My 4 year old son likes to be silly all the time. It is often hard to have a conversation with him without him not being silly. He thinks that doing the opposite of what he is asked to do is fun. It is also his way to avoid doing things. I know kids this age love silly things and being silly, but he does this way too often and it is affecting his learning and behaving.
His day care teacher is very nice and patient with him. He does listen to her after being redirected. However, he needs lot of redirect during the day. He is doing the same thing at home. The differences are whenever I try to stop him from being silly, he becomes even more silly. It often end up with yelling which I don't like either. I sometime ignore him to not give him the attention he is looking for, but it does not help either.
Is this due to immaturity or personality? Will he grow out of it? What can I do now?
His birthday is June. I plan to hold him back for a year. But will this help?
Do you have similar child that grow out of it? What did you do? I need help and hope too.
Thank you so much for sharing your ideas and experiences. They are very helpful.
We will definitely hold him back for a year. He needs the extra time to mature. He is the only child, I guess that is also part of the reason.
I guess I am not consistent and serious enough to stop his silliness. I tried time outs over the past couple of days, he seems getting the message that he needs to listen and follow when it is time to. He still tries to test the limits often. I needs to be firm on the rules. I am getting the support from his dad too.
It is not that I don't like him being silly at all. I do enjoy it when he is being very excited and funny. It really gets me concerned when it is time for him to follow directions or respect others.
I also like the suggestion to play silly with him for some time every day. He loves it. He seems calmer and cooperates better after that.
I appreciate your time and efforts on responding my question.
A silly 4 yo? Is there any other kind of 4 yo? I love my silly 4 yo boy and wouldn't change his goofy ways for anything! There is plenty of time in life to be serious, let him be young and silly while he can and sit back and enjoy the ride!
Scroll down to "bothersome behavior" and anything about behavior shaping or habits, Dr. Sears has some great advice for this:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060100.asp
But really though, silly behavior is pretty normal, just help give him some behavioral sharpers that will help him learn to calm down and listen when the time is right.
When I act silly with mine, they get their silly fix for the moment and then I will say something like "Ok, play is over now, let's do homework". At that point I can usually get them to cooperate.
I love the silly-ness though, but it seem like in your case you don't find this quite funny and because you do not, he thinks it is funny and continues. I think he gets a kick out of seeing you get serious or maybe you are just not serious enough for him to get the message.
reverse phsycology sp? mom. my oldest was that way and kinda outgrew it but is still silly when he can be he has a really warped sense of humor but he is funny when he does it. he has a very vivid imagination too. with reverse psycology he is still being silly in his eyes but technically he is minding you. part of it is a phase he will outgrow some of it but not all of it. there is a time and place for being silly to much silliness mine went to the corner. then he would do a dance for me while in the corner which I just ignored he quit after about 2 weeks
ps mine is 21
Is he just tired?
Some kids get slap-happy/punch drunk, when tired and get like this.
Or its just his personality and maturity.
Don't know if he will grow out of it.
My son is 4, and he is SO silly too and very talkative.
But, (I just got him in a 2-day a week preschool), the Teachers say he is real good there and listens very well. What a relief for me. Because at home... he is a constant active talking silly and very physically active boy!
But my son, still naps everyday, in the afternoons. This helps him. He gets SO tired everyday from all the activity.
I tell mine I don't like that kind right now. First things first... let's get the work done then play. If they refuse then I walk away. Then they will beg for my attention and then do what I was asking for.
Or you can approach it from another way. Reverse psych. I have done this with a lot of success. If it is about homework or something like that. Put a coloring page and crayons in front of him and tell him not to color on it. That type of thing.
Tell him not to pick up those toys to save it for you to do it.
Sounds like maturity. He's doing it because it works. Either he gets you to spend time with him to redirect him, or he gets your attention through yelling. I know you don't like yelling - no one does - but sometimes it just gets SO frustrating, doesn't it??
I think the best way to ignore him is to separate him from you - put him in his room and put a child-proof doorknob cover on it so he cannot get out. (We used a gate-hook on the outside of the door for our son.) If you are still in the same, or the next room, trying to ignore him, he will keep at it. You have to remove him from the situation completely so he has no audience. And you have to be consistent. He can get one warning - just one - and then he goes to his room. Period. Every time. If he's 4, he stays there for a minimum of 4 minutes. Then let him out if he's calm. If he does it again, he goes back in for 4 minutes.
I would definitely hold him back - we did that with our son who really needed an extra year to mature. Your son can use that year to develop the social skills necessary to function in a large group in kindergarten. He will not do well if he's goofy all the time and irritating to the other kids. Keep him in a smaller preschool or preK class, and develop a plan at home that you can really stick to.
Hang in there - when he learns to control it, he will develop into a very funny kid who is amusing but not overbearing! But doing the opposite of what he is told isn't funny now, and it won't be funny later!
You definitely need to teach him there is a time for silly, and a time for not silly. If the time is not to be silly, then he needs a time out for acting silly when he isn't supposed to. Then you need to designate a time for "silly time" and let him play and act as silly as he wants. Then when silly time is over, no more!
Some times you will need to ignore the behavior and sometimes, like when you are trying to talk to him, tell him to do something etc you will need to enforce discipline like a time out.
It definitely is a phase but he is testing you to see what he can get away with. If he is doing the opposite of what you tell him and thinks it's funny, this will be come a huge problem later if you do not put your foot down now.
Here is a great book that helped us with our son:
http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Strong-Willed-Child-Rex-F...
Good luck!
Sounds frustrating for sure. Have you tried encouraging silliness, giving him time to go all out. Have a silly half hour, and encourage him to be even sillier? Perhaps some focused attention on him, and then try to alternate with non-silly time. Might be worth a try on a weekend.
