advance with the coach.

And then of course there's the challenge of managing multiple children's schedules . . . because eventually you'll have a conflict and you and hour husband will have to divide and conquer. I feel really bad that my 5 year old is going to miss her dance recital because my 13 year old is playing in a soccer tournament in San Antonio that weekend. But she is 5, and I know she's not really into dance that much (will be doing gymnastics next year) and she doesn't really seem to care . . . she's much more excited to go to San Antonio!

Anyway, I'm rambling, but I just wanted you to know that we've all been there and had to make the hard choices. Good luck!

I would find out from the coach what the consequences are for missed practices, games, etc, and then would let me child choose whether they were going to go to soccer or to the party.

When I was in high school my softball team was very good, and we were headed to the state tournament, but I had already booked/paid for a pilgrimage to France, Spain and Portugal. I talked to my coach, and he informed me that if I went, I wouldn't start for the rest of the season. The pilgrimage was more important to me than starting, so I made the decision to go on my pilgrimage and lived with the consequences, and 12 years later I am still quite satisfied with my decision.

Your 11 year old should be old enough to make such choices.

I think part of teaching the kids to honor their commitments is skipping out on things like that. My kids don't go to birthday parties for friends during soccer games, practice, etc. However, we have arrived late or left early at parties to get to soccer.

As for family, we plan birthday events around our commitments, but my family is small enough to accommodate.

we put family above sports. having three children it would be hard, i feel for you. but sports won't be there forever. family is family. now if you're talking S. cousins or my cousin's wife's niece, that's different. but for close family, yes i would put them first.

We decided that we made a commitment to the team for that period of time so for regular birthday parties, get togethers we skipped the party. Exceptions of course are always there, ie weddings, great grandmas 80th, once in a lifetime events.

The parents usually have some say as to what evening the team practices. I would tell the coach that you have some conflicts. At this age they are not going to miss much at practice. I would not miss very often of course but if the party is someone especially important then go to the party.

Don't get me wrong, they do learn a lot about the game and managing the ball but they won't miss the playoffs if they miss a practice.