Separation Anxiety in Pre-teens?

Hi B.,
This could be hormonal. If she hasnt started her cycle yet, it could be very close. There are many of other reasons too... She is your baby, she may just want to feel closer to you as she experiences changes in her body. She may have also heard of someone losing their mom, a bad accident, sickness, etc. and keeping you in eyesight keeps you safe (in her eyes). Any number of reasons. I would certainly enjoy in bc in all likelyhood, she will not want to be like this in the near future. Normal, absolutly. Just give her your love and listen with open ears. Make sure she knows she can talk to you about anything and try to encourage her to always be open with you. Best of luck to you guys;)

Are you pregnant? That was my babies problem when another one was on the way. My 15 year old still sits in my lap and have me to rub her back just like I do for her dad. She is a daddy's girl but it is just something about Mommy that they can't release. She will stay with friends sometimes but would rather they come her and hang out at our house. Enjoy this time because I can't get my older 2 to pick up the cell phone that I pay for since they have start college. It get's a lot better but then you are worried about them being away. My grandmother's old saying was "they get off of your lap and onto your heart". I like the lap thing a lot better.
Hang in there...
Kisses
A.

When I was younger I was the same way with my mother. I couldn't stay the night at friends or families homes because I would get so homesick for my mother that I just couldn't stand it.
This really didn't get any better until I was about 13 years old.
What I can tell you is that there is a reason for this and the best way to find out what that is would be for you to sit down with your daughter and talk to her about it.
My mom had Gahlstones (spelling?) and I was terrified she would get sick and I wouldn't be there. She had to go to the hospital at one point and I panicked. I ended up hyper ventilating and my mom had to sit with me while I breathed into a paperbag until I was able to calm myself.
I just really was genuinly concerned for my mom's well being and this drove me to feeling a lot of anxiety when she wasn't near.
I don't know if you've recently gotten sick or gone away on a trip or if anyone in your family or any friends have recently passed away, but if they have, then this may be the cause for your daughter's seperation anxiety.
It could be something very small or could be something very serious but right now she is showing you that she needs to feel safe and comforted and near you and it's important you find out why and make sure that something more serious isn't going on with her.

Good Luck!

If that is not her normal behavior and it seems extreme, I would have her talk to a counselor or therapist. You need to get to the underlying problem no matter what.

I also have a pre-teen that just turned 12 that seems to be going in reverse and just not wanting to grow up.She seems to be afraid of responsibility. Maybe she has the same problem?

Has she lost someone to death lately or had someone move away?
It's hard to tell, but be most open to her and just ask her what's going on. If you take the time to listen she will probably tell you and might really need to talk. She may be feeling left out if the grandbaby is near by and she's not the baby anymore. Something about being the baby is really special.

I wish you all well.

Yes, it's perfectly normal. My daughters both went through this. I am very close to both my daughters now (they are in their 20's)but we went through a time where they prefered their friend's company - which is perfectly normal.
Treasure this time! It's so precious. Cuddle her and spend extra time with her. She's about to jump off into being a woman - hold your little girl while you can. She needs all the reassurance that you are there for her that you can give.

This is probably normal as she is emotionally between childhood and teen years. However, perhaps something has happened to her or she has had a traumatic experience that she feels she can;t talk about and is feeling vulnerable and fearful. Talk to her and see if she has been told to keep a secret.

I had something similar at that age (I'm now 37). It lasted about a year and I just had to be around my mom constantly. I got homesick at sleepovers, would call her at work, cried when she wasn't home "when she was suppose to be." It passed, she just kept reaffirming that I was her baby and nothing would change that, ever. It just takes time.

Good luck!

Hi B.,

My now thirteen year old went through similar cuddling starting at about 11 AND I loved it! She never was like that when she was little, she was always too "busy."

I agree with MJ. Her hormones are probably beginning to race and there's nothing you can do to avoid the behavior that comes along with that. You can make it a little easier on her by changing her diet somewhat. Sugar and caffiene are the worst, just like anyone on their menses. DARK (not milk) chocolate has a soothing effect AND is a good antioxidant. It will probably bond you even more if you don't normally share that type of treat...

God bless!

M.
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