Single Parenting Advice for Teenager and Dating

Well I personally wasn't a teen parent i was 23 when my son was born but i had friends who were teen parents, it is a very hard thing to deal with. Something you have to understand is that if teens want to have sex they WILL find a way to do it so if you tell him he can't see her he will anyway and it will only push him away, all i can say is my parents were very open with me about sex and the concequences that could follow sex and always had an open door policy with me. Luckily i was smart enough to use protection when my husband and i (at the age of 17) had sex, all you can do is make sure that know matter what he is prepared in the event that it could happen. And also i would go to any of the local Planned Parenthoods or even on line and get all the info about STD's because that may help to scare him into waiting, or even find a co worked or friend with a small child and let him so how hard it really is to be a parent. I hope that he is smart and waits until he is ready. There are to many teens that take sex for granite and end up having babies or getting STD's, some that never go away. Another thing you can use as kind of a scare tactic is explain to him that if he does become a father at an early age it means no time for friends, going to college is hard, and no time to just be a kid, all of friends who were teen parents ended up not with their childs other parent and struggling. Good luck and let me know what happens.

Give him a big pack of condoms, and tell him how to use them, rather safe than sorry. And, tell him about your experience I think...How tough it is to become a parent at an early age etc.

Hi L.,
Well, being a mother of a 16 year old daughter, I can relate. I am fortunate that her father and I live in the same town, but it will not stop them if they want to do something.
I have always taught my daughter to pratice safe sex. Abstanence before marriage is the best practice. I have always been open and candid. I too was not the best example but I have explained to her that my choices in life made for a difficult journey. All we can do as parents is teach them the best practices and to teach them if they decide to move forward to practice safe sex to prevent deadly diseases such as HIV and Aids.

Maybe talking with his father over your concerns may help, depending on if you are on speaking terms. Otherwise, talking with your son is the best thing you can do. Keeping the lines of communication open without judgement is best.

Remember that we are here to guide them, ultimately, if they are going to choose to move in a direction we may not approve of it, but to guide them to be responsible.

Good luck.

L. P Your story sounds like mine. Everything going great but my girl was looking for love and very young. Our Spiritual life was just going to church. Have him surrounded with people of faith. You may have to chose; Material things or spending time with your son. What is important for him and you as a family.

Best thing you can do is remind him to be careful and use condoms. Also bring up the fact than condoms are not 100% and there may be a chance that pregnancy can occur. It is just going to really take a heart to heart and you may really want to involve his dad in this conversation because having a baby at a young age is going cost him a lot of his time, and energy. Just remind him of all of the things that will have to take a backseat a baby. Being honest and open with him is what I think is best.

Hi L.,
I work with adolescents and this is a very hard topic to grasp. I would not look down or feel bad about what you did in the past, b.c obviously you have been doing what is right by raising your son and trying to make a better life for him. What I have found is helpful, is to get your teenager interested in activities. Sports, music or other extracurricular activities can occupy his time and keep his focus off of girls. I have also found that it does work to get to know the girlfriend/boyfriend. This helps, b/c you get to see what type of influence the person is on your child. This can also deepen your relationship with your son when he sees that you are more accepting of him wanting to have a girlfriend, which is totally normal at his age. I have found that creating an ally with the partner often helps me get through to the teen that I am working with. Once you have developed a relationship with the partner you can let them both know how you feel about premarital sex and children at a young age etc, and let them know the expectations that you have for their relationship (no sex b4 marriage, not being alone in his dad’s house, etc). I hope this helps. Let us know what happens.
I.