First of all, my husband and I are fairly progressive with regards to people's sexualities. That being said, our two-year-old sometimes plays that her princess dolls kiss each other (ie- one princess will be asleep and the other princess kisses her to wake her up.) I tend to tell her that it's ok for the dolls to kiss, although usually boys kiss the princesses. I don't want to tread into explaining sexuality to my toddler, but at the same time, I want her to understand the difference between boys and girls, while also not leading her to believe that there is anything really wrong with two princesses being together.
Or should I just let her play and figure it out on her own?
*** BTW- she does have boy dolls, and she also has them kiss princesses. Thanks for all the advice!***
Just let her play. To her it's probably more like mommy kissing her when she has the dolls kiss. I doubt she has any sexual thoughts this young.
I'd let her play.. The more you bring attention to something like that the more compelling it will be.. She is just playing.. Nothing wrong with it..
Let her play. It doesn't mean anything to her. It's just two things kissing. She doesn't even understand the difference between male and female.
Trust me, she will eventually understand/want to understand the difference between boys and girls. When it comes up, just let her know that people love other people and it's important to be happy and comfortable with your life.
She's two. Don't even think about it! She has no concept of sexuality right now!
Let her play, let her have fun! No need to explain to her, she wouldnt understand anyway!
Let her play however she wants. You kiss her to wake her, right? Maybe in her imagination it is the "mama princess" waking up the "kid princess".
Also, there are a ton of diferences between boys and girls...she'll figure that out no matter how her dolls play! :)
I say, figure it out on her own ( but I KNOW there's some mama's on here that will give you a hard time, just ignore them! :)
L.
Let her play and don't put any more thought into it. Her play is completely innocent.
She'll figure it out on her own. She's just little! Let her go.
Just let her play. At this age, she probably doesn't even realize there's a difference between boys and girls. Trust me, she will soon learn the difference even without you explaining it to her at 2yrs old. There's nothing wrong with what she's doing. It is, however, wonderful that she's able to entertain herself with her dolls - I would keep encouraging that without limiting her imagination!
OMG, she is a baby, that is totally just play. She has no clue of the difference.
I wouldn't say anything one way or the other. She is just 2! I recently had a baby and my 3 yo son says he has a baby in his tummy too. He says his is a girl baby and he has named her. I have not bothered to explain to him that only girls can have babies, what is the point, he will learn it eventually. As long as she is not acting inappropriately, like kissing other people when the affection was uninvited. Even then, I would only address the behavior, not the sexuality of it. Let her play.
Just let her play. She doesn't "get" it yet. You don't have to do a lot of active teaching about diff btw boys and girls, kids pick up on that on their own...you will be so surprised. When she does get it, she will make it really obvious. At that point you can express whatever it is you want her to understand about boys and boys/girls and girls/etc.
It's great the you are so open about sexuality but right now it's not the time. Your kid is just having fun with her dollies and probably doesn't care if who's kissing who. But in due time, she'll figure out the girls vs. boys mystery and understand that her own sex and what that means. I have a 3 yr old who definitely knows she's a girl but will still say that when she grows up she wants to marry me because she loves me! My friend has a boy and girl and when they were little they used to "get married" to each other during playtime as well....You'll see, kids this age will make lots of gender "faux pax" but just smile and enjoy this age of innocence because very soon, they'll figure it all out!
I think its too early to start worrying about that. She might just be acting out what she sees and hears in her stories. Mickey Mouse is over 55 years old, which means for the past 50+ years generations of kids have grown up hearing and reading stories in which there was kissing and getting married from a really early age. Is it possible she's just following suit and using what she has available (does she have a boy baby doll? If not, time to diversify and don't worry about what she's gonna do with them then). But make sure that the shows she's watching are not overly suggestive and that young baby sitters - if present - are not watching more mature shows around her.
First, bravo on a progressive attitude, it's something I've adopted in many areas of life and often take flack for it.
It's impressive that your 2 year old is doing imaginary play as well, my 21 month old is barely starting to do the pretend to talk on the phone thing.
I fully believe in educating children about sex at home and in a realistic, using real words manner and I too want my son to grow up not judging other people for their sexuality or any other aspect of their humanity.
At this point though, I doubt she needs a whole explanation of sexuality, she's too young to completely understand the concepts and social complications that go with sexual relationships. Affection is affection at her age, just let her play and if you see a specific situation that she wants explaining for, I'd do it then and of course keep it age appropriate. She's probably emulating what she sees, perhaps affection between you and your husband or something she has seen on tv or in pictures. No reason to think you're leading her any one direction at this point. I would just say don't put a negative spin on any of it and you ought to be okay.
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Way too early to care about boy girl stuff. If you mean "progressive" as in liberal and accepting, and not wanting to give her any phobias or perpetuate future hate crimes, those talks come later. If you raise her in a house where she never hears anything negative about various lifestyles, that's good enough to leave specifics for when she's older. If you mean "progressive" like she's already been exposed to sexuality in shows and stuff and is witnessing you guys and is mimicking mini sex and kissing scenes with her dolls, I still wouldn't over-explain it.
We suddenly just started to teach my almost 5 year old not to kiss people on the mouth, not sure where she saw it-possibly some TV if we weren't careful, or seeing us kiss, but we're telling her "Kids don't kiss on the lips, only some adults do, it's not polite for you to kiss on lips." Then we trade cheek kisses and hugs and thank you's and leaving it at that. Even she's too young to care about which of our friends are gay or not or what that means.
My 3yr old daughter just told me yesterday that she loves me so much she is going to marry me :) i just thought it was so sweet I didn't feel the need to correct her, because she will figure it out or I instill that she can ask me or tell me anything, so if she has questions in the future I am sure she will come to me for the answers.
First of all, I want to congratulate you on your views. It is so refreshing to read that another parent is teaching her child from a young age that diversity is OK.
Now, I would say that this is the time when you child is learning and figuring things out and she will do so in her own time. Much in the same was as when a little girl announces that she will someday marry Daddy or a little boy will say he will someday marry Mommy.
As she grows and her understanding develops she will figure out that in fairy tales, the prince does the kissing and probably later than that, she will figure out that sometimes in real life, it's Princess Charming.
You will be surprised at how much she learns this year (my daughter is 3.5) and how much her views change. So don't sweat it!
HTH,
C.
I am not gay and I kiss all my girlfriends, my mommy, my aunts and my grandma's. She's too young to even be concerned about gender issues... she's just showing love, so cute to watch I bet.
Sounds like your daughter has a healthy imagination. Good for you, for raising a child that feel free to express herself so well! I second all of the mothers here who have said, just let her keep playing. She'll figure things out in a way that is right for her, and reflects your progressive values, in due time!
Try to shift your thinking just a bit. I highly doubt this is about sex.
You give your daughter kisses, right? I bet they make her feel loved, safe, secure, like part of the family. It's probably a GREAT feeling for her, knowing that her mommy and her daddy care about her so much and are affectionate with her.
It's likely that she's simply role-playing what she is experiencing in her everyday life with her dolls. So, to me it sounds like you're doing a great job making her feel like a loved and accepted member of the family and she's imitating that through her play.
