Sleep Issues - Saint Augustine,FL

Wow, you sound like it is really bad over there. I thought of an idea. It is possible that she wont go to bed because she doesnt want to miss anything. Try to get her up in the morning super early. Then take all snacks out of sight after 6pm, not just for her but for the whole family, and then, the whole family gets NO TV after 9pm... rather they can all read a book and drift off to sleep. If everyone was going to bed... not seperate bedtimes, she may take the news better. It might also help to have DADDY do her bed time. Mommy is a much softer person, who cant take the tough love of the super nanny technique. The daughter knows you love her and will keep up her tantrums because they work on you. If Daddy jumped in there for a few weeks and gave that girl no options... and the whole family went to bed at 9pm, you may all see the light.

I find the best way to deal with my strong willed child was telling him I'm going to bed. This is after the bedtime stories, drink of water, promise of one last show...I shut off the lights, keep the house dim and went to bed. I left the tv on Nick at Nite so it wasn't anything inappropriate but he wasn't really interested in the show and he could choose to sleep on the floor or couch with blankets and pillows but I gave up. I know I'll get critized but I don't really care. Often children are looking for a fight and I just took it away therefore forcing a different reaction from him. The house is baby proofed and the doors are locked and the alarm is on. Don't put on a tv show they like or they will stay awake. This didn't last too long. I found the bedtime fight was more about attention so that's what I took away. It worked. He would come in my room and cry or misbehave and I would tell him over and over it's lights out and time for bed. The sun is sleeping. Good night. Stop participating in the epic tantrum she's sucking you into. She's in control. Go to bed and shut the lights and staying up will be FAR less appealing. And as for tantrums, I have a head banging child so I understand. Take away a favorite toy. We call that time out for the teddy bear, game, etc. The best part of the tantrum is they wear themselves out. Once he was over worked where he can't calm himself down, I would try and pick him up and hold him to help him calm down if we would allow it. If not, I let him cry it out. Sleep isn't too far off after that. I've never had a tantrum last for 2 hours if you stop feeding it. Everyone is different but this definitely worked for our family. I think it was the biggest problem when he was going through the 2's.

I know this is extremely late, but reading this was like watching my daughter....I remember one time she was so mad that her whole body was red, she was shaking and crying....it was totally terrible. I had no idea what to do...finally one day, i just grabbed her, and sat down and sang, or talked...anything to distract her tantrum....after a couple of times, she started calming down when i would sit and hold her. I can say she will be 5 in June and it has been a good while since she had one of "those" fits....I also prayed a lot for wisdom : )

You may want to read The No Cry Sleep Solution. This book has lots of suggestions for various ages. TV, you are right, is not helping her sleep. It's too stimulating. Have you tried during the day explaining to her why she needs sleep? I explain to my daughter it helps her to be healthy and strong and not to get sick. I explain that growing children go to sleep earlier than grown-ups because they need more sleep. I tell her sleep is when you grow and your body heals itself. Here are some other things that help. Lower all lights in the home to a soothing level at least an hour or two before bed time. At that time, turn off music and TV except something soothing like lullabys or classical music. It helps to establish a bedtime routine and follow it. Our includes a small bedtime snack like toast or nuts and raisins or crackers. Then we put on PJs and brush teeth. Then we comb hair while Papa reads to her. Then we climb in bed and I read to her. then we turn the lights off and I tell her a story, then we sing 3 short songs, then we be quiet. Then she falls asleep. I have also learned that chocolate after dinner is a bad idea.
Some other things that may help with tantrums include dietary changes. No foods with dyes. Limit her intake of white flour, refined sugar, preservatives. Some kids have sensitivities to these things and they cause behavioral issues.

How long have you been doing the super nanny technique? If it's longer than a few weeks and it's still not working, I would suggest you try something different. Or, just to see what happens, try something different. Rock or lay with her until she falls asleep. Rub her back or sing lullabies to her until she's almost asleep. See if there is a difference. It should not take 2 hours to get your daughter to sleep so if there is something else you can do, I think you should do it! Remember that children are small for such a short period of time so it may take time for you to find out what works...but if it takes less than 2 hours, why not?

Good luck!

Take her for an evaluation for Sensory Processing Disorder. A child that cannot self regulate and melts down at every little thing has issues. Parents need to be very firm and make rules. If she cries and screams, so be it. Check with your dr but 1mg of Melatonin 15 mins before bedtime works like a charm and it is a natural antioxidant of the body and some children don't make enough of it. I know lots of toddlers on it so check it out.

Warm bath with lavender soap, a gentle massage, dimmed lights, warm milk, reading to her.
When my grandaughter fought not to fall asleep, we would make up a story about a dog or a cat named...(she'd name him). It could be black, brown, spotted...or blue. We would each take turns making up the next couple of sentences. Serious, silly, doesn't matter. Before long, there would be no story coming from her...aahhh.
Oh! And that husband of yours could be helping too.

I've gone through and still going through the same issues with my 4 year old. What works for me is that I have him on a routine 7:30 bathtime, read a book by 8pm, say a prayer, and bed no later than 8:30pm. He starts screaming his head off right after the prayer, but I turn on the night light, tell him I love him and leave the room. He exhausts himself until he falls asleep. Hopefully this helps. It is difficult to see them so upset, but you don't want to allow them to manipulate the routine. I definetly don't recommend the t.v. at night.

Try some herbal tea with chammomile for soothing and calming and anise is very good too if you mix 1/4 teaspoon along, see if she will like to drink it. some herbal tea bags comes with lavendar and chammomile. it has no caffine in it.
I really wish you good luck with this, it is draining I know how this is for you. It will only get better be positive.

Oh wow, what a strain on you. This means less sleep for you too.
Behavior usually means lack of something in the diet- and honestly it is getting more difficult to have a good diet because of agri-business taking all the nutrients out to increase shelf life.
So this means really really being pro active-
My favorite place is WestonPrice.Com- a brilliant guy de=bunking myths about food-a week of this kind of eating and she'll - shall I say it? sleep like a baby.
It will be worth the effort, we have found that to be true.
best, k

This technique does take a tremendous amount of patience and can take time to work... but it does! I have gone through it with all 4 of my kids. Honestly though, by one to two weeks it had worked. And my children were all younger then your daughter. I think the reason it isn't working for you is because you sometimes cave and let her watch tv or you try to comfort her. This is giving in to the bad behavior. Don't do it! Just lay her down and walk away. If you truly stuck to it and never caved, I think it would work. Yes, it is awful to put up with what she is doing. But each little concession you make, is confirmation to her that her bad behavior is working. Even little things like talking to her instead of just laying her down, gives her attention. Kids know how to manipulate, especially once they are toddlers. The best thing you can do for her is stick to the plan. You both will be better off once she starts sleeping. And a good night's sleep makes a big difference in a child's attitude the rest of the time. And like someone else suggested, you might try starting a routine like reading just before bed as well. It gives her some one on one attention before the rest of the routine starts. Also, make sure that you are really waiting long enough each time before going in. With some of mine, they just needed a few extra minutes before they gave up and went to sleep.

First, let your pediatrician know about her behavior. I agree with the poster who said to have her checked out for a sensory disorder. If she has one, you can learn how to work with her on it and both you and she will be MUCH happier for it!

As for diet, I would not start putting her on special diets unless you are working closely with her pediatrician on it. You can go overboard and deprive her of important nutrients she needs. Sugar, obviously, can be cut out as much as possible, but anything else, consult the pediatrician.

Consistancy is definitely the key. If you decide to take a certain path to change her behavior, you need to stick to it. DO NOT CHANGE YOUR ROUTINE TO TRY TO APPEASE HER TANTRUM. TV is NOT the answer! Bathtime, reading together and bed. Be calm and firm and do not give in. When you put her back to bed, just put her down and walk out. If there is not a medical issue at play, then it is attention seeking, and if you give it to her, she will keep up the antics.

Good luck. I definitely feel for you!

K.

Hi B.,

Have you considered taking her to some kind of therapy? This doesn't sound like normal behavior to me. How is she during the day? I have two nieces who are strong willed, but they aren't that bad.

I would talk to your pediatrician and get some advice from her/him. Perhaps something else is going on with her that you don't know about. Maybe there's a physical or mental issue that needs to be looked into. Don't mean to scare you, but it just doesn't sound like normal behavior for any child. I know some of my friends have changed their child's diet because of a sensitivity to gluten, sugar, etc. and it seemed to make a difference in their behavior.

I wish you the best of luck.

Reading this brings me back to the days when it was very difficult for me to get my 3 year old to bed. He took a bottle until he was 2 1/2 and would rock with me and drink his bottle. When he was done with his bottle I would lay him in his bed and he would usually go right to sleep. Well...that all changed when we finally got rid of his bottle...We started letting him watch a T.V. show at night to try to get him to fall asleep. Only problem is then he would want to watch another video and when we told him no all heck would break loose. I knew something had to change so we got rid of T.V watching after about 5:00 pm and I started reading to him at night. For the first month or so I would read 3 stories and if he was not asleep I would lay with him until he was. The following month I would still read him his 3 stories but I would leave his room after they were done and he would come out of his room occasionally but I would just put him back in his bed. He's now 4 and I've been reading to him ever night for almost a year. We're down to reading one book a night. Some nights he'll stay in his bed and go right to sleep and some nights he'll come out of his room a few times but as soon as we see that he's gotten out we take him right back to his room. Does your daughter still take naps? What time do you start putting her to bed. My son stopped taking naps because if he took a nap during the day he would not go to bed. I also started putting him to bed earlier so we wouldn't have a chance to get a second wind and fight going to sleep. We lay down to read about 7:15 or 7:30. Hope this helps! It's not fun having children who don't want to go to bed!

Sensory processing issues could be the culprit. So check with your doc about that. If not that, then I would START with moving bedtime EARLIER. Sounds like she is way overtired and fighting to self-stimulate.

Does she nap during the day and have a solid routine where she knows what to expect each day? Bedtime should have a consistent routine also (no letting her watch some TV to fall asleep to tonight but not tomorrow; or up till 9:00 tonight but 7:00 tomorrow, an extra snack one night but not the next, etc). Decide the rules and follow them. You can even tell her that you can't do" ___ because the rule is we do ___ and then ___".

Also, remember that if you are stressed and moody at bedtime she will be too. Kids feed off of our energy... so try to mentally calm yourself and be relaxed and happy before you start dealing with bedtime. Easier said than done, I know. I used to feel my neck tense and my breathing change when the dreaded "bedtime ritual" rolled around some nights. I was just worn out and exhausted from dealing with everything all day. But if you get caught up in that, they will too.
Consistency, earlier, rules, and relax.