Sleep Problems in 2 Yr Old

Updated on November 17, 2011
K.D. asks from Bremen, ME
4 answers

I apologize in advance for yet ANOTHER sleep question, I know it's been asked before but I'm too tired to go through other people's questions, I just need some new ideas! :)
My youngest daughter is 2. She's never been a great sleeper and it just isn't getting better. She shares a room with her sister (who luckily sleeps like a rock) and sleeps in a big-girl bed. She wakes up at least once a night and usually 3-4 times a night. When she wakes up she wants to come sleep in my bed. We put her in the big girl bed in part so that I could join her there if I had to, rather than bringing her to our room. Generally I do that, which means that half the time I fall asleep in there and wake up cold and uncomfortable 45 minutes later and go back to my room. (another wake up during the night). When she wakes up around 4am though, I usually bring her into my room because I get up at 5am and if I'm in her room when the alarm goes up I usually end up waking both her and her sister up, but if she's in my bed she will usually continue sleeping until at least 5:30 and I can get a shower. There's nothing really sensible about this, but when you make decisions at 3am, they aren't really sensible.

A few last details: I work full time as a high school teacher so I really need my sleep. My husband - who is fantastic about all other things - is pretty useless at night. IF he wakes up, he generally just ignores her and if he goes to her she usually freaks out unless he also lays down with her. If we let her cry it out she will continue screaming for an hour or more - which eventually wakes up her sister and definitely doesn't improve the amount of sleep I get. And the weirdest detail: She uses my hair like a security blanket to fall back asleep (she still is pretty much bald) rubbing it between her fingers and pulling on it. I hate it, she loves it. Unfortunately, it works brilliantly for getting her to fall asleep - until I pull it out of her hands. We've tried long-haired dolls and she doesn't like them.

Any ideas?? How can I coach her to sleep all the way through the night?

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S.K.

answers from Dallas on

I just had to answer at least to say that my son (age 3) does that same thing with hair! I never heard of another kid doing this before! He started it with one of those taggies blankets when he was a baby. Then my in-laws found this random garfield stuffed animal in their house somewhere that happened to have whiskers and he transitioned to using that. After a year or more the whiskers were actually wearing off and I wasn't sure what I was going to do. Then when he became a big brother we gave him a baby boy of his own (which he promptly named "Isabella" go figure) and now he uses this doll's hair to sooth himself to sleep! He also kind of hums to himself as he does it. He really depends on this, if he doesn't have something to do this with he has a really hard time sleeping! So I wonder if you should try again to find something that she can use instead of your hair. That could potentially solve the whole problem seems to me based on how my son is. Good luck! You need some sleep mamma!

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S.M.

answers from Chicago on

Oh K., I am so sorry and I was SO there with my middle son (now 9). It is amazing when the alarm goes off and you feel like all you did was wander around your house all night! We finally had a bed in his room and a little toddler inflatable bed in our room, by my side of the bed. We explained to him that if he couldn't sleep he could come in and lay down on his "other bed" but he didn't need to wake us up. That helped! If it doesn't, don't be too hard on yourself, she won't still be doing this at age 9, trust me, and by then you might actually find yourself sometimes wishing she would so you could have some extra cuddle time with her!
I hope things get better soon, sleep is so important!

By the way..I love all the stuff from One Step Ahead, and have shopped there for years, we are totally addicted to that place and we got our toddler inflatable bed product from them I believe..
http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId...

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H.W.

answers from Lewiston on

Your night sounds extremely unpredictable and I think your daughter can sense that. Falling asleep with her but then leaving is hard to predict and causes her to not sleep very soundly. She's probably unsure of whether you'll be there with her when she wakes up. I'd drop the entire falling asleep with her thing- she'll never learn to fall asleep on her own if you are always there. Kids need to learn that- they don't come by it on their own. It might take a few nights of bad sleep but it will be worth it. My daughter did the same thing for a long time, but she was always so anxious and would frequently wake and want me there. I think you're going to have to explain that you'll sing her a song, or something like that, but then leave. She'll definitely need a replacement "lovey" for your hair, like a special blanket or animal. You have to be consistent, though. It won't work if sometimes you stay till she falls asleep but sometimes don't want to. It's got to be all or nothing.

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V.G.

answers from Houston on

Aww. It's been a while for me... but I feel for you. She needs structure, I think. A good routine: dinner, bath, story, bed. You get the idea. She will learn what to expect. Am a working mom, two of my own and another who joined the family later. She is tactile, which means she loves the sense of touch. Try getting her to into a routine and she can touch your hair while you read a story and maybe rub her back softly to soothe her. I used to use a quiet, shhhhhhhh when disengaging from back rub/tickle and or hair. Sit with her for a bit when you disengage and try a soothing sound (or music, maybe?) that will help her be able to soothe herself if she wakes during the night. They really need routine and structure, imho. Big hugs and good luck to you!

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