My Five Year Old Will Not Go to Be on Time and Its Hell in the Morning

I have three boys ages 6, 2, and 7 mths. My six year old is difficult in the mornings. What I have started doing is moving his bed time up 30 minutes everytime he is difficult in the mornings. When he goes a week without having a.m. problems, I move his bed back down to its orginial time. This has been working so far. I hope it helps.

Philena

I would also like to know if anyone has any suggestions regarding this. I have a 4 year old son that also has this same problem.

I agree about the routine - don't be surprised if you have to set up an hour of routine between bathing, getting jammies on, reading time, prayers & goodnight. We found that it helped to tell our son that we couldn't stay in the bedroom because just after bedtime was "mommy & daddy time" and we'd turn on a boring taped adult TV show that we'd sit and watch while unwinding. The show can be interrupted for his real needs but is not interesting or stimulating to him.

Also make sure that you set the bedtime early enough that she's getting enough sleep before she has to get up. It's surprising how much sleep they really need and a late bedtime will lead to a cranky child all day who will not nap and is hard to put to bed.

Rebecca
I had the same problem with my daughter. My boys were not so bad. I would put her to bed about 30 min. earlier b/c I knew what was coming. I kept telling myself this to shall pass. Anyway, I pick 30 min. episodes of a movie that she really liked, such as spongebob and veggietales. I would tell her that she could watch it b4 bed only if she would be a big girl and go to sleep right after. If she did not go to sleep like she said she would then she could watch the show the next night. I also used a chart system keeping records of when she went to bed like she was surpose to and so forth. Therefore at the end of the week I would do something special for her like take her for ice cream or a snow ball, you get the point. After about 2 to 3 months of hard work from the both of us she just stopped. I would tell her You are not going to get your way and your not winning this battle. You can make it easy on yourself or hard it is your choice but either way you are going to bed. Once she seen I ment what I said she stopped. My daughter would even have crying dramatic fits. It was horrible!!! Maybe this will help. God Bless, A.

We have the same problem...! I start at 8pm. with it's bedtime..the oldest one (13) usually goes to bed about 8:30 but not the 6 yr. old ...the only way I have found she will go to sleep is if I rock her & she's out in about five min. at most..! She says it's just that little bit of "cuddling" that makes her sleepy....!

Again, Supernanny has dealt with this a lot. Her technique: Observe a nice, relaxing bedtime routine. Then tell the child it's time to go to sleep, tuck her in, and say goodnight. The first time she gets up, take her back to bed, say "goodnight, darling" and then leave. After that, take her back to bed, SAY NOTHING. Do this as many times as necessary. You will win. She will finally stay in bed and go to sleep. Don't give up. It might take three hours the first time. But then, your daughter will believe you, and she will go to bed nicely from then on. Let us know how it works!

try to cut out juices and sweets after 5 or 6 pm.try to act like you are going to sleep at the same time then get up after she falls asleep(that worked for me for awhile until my son got over it)try a nightlight and soft classical music and dont give her extra attention when she wont go to sleep like she is suppossed to.

sit in the floor when it is bed time and ignore her she will see you but you will not talk to her.. the first time it may take a min but you will have it down to a fine art with in a week.... no books in bed or toys also make sure you are putting her into bed early enough to get the right amount of sleep according to her age.. if she screams invest in earplugs while you are sitting in her door way not by the bed..
GOOD LUCK

It may take a few days, but it is worth a shot. I would start a routine...for instance, bath and brush teeth at 8:00, story time at 8:30, say prayers together, then lights out at 9:00. She might not go right to sleep at first, but she will be laying down and resting. Patience and consistency are the key. When my son was that age, I would lay next to him for twenty or so minutes, then over a week, I gradually lessened the time until I wasn't doing it at all anymore.
Also, my son loved having lotion rubbed on him after his bath, and you might try that. Johnson & Johnson now makes a lotion that is scented to help kids relax and sleep better at night (which they didn't have when he was a baby-poor me...) If I ever forgot to massage him with lotion after his bath, he would bring me the bottle! :)
Good luck!!! I hope one or both of these ideas help!

I had a similiar experience with my daughter. Together, she and I made a 'Good Morning' and a 'Good Night' chart with the days of the week at the top. I purchased some gold stars, stickers, multi-colored pencils; just little things she was interested in. I used these as rewards for no fussing when time for bed. I would also put a gold star or sticker on the corresponding day of the week that she went to bed without fussing and/or getting up without fussing. However, if she did fuss or throw a fit (and all of us with daughters know what drama queens they can be at times)I would cut off 5 minutes of her favorite show, favorite activity, etc. It took a couple of weeks for her to grasp the concept of rewards versus consequences but things are much better now at our house at bedtime and in the morning! Hope this helps!

Rebecca, my son is the EXACT way!! He as always been this way tho. I have made more of a strict routine when it comes to bed and I have started the process earlier in the evening. I did the whole calming bath every night before bed and that worked for a while. We read every night before he goes to sleep. It can be rough at times, I know! just hang in there and check into bedtime routine books for kids her age. I am sure they are out there. Hope all gets better. Thanks Jenn

Rebecca,

Your daughter might be ADD. I am ADD and most of the people that I know with ADD are night owls and like to sleep in in the morning. When I take my concerta, then it is easier for me to go to bed earlier in the evening, but I still prefer staying up late.

I hope this helps.

I feel for you, we finally just resolved this issue with our sons who are 4 & 6. Thier bedtime used to be at 8:30, they had a t.v. in their room & the toy room is next to thier room while our room is on the other side of the house. The lack of sleep was causing them to have attitudes at school. First we changed their bedtime to 7:30, this didn't work because they would just stay up watching cartoons in their room, than we took out the t.v. in their room, that just caused them to go in their toy room and watch t.v., so than we started locking the toy room door at night, After these measures they started to close their bedroom door and turn on the light to play, so now whe take out the lightbulbs at night and just plug in their bedroom night light & the bathroom nightlight. So for us it wasn't just changing one thing it was changing many things. We have only been doing this for a week but already they have adjusted, they are actually sleeping by eight! No more complaints from the teachers about bad attitudes. Hope this helps or at least points you in the right direction.

My boys can be real stinkers at bedtime. We have started getting them ready an hour before we want them to go to bed. We do the shower or bath with dim lights on. Brush teeth, read stories and they get a little time to "talk" about their day while laying down. Some nights are still harder than others but it seems to work to keep things very low key. No tickle fights before bed.

My five year old is the same way. She still has to go to bed at her set bed time. She has a clock by her bed and after prayers and tucking in...etc. I tell her she can read or look at a book for 15 minutes and then lights out. I also let her listen to music which seems to help. James Taylor is her favorite right now, but she's been through different cd's. Good luck.

Even after 11 years of working in child care I too have a child that likes to stay up late. The more consistent with schedule the more it helps.
Also, bathtime should never be more then 30 minutes. More then 30 minutes causes them to lose that relaxed, sleepyness a bath causes.
And playing outside in the sunlight of an evening. Sunlight and getting enough of it does have a profound affect on people in general.
Those are things I've read in magazines or online news articles.
Once baths start all tv's and the computer go off and stay off until kiddos are completely asleep. (hubby hates this)
After bath we let them have an easy, quick bedtime snack while we read 3 books. Its like the Thanksgiving dinner theory of food puts us to sleep.
Like some say, keep it low key once it gets close to bath time. It helps "set the mood".
We still have our days too that we get off schedule for various reasons but for the most part being consistent has helped.

I'm actually responding to the more general feeling you conveyed in your "A little about me" section, where you wrote, "I love being a mom but I do get upset and feel hopeless, my daughter is very strong willed!!!"

I've been doing some research into positive discipline, and Becky Bailey's book, Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline made a lot of sense to me. I checked it out from the library and I see children, discipline, and conflict in general in a whole new light! I have practiced some of her principals on my interactions with my husband (like starting off thinking about where he's coming from, and using her tools for figuring out where he's coming from, and communicating what I want), and they have made our relationship a lot more harmonious. And all it took was just a little bit of the right knowledge!

Bailey talks about common discipline issues like going to bed, picking up after oneself, tantrums, hitting other kids, etc.

Really. Save yourself a lot of head- and heartache. Check it out!

L.