Seeking Toilet Training Advise

Make it a game. Have you tried playing Sink the Cheerio? Put a few Cheerios (yes, cereal) in the toilet and ask him to hit them as he goes pee. It may take a man showing him how at first. My son loved it! He too was 3 yrs old.
Good Luck!

Well. Summer is coming. Have you thought about letting him run naked since the weather is warming up. I did that with both of my boys. The youngest trained in 1 week after we did that. It was the beginning of summer and we were spending most of the day outside. He loved "watering" the plants. Good luck.

Hi, T.;
My son was over three when he potty trained. Then we moved and he decided not to remember how to do it. I asked him why, and he said, "I don't want to stop playing with my truck." I of course explained to him that then I have to change his diaper and do so much more laundry...but what got him was when I announced the plastic diapers were too expensive and he uses too many of them up, so we were switching back to cloth. After about a week of walking around in cold saggy soggy diapers (Yes, I did change them, but only after he was uncomfortable for a long time) he decided to use the potty again. I wonder what would happen if you had your youngster start doing some chores...maybe some chores that have to do with his diapers? Not as a punishment, but just as a matter of course. Say he is getting so big that he can start doing some jobs with you. He can put his books away, and dump his diaper into the toilet and flush it, and throw it the diaper in the trash and help take the trash out- all with you being cheerful, of course. Keep up the good work. J.

Hi T.,
I have a 3 year old boy myself. He's not yet fully potty trained either, however he has gone both #1 and #2 on the toilet in the past. He just dosn't make it a regular thing. His father and I are always trying to convince him to go potty on the toilet, but he mostly uses his diapers still. I have heard that a couple cherio's in the toilet, can help with the aim, but it's getting him to get on the toilet BEFORE he has to go that's our probelm. He has gone in the past after watching Dad go (I think the example helped) I think the potty training age just varies with each child. I just wanted you to know your not alone :) Good Luck!

You may have already tried this but you can print a "potty chart" off the Internet. I printed it out, had my son help me hang it in the bathroom and then took him to the store to pick out stickers. He got to put a sticker on the chart each time he even tried to go on the potty (2 stickers if he went poop)and when he filled the chart he took it to the toy store and was allowed to pick out a special toy. He wore big boy underpants throughout this whole process and we had a few accidents but we only had to fill one chart and he got it! For some reason this clicked with him. Good luck!

The best advice we got on potty training was from our pediatrician. He told us not to pressure or make an issue out of potty training. (We asked him after several failed attempts/methods of our own.) We told our daughter (3.5 yrs old) that we knew she was old enough to know when she had to go to the bathroom & to let us know when/if she wanted to use her potty. We left it at that & a few weeks later, she announced that she no longer wanted to wear a diaper. No fuss, no fights, no bribes. . .what a relief! And since the decision was essentially hers, we have had very few accidents. She was ready when she was ready. I'm sure the same will hold true for your grandson. Remember too that children develop at different rates; what worked for your sons by 2.5 isn't necessarily going to work for your grandson.
By the way, I think you are an amazing woman taking on the responsibility of raising your grandson. Best to you!

Hello T.,

I am also a grandma raising a 33 month old little boy for my deceased daughter. He is younger than your grandson but also has no interest in potty training. My theory is that now a days the kids are trained later because the quality of the diapers is better than when we raised our own kids. They just don't feel the wetness like before. Of course I have also noticed that there is a lot less diaper rash which is very nice.
I am sure that this summer your grandson will potty train and will love not having to wear a diaper!

Children respond well to other kids and there abilities, sometimes simply being around other kids do the trick. (Monkey see, monkey do.)

I don't know what you have tried, but putting a Cheerio in the toilet as practice worked great for my friend’s son. He didn't care if he was wet or soiled. They tried small rewards, like another book in the evening or a small trinket, but target practice was the clincher for him. Good Luck!

hi T., we had similar issues with my daughter. She did not potty train until 3yrs 9months. Every child is different--and boy and girls potty train at different times. Having said that, here is what we did that helped. We purchased a video for my daughter to watch called "Potty Power" (they have a boy' s version and a girl's version). We stayed home one whole weekend and let her be without any underwear/pullups/diapers--we kept two little potties nearby. It worked! She still have accidents here and there, but I have to say that weekend was what did it for her---

good luck!

Hi T.,
As I'm sure some folks must have mentioned, this is an individual timing thing. Peer pressure can often do it if the simple readiness is there. Is your grandson in a preschool? I ask because I think if he sees his peers start to go to the potty, he'll likely follow suit, but without this motivation he'll probably take longer. The other readiness signs can include showing interest in underwear. Once my son started talking about them and wanted to pick out his own (which I purchased on the spot)! it wasn't much after that that he began the process. For him, school and the independent nature of his decision were key. After that, I had to learn to be nonchalant about accidents and encouraging that he can do it. Now, with nighttime dryness, I stress that it will happen at the right time, to be encouraging and help relieve his internal stress about that process.
Good luck, and don't worry, he'll use the potty eventually! I really believe that the peer group interaction helps at this age and certainly into the future, so if he's not in one now, perhaps it's worth looking into - even something less formal than preschool if that's not appealing right now - just to get him around other kids his age for 2-3 hours on a regular basis. Hope some of these suggestions help.
Finally, I wanted to second some of the previous responses: the ones that mentioned letting this child be naked in the warm weather months, taking a no pressure approach and letting the child know that you know they can do it, and the ones that commend you for begin there for your grandson.
A.

I agree with Catherine C's advice. It worked for me and 2 boys. They don't want to wear it or see it drop all over their feet so let it happen so they can realize how much they would rather make it to the potty. Don't be afraid of the mess. Take away the pull-ups and diapers so it's not a temptation for you or them. Warmer weather is coming so this is the time to do it!

Dear T.,
Dang. I am 45 with a 21 year old and a 12 year old. No grandkids yet. Thank the Lord. My son was SO easy to potty train that it's almost embarrassing. He hated being wet or dirty. If he so much as peed, he'd rip his own diaper off. My daughter was potty trained by 18 months and there were some family deaths and other issues. Potty training went right out the window. Her favorite time to poop was when she was in the bathtub. I thought at first, hey, she's warm, she's in the tub, she's relaxed. And of course I freaked out, scouring everything and rinsing her all off. I couldn't bear to have any poop on my baby! It may sound mean, but one day, I had enough. She was well over 2 years old and I just said.....if you think poop in your bath water is so much fun....you are going to sit there with it. I called my mother....(I had a very long phone cord), and I said, "Yep. She pooped in the tub again. So, I'm gonna let her swim around in there with it for a while." About 5 minutes is all it took. I always raced to rinse her and clean everything.
She didn't like it. She HATED it. From then on, she told me if she had to poop and that she wanted on the potty. I know it's probably unconventional, but if the kid acts like he doesn't care.....then you pretend you can ignore it also. You don't want diaper rash or extended unsanitary conditions, but racing to clean them up just means they don't have to worry about it. Someone else will clean it. It won't work that way when he starts school. If they let him. So....just as an experiment, try ignoring the diapers. Or tell him he's stinky and he needs to go elsewhere because you don't like it. They do get the hang, sooner or later. Just try every different thing until you find what works. But, in the meantime, like I said, let him be dirty....tell him he stinks so you prefer to be elsewhere. He can poop and pee on the pot....or.....he can keep his stinkiness away. "Love you! But don't want to smell you!"

He is getting bored of it...Kids at three too want to impose a sort of independance. Try dropping the subject for 2-4 weeks and ignore theHe is getting bored of it...Kids at three too want to impose a sort of independence that they have never had, but are learning and figuring out. Try dropping the subject for 2-4 weeks and ignore the whole potty not potty thing all together. Then when you start it back up again ask him if he wants to wear big boy pants and let it be his decision. I know you tried bribing…but use it as a reward not a bribe. If you say…”If you do this then you can have this,” then he is not in control and kids loose interest, even if it is something they would normally want. Instead reward when the behavior presents itself. Give him a sticker, or a stamp on his hand when he sits on the potty and tries. Give him a piece of chocolate, like an M&M or Hershey Kiss when he does poop in the potty.
You’ll be amazed of the results once you let some of the pressure go. No rule says your child, or grandchild (grin) has to be potty trained by a certain age.
Good luck!

first of all....kudos for raising another!
I rasied(am still raising)4 boys and NONE were potty trained by 3 years old! Somewhere along the way someone told me that their bladders are not fully formed until around 3 years old. I have NO idea if this is accurate information. However, I waited until they were close to or just at 3 years old and it went well. I also used the "new big boy undies" as incentive. They don't want to have to change them and it's not a pleasant feeling (unlike diapers or pull-ups).

does he ever go in the potty?

If so, maybe taking the pull ups off and buying some cool underoos may help, and then let him run around outside and mess them up until he is bothered by the soiled clothes and say "that's why we need a potty." You could also supply him with a toddler potty to use in the living room or kitchen or wherever if it's a timing issue as opposed to a discomfort issue.

You could also talk to the pediatrician about it.

From what I understand from my daughter's new preschool, peer pressure is a HUGE factor in cementing the potty training progress. Regular schedules for pottying and other kids doing it too, combined with no pull-ups, works wonders with kids who are partially potty trained.

Maybe have him run around one long weekend with just his shirt on (no diapers, underwear, etc on his lower half). I only have girls, but for both of them it was actually SEEING themselves pee (all over their feet) that seemed to help them make the connection and get themselves to the potty on time. Plus, nobody likes to have pee-pee on their feet! So, I used the bare bottom method of potty training, and scheduled the carpet cleaners for the next week. I never did the bribing thing, because I figure I don't want to bribe them to do things they ought to be doing anyhow. I just told them when they peed on their feet, "Oops! Next time you'd better run to the potty first! That's what princesses do when they need to go pee-pee!" (Of course for you, it might be Spiderman, or Diego, or whoever he admires.) My cousin used this method for her son at about that age, so I know it does work for boys also. You just have to mean business and don't reverse your course once you've decided to do it! Good luck!

Dearest Theresa;
Yes I know how you feel. My three and some month old daughter is still not potty trained. She also has had a difficult time with weaning from nursing {don't ask!} My husband and I feel that we may be looking at a sensory processsing issue. It's common in children whose bodies don't necessarily give them the appropriate signals to know when they need to go.
I wish you the best of luck}:
Shauna R
P.s. rewards do work hit and miss with the training.

Hi T...I remember my mom saying that she had all four of us girls potty trained my 18 mos. Not one of my 3 children were potty trained that quickly. Both my boys were 3-31/2 when they were potty trained and my 6 yr. old daughter is still having troubles.

I wouldn't put too much pressure on you or your grandson. If it's not a physical condition, then he will do it. Kids are much more distracted these days. Sometimes there is a physical or mental condition that needs to be checked into, but other than that it's probably all he has control of and is happy where he is at ;-) lol

The most important thing I have learned is to be consistant....and that is for anything you want to teach your children.

Good Luck and blessings to you!