Single Mom Needs Help with Disciplining 2 Toddlers

Hey J., it looks like you got some good advice from everyone and all i have to say it, no matter what you do, stick with it! It may take some time but you cant give up on it.

I feel for you I realy do. I'm not a single mom but here's my suggestion. If you don't have a lock on their bedroom door install one. I have a 3 year old boy, that was kicking and hitting us and yelling at us. When he would do it I would pick him right up and run him up the stairs and shut him in the room and lock it. I would say from the other side of the door, "kicking is wrong so you think about what you did" and he would scream and after 5 minutes after he calms down I would yell in there "are you sorry, if you're sorry tell me you are" and he would say sorry. seriously 1 week of locking him in there took care of the problem. i really hope this helps.

Hi J.. First of all, it sounds like your girls love you very much and you are doing the best you can to be the Mom you want to be. So GOOD JOB. It is not easy.
You have identified your issues you want to work on and thats an important step. It is not to late to change things.
We found luck with the book 123 Magic. for behavior.
At night I would give my girls 2 "tickets" (paper is fine) After bedtime routine (bathroom, face, hands, teeth, sip of water, book, lights out.)I would give the tickets. If they came out I took 1 away, if I had to go in I took 1 away.
Tickets could be used for 1/2 hour TV or computer time the next day. I would chart the tickets in a sticker book, or for a special event like a trip to the movies. If you want a Friday night out draw a movie ticket, popcorn and drink. Let them color it as they earn tickets. Say 2 tix for each. If they only earn 2 tix that week, only go to the movies- no popcorn or special drink (just water.)
It may feel mean or hard but after a week or two they will realize (especially if 1 gets more than the other.) It is worth the work. Hope this or whatever you try helps! You Can Do IT!! You're not alone. We've been there. Good Luck.

Hi J.! Wow you have your hands full, I agree with the comment down below, You need time for YOU!! Have you ever been on a plane before? Well when they are instructing poeple on what to do in case of an emergency they tell mothers to pull down the oxygen mask and apply to yourself FIRST! They say this b/c if you do not take care of yourself first then you are no use to your child. I personally think you are doing the best you can, and you should be proud of yourself for working going to school ect... I am a stay at home mom and still have time to complain to my husband!! Look J., You have dealt with a lot, and you need to cut yourself some slack. You need some help from someone like a relative or something. You must be soo tired after your day and lets face it, it is a lot easier to give in than to fight. J. hopefully you will get some down time, and once you get yourself back on track with the girls it will work out. Just love them.

Hi J., 1st of all, it sounds like you may have more going on than just your kids. Have you treated yourself yet? What I mean is, have you gotten counseling for yourself? You may benefit from this. 2nd, you have a lot on your plate, are you getting any help with the kids? Do they spend time with your ex.? How much quality time are you spending with the kids and by yourself? All of these things are very important especially for a simgle Mom. Could you by any chance postpone school for a bit so you can spend more time at home with your children? It might help with their behavior believe it or not. Sorry about all of the questions. Good luck with everything. Don't forget to take care of YOU, if You're happy, this kids are happy. : )

I tried the timout chair as well and also found i was constantly there trying to get them to sit. this of course defeats the whole purpose of time out and the kids were still getting attention from me. i started taking a mommy timeout instead. if the kids did something i didn't like i would tell them i was taking a mommy timeout and would leave the room and go do something else (dishes, laundry, read a book, anything other than give them attention). the kids soon learned that they would get no attention from me til the timmer went off and my mommy time out was over. this has worked very well for me and my two boys. good luck!

I also had good luck with the 123 Magic book for behavior. I use it with my 2.5 year old and it works like a charm! Taking care of yourself is great advice from the other moms also....if your girls see you as happy, in control, and able to keep cool, their behavior will probably reflect that. The angrier I get with my daughter, the angrier she gets... its a snowball effect! Good luck!

I hear you! I just went through something similar with my 5yr old son. I wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I am also a single mother and have been since he was first born. When my son started acting out I had a behavioral specialist come to my house, he saw a "friend" (psycologist), and I tried everything that you see on those super nanny shows. Easier said then done! My son was a biter for no reason even if he was hugging you he would bite so hard he would draw blood, it was terrible! On top of that he was king of the house. It was my fault because I let him be. As he is now in daycare/ kindergarten, I think I have found such wonderful schools that he has changed so much! I just also had to let him no that my no meant no. He needed to take me seriously. He is so polite and well behaved sometimes I wonder if he is the same little boy. (But then we'll have an episode!) So you need to hang in there and make sure they know you're the boss! You're definitely not a bad mother. By the way the part I need to work on as well, my son still sleeps with me and I agree it needs to stop. I feel so much safer because it's just us that he be in the same room as me at night. Let me know how you make out!