Seriously? I'm Old Enough to Be Your Mom!

If it feels pushy, push back. If it feels like it's in fun, then have fun back. It doesn't have to be weird. It's hard to know just from his words what his intent was, or how it came across to you.

And, it's not impossible for a 30 year old guy to be truly interested in a 50 year-old woman. Not at all. I'm 51.

Irritating? No way! What's wrong with someone hitting on you and telling you that you're attractive?

No need to tell the husband, just enjoy the flattery.

For me, it depends totally on the guy. I'm not going to seriously entertain even the possibility of a fling with any guy but my husband. But the "non-fling" can be fun and flattering if the guy is entertaining, good-tempered, smart, polite, and maybe even good-looking. But if he's rude, annoying, persistent, and so on, …neither fun nor flattery.

I don't get mad at myself for liking flattering attention (nor am I shaken when another woman flirts with my spouse). Honestly, it feels good, like sunshine, it kind of warms, right? Makes you feel a little juicier, more desirable? Pumps you up when home with Mr. Right?

So......who's your pest control company and what's their number?

;)

(Oh c'MON, that's what you're all thinking!)

Oh gosh celebrate. This isn't worth getting all upset about. And seriously these are the kinds of things that remind us we are still beautiful.
I'll be fifty five in two weeks! What a treat that would be. Kind of different than when I was thirty and got upset with this type of thing. And if your hubby would get mad, well, wow, then he definitely still finds you to be the most beautiful woman in his universe!

chuckle This is just the way some men relate to women. I doubt that he was hitting on you. A woman doesn't even have to be good looking to get this line. The way to stop it is to either completely ignore, i.e not respond at all, or to laugh and go along with it. I worked with men and saw this happen.

When you answer with reasons why not you're actually encouraging him to continue by giving him the chance to counter with reasons why. I know that wasn't your intent. It's just the way these men think. His comment about making you smile is the clue to how this was just flirting to him.

I understand being uncomfortable to be in the room in the future but don't make yourself scarce. He's apt to see that as a challenge. The fact that it bothered you makes it seem that on some level you're interested. Otherwise why would you even pay attention to it?

When you see him next time and he starts in tell him that you don't appreciate that sort of banter if you don't want to play that game. Be assertive. Don't go along with it. What would be best, probably, is to just ignore it. Give him nothing to respond to. Be friendly. Act as if nothing has happened.

If the conversation starts out as "you're beautiful," then respond with a thank you. Don't show that it embarrasses you. You were on the defensive immediately which he sees as a challenge. You introduced the idea that his comment was more than a compliment. Indicates where your mind went which encourages him to go down that road.

This behavior is not politically correct and if you'd like to get him in trouble, then, yes, do report him to your supervisor or his. I've always had success handling this sort of situation on my own. When I didn't want to banter I just told them to stop. Mostly, with the men I worked with I just went along with it, feeling flattered that they were paying attention to me. They didn't tease all the female officers.

I think it was likely harmless flirting, and he was trying to brighten your day. Why would you be irritated that someone complimented your appearance? Granted, as soon as you made it clear that you were uncomfortable it bordered on harassment and he should have dropped it. But I don't think there was anything sinister about it or initially irritating.

Oh what a funny guy!
He's just joshing... he knows he can't have you!
Some guys like what they can't have.
Its a challenge.
He did make you smile.
Some guys, they are just always so full of charm.
The local guys here in Hawaii, can be like that.
But they don't mean it in a creepy groping gaudy pushy way.
They just appreciate any nice looking woman.
Then they smile and are on their way.
Just giving Aloha to women.
They are what I call flatterers. They flatter, but don't take it seriously or expect anything... nor are they gross. Just real full of compliments and merriment.

But if that guy, is a PEST, then tell your Boss or something.
Sitting down at your desk is a bit too comfy or close.
So tell him. And don't joke about it.

I have no problem dealing with getting hit on.
I am very blunt.
And even my Husband said he was a bit nervous coming up to me.

His behavior was very unprofessional and I wouldn't consider it flattering at all. If he starts up again I would warn him that if he persists, you will notifiy his company.

No doesn't bother me at all. I have been married for a long time. Its nice to know that I'm not just a wife and mother. Its nice to know that I'm still an attractive worman.

My husband says I'm still hot, but he has to say that!

I would be irritated that a HIRED worker was asking me to cheat on my husband. Actually, I'd complain about it to his supervisor. Totally out of line.

I get the opposite. I get hit on by MUCH older men sometimes. Like, my father's age.What's worse, is they think I'm 20-22 most of the time. (I'm 30.) So, we're talking a 30 year age difference, I'm married with a kid, and their asking me out. I don't get it. I certainly do NOT act all friendly with men, or even put put those vibes. I definitely don't flirt, or even care to have a conversation. If anything, I put put a "don't talk to me ever" vibe. A 50 something guy propositioned me on the family DVD aisle in Target a month ago. (Like, I can show you a good time propositioning.) I just got back from the park and was totally dirty. It's not like I was dressed all sexy and up for it. Men can be such pigs. I don't find a man thinking I could be the type of women to ruin my family flattering. I find it maddening.

You should call the guy's company-he is probably doing it with other clients-he's going to lose his job if he is not reprimanded and made aware of how inappropriate his behavior is. In that way-you'd actually be doing him a favor.

Flattering yes and no. If he is just looking to get laid, not flattering. I have dealt with men like this and they don't seem to care 'who' you are as long as you have the right parts. That is sleeze.

I would go talk to my boss. Tell him/her what happened and how uncomfortable you felt. Make sure you know when this will aroind next time and ask to be excused for the time he is there. Take your lunch or something like that. If that is not possible then ask if a co-worker can be near when this guy is there. Don't engage him in conversation just tell him what needs to be done and stop talking.

I'm sorry but your post made me smile, you still got it mama! and Yes it would make me uncomfortable if I had to see the guy again.
Good luck and really don't sweat it, if he becomes too persistent just call the pest company.

If he keep it up over the next visits, I would look into reporting him.

I can honestly say I've never had your luck. :) I'm a very specific type and have a very specific type. "We" tend not to go out much. LOL

My dad's a harmless "flirt". Happily married to my mom over 30 years, but he likes to make ladies smile. Nothing as out right as your encounter, but there are men who are just charming and like to see people happy.

Enjoy lovely lady!

Not professional at all......

Ok, once you said no, he should have backed off.....

I wouldn't like that, either...... and yes, any future meetings will most likely be uncomfortable.

Next time he says something, or gets a bit too friendly, tell him VERY firmly, that if he continues to proposition you, you WILL tell his company. And... follow through with your promise/threat!

I'm 51 and sometimes confused by some at my daughtes senior high school as being a student. Lol. Really I pass for 30's.

Take it as a compliment but if he pushes then he's out of line and at that point you firmly let him know your stance again. Push more... Talk to your boss.

Did you ever see Moonstruck (1987 - Cher, Nicolas Cage)?
There's a scene where Olympia Dukakis is seated in a crowded restaurant and they ask her to share a table with this other guy to save space.
She knows her husband is having an affair and this guy at the table flirts with her and suggests turn about would be fair play.
She chuckles at him and says "I know who I am" and goes on to explain having affairs isn't what she's all about.

Ooooooooooh!!!! An exterminator! Yahoo! LOL

I just thought this was funny.
Just be flattered and forget about it!
Avoid him if you can.

i guess i don't dress or act in a manner that would ever encourage flirtation like that so I would be very annoyed that boundaries were being pushed.

I find it really flattering, I always take it as a complement.

Unless it's one of those 'oogey' feeling situations, when a guy comes on like WAY too strong. That's just gross.

I was leaving a job interview one time and a man met me outside. He remembered me from when I worked at the gym so we were chatting. Then he saw my wedding ring and said "oh, you got married." I told him yes, and I had 2 kids (at that time). He then told me if I wasn't happily married he could help make me happy. Gross. It was so trashy. I told my husband and he just laughed.

My hubby likes it when other guys talk to me...because he knows I'm coming home to him and doesn't question that. I'm a big girl, but there are plenty of guys out there that like that, and I get hit on often enough to keep me confident, but not so much taht it grosses me out.

I wouldn't be annoyed by it, just have a fun time with him in conversation and leave it at that. No need to freak out and hubby might need a chill pill if that would really bother him.

It is flattering for whatever reason for others to find us attractive. Why, I don't know, especially when the only one that should matter is our husband.

But, it really shows how little that man thought of you as a person to try and get you to destroy your life and your families life with an affair just so he could have some sexual excitement. You were just an object in his eyes, bleh! How degrading.

What he did on the job was completely innapropriate and I do think his company should be informed that he's treating his position with them so disrespectfully.

Your husband doesn't need to know, but you do need to call the pest control company and raise a stink yourself. Completely unprofessional and I believe you're not the only attractive older woman this guy has approached. I think he's found a niche in the workforce and exploiting it.

I may be way too uptight, but this would be considered sexual harassment if he was actually in your office. I guess I am way too weird and would think 1. the dude was joking and then 2. totally out of line. I don't get flattered by this kind of attention. It creeps me out - always has.

I wouldn't report him, I wouldn't mention to my husband. I think you handled it well, but if the guy persists, call his employer:)

Glad you got a boost to the ego though.

I'm over 50 too, unless a guy is scaring me, I'm flattered. I'll take the compliments when I get them...fewer and far between these days!

Next time you see him, be polite and find something you need to do away from him. Get on the phone when he comes your way...even a fake call.

It would kind of piss me off. You dont talk to a married woman like that WHILE you're working.
Have some respect, and dignity for that matter. Telling a married woman she would like it?
Screw you buddy.

You shouldnt have to deal with that to walk into to work.

You know what really makes me flip my lid? When I have 3 kids with me and men hit on me. Perverts.

Ignore him in the future. If he keeps making comments you need to let him know that you WILL report him to his employers. That should end it all. But you have to be serious when you state this.