Sensitive (Spoiled?) Four-year-old

I have spoiled ones too..my fault, I would buy a lot of stuff earlier in her life. So did grandmas and aunts and uncles and etc. etc.
I have two suggestions that may help.. instead of toys/presents as rewards, have it be an experience..my girls reward charts have "prizes" that are not something that can be bought in stores so much as things like.. go to the zoo, go to the park, go to the ice cream store, get your nails done, get your hair done, etc. If you were buying them dollar store toys, you may have to revamp the # of stickers to get a prize that may cost more money..(you could always go to the free zoo too)
My other suggestion is something that I had to do with my own kids.. either do not take them shopping with me (which is hard) or NEVER buy them anything when they are with me. The key is to be consistent. I mean NEVER. If they ask for something once and you buy it, then they will keep asking and have a breakdown. If you think it is cute and something that they should have as a reward, buy it when they aren't with you and put it away somewhere for them to get when they are good. I have a secret closet for toys that I will pull out on a rainy day IF THEY DESERVE THEM!! The asking won't stop, but the tantrums should. My girls still ask for stuff at stores -- anything from fruit snacks with princesses on them at the grocery store to toys/outfits at a mall. My answer is always a consistent no. Sometimes just no. Sometimes "ask Santa" or "ask the easter bunny" or you get presents on your birthday. etc. I really haven't seen a full blown tantrum about not getting something at a store in over a year since I started this.
As for sleeping, this is extreme, but for my oldest I literally had to lock her in her room. My problem was a little different than yours though.. when she came out of her room in the middle of the night she did it quietly (sneakily) so we wouldn't wake up and then she would go wreak havok on the house..., trying to make a grilled cheese to trying to take a bath. I couldn't chance her getting hurt so I had a hook and eye put on the outside of her door. Also giving her a night light helped..not the plug in kind but there are these kinds that they hold on to. I only had to do this with my oldest and only for about 3-4 months (I might have been able to stop earlier, I'm really not sure) until she learned that she had to stay in there. Like I said, I think this is extreme but if all else fails..

Don't get too upset about this yet. You mention that she's in the process of dropping her afternoon nap. Wait until that transition is complete to wonder where to go next. My daughter is very strong willed and will also freak about things that are dirty, torn or who knows what sometimes. It's her nature, I accept it. When it has been so bad that we can't function like a normal family is when I draw a line and you know what, it's only gotten really out of hand two times. Once when her brother was just old enough to interfere with her life and the second time was when she was in the process of dropping her nap. It took several weeks or maybe even a month or so before we transitioned. I swore that it wasn't the number of hours per day that she slept but the number of hours over several days. When she took a nap one day and not the next it really took a toll on her. It was only until she had her first complete week without a nap that she was back to her normal self.
Give your daughter time to get through this transition and then go from there. Pick your battles and really most of it is not too big a deal. My latest was my daughter dragging me to the hair salon to get her haircut into a faux hawk like her brother. She would not stop screaming that she couldn't see past her long hair. I compromised, let her drag me there when we had other plans and let her get bangs. She was happy and I was embarrassed but happy. I was never given choices when I was little so I may be allowing too much but I am comfortable with this for now. Good luck!

If your daughter is motivated to earn her prize, and is talking about it, I say its not a bad thing. If she starts whining about it, then you need to cut her off. Sometimes the best prizes are outings or special time together. Hey - I used Hershey Kisses to get my daughter to poop on the potty. Once she got the hang of it, she continued to want a Kiss. We slowly weaned her off of it, and of course now its not even an issue. A prize is supposed to be a motivator - and it sounds like your daughter is motivated.

My daughter is also 4 and she can becoming whiny when she is overtired or over stimulated. When she starts acting this way, I know its time to do some quiet activities and calm things down. The other night she made a huge fuss about not liking what was for dinner. We've had the same dinner before, and she's eaten it without complaint. However, it had been a long day, and she was over-tired. It happens. Not the most enjoyable dinner, but we got thru it.

Since your daughter is losing her afternoon nap, I highly doubt she is being bratty. It just sounds like she is tired and acting out. When my daughter stopped napping, I started putting her to bed an hour earlier, and the change in behavior was drastic and immediate.

My daughter just recently started watching commercial television. She thinks advertisements are speaking directly to us, telling us we need to buy things. She will ask me if we need to buy that or can we get that to the most bizarre items that normally would hold no appeal to a 4 year old. But if she sees it on television, and someone is shouting to "buy yours now" she thinks we have to get one. I have explained what an advertisement is, and that we don't have to buy anything we don't need or want. She is learning. This sometimes happens in the store too. She will ask what something is and do we need it/can we buy it. I just explain what the item is for, and tell her we already have some or don't use/need that and we move on. It can be exhausting, but I'm glad she is curious and I think a lot of it has to do with the age and they are still learning how to navigate this crazy world.

Hope that helps - and good luck!

Sometimes our kids just want to feel understood. If she is upset about not being able to have something, or her room being blue, or whatever, you can wonder if she is feeling sad or disappointed or frustrated. Help her express herself verbally, let her talk, and sympathize, focus on feelings, not stuff. Drop the sticker/present system, just help her learn to understand that sometimes we can't have everything we want, though that doesn't mean we can't still want it.

By not spoiling her more! Get her out of the house to run in the park or walks around the block, not in the stroller. Tire her out before bed then a nice warm bath and bed. She should sleep through the night. Reminder her during a tantrum that thia is not the way to get a sticker. Occassionally take her for an ice cream cone when she's being good; don't tell her why, just do it. While eating the treat, let her know you bought it because you love her....very important. Good luck mommy.