*Sigh* the Ever Elusive Sleep Question

Hi L..P At 2 1/2 she should no longer be in a crib, I'm going to assume she is not yet potty trained, since she is still in a crib, one of my daycare parents put her 14 month old in his toddler bed, put a guard gate up, puts him to bed, and that's that, she no longer caves in to the tantrums, the crying, by giving into a child sweetie because of tantrums and cryings you are teaching your daughter this how you get what you want. 2 1/2 is old enough to obey at bed time, if she doesn't use discipline, from what i can tell by your post is youre allowing this child to be in control, she controls your sleep and your down time. I hate to say this but what you and your husband are doing goes way beyond patience, you need to get firm, our kids are grown now, but we may have put up with that type of behavior once or twice and that would have been it. Get firm fast. And one mom said she is in her terrible twos, i'm sorry but there is no such thing this is an excuse that parents use to explain un disciplined behavior and bad behavior, we never had sleep issues with any of our children, moms don't make excuses for this behavior, and don't make it an age issue, I've been through these ages already, this stuff that alot of you fall for is not true, and until you realize that, this is what you will deal with. I have heard every excuse here at mamasource as to why kids have sleep issues, tantrums, not being potty trained, getting into things they are not supposed to touch and so much more, but by believing these things are all normal, nothing is being done about it. Alot of things are normal for children to try and get away with, but when you sit back and explain it away, teaches the child nothing. For example we were at a resturant and this little girl I would say was about 3 was throwing a major tantrum and of course people were staring, and the mom said oh she's just tired, and I'm thinking she is displaying a whole lot of energy for some one who's tired. The key to having well behaved children is stop making excuses for the behavior and start training and disciplining. I don't know everything but as a mom for 27 years i do know that Love and discipline go hand in hand. Been there done that. I pray things get better. J.

Just want to say I'm right there with you. Although we put our son into a bed at 15 months, we still haven't gotten rid of the bottle! My 2 1/2 year old boy started crying at 3:30 last night and I went in and said no bottle. After about 20-30 minutes he wore me down and I got him a tiny bit of milk. He wasn't satisfied and just basically cried until he wore himself out an hour later. I think I'm going to just be strict with him next time because giving him a little of what he wanted only made things worse. Some nights he sleeps all the way through. I know how hard it is to be tired the next day when you're kid is up though!! Best of luck to you! Is it a possibility to get rid of the crib altogether? Just a thought. Then, the bed is the only option.

I didn't read all the other responses but it sounds like this is a trying time for you. If she's climing out of the crib, it's time to put it away and that way she only has the option of sleeping in her toddler bed. It's a safety thing!

I agree with putting her in her bed and either shutting her door or putting a gate up. At 2.5, my daughter told me she didn't want to door shut anymore. I told her I'd leave it open, but if she kept getting out of her bed, I'd have to shut the door. You know what? She stayed in there!! It took two nights of her crying and wanting to get out, but then she just adjusted and learned to stay in her bed. Now I say that but she also used to come into our room in the middle of the night and we let her sleep with us so it's a bit different!!

I suggest going over the routine with her verbally. First we're going to brush your teeth, next we're going to read books, then it's pajama time and bedtime. I will read you X number of stories and rub your back for X minutes. Then I'm going out into the living room.

Do this and stick to it. If she comes out of the room - walk her back and tell her she has to stay in her room or you'll shut the door (or just put the gate up). The first night we had the door open (at my daughter's request), she fell asleep IN THE DOORWAY because she knew she could not come out of the room but she didn't want to stay in her bed!

Persistance is key at this point. If you are wishy washy, then she knows she can keep pressing because you MAY change your mind.

Good luck!

I went through something like this with my daughter. She was feeling anxious, and managed to turn it into a HUGE power struggle. In the end, she was controlling me.

Here's what I did: I did a good bedtime routine (reading, kisses, etc.), and then told her it was time for her to go to sleep and I'd be back to check on her in 1 minute. I also said that if she cried or yelled for me, I wouldn't come, but if she lay quietly, I'd be back to check on her. When I went in for the "check-in", I'd engage with her only slightly, maybe just a slight touch on her back before I left, letting her know that I'd be back again in one minute. The idea was to keep visiting her on MY schedule, but before she had a chance to become anxious. I slowly increased that 1 minute to 2 minutes, then 5 minutes, then 20 minutes. When my daughter realized I really would be back, it allowed her to relax and let go of her anxiety. Needless to say, this requires some work on the part of the parent, but it's much less stressful than dealing with a screaming, demanding, anxious child. With this method, I gave my daughter what she needed, but took my power back at the same time.

Good luck!

Sometimes all you can do is wait. This is the age that sleep issues creep up simply because she is learning to be more independent and able to assert her opinions. I would suggest keeping with the bedtime routine and when she gets up simply put her back in bed with minimal talking. She may get up a zillion times the first night but eventually she will get it. Give her extra cuddles during the day when you have time just to help with the moving anxiety. As they say, and it's not what you want to hear when you are ready to rip out your hair, this too shall pass. Good luck momma!

maybe use the move to your advantage. Since everything will be new, "these are the bedtime rules at the new place," Give clear choices...one or 2 bks at bedtime dont ask how many etc. My daughter was a night time challenge as well. i noticed if she is going to bed later than she needs these battles get really crazy. If you can spare the space for now, dont force the new bed yet. just talk about the big girl bed when she is ready and then maybe naps first because at least when she wakes from a nap she can see that she is somewhere different?

Well she's just in her terrible two's and is testing you. When you say things like "last time." but then continue to rub her back or give into her in other ways she is noticing that and therefore knows if she screams and cries enough she'll get her way. So my advise is to break her of this new habit with either of these ways. First you could put her to bed and tell her, "I'll leave the door unlocked but if you come out I will lock it." Then leave the room. At first she'll come out and the first time she does this you take her back to bed (don't rub her back or anything) and then put the child lock on her door and shut it. She will cry and fight but she won't be able to get out and after a while...probably a long while she'll stop crying and go to sleep. Then when you go to bed you can open her door and check on her. You can then leave her door unlocked throughout the night. If you feel that you can't just leave her in her room then you can do the super nanny trick. Put her to bed and then just sit outside her door (get a book or your laptop or something to do cause you'll be outside her door for a while) as soon as she comes out you say nothing and just put her back in bed then walk out. She will continue to cry and come out of her room but every time she does you will be right there to put her back to bed. I had to do this when my daughter was 2 1/2. The first night it only took an hour and then she stopped coming out and stayed in bed. Then the next night she only came out 2 times but I was right there ready to do the whole thing again. I think she realized coming out and crying wasn't going to do any good so that was it. She stayed in her room. But I was kinda lucky I have heard some parents say the first night their child did this for a couple hours. But if you stick to it after a few bad nights she will stop and then you can finally get back to a nice peaceful night.

I agree with Julie. You need to be a little tougher and let her know bed time is bed time, period. If she sashays into your room quietly in the middle of the night now and then to snuggle up to you and fall back asleep that is not a big deal if it lets you all get a nights sleep, but do be firm with her at bed time and let her know it's sleep time and that's it. Put a cup of water by her bed and tell if she wakes up to take a sip and then lay back down. She's old enough to follow through so give her the chance. It's a boundary that is important for all of your sanity, make it.