Should I Send a Grumpy Child to His Room for Being Grumpy?

Honestly, since you have him in therapy, I'd ask the therapist. I also think that there is a particular way you would need to do it for it to make an impact. The therapist ought to be able to help you navigate that.

Behaviors are worthy of a time out/intervention when inappropriate.

Feelings are just that...feelings.

I would not want to be sent to my room for 'grumpy'

Hell...I'd spend a LOT of time there if that were what happened.

***Most on this site would as well***

lol

ADD: Marie brings up a good point about getting a check-up. I have hypothyroid which makes you very tired. Make sure his body isn't out of wack, especially if this isn't normal for him.

ORIGINAL: If you do, it shouldn't be a punishment, it should be a recognition that he's not feeling himself - "I know you're feeling out of sorts, why don't you go take a break in your room", that kind of thing.

You are seeing a therapist so I think that is the best place to ask this question. When my 6yr old is grumpy I sing him this song (Music for Aardvarks "Grumpy" ... then remind him to be grumpy somewhere else.

Then he either asks for help getting un grumpy or goes to his room and hangs out for a bit. Excessive grumpiness or moodiness is an issue - I would most definitely talk about that on your next appointment along with tools to work thru it as a family.

Yep, we all go to our rooms when grumpy--even mommy.

When my kids are in one of those craptacular moods I have been known to send them to their room, telling them to go lie down and rest and feel better before coming back down.
If they are in a bad mood and taking it out on everyone then they are affecting the whole household.
I will often go up after a few minutes to their room to help them feel better but separating them from everyone else is still needed.

I would like to go to my room right now please, it's been that fab of a day, not.

You tricked a lot of people the way you asked this,

If he is in therapy, then there is more to the story and that might affect the answer, people are giving you answers for typical kids, it doesn't sound like yours is.
Meds, or some sort of a disorder could totally affect his moods and isolation could be a HUGE set back.

like dawn, er Doris said, THIS is a question for the therapist, not us.

Before I had my son, I worked with infants and toddlers and was the resident kid whisperer in the family. I never lived with a grumpy child (so I don't know what it's like day to day), but when I would encounter "grumpiness", I would put my arms around them. A good hug really worked well in the moment. It would just stop them in their tracks. I wouldn't try to talk too much right away, just hold them and let them take it in and release whatever they had going on. Sometimes there were no words to follow.

I suggest that next time it happens, go take him in your arms and just hold him in silence for several seconds or a minute. When you feel his body relax and maybe even collapse into yours, then you can ask him calmly and gently what's going on. Be compassionate toward his very real discomfort(s). If he feels validated, it might make all the difference in how he behaves. I find that this works with children of all ages and some adults.

I think that just isolating him by sending him to his room doesn't address the issue and could make him feel worse.

Good luck.

If my kids are being grumpy I ask them what is wrong and ask them to come over for a hug. Usually they respond well to that and tell me why they are upset. It could be that they didn't sleep well or are hungry or that they had trouble at school. I find that empathy works best when my kids are angry, sad or stressed.

i don't know, but i want that rule in my house, right now, to be applied to me! yes! i'm grumpy! it's time to go be grumpy in my room! whoo hoooo!!!!
wait a minute........
;) khairete
S.

I tell my kids they can go to their room and come out when they are ready to be pleasant. One person's bad mood can effect the whole family and that's not fair. Luckily they all are pretty happy kiddos:)

I think this is not typical behavior or simple moodiness that you are explaining to us about your son. Kids this age usually don't have this type of chronic mood swing or incessant lashing out. It sounds like this is chronic and not just passing behavior at this point. I am concerned about what he is doing. I commend you for seeing a therapist but I think what you may need to do is find a way to elongate the sessions he is getting and stick with it. Make sure you are telling the therapist about all of these moods and grumpy behavior issues. They need to know about all of it to be able to help your son fully. I would also look into having him evaluated by the therapist or your pediatrician for bi-polar tendencies, possible ADHD, or behavioral issues. Please don't let this suggestion get you down or upset. I am truly asking you to do this out of concern only and not to hurt your feelings or label your son. I have worked with children all my life and what you are telling me are red flags. Those need to be addressed and explained. The fact that you and your other children are so affected by your son and his moods tells me that this is more than just a simple case of having a bad day or being a bit on the grumpy side. He has moments of aggression, anger, lashing out, and a very, very short fuse. Not typical in this age group. Go the distance and voice all concerns to your therapist and his pediatrician. Get them to take action and help you. I am willing to bet a proper diagnoses or treatment plan will be just what your son needs to get on the road to better days ahead. Follow through and don't stop until you get answers!

When my son is grumpy, I do try to see what's beneath the feelings. If he's not hungry, not needing my attention, just in a bad mood, I do ask that he go take a break in his room until he's ready to be friendly again.

I do have to model that myself at times, too. "I need a break right now, I'm not in a good mood and need a few minutes to myself."

I do also agree with checking in with the therapist on *how* to go about it. There are good ways and bad ways of being told/persuaded to go and take a break. I'd also read "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen...And How To Listen So Kids Will Talk" by Faber and Mazlish. This is an excellent book on interpersonal communication, and it might help you help him figure out what his options are when he's feeling in a funk. (for example, instead of "when I'm mad, I'm not allowed to..." could be changed to "when I am mad, here are some things I can do to feel better")

I would. In my house, the person who is being grumpy or instigating fights gets to sit in their room until they're ready to be social again. If they come out and are still antisocial, they go right back in.

Grumpiness with verbalization about feelings is okay. (Ex: "Tim kissed the girl I like at school today...boy am I mad.")

Silent grumpiness...that's more like pouting, bad attitude, etc.

Teach him that until he is ready to "talk about it" (in the open, or, one-on-one in private), he should either act pleasant or sit by himself for a while.

No one likes a silent grump who won't even give a hint about what the problem is!! That brings everyone down, and it's really not fair to the family group.

I tell my kids that no one wants to be around someone who is being unpleasant, so they may either choose to be pleasant to be around, or they may go to their room until they choose to be pleasant. So, yes, I'd say send him to his room until he chooses to let go of the grumps.

To his room, he goes. We don't change our attitudes till we get consequences.