Should I Let My 3 Year Old Fly Cross Country with Grandma?

Updated on March 26, 2009
S.W. asks from San Francisco, CA
6 answers

My mother, who lives with us in California, is flying east to visit my sister and her two kids this June. I know my daughter would love to go spend time with her cousins but I can't make the trip myself and I'm a little nervous about sending her alone with grandma; the flight is 6 hrs on the way out and 7 on the way back plus the whole time change issue...I'm just wondering what other Mom's think, I'm onthe fence and can't decide. Should probably book ticket soon.

I should add I'm more concerned about the length of the flights, and time change etc. than about my mother's parenting; she lives with us and spends allot of time with my daughter. She's only 60 so she keeps up pretty well too.

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C.C.

answers from Fresno on

If it were my daughter and my mom, I would definitely send her - but that's my family. My parents have been taking my kids for a week-long camping trip every summer since my older daughter was 2, and it has been wonderful for all involved. I guess the question is, do you think your mom can handle it (is she young and fit and patient enough to chase a preschooler around for a week?) and do you think your daughter can handle it (is she pretty independent, or is she extremely attached to you? Does she spend a lot of time with Grandma?). What helped me decide to send my kids on vacation with my parents was - my parents raised me to adulthood, and they always kept a close eye on me. They respect (and heavily influence) my parenting values, and they love my kids. Sure, I miss my kids during the week they're gone every year, but as my mom says, "How can you miss them if they never go away?"

But every family is different! Good luck with your decision!

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K.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Is your mom completely on board with it? In general how do you feel about her grand-parenting? Is she attentive to your rules and goals? Can she make small decisions on her own without seeking your input on everything?

I think if you can answer these questions positively, then let her go. Your daughter will have a great adventure, and the challenges of air travel and time changes can be handled by someone you trust.

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi S.,

You will probably have more separation anxiety then your daughter. You mom and daughter will have a great time. My sister had her husband are in your mom's age group, have four grandchildren that they often take on trips in their huge motor home. They see their grandchildren at least once a week or more. It's good for everyone.

Blessings.....

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J.D.

answers from San Francisco on

If your only concern is the length of flight and time change, it should be fine. I took my son on business trip to the East Coast (made it a family vacation to visit family) when he was 18 months old and he was fine with the trip and time change. When he was two, we flew to Hawaii and he did fine then too. My son traveled for the first time with his grandparents to East Coast last Nov and he did great then too (he was 5). The key is to book non-stop flights whenever possible. Less chance of losing stuff when transferring planes and needing to lug a car seat around the airport terminal. As for time zone changes, kids are adaptable, sure he may be a little cranky at first, but after a day or so, he'll have adjusted to the 3 hour time difference. The main thing is to try to stick to a eating/sleeping schedule and he'll follow it.

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

If your 3 year old is the type who would like to go and can handle it, why not? My kids flew alone beginning at 5 (My oldest had to go visit his bio-dad).

A.H.

answers from San Francisco on

Could you picture your mom managing your daughter by herself in say ... a shopping mall? If yes, it's probably ok.
Personally, I would not let my son go on a trip with Grandma, but that's because he is a handful and she's not able to chase him!

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