Should I Let Her Quit?

I don't think you should let her quit explin to her that quitting is not a good thing and you have spent money already.

I think you should sit down with her and tell her that if would make her current teacher very upset if she quit and that she should continue on with her classes to make her teacher happy that she finished the classes. Maybe have the teacher sit with her an talk to your daughter, maybe she can help her understand. Kids go through things like this and being 4yr she is very much attached to this teacher and having a hard time with everything.

I think you should talk to her about her new teacher and let her know that she is just as sweet and nice as her other teacher. She just got attached to her teacher and then she left and your daughter doesn't know what to do about that. I would try to get her to finish out the year. Maybe then she will want to stay and even come back next year. Get the teacher to talk to her and you also and maybe that would help out a little. Good Luck !!

Ballet is a luxury that I could never afford for my daughter. Do you think your daughter's reaction to wanting to quit is solely because the teacher left? Was the teacher not there last night? Sounds to me you could be doing more harm than good by forcing her to stay in class. Not only is she not participating, she's crying and drawing attention to herself which could be embarrassing for her. I understand you've spent the money on the costume, etc, but I don't believe in forcing a child, especially that young, to do extra curricular activities. She may decide when she's a bit older to pick it up again and you have the option of obliging or telling her no. I think that if she truly has natural talent, she'll find it again at an age she can appreciate.

WELL SINCE SHE IS NOT COOPERATING AND GETS VERY UPSET MAYBE YOU COULD PUT HER IN ANOTHER CLASS WITH A DIFFERENT TEACHER SINCE YOU HAVE ALREADY PAID FOR IT! IF THAT DOESN'T WORK THEN YOU MAY JUST HAVE TO LET HER QUIT! SHE IS STILL TOO YOUNG TO KNOW ABOUT QUITING! DANCING SHOULD BE FUN AND A HAPPY TIME AND SOUNDS LIKE POSSIBLY SHE NEEDS ANOTHER TEACHER !!
HOPEFULLY THAT WILL WORK !

Hey C.,
Honestly, it sounds like she doesn't like change. If that is in fact the case, you need to be patient with her first and foremost. I have a 7 yr old daughter and a set of 4 yr old triplets, two girls and a boy, and their not too fond of change either. I've found, for mine, is to sit them down and try to come to an agreement. Tell her if she'll try in class and do the recital, if she still doesn't want to do it anymore after that, fine, then let her quit the class. But you shouldn't let her quit before then. She's going to have to realize that things change and even though she doesn't like it, that's just life. I've gone through the "change" ordeal and I made a mistake with my oldest. I let her quit a class because something changed. For a while after that she thought she could do it all the time. Something changes just quit. So, I started compromising with her, and it seems to be working. She tries now and if she doesn't like the outcome, she tries harder the next time. I hope this helps you some. Good luck C.!!

My daughter is almost 3 so I may not be on the mark but I hope to get there soon. Do you always stay with her during the class? If not she may have just been reacting to you being there. If you do stay for every class,then it sounds like she may have another reason for wanting to quit. One thing is clear to me. She shouldn't get to quit just because she throws a fit. Crying and refusing to participate is not the way to get what you want and you shouldn't give in. That doesn't mean she should have to stay but you should talk to her and make her give you a reason for wanting to quit other than the teacher. Does she have friends in the class? The teacher wasn't the reason she started and she shouldn't be the reason she quits. I agree with the lady that said there are a lot of lessons to be learned here and this is a good chance to teach them. Good Luck!!!

I started dancing ballet at 3, and at first didn't particularly care of it. My advice would be to dance with her at home. Hold a little ballet class just the two of y'all, or with both your girls. The more you do it at home with her the more comfortable she'll be in class.

I would not let her quit especially since you have so much $ invested. Let her finish the season and at the end she can decided if she wants to continue dancing or not. I think an important lession to each, even at such a young age, is to finish what we start.

C.,

I believe that children should not get their way by throwing a fit. Help your daughter finish what she started.

That being said, you may want to wait until she is older before enrolling her in another class. I understand that it is very popular in our culture to enroll toddlers and preschoolers, even infants, in structured classes. I taught gymnastics, my husband taught swimming lessons and my sister teaches dance classes to some very young children.

Let me be frank. Putting your children in classes that young really doesn't give them any kind of a significant advantage. My sister, husband and I have all seen children attend their first lesson at age 9-10 and if they have even the slightest bit of natural ability, they will catch up in a month or two to those who have taken "mommy and me" classes since infancy.

If you want to see your daughter in a cute costume or need a break one afternoon a week and have plenty of money to burn, there is certainly not anything inately wrong with it, just don't think it is a requirement for being a good parent. If your child waits another 4-5 years to start this kind of thing, she will not lack self esteem, confidence, grace or opportunity. The studios will try and lead you to believe otherwise because that is how they make money.

When we started our oldest daughter in piano lessons, it was because she came to us and ask if she could take the lessons. She was already a confident reader so we agreed. We sat down and talked about the commitment and the cost and she agreed to stick it out for a certain length of time. We put her in swimming lessons for the first time at 5 1/2. (That was my idea because it is a safty issue.) By the end of her lessons, she could swim the width of the municiple pool just as well or better than those in her class who started lessons at 6 months of age.

If you want your daughter to learn social skills to prepare for Kindergarten, you could put her in a preschool, Mother's Day out, Sunday School or playgroup so she can practice being separated from you, follow instructions from another authority figure and interact more with her peers.

Best of luck,
S.

If it is still making her miserable after 7 months, maybe it just isn't her thing. Ask her if there is something she would rather be doing if she didn't have to do ballet. I agree with not wanting her to be a quitter, but sometimes a person also has to know when to quit.

I disagree with having her call the shots on quitting. There are lessons to learn with this and kids are smarter than you think. Every time she is unhappy you can't just make things disappear. What will happen if her Kindergarten teacher has to leave in the middle of the year? She can't just quit Kindergarten.

Dancing isn't about her teacher, its about her learning and excercising, learning balance and stretching etc. Being a beautiful princess! Its not about her teacher. Put the focus back on the activity and the child, the child has lost her focus and forgotten why she is in dance class.

I made this mistake with my oldest child, letting him get out of situations he didn't want to be in. I constantly stressed myself out changing teachers at school and other things of that nature. This year I called it quits because he refuses to perform for teachers he doesn't like. He is failing the 5th grade and blames it on his teacher. I refuse to move him to another class, because its his responsibility to do his schoolwork even if he doesn't like the teacher. So it does cause problems! Trust me!

Letting her quit now will only show her that it is ok. She will allways think that if she starts something and doesn't like it, she can walk away. Making her stick with it will help her to learn strong skills that in the future will make her a better person and decision maker. Which are great qualities to have. She may be bitter and mad at you for now, but she WILL thank you later.