A. - I apologize in advance for this long response but I had the same situation. I think this is very, very normal. It takes a while for your body and your mind to adjust to your new life and new schedule. My husband and I have a 5 year old son. For a long while after he was born I was just too tired mentally and physically to have sex... I didn't want to even think about it and when I did it just seemed like it was one more thing to add to my to-do list! I didn't feel sexy, I didn't have the energy and I remember thinking 'if he even alludes to wanting sex I'm going to have to wring his neck'. I have since learned several things - 1) there is some truth to the old sayings about how differently men and women view sex, physical affection and comforting. 2) there is a big mental adjustment from woman/wife to woman/wife/mother; much more than you ever expect. More on #1 - My husband wanted the physical act, yes, but it was also more meaningful to him than just the physical release. He wanted to feel close to me again (it's hard to find time for a baby and a husband - and you can forget doing anything for yourself for a while) and sex was the main way of him doing that - it was how he knew to express his love. He also felt like he would be doing something for me as well - making me feel good, relaxing me, pampering me with the attention. It was a way to get back to our 'normal' interaction 'before the baby'. A lot of times men see sex as the main way they express their love and care for us. While we are looking for a helper/comforter (helping with dinner while I do the bottles; doing the laundry while I put the baby to sleep; snuggling, nothing that leads to sex, on the sofa after getting the baby to sleep; dealing with a crying baby while I take a hot, hot shower), these are NOT the first things that come to a man's mind - sex does. More on #2 - I thought I was a pretty smart, confident woman before I had our son. My marriage was (is) good, we worked hard and made a good living. We had a lot of future plans and were very excited about them and the baby on the way. Having our baby was a wonderful event and I wouldn't trade it for anything. It is, however, a big adjustment. For a long while I didn't feel as smart, as confident, as attractive, as interesting... wow... it can do a whammy on you if you let it. You find out sometimes that, while you felt pretty centered before baby, after the baby it is just one emotion after another with a lot of floundering in between. The amount of responsibility that comes with being a parent can hit you upside the head and make you question a lot of things you thought you knew the answer to. When my husband and I finally sat down and talked about this it opened up a lot of avenues for us. We realized that we were working toward the same things just not in the ways that were the most helpful and/or the ways we wanted/expected from each other. I had been so uncertain about some things - I didn't want to share my uncertainties (and what I thought might be seen as my misgivings) with my husband. I wanted to appear as strong, as 'in-the-know' as I ever was. It was a good front for a while but you can't keep it up for long. Your emotions start to overflow, you can't seem to rest well, eat well, think well! My husband felt a lot of the same feelings but didn't know how to talk to me about it. He thought I was coping so well! He wanted to help out but didn't really know how and I wasn't asking for his help (for some reason, I thought he should just be able to read my mind and take care of things). Like I said, it is a big adjustment... for everyone. I would suggest that you talk with your husband and be very honest - not to put words in your mouth but here's some things I said to my husband - I'm mentally and physically tired and overwhelmed with the reality of being a mom and I'm trying to adjust as best as I can. I really need your (husband) help with this and I need to know how I can help you. Our life together has changed and we need to work together to successfully adjust. You (the husband) might be feeling the same way and we just haven't realized it about each other. I think that if I felt more like we were partners in this and that you understood more about how I felt then I would be more energetic and interested in getting physically close to you again. Right now, because I'm feeling a little overwhelmed, I feel like your interest in having sex is more like pressure on me to have sex. I know that sex is one big way for you to show your love and care for me - I miss it too - the closeness and the affection and the physical release. Right now, though, your hugs and cuddling, your understanding and help with other things is much more meaningful to me than the sex. Let's sit down and revisit the things about each other that we love and enjoy and how we can get back to those things. Let's talk about our new life and responsibilities now that we have the baby and discuss our expectations of each other. I can't read your mind and you can't read mine so let's talk about it. Can we agree to take the 'sex' aspect out of the picture for a short while so that we can get back to where we were before the baby was born and then be even better? Can we agree that we need 'family time,' 'couple time,' and 'personal' time? Let's discuss and agree on some new priorities. A., this really frank discussion was so important to our marriage. After you have a baby you just can't pick up where you left off... it's not where you 'left' it any more! If you can relate this to him in an honest, non-accusatory way, letting him know you want to be partners in this, you want to be there for him the way he needs you to be and vice versa... I think it will make a big difference. Boy... long, long response. I wouldn't have gone on and on about this but I know from experience that it wasn't just 'sex' and not wanting to have it... there ended up being so much more to the problem. Now, my husband and I are really partners. We don't always think alike (far from it), want the same things (or at the same time) but now we know that we have to verbalize things. We can't read each other's minds and sometimes we have an incorrect perception/assumption and talking about what something means to us is the only way to understand and try to fulfill what we need/want each other to be. Best of luck. C.