Siblings - Mesa,AZ

I do invest lots of money, time and effort to keep my boys apart - and schedule sports so they cannot move a muscle after a day is over. Those are the only things that seem to be working.

For older ones try chores or what we do is if I hear/see nasty behavior - towards the younger brother - he writes pages and pages from a book. We decide how many pages and what book. It happens usually after a warning or with a particularly nasty trick without warning. So, he has time alone, practices his penmanship, learns something new and gets out of my hair. The little guy gets a time out and he is rarely one at fault, anyway. With older kids I would suggest chores for offenses. Washing dishes, cleaning the bathroom, scrubbing the tub and washing shoes -are the few we employ.
Good luck.

The good news is that school starts in a week and hopefully that will cool things off a bit! I feel for ya! :)

My kids are 9 and 11 so I'm not fully into the teenage years but our policy is if they're mean to each other, they lose things, t.v, friends coming over, x-box, something. I will not tolerate it. If it keeps up, they stay in their room (no electronics in their room) until they can be civil. That has virtually eliminated the nasty verbage.

Definitely go get the book called "Siblings without Rivalry". It is amazing and will likely have exactly what you are looking for! I'm almost done reading it. Love it.

There isnt much you can do right now except try your best to keep them busy, and make sure that they get time away from each other often.

They sound like they are at the ages where they just dont like each other and everything they do to each other is annoying so on and so on. Its a phase and it wont last. It will take time so be patient.

In the meantime just remind them that they are being disrespectful and the way they are talking to each other will not be tolerated. When they disrespect one another then you should warn them, and that the next time a punishment will be used and follow through. Consistency is important.

Make the punishment something reasonable like whoever says something mean next gets to go scrub the toilet, or wash the windows. Chores around the house. They will get pretty sick of cleaning or working after awhile and hopefully start being nicer.

If they are older teenagers and of having a job age, or have an allowance then you can always get a jar and tell them that every mean thing said costs you a quarter. And you can put whatever goes in there into a fund for them later.

Or take the quarters and get mommy something nice ;) Lol.

Make their environment as positive as possible. Have a reward system.....keep tally points, use marbles in a jar, whatever works for you and everytime they say a nice thing, you can give them a point and whatever you decide together would be a good reward (TV time, computer time, etc.) that can be their reward. At dinner time we also have a little miniature trophy (you can use anything) and we choose a different person every night and the other peoplein the family take turns giving one compliment to that person. You can also say as many compliments, loving words during the day to your sons to demonstrate how to be positive. It is normal for teenagers to behave that way and you may not be able to cut out every single negative comment, but you can eliminate most of it eventually. It takes time and consistency and both parents need to be on board. I am also reading an excellent book, "Parenting with Love and Logic" which helps me deal as a parent with my children and helps them interact with eachother better too. You can sign up for their newsletter which comes every week and has wonderful tips, especially for teenagers.