Hi moms
My 4 1/2 year old son goes to preK Monday through Friday. He is one of the youngest in his class, being he turned four in July. He is very smart, remembers everything and really excels in class. The problem is, from time to time, he hits, pinches or yells at his friends. I have told him if he does this, he does not get to play on his computer game, which works most of the time. His teacher writes me about every thing he does, which I guess is good in a way. He is my first. I feel that he is just being four. Sometimes I think I should have waited until this year to send him to school, but he loves it. Has anyone else had these issues? If so, what happened?
Thanks to everyone for great advice as always. I am trusting my instincts on this one and am going to let him try kindergarten next year. I had a long talk with the assistant teacher, just to get a different perspective. It seems that my son is being singled out at times. I think next year with a new teacher and a fresh start things will be different.
what do you mean time to time? if happening on weekly basis really not good.
Why does he hit, pinch, yell? due to sharing issues? he needs to learn how to verbalize properly. The teachers should be looking to redirect his attention when happening and time out from the other children until he has calmed down.
My son is 4 1/2 and is in preschool. We haven't had any issues with him and there have been only a few issues with the other students that I know of. (BTW, we are sending him to a prek next year. He does well with the school work, but he is timid and seems a bit intimidated by the social aspects of school. He has a June bday.) As a mom there are a few questions I would ask. First, what is causing these behaviors? Is he being provoked? Is he frustrated in any way? Is he seeking attention? Second, how do the teachers handle it? While my personal opinion is that you are right in removing privileges, etc but the teachers need to do something on the spot which I think makes a bigger impact with young children. Do you talk with your son about how to handle certain situations - sharing, including others, what to do when his feelings get hurt? Talking about (or role playing) feelings and emotions can help kids put what they are feeling into words so they are less likely to act out. I don't think you should regret sending him to school this year, but I think you need to really take a good look at all options for the coming year to decide where your son should be placed. There is nothing wrong with having him repeat prek if that is what you choose to do. Also, if the teachers aren't addressing behavioral issues in the class, a different prek might be the way to go. Good luck to you.
Every dark night is followed by a bright sunny day. So, patience and attention is required and things will be fruitful in near future.
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He sounds like he is very immature for his age. I would agree with you in that you probably should have held him back a year. Just because he is super smart doesn't mean he's emotionally ready for such things.
This is how some young children handle stressful situations. And by stressful, I mean stressful to a four year old. He needs to be taught that this is not acceptable, and how to handle his anger the right way. Try to find out what situations cause this reaction and teach him how to handle them. Talk to the teacher to see how they are handled in class. You and the teacher need to be consistent. He is young, but not to young to learn how to behave properly. It may take some time, so be patient.
I think disciplining him when he gets home (no computer games) is a bit delayed for something that happens at pre-school. How are they coping with it at pre-K ? Obviously he is not hitting, pinching or yelling at home. So the problem is at preK, and not home. He should be disciplined at pre-K. I would talk with the teacher, and find out how she is handling it. Team up and make a plan, tell her how YOU would handle it if he did that at home, and have her handle it.
What behaviors preceed his acting out ? Is he being bullied? (he is the youngest, after all) Is there some way to intervene BEFORE his behavior turns ? Most of the time, it takes two to tango, so I doubt he's acting out in a vaccuum.
That said, my other question is: Has it been this way all year, or is this new Spring behavior? I ask because I remember when my daughter was just barely 5 and in K, and and I did notice that when Spring came, and the curriculum began to push a bit harder toward year end, she began to struggle some. If you have the opportunity, I would NOT send your son to Kindergarten at age 5. I have 2 girls, both born in August, who made the K- cut-off agewise. The older one we held back a year and we were REALLY glad we did. The younger one went to K at age 5, and I have often wished I had held her back so she would have had maturity on her side as she went thru the school system.
It's up to you, but the gift of an extra year of maturity can make a HUGE impact on your child, even if he's smart. It's not the grade level but the social issues that are hard to cope with in school. And the social issues tend to decrease with maturity vis a vis their peers.
Good luck !!
b
I have to agree with the other posters who said that discipline has to happen right away. If you take away his computer games hours later, he won't understand what one has to do with the other. You could certainly discuss classroom discipline with his daycare teachers.
hi M.,
he is too little yet . you 'must' continue to teach him right from wrong .. take away things etc and 'also' catch him being good ! give him mommy 1 on 1 time ...
yes he is smart ... he is not socially spectacular yet ... [ he will be ]
simply go with your gut .... re peat pre school . hold off with ' real' school as of now ...
mommy always are right .
a grammy
w.
