Signing Rights Away???

Let him do it. I have been through the worst battle for my son... I only wish it would have been that easy. I think it's better for him not to be there at all rather then coming in and out of her life.

I agree, I think he wants to avoid the child support thing, but if he pays child support then he also gets visitation, I think. Go with what you heart tells you. I would also contact a lawyer and ask for suggestions.

Let him sign his right away, and say good riddance! I got pregnant my senior year in high school, I had been going with him for 2 yrs and we were so much "in Love", he was 4 yrs older than I. We had plans to marry once I was out of school...until he found out I was with child, then he ran to the hills and wanted nothing to do with a child. I had him sign his rights away, best thing I ever done, cause 5 years later I met a WONDERFUL man, got married and he wanted to adopt my son so we could be a true family. My son is now 19 and knows the whole story and is glad he was not forced to see a dad that didn't want him just because he was paying child support. And has never seen him till this day, my husband that adopted him is his dad in every way and I will not regret my decision. As for his family, they understood my decision and agreed not to interfere.
Good luck to you.

this is a hard choice to make but it sounds as though he didnt care then so why figure he will change now?this is somthing very personal.I would probably allow him to sign his rights away and tell him you havent been there you arnt going to start now,but I would make it perfectly clear he could not be a part of her life ever.

I agree partially with the statements about not letting him get away without taking responsiblity for his child. You'r probably right - he probably does want to get out of paying child support, and that really irks me. I feel he should take responsiblity. But, let me present this as well...how much do you want to be tied to him? Not allowing this will keep you bound to him - no matter how little he sees his daughter, the moment he wants to, you will be bound to respond and work with him because he's the legal father and is paying child support. Is it worth the money? You will have to fight him for this and for regular child support. Is it worth the constant fighting and tension it will cause in your home? Would you want your daughter to go be alone with him and his family? I know he needs to be held accountable for his actions, but you also have a full life of raising your daughter - and her life - to think about. Also keep in mind that you know his name, and with current technology you can seek him in the event your daughter wants to meet him. Ultimately you need to make this decision based on what's best for you and your sweet little one, not on what will hold him accountable for his actions. I'm not trying to sway you in any way, because I do agree that this is not right of him - I just wanted to present a slightly different perspective. And, yes, this is based on experiences of and with close friends, one of whom is currently attempting to terminate parental rights.

S.,

I too was a single mom with my first child. I was engaged to be married when being young and innocent realized later that I wasn't really in love. I decided to call off all wedding plans. Shortly after that, I found out that I was pregnant. I too had pressure from others to abort. I chose to press on and accept my responsibility and have my now son. At the time it was difficult and I too did it on my own (although my father was my coach). I feared being single the rest of my life and the whole situation was very scarey to me.

After the baby was born, I called my ex and told him that he was a father. I met with his parents who had seeked counceling as to how to handle the situation. They all denied being a part of my son's life. My ex denied it was his...threatened to dispute it, threatened trying to take him away from me, etc. He finally decided to come over when the baby was 6 wks old. That was the last time he had seen my son until years later.

During that time, I decided to take him to court. His wages were garnished because he wasn't paying. When my son was less than a year old, I was introduced to a man via blind date who is now my husband of 20 yrs. At 10 years old, my husband adopted my son! We always refered to my son as my husbands son (never step) and he took on my husbands name long before the adoption. The adoption just finalized what we already knew in our hearts.

Over the years, I had every one telling me what a jerk Tim was because he didn't want to see my son anymore and because he wanted to sign his rights away. I NEVER LET MY SON KNOW THAT HE WASN'T WANTED BY TIM. In fact, I told him about his biological dad early on, and that everyone handles things differently. I told him that his bio father just couldn't handle it that another man was fathering his son, but that he was now blessed with a dad who loved him very much and wanted to be his daddy. Through the years we talked about his bio father and I would show Justin pictures of Tim. I had kept my diamond and some trinket stuff that Tim had given me when we were together with the idea of passing it on to my son. I accepted that although Justin was adopted, I would permit him to see Tim if he desired. After all, it is his blood and I did not feel it was my right to deny him of that. Tim was not a mean person. Just not ready.

My son is now 23. I set him up to meet Tim 3 years ago. It was the best thing I could have ever done. This moment had confirmed to Justin who his REAL dad was. He has spoke to Tim about 2 times since. It is a wonderful feeling after years of heart ache to know that all the decisions I had made were worth sacrificing my emotions and feelings.

I advise you to put aside ALL of your own feelings and emotions and make ALL your decisions for the benefit of your child... what ever those decisions are. Your child will need to feel love and acceptance from you. Don't make the terrible mistake of using your child to get back at your ex. as so many do. As I have aged, I have realized that being a good parents means sacrificing our self.

In the end, it will be worth it.

God bless!

I guess it depends on whether you need money or can make it on your own. I would let him sign the papers. He sounds like a bum, and has let you know he doesn't want to be in her life. And has proved it by impregnating someone else. Get an IUD before you get #3

Do not let him sign away his rights. He needs to be held accountable, and not think he can just walk away. If you don't push for child support, he will do this other women, as well.

Good Morning
S.
I raised my daughters on my own as well. he has to pay child support weather he wants to see your littel girl or not he is still the bio Dad So rights or no rights.
He will still have to pay child support weather or not he desides to sign his rights over .
The other thing is I wouldnt hold my breath waiting for his child support to come in at the end of every month if he would shirk his emotional Responsibilities to your littel girl there is a good chance he will shirk his responsibility to her fiancially as well
Do dont go holding your breath on that one either

Just wanted to let you know that even if you don't establish paternity now, he can request it at any time. I took this route with my daughter knowing that she (and I) would be better off without her dad. She was a little over a year old and he requested paternity. Of course once it was established then he immediately had visiting rights, had to pay support, and they forced me to change her last name to his.
She is now 12 and I know that we would still be better off without him. Maybe if I had gave him the option to sign over rights when she was born then I wouldn't have gone through this.

Good luck with your decision.

As a former single mom... I would have loved to have been in your situation. You can get child support from him without having to deal with him!!! Take the money... you'll need it! TRUST ME!
If he is on the birth certificate he has already signed that he IS the father and accepts the responsibility. Take him to court (the state should pay for it) and get the help you deserve. It's funny how men are willing to be there to make the baby but not to raise it. I never recieved a cent from my daughter's father because he wanted a paternity test. (I found this out when we were suppose to sign the birth certificate.) So I told him that he wasn't going to be on the birth certificate, he didn't have any rights to her as a father, and no I don't consent to the paternity test. He HATED hearing all of that! He asked a lawyer if I was able to do that and the lawyer laughed at him and said "YUP!" Her dad said that he was going to take me to court. (Three years later and I'm still waiting!)
I put my self through nursing school and now I am happily married to a man that is wanting to adopt my daughter!
My point to telling you my story is to let you know that you can do it without him. I told her father, before I had her, that if he ever walked away it was going to be the first and the last. I didn't want to be the one explaining to my daughter why daddy doesn't love her, why daddy keeps leaving, why daddy didn't call on her birthday... are getting what I am saying. I didn't do it for me, but for her. I was in the same situation when I was little and it was very hard not knowing why my father was never around. A lot of tears were wasted on him. Don't let this happen to your daughter. PLEASE!!! She and you both deserve better. It must be nice to be able to have the "LUXURY" of deciding when you are going to be a father and when you're not. (Which is what it sounds like he is trying to do.) Mom's don't get that. it's 24/7 non-stop job. A great one at that. Plus you get to be selfish with her. You don't have to share her with him!
On the other hand, finances are tough. You won't be able to provide for your daughter like you want to without having to bust your butt to get it. But let me tell you, all of the hard work is worth the smile and joy on her face!
It's possible to do it on your own, and you can if that is the way you choose.
I hope that my story inspired you to make the best decision for you and your daughter. It's not an easy one and only you know which is the right way to go!
~GOOD LUCK~

S.,
It's time to take him to court. If he doesn't want to be a part of her life, that's fine, but even if your daughter was unplanned, he surely knows how they happen. You did not make that baby alone. You should not have to support her alone. Babies are expensive. If you don't need the money, then put it all into an account for her future. Get an attorney and be prepared to fight for your daughter's best interest.
Best of luck and God Bless!
J.

Hello S., I have read most of the posts here and I am noticing that most moms want you to keep him as the father so you can get child support. Reality....you will most likely NEVER benefit from that. He isn't interested in being a dad....so he isn't interested in being a responsible adult and supplying financial help for his child.
Cut you losses and move on.....but if he is out now, he is out for good. Thats it....no changing his mind.
Save your daughter the heart ache and trouble. When she is older and wants to know....tell her who he is and let her make her own opinion about him.
good luck.
T.

Ask yourself this - what do you think you and your baby deserve? This is probably something only you can decide. I'm sorry that you were dealt this situation, I'm sure this is tough. I can only imagine. Good luck to whatever you decide.

Paula G.

Depending on your income, even if he signs his rights away he may still have to pay child support. If you sign up for ANY government aid (i.e. WIC, food stamps, medicaid...) the government will go after him for "reimbursment" of these services. Meaning, they will make him pay child support. If he wants to sign his rights away, let him; he's the one that's gonna be missing out in the most precious enjoyable part of life. I just want you to know you are part of the bravest group of people I know, single parents. I'm a stay at home mom of 2 very active boys; I don't know how my sisters do it (both are single moms) but my praise to you for taking on this enormous responsibility yourself. Children are the best gift we can recieve in life and we should cherish it, not throw it away. Good luck hun and God bless you.

Absolutely not! You have every right to receive child support, it takes 2 to tango and she is as much his responsibility as she is yours. If on down the road you get married and your new hubby wants to adopt your kids and is willing to take responsibility for being "daddy" then if her "father" still has no interest in being a "dad" you should do it but as long as you are a single mom, you need to think about the things that child support can provide that you might not otherwise be able to do.

Sue him for child support ,girl. Sounds like that's the only thing he will be good for.

Absolutely let him sign his rights away. My sister has a son w/ a previous and now 12 yrs later, he has not seen his son in 8 yrs but has rights to him! She has been remarried for 5 yrs and her new husband wants to adopt her son but can't b/c the real father won't sign rights away......if you think you will not get child support anyway, you need to be able to move on. If you think he is young now and will eventually come around, you may want the father in the babie's life. You may need the child support and now with the laws the way they are, you have a better chance of getting it. Do you love this man? If not, truly, think about 10 yrs from now, if you are remarried, your new husband may want to adopt and you will not be able to. Sorry you are dealing with this..
ps/ if you pass away, God forbid, he gets the child. My sister deals with this too. Sign away!!!! If later he wants to be in the child's life, he can, he does not have to have rights to be the babie's father later.....sign away!!
W. M

Please get a DNA test done before he signs his rights away. His family may want to be a part of the baby's life even if he does nothing. I just received news on Mother's Day that I was a definitely a grandmother and now that I know for sure, this baby will want for nothing no matter what my son does.

Hi S.! I'm a single mom as well. I'm going to give u my opinion and then I'm gonna tell u a little about me. We have much in common. :) Here's what u need to think about: If you choose to take him for c.s. than u need to keep in mind that he's going to have many rights w/ things regarding your child-no matter the fact of him practically abandonimg you 2. For some messed up reason, our "system" takes nothing like that into consideration w/ that. Therefore, technically speaking, he can pretty much bounce in and out of ur child's life when it's convenient for him-and u'll be left picking up the peices of hurt, confusion, resentment,etc he's left the child feeling. That's a bit 50/50 since he's bluntly stated he wants no part of ur child's life-but u just never know what they're gonna try to pull. The plus side of taking him for c.s. is that every little bit helps w/ something (ur gonna laugh @ the amt of c.s. my son gets). BUT HE SHLD PAY SOMETHING! HE DID THIS AS WELL. U DIDN'T DO IT ON UR OWN. IT FRUSTRATES ME THAT LAWMAKERS OR WHAT HAVE YOU LET THESE (BIOLOGICAL) "PARENTS" (MEN OR WOMEN) GET AWAY W/ THIS. MEANWHILE OUR CHILDREN ARE BEING PUNISHED AND THOSE OF US TAKING RESPONSIBILITY AND DEFINING THE DEFINITION OF PARENTS HAVE TO STRUGGLE.

Then, if u do decide to have the rights taken from under him ur not gonna have that c.s. coming in. Then later on (if he really wants to be a butt about it) he may turn it all around on u making u out to be the bad one-using his rights being taken away for the reason he's a sorry excuse for a man or father. Either way u go, he'll attempt to make u look like ur in the wrong. This can be a very hard decision. But the only part that really matters is ur daughter. Children need to feel loved, wanted, content, comfortable,ect. Even if hte father may come @ randomly when its convenient for him, at least u (and ur daughter) will know that u tried everything you cld to make it right. Thankfully, our children are alot smarter than we give them credited for nad have strong senses about ppl. Ur child will form her own opinion of him and see how he is all on her own. I hate u and ur child have to go through this-I honestly know how you feel.
I am a single mother as well-to a 21 mth old lil boy. I was "somewhat" seeing my son's father during time of conception as well. Although he left the decision entirely up to me as whether or no to go through w/ the pregnancy, I sensed the feeling from him he'd rather me abort. He as well has an older daughter from a prev. relationship-which he has been in her life from day 1. Although I always knew I never wanted or even seen myself w/ him inthe fututre,I didn't think things wld end up as they have. I became pregnant during my 4th yr of college-stayed in school, continued working as a waitress 5 days a wk, took summer classes to help ease my load for my last yr-never did he even attempt to see if there was anything he cld do to help or even ask or take any interest in the baby coming. (Keep in mind he's 3 yrs older than me) W/O boring u w/ all the details, he caused me alot of stress during this time (as if I needed anymore-had my son a lil early due to stress affecting us so badly. I was in my last yr of college when I had my son-returned back to college w/in 2 wks, back to work w/in 6 wks, had to do my internship (which is like another job) 4-5 days/wk, finish up 3 classes, work @ my reg. job 4-5 days/wk, AND TAKE CARE OF MY SON ALONE! NEVER DID HE ONCE EVER OFFER NETHING-except a call maybe 1-2 times a mth. My dad has been an inspiration and my coach. He too was a single parent of my bro and I due to my mother having some bad habits. He has been my father, my mother, my mentor, my bestfriend..my everything! Thankfully I have wonderful friends and family who've been by our side thru it all-I thank God everyday for blessing me w/ them. It wasn't til after I graduated that I was awarded child support-$50.00 a mth! Are u kidding me? Oh! and during the c.s. hearing the judge and baliff were actually trying to make excuses for him as to why he doesn't even attemp to see or check on our son. Now keep in mind this is coming from a guy that was crazy over me...threatened suicide when I'd attempt to cut things off (prior to being pregnant and once during), and so on. I made several offers to him of just signing his rights over-his response to me was "No. That'll make it easy on you." I mean, who says or thinks like that? He finally decided to do something w/ himself and join th Navy-its been almost a yr. He actually gave me $180.00 this past Christmas-which makes him the best dad in the world now! HA! He maybe seen his son once or twice a mth-never did he call to check on him, or see if he was still alive for that matter! So about 3 mths ago, I gave him one of two options (no in btwn anymore). He cld either start showing some interest in his son or he cld sign over his rights and wldn't have to even worry about paying c.s.-considering I pretty much made it through the toughest times w/o it. Fortunately (for my son anyway) he has started taking some initiative. He's stationed in Texas right now, so all he's able to do is call but thats more than he's done the past 17 mths of his life.
Sorry I wrote a novel, but I just wanted you to know that your not alone. So KEEP YOUR HEAD UP..UR CHILD WILL KNOW WHO WAS/WASN'T THERE.
Good Luck!
E.

Honestly if I could make it on my own without the support of the father (which you obviously have so far) then I would let him sign his rights away BUT I would make sure that he nor the rest of his family had anything at all to do with the child. If you won't let him sign his rights away then his family may get involved and he may end up getting visitation or trying to get partial custody.
Sounds like he needs to keep his pants on if he is going to get women pregnant and then not want anything to do with them!!
Good Luck, this is a tough situation to decide!!!

Don't let him sign away his rights. Go for the child support. He should have to help you out. Even if he doesn't make a lot of money. Paying child support holds him accountable for that child. He shouldn't be able to just walk away.

S.,
Don't do it!!! I am the single mother of a wonderful 2 1/2 yr old boy. My situation was very similiar with the father as you except he didn't have any other children.
I thought that was the best thing to do, and I now regret it as my son is of the age to start asking about his dad. Who is he? What did he look like etc? As you know there were a lot of emotions attached with carying a child by yourself..feelings of betrayal being dumped, anger etc...but remember it is about what is best for your child-not you. Let your child get to know his father and let them decide when they get older what they want to do. From experience by signing of the rights, you will removing any responsibility from his father to participate. Even if you can care for the child on your own, his lack of responsibility or interest in participatin is his problem, not yours. It's not your fault that he now has legal responsibility to pay child support. You can chose to request child support or not, it's up to you. It really is a separate issue. I am very sorry that I did let hisfather sign off, because now Gabe has lost an opportunity to meet his father. In his father's mind, it's "out of sight out of mind". If he would have had a legal responsibility, he may have changed his mind later down the road, and had some part in his son's life. If his father was still making empty promises and breaking them, being inconsistent, irresponsible, then your child could make the decision for themselves that their dad was really a jerk and there is closure. If he signs off, there is no closure.
Hope it helps!

This is difficult. I say don't let him sign his rights over so you can get child support. No one should be able to help make a child and not contribute. Times are rough and hard so why should he not have to take responsibility. And on the other hand I say let him sign his rights over so when you find someone worthy and wanting to marry you he can adopt your child. I read what happened and I hope it all works out for you.

S.,

This is my opinion..... You did not make this child on your own. If he "doesn't have time" for the child, that's one thing. But he should have to take some financial responsibilty. I wouldn't let him off the hook that easily. I have a two year old daughter. I know how expensive children are and couldn't imagine having to support her financially by myself. If he wants to miss out on being a part of his beautiful daughter's life, so be it. It sounds like he doesn't deserve her anyway. But he should have to help support her.

Girrrrl-Nope! DO NOT let that man get away with ducking out of his responsibilities. He needs to man up and help to support that baby! What are you supposed to do if he doesn't help to raise that beautiful baby? If he is permitted to sign his rights away and you have a tough time with school clothes then who is gonna help you? What if she needs braces in the future and you do not have a decent dental insurance plan that covers them? That baby's daddy needs to be accountable and help to pay for those types of things. You need to focus on the health of you and your two babies ONLY and not focus on what him or his family thinks of you. I was a single mom from the time my 15 year old son was 19 months old until 6 years ago due to my son's father (my first husband) dying, so I know exactly what it is like to worry about what the family of that baby girl's daddy is thinking about you, but at the end of the day, you still have to be the one to raise her and YOU are the one that has to be accountable for her well-being. Just make sure that you are thinking in terms of your financial stability as well as you can-I know that it is hard, and also in terms of your children's best interests. You are going to be alright. So are those babies! Do not even listen to heresay, no matter who it is from-blood is thicker than water, and the man's sister is gonna have him to protect and even if she is your friend, you still need to be thinking about yourself and your baby. Do not be fooled, and be smart!

It sounds like he is a very selfish person. He doesn't want to pay child support, but when he feels like it, he would like to have contact with the child. Isn't that nice! First of all, the two of you made the child, so it is up to the two of you to provide for the child. Who else do you think is going to provide food, shelter, clothing, medical care, education, and entertainment? Your kids may not be in school now, but when they start, there are a lot of costs involved with that such as clothing, backpacks, markers, classroom supplies. What about saving for their college education? These things cost a lot of money, especially for two kids on one income, and it isn't the taxpayers responsibility to pay for the irresponsibility of two grown adults! Your child deserves the monetary support of the father, whether he chooses to make time for her in his life right now, or not. Whey should she have to do without just so that he can be live footloose and fancy free? Have him pay it through the court system so that you don't have to chase him down for it every month. Paying child support every month may make him appreciate the small price of a box of condoms! If you aren't collecting child support for your other child, get that too! What does his family mean by "they would like to meet her one day"? Now, when whe's grown, when??? You need a little more information than that. If they are good people, and want to have a relationship with their granddaughter, then let it happen. They could be a good support system for you. The father may actually become attached to the child if he is seeing her while she is visiting her grandparents. You just have to make sure that the environment is a healthy one for the child. I certainly hope that this difficult situation has taught you a valuable lesson too about family planning. Good luck!

Signing his rights away doesn't give him the option of not supporting that child! You can let him sign his rights away but still have him pay child support, but that's all, he just will not have a say so in how you raise her. It took two to make that baby and if he didn't want one he should have used protection. That child did not ask to come into this world and all parties are responsible for her upbringing wheather it be physical and/or financial. This child is going to one day want to know why her father did not want to have anything to do with her and it's going to really hurt! And if his family wants to see her someday, where were they when you were going through the pregnancy or since she's been born? They ought to want to see her NOW! She is apart of them also.

I agree that it sounds as though he wants to be released from responsibility. You need to decide whether or not you need his help, but make it clear to him that he can't have it both ways. In or out. Don't sign away fatherhood now and decide to be a daddy later.

Well S., been there done that... don't let him off easy.. I say push for child support. Why should he be able to just walk away? Mistake or not, a baby was born. If he chooses to never see the child, so be it. I wouldn't think twice about pushing for child support. To me, it's not about the money, but about instilling something in his head saying.. I have a kid I have to help support. It took my ex a while befoe he even paid and I did fuss about it. Now, he pays monthly ( has for quite a few years) and calls and visits her. ( daughter is 11) Good luck.

I've never been in that situation but my advice is to NOT let him sign away his rights. It sounds like he's just trying to get out of his responsibility. The only benefit to him signing away is that if you ever do get married later on, your baby can be adopted by your new husband without any issues.

Let me asked you this are you saying he has two children he has nothing to do with? Your daughter and a son, well I think it is about time he started taking care of his kids. And if I were you I would make him pay child support. Now that is just my own thoughts.

P.

Push for the support ,, it's not for you anyway it's for your daughter and she is entitled to it, as for his rites - he has the right to support the child he created as for being a father or dad thats another story you can't make him care, as for his family" well" thats up to you, would it benefit your daughter ? what kind of people are they ? it would be great if she could have the best of both worlds and form her own opinions about her "dad" I believe the courts decide on whether he can sign away his rites or not. He doesn't automaticly have rites just because he is paying support ,I believe he has to file for them and has to attend a parenting class as well.

Even if he signs his rights away he is still the father and still has to pay support for his child..to you..specially if you can prove he is the father..good luck..
S. B

Hi S.. My name is M.. I'm a single mother of twin 15 mos old boys. Their father and I were in an on and off 8 yr relationship. When I told him I was pregnant, he was convinced that we should put them up for adoption. That was just not an option for me, and after 5 mos of counseling, I told him he was free to go. And he did. In March, I completed 6 mos. of legal action to terminate his parental rights. He made jestures during this process that he wanted to be in their lives. I made the decision to finish what I started because I didn't want someone who was so willing to walk away from his children to have any rights in their lives. I didn't want him to walk in one day and decide he wanted partial custody. I believe my children deserve something far better than that. I will at some point contact him to find out if he is really serious about being part of their lives. If he is and is willing to do the work a parent should do to care for their children, then I would never stand in the way. My opinion is if you have to convince him to take an active role in your little girl's life, then what kind of a role model will he be. Probably not a very good one. And your daughter deserves better. So do you. That's my two cents. Best wishes. I know this isn't easy.
M.

S.,
Most counties have a legal aid society. They are very well versed with how to handle these problems. Please go see them ASAP. I have heard RUMOR, and it is strictly a rumor that he can sign away his rights, but you can still obtain support from him, or the state will pay you and go after support. I know it all depends on where you live. What ever you do think about it long and hard. Don't try to keep him in your life and your daughter's life just so he has a father. But also, something I've never understood is why when a guy finally grows up, says I'm sorry, I want to see my child the mother says NO!! They say no because they always had to deal with the child and he was never there. ALWAYS do what's best for your child even if you have to take a back seat sometimes. I hope that someday he'll grow up and see what he's missing and when he does that you'll allow him to know his daughter for her sake. However, if he doesn't he still always needs to be responsible so I would go to the legal aid society and ask for help there. Learn everything you can before you make any decisions, and never leave yourself short and unable to provide for your children to "get" him out of your life because your angry about his response.

Good luck to you and I'll put you in my prayers.

i would say push for child support sounds to me like he is still going to be wanting in her life and he help create her and i feel he should help pay for her besides it is a terriable feeling knowing that your father sign'd his rights over and just didnt want you but that is just my opion

If you can get by without the money, let him sign his rights away. Visitation rights and child support normally go hand in hand. I can't explain to you the horror of having to send your kids away alone with an irresponsible parent. Once you go down that road, you can't go back, until he/she physically does obvious physical damage. :( Plus, you never know what kind of nutjob he may hook up with down the road.

.

Is he on drugs? Do you know his history? Do you know if he is abusive or ever was abusive? Would you be comfortable to let him take your daughter over night unsupervised? Do you trust him with your child? If he pays child support he has every right to joint custody.

If you really think he's just trying to get out of paying then you should probably sue him because he can't just go and sign his rights away let you raise her & then still expect to see her later on when it's convenient to him. A child is not a toy you pull out of the closet when it suits you.

You should really contact a professional about the situation before you make any decisions. Good Luck, I hope everything works out smoothly for you.

I don't know about the legalities of whether or not your daughter's father can avoid child support if he signs over his rights to you but he still has a moral obligation to his child. I would suggest getting some legal and personal counseling to find out what affects this could have on your child as she grows into a teen and an adult as well as him being responsible for her financially. I would think you could take him to court to force him pay child support if a paternity test showed he is truly the father. I thought that if a parent signed over their rights that they still had an obligation to pay but basically had no say in the upbringing of the child. I think you need to put your daughter first and do what is best for her emotionally and financially. Good luck - this is a tough one

I think it realy depends if you want all the things that goes with him paying child support. He could get in another relationship and decide that he now wants a relationship with her. If he is paying child support there is little you can do. You will have to put your child through going to have a relationship with her father and she may not want to. You need to weigh all the pros and cons. Sometimes a little more money may not be worth the future headaches. You may get into another relationship and that person may want to be your daughters father and out of pure meaness, he then may not sign his rights away. These are all things to think about. If he is not wanting to be a father now, it may be better to cut your strings now. If you think he may come around and be a good father then you need to go that route. Good luck.

C.