Social Time with Couples

My husband is a home body, so I don't force him to get out and socialize. I do things with my girlfriends and their kids. If I am entertaining at home he is expected to participate. If it is an outing or a weekend away I leave him at home.

We don't really go out of our way to socialize. Parties/birthday's sure, but beyond that? No.

I would HATE to vacation with friends. I want to spend time with my husband! He works like a dog, so when we have a vacation to ourselves I wouldn't want to share it with other people.
Maybe your husband feels like that?
We don't "go out" a lot with other couples. Sometimes we hang out at our house or theirs. It's just easier then traipsing our 3 kids and their 2 kids (or 1) out to a restaurant and expecting all the kids to behave while we adults chat about boring stuff. Much better if we are at home and they can run around and play.
I would MUCH rather go out with a girlfriend and leave the husband home with the kids. I don't get away from them very often so when I do it's great! And I would rather he goes out with HIS friends and I stay home with the kids. It's a lot of work taking them all out!
L.

I understand what you are saying. I would start with planning a date night where you go out with another couple. Do your children's friends have parents who you like? Schedule something with them. I wouldn't jump to going on vacation just yet (although I hear what you are saying). Start with the basic. Have some kids over and invite the parents along for a BBQ. Maybe a pool party when it's warm? I can understand you wanting to feel more connected. Do you get out to do stuff with your girlfriends? It's important for you to connect with others and I'm sure your husband will go along with whatever you plan. I'd start with the basics first =)

I would NEVER vacation with another family, that would make me bonkers - too many cooks. I typically do not enjoy time spent with other couples, they end up fighting we end up annoyed. The women I tend to get along with do not have husbands that he would get along with and the men he does get along with I DO NOT get along with the wives. So, we have seperate friends and have yet to find any couple that we can both get along with and we like it that way. I enjoy having my own life and he does too. We have our time together and when we are out we can enjoy time apart with out dealing with drama.

We tried the joint friends thing before and one of the wives of his best friend of basically forever freaked out on him because he was making conversation with a female. She acted as though he had cheated on me simply for making conversatoin. She jumped on him saying things like "Kristy is my friend and I am going to tell her exactly what you do in bars when she is not around, you can not just go talking to women in bars it is disloyal to your relationship." I honestly am secure in my relationship and care not ... men have bought me drinks and flirted with me right infront of my man & we just laugh about it. Ironically that same female and I had met at another bar a few days prior, she is a linedancing teacher (vs a bar hopper) and she was trying to convince him to dance. She thought if the guys started dancing then the women would stop fighting with them. It really gets bad with those women, that night I "could not seem to find a sitter" even though Grandma was insistant she take our son. So, in short, we keep it simple family time is just us - play time is us together (only) OR us seperate with our friends and I do not see that changing.

While a girlfriend of mine was going through a divorce and I was asking her to be sure this is what she wanted, I asked her what is wrong. She said her husband was grouchy and boring and never wanted to do anything. I told her he works and is tired after working 10 hour shifts and probably needs down time on his days off. She said, "I just think he could be a little more fun like your husband, he looks like fun."

This made me giggle. I asked what made her think my husband was fun and she said he just looks that way. I had to break it to her, my husband works extremely long hours, he is tired, that makes him grouchy, and he really doesn't like going to the holiday parties each year. We go to the holiday party with his employer, my mother's for holiday dinners, which is no party just dinner and lounging and then find family things on Sunday. Otherwise he comes home, eats and goes to bed. She still divorced him, but she read a little more into the motorcycle and tattoos. I guess she did see that side of him when she photographed my daughters first birthday.

In fact if we have company over for dinner, he will sit on the couch with all his remotes and watch concerts with them, whether they like the music or not. We laugh at him and tell him all the time, not everyone is a music buff.

So no, it is too hard to find a family or couple who enjoys everything we do. Once in a while we will get together and go out for dinner, but not often.

I am single but one of my criteria in seriously dating (and moving forward) is that the potential partner is social. I need the interaction with others.

We also don't have family but fortunately my husband and I are both pretty social. We've done long weekends and a week long trip with two other families and it works out great. Just lucky. The guys were his friends before we all got married but I really like the wives and talk to them more now than he talks to the husbands. I am the big planner though. It's rare he plans family get togethers. And the week long trip was to a resort so no issues about cooking etc. we also are fine if one family wants to do something different. Does your husband have any friends himself? Friends from before he got married? They'd be e best place to start bc then he really likes them. Is it really a chore once he's with the friends you invite? Sometimes my husband grumbles bc it seems like we like the wives of families we meet through the kids more than the husbands. But after a glass of wine or two, everyone usually has some laughs. Can you make it easy on him in terms of doing all the prep and clean up work? If he just doesn't want to though, I guess it's a matter of compromise... And I would go out with the wives if you can. I don't bc I work ft and feel guilty but every once in a while do and it's fun and good bonding time. We also do throw parties btw and it was my husband who insisted on that at first. Insisting you throw a party once in awhile is fair to your husband. Ie: once or twice a year.

I am the more "home body" one in our family. Husband is the one who comes home and says "I invited so-and-so to come over for dinner on Saturday."

But it isn't frequent. Maybe once a month, or he suggests going OUT (he'll come home and say "I talked to so-and-so about getting together for dinner on ___"). We don't do but VERY few "parties". Maybe summer time cookouts, but those are mostly family, or those we FEEL like are practically family.

I don't do things with girlfriends. Not my thing. We occasionally have dinner with other families, and we did go away last summer with one family. This summer we are taking my parents --mostly because the other family only has a 5 year old, and we will have a baby, a 3 and a 5. I don't' want our schedule to hold them back. I also want to take my parents away as a big "thank you" for all the babysitting they do.

I enjoy being social with other families, but not super often. Entertaining is a lot of work, so we do 1 big party a year and invite everyone we know, and then we have a couple over here and there throughout the year, depending on my energy level. My hubby loves to cook, so he doesn't mind when I make dinner plans with other couples, but yes, I arrange our social calendar.

We get together with couple friends from church. Luckily, our church has a lot going on for couples and families.

As for vacations...I'm only willing to do local, in-state vacations with others. Last Summer, we went on an awesome canoe trip with extended family...and next Summer we'll probably take my BFF, her hubby and kiddoes. Camping and being on the river is kind of one of those things you can do with friends AND family. So you just have to figure out what you like to do...

I enjoy getting together with other couples more than my husband does, though now that he has made a pretty good group of buddies on the golf course he is more inclined for us to get together with them and their wives. We even took our first ever couples only (no kids) trip with them to Montana a few months ago. It was three nights, not too long and it was REALLY fun!
I will say, however, that traveling with other families is very tricky. We have done it a few times, many years ago, and both trips were kind of a disaster (parenting differences, kids squabbling, husbands and wives arguing behind closed doors--but we could all hear it--awkward!) But it really depends on the group and the dynamics. My BIL's family vacations with friends all the time and they have a blast. Everyone gets along well, their kids all have similar temperaments so it works.
I would suggest doing a short, weekend trip before a full on vacation, and see how it goes. Something like camping or boating or skiing would be fun.

I love socializing with the girls and he used to have his friends over while I cooked/cleaned and made the stay enjoyable. We only stopped when we had problems so the thing is, do what you do but don't go out with other couples without him. Girls night out, yes. You and other people out, perhaps not. When we camp with friends it really is far and few between so once in a while, plan it with friends but don't overwhelm him if he's not into it. I don't see why, once in a blue moon he shouldn't do it just to please you and make you happy but find something he might enjoy as well.

I am the social one of the two. My husband would rather stay home. For years, we would just enjoy our own company and I would go out with girlfriends from time to time. But lately he has found a couple guys that he has a lot in common with and doesn't mind hanging out with those couples. In some of the other places we have lived, he never really had much in common with the husbands of my friends.

Don't force the issue with him if he doesn't have a lot in common with the other guy(s). That would be really uncomfortable, I would think. How would that benefit you?

Going on vacation with another couple would really be awkward if you are not really good friends with them. I would only go on vacation with a couple that I have hung out with a lot beforehand. You really want to know what their likes and dislikes are in food, entertainment, schedules, drinking habits, etc. or your vacation could be no fun.

If you like parties, then join a bunko group or other group where a bunch of ladies get together. I really enjoy my bunko group and don't feel like it would be any better if the husbands were there. I don't see the point of the husbands being there if they don't want to be.

Just decide what it is that you need and what your husband needs. How can you best take care of both of your needs? It's good to know what he really likes to do and why, as well as what he wouldn't mind doing and how often.

We have vacationed with friends and will do it again. Probably this summer.
We get separate condos and the rules are no O. has to do what they don't want to, it's EVERYONEs vacation, we don't need to all be together 24-7, each family needs family vacation time, etc.

Just because they're friends doesn't make them potential vacation friends.

We all genuinely like each other as people.
My husband wouldn't "plan" anything, but he's usually up for these friends.
Aim for moderation.
Oh and there's plenty if times we plan just mom and boys activities!